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Secondhand Therapy

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Secondhand Therapy is a funny, honest mental health podcast where two unlicensed best friends unpack their weekly therapy sessions.Join Louie Paoletti and Michael Malone as they explore anxiety, ADHD, grief, masculinity, and emotional growth—with humor, heart, and total transparency. Each episode blends raw self-reflection with real time takes on therapy, trauma, relationships, and the messy process of healing.It’s real talk about mental health in the modern world, and why personal growth is so damn hard.

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Why knowing the right choice doesn’t mean we’ll make it—self-sabotage, permission, and productivity guilt. Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ Why do we avoid the things we know are good for us? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack the frustrating loop of knowing the right choice—and still doing the opposite. From routines, gym habits, food decisions, and productivity, to deeper conversations about permission, self-worth, and why “doing the task” isn’t the same as experiencing it. We talk about: All-or-nothing thinking and overwhelm Why productivity becomes identity Permission, avoidance, and self-sabotage Therapy insights on routine, ADHD, and motivation The difference between function and joy Why caring for yourself feels harder than it should This is a raw, funny, and uncomfortable conversation about self-discipline, self-compassion, and why taking care of yourself isn’t as simple as “just doing it.” We’re not therapists. This is not professional advice. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Anxiety with no trigger, body image shame, food guilt, and the pressure of becoming your “higher self.” Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ What does it mean when anxiety shows up with no trigger? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we talk about living with anxiety in the body, learning to stop fighting it, and the frustration of being told to “just calm down.” We unpack vulnerability, validation, and why some people need their feelings acknowledged out loud—while others don’t. The conversation turns to body image, weight gain, food guilt, perfectionism, and why moderation feels impossible for some people. We also explore parts work, routines vs survival mode, and the pressure of the “higher self” mindset—when motivation turns into self-shame. This episode is an honest, funny, and uncomfortable look at anxiety, mental health, food, and learning how (and when) to show up for yourself. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
People-pleasing, fear of failure, and how your mom’s voice became your inner critic. Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ Why is it so hard to say “I don’t know”? Why does being liked feel like survival? In this episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack people-pleasing, fear of failure, and the invisible ways our parents shape our inner critic. One host shares what therapy is revealing about his need to be “nice,” his terror of messing up, and how his relationship with his mother quietly programmed his fear of rejection. We talk about: People-pleasing as a trauma response Fear of failure and perfectionism Why being “nice” blocks real connection Feelings vs facts (and the stories we tell ourselves) Productivity as a substitute for self-worth Learning to say no without guilt Wanting your parent to be more — and turning that disappointment inward This episode explores how abandonment fear, emotional control, and self-worth get tangled together — and what it looks like to start unlearning those patterns in real time. We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking honestly about what we’re learning. If you struggle with people-pleasing, approval-seeking, fear of being disliked, or feeling like you’re never enough, this episode will hit close to home. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
When someone yells at your mom: anger, boundaries, emotional control, and doing the right thing. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ What do you do when you hear someone raise their voice at your mom — and everything in your body wants to explode? Today, we unpack a tense holiday moment that forces a deeper conversation about anger, boundaries, family dynamics, and emotional regulation. Louie shares a confrontation with his mother’s partner, before reflecting on how rage, fear, and protection instincts show up — even after years of therapy. We also talk about: Navigating a complicated relationship with your mother Why “doing the right thing” can still feel awful Anger vs. self-control and what emotional maturity actually looks like Loneliness during the holidays and the push-pull of wanting connection Learning to validate yourself instead of tearing yourself apart What it means to be proud of yourself for the first time This episode is about breaking old patterns, choosing accountability over aggression, and learning how to sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of acting them out. We’re not therapists. We’re just two people in therapy, talking through what we’re learning in real time. If you’re struggling with family conflict, holiday depression, anger issues, or feeling behind in life, this one’s for you. Thanks for being here... Secondhand Therapy. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Lou still hates a mismatch as he struggles with his desire to be more vulnerable. Lou and Michael discuss what it means to ask for emotional support. Lou's therapist dropped a bombshell on where shame comes from, especially if you had emotionally immature parents or if your parents always fixed your mistakes for you. Lou takes care of everything and hates it and loves it. Lou and Michael talk about whether we are alone in life. Sidenote: you can hear the extreme winds that spread fire across Los Angeles, throughout the episode. We did our best with the audio. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
We welcome Jenny Zigrino to discuss loss, coping, addictive behaviors, and disordered eating—and what real recovery looks like when you stop avoiding the pain underneath it all. An honest conversation about grief, relapse, shame, emotional regulation, and learning healthier ways to cope when life feels overwhelming. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this episode, we have an honest, unfiltered conversation about grief, coping mechanisms, addiction, recovery, and eating disorders—and how deeply connected they often are. We explore how unresolved grief can fuel addictive behaviors, disordered eating, emotional avoidance, and unhealthy coping strategies, and what recovery actually looks like beyond surface-level fixes. We talk about substance addiction, behavioral addiction, food addiction, binge eating, restriction, relapse, emotional regulation, trauma responses, and shame, and how these patterns show up in everyday life and relationships. The conversation also touches on mental health recovery, therapy, self-awareness, harm reduction, relapse prevention, and building healthier coping tools when life feels overwhelming. This episode is for anyone navigating loss, grief, addiction recovery, eating disorder recovery, mental health struggles, or the long, nonlinear process of healing. It’s raw, compassionate, and focused on understanding—not judgment. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Michael starts off dissecting his newfound daddy issues and how validation and disappointment plays into his life before getting into his younger self. Lou and Michael get into their individual desires to express more gratitude. Lou explores the dichotomy of having a great life but not feeling great all the time before discussing EMDR. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Louie’s therapist tells him his “direct communication” is actually defensiveness — and it sends him into an identity spiral. We talk about fear, softness, control, relationship triggers, autism traits, wanting to be chosen, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels like death. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ We dig into the messy reality of defensiveness, vulnerability, emotional expression, fear, control, and communication patterns inside relationships. Louie shares how his therapist told him that his “direct communication” is actually a defense mechanism, and the conversation spirals into emotional avoidance, softness, and why saying “I’m scared and sad” feels impossible. We break down: Why “direct communication” can actually be emotional defensiveness How vulnerability gets blocked by masculinity, shame & fear Autism traits, miscommunication, and not hearing what isn’t said Wanting to be chosen, fear of losing connection, and relationship insecurity Control vs. fear: trying to protect connection vs. micromanaging outcomes How delivery affects emotional safety (soft vs. blunt communication) Why asking for comfort feels like weakness Emotional funks, depression cycles, ADHD patterns & medication fears Relationship honesty, lying, guilt, and the messy ethics of confession It’s raw, chaotic, vulnerable, funny, and painfully relatable — the perfect mix for a mental health, relationships, therapy talk podcast. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Michael talks about shutting down over Thanksgiving, emotional numbness, and the messy reality of grief. Louie breaks down triggers, embarrassment, childhood patterns, and why certain moments feel like personal attacks. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this week’s episode of Secondhand Therapy, we unpack the complicated mix of grief, emotional numbness, triggers, anger, and childhood conditioning that still shapes adult reactions. Michael opens up about spending Thanksgiving in bed, feeling emotionally shut down, and exploring why certain moments hit harder than others. Louie challenges him on avoidance, grief processing, and the stories we tell ourselves when intense emotions show up. We also dive into: Why holiday grief hits unexpectedly Emotional numbness vs. dissociation Organizing grief so it stops overwhelming everything How embarrassment and shame block emotional release Anger, frustration, and “pretending” to be healed Nervous system triggers and why they feel like aggression Childhood patterns around attention and how they show up in adulthood Customer service, disappointment, and why small moments can activate big wounds This is a raw, honest conversation about grief, emotional regulation, inner child responses, triggers, vulnerability, self-awareness, and healing,. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Louie shares a dream about his late partner that cracks open a huge conversation about grief, avoidance, triggers, and what it means to actually move forward. Michael challenges him, things get tense, and it turns into one of our most honest episodes yet. ______ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______ In this deeply personal episode of Second Hand Therapy, we unpack dreams, grief, unresolved emotions, and the complicated ways they show up in everyday life. Louie opens up about a dream involving his late partner and how it challenged his beliefs around meaning, symbolism, and emotional closure. Michael pushes back with questions about avoidance, grief processing, and what it means to “move forward” after loss. Together, we explore: How dreams connect to subconscious processing The difference between honoring grief vs. being defined by it Avoidance, emotional triggers, and why they resurface years later How unresolved childhood and adult grief compounds Moving forward without “leaving someone behind” What it looks like when grief unexpectedly “finds you” This episode is a vulnerable, honest look at grief, trauma, emotional regulation, subconscious processing, healing, and the messiness of being human—delivered with the same humor, tension, and real friendship you expect from this show. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Jeremy Lipkowitz breaks down porn addiction, how it affects your relationships, and why it’s more common than people think. He also talks about his time as a Buddhist monk and what that life taught him about discipline, desire, and mindfulness. _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Jeremy Lipkowitz joins us for a deep, honest conversation about porn addiction, how it develops, and the real ways it impacts mental health, relationships, intimacy, and self-worth. We explore what porn addiction actually is, how it shows up in everyday life, and why so many people struggle with shame and secrecy around it. Jeremy also shares his powerful story of becoming a Buddhist monk, how mindfulness reshaped his relationship with desire, and what monastic life taught him about emotional regulation, discipline, and self-compassion. If you're curious about addiction, mindfulness, or the psychology behind our habits, this episode hits all the big questions. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Louie gets a wild text from his dad and things spiral into talk about cynicism, giving (and taking) compliments, and why we chase what we’re “missing out on.” _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Louie gets a surprising text from his dad—and it sparks a conversation about how we process emotion, self-worth, and connection. In this episode, we unpack why giving and receiving compliments can feel so uncomfortable, how cynicism masks vulnerability, and what “missing out” really means when it comes to FOMO. Michael opens up about his ongoing struggle with accountability—and Louie calls him out on it. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Louie and Michael answer a listener email about why men struggle with vulnerability—diving into shame, repression, and the fear of emotional connection. _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Louie and Michael respond to a listener email about why men struggle with vulnerability, emotional awareness, and connection. They dig into childhood conditioning, gender norms, and how shame and emotional repression keep men stuck in outdated ideas of strength. The conversation explores therapy, communication, emotional literacy, masculinity, and healing, asking what it would take for men to feel safe being seen. Equal parts funny and introspective, this episode is a breakdown of why men feel regressed in vulnerability—and how to change that.   BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Louie and Michael unpack fawning—the hidden trauma response behind people-pleasing, codependency, and emotional safety—in their most vulnerable talk yet. _____ -BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ -The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off -Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III _____ Louie and Michael dive into fawning, trauma responses, people-pleasing, and emotional safety. Michael opens up about childhood conditioning, codependency, and realizing how much of his life has been guided by the need to feel safe. The two unpack how emotional immaturity in parents leads to adult people-pleasing, and how learning new therapeutic language can lead to awareness, growth, and healing. A vulnerable, unfiltered conversation about therapy, emotional regulation, recovery, and trauma. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Gina Martin joins to talk misogyny, feminism, and emotional healing—how patriarchy, trauma, and compassion shape identity, relationships, and recovery. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______________ Louie and Michael talk with author and activist Gina Martin about misogyny, feminism, gender roles, and emotional safety. Gina breaks down how patriarchy, trauma, and apathy shape men’s and women’s behavior, and what true compassion, forgiveness, and accountability look like in relationships. They explore how to raise boys, gendered social conditioning, and why understanding systems—not just individuals—matters for change. This episode dives deep into feminism, empathy, recovery, therapy, and identity, offering an unfiltered look at how culture shapes our emotional lives. Gina Martin she/her is a British gender equality activist, writer and facilitator known for her work fighting gender stereotypes, misogyny, sexual violence and the manosphere. Gina was responsible for making upskirting illegal in England and Wales (with 3 countries following suit), and changing discriminatory Instagram policy. She is also a writer, has published three books and has a best-selling Substack. Gina now works in schools across Australia running workshops for high schoolers on gender stereotypes. Gina's IG: https://www.instagram.com/ginamartin/?hl=en Gina's Substack: https://ginamartin.substack.com/ Gina's Latest Book: https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/452339/no-offence-but-by-martin-gina/9781529177572 BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Lou and Michael unpack wabi sabi, the beauty of imperfection—talking therapy, accountability, control, and what it means to be seen before you’re “fixed.” BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ______________ This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael dive into the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi—the art of imperfection—and unpack what it means to be seen while you’re still in pieces. They talk accountability versus blame, how guilt and control intertwine, and why savoring small moments might be the real therapy. With stories from real life and a mix of humor, ego, and introspection, this episode explores the messy middle of growth, relationships, and being human. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Michael and Lou unpack how childhood trauma fuels anxiety, codependency, and fear of abandonment. A raw mix of therapy insights, humor, and hard truths on boundaries, recovery, and self-worth. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ The Maca Team: Louie really does take Maca every day. (He takes Black and Tri-Blend). He loves it. http://themacateam.com/secondhandtherapy promo code: bearcub for 10% off Light Phone: Louie really does have and use a Light Phone III. He loves it. https://www.thelightphone.com/shop?ref=mmexymn promo code: secondhandtherapy for $50 off pre-order of Light Phone III ___________________________ In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Michael and Lou dive deep into the messy intersections of childhood trauma, codependency, and the fear of abandonment. What starts as a simple conversation about space in friendship unravels into a raw exploration of why small conflicts can feel catastrophic, how anxiety distorts reality, and why it’s so hard to separate present struggles from old patterns. They talk candidly about boundaries, people-pleasing, and how growing up under constant fear leaves a permanent mark on self-worth. With sharp humor and unfiltered honesty, they reflect on therapy sessions, personal breakthroughs, and the exhausting cycle of trying to protect every relationship at the cost of their own peace. This is an episode for anyone who has wrestled with low self-esteem, overthinking, or the nagging belief that every disagreement might mean the end. Through laughter, vulnerability, and plenty of hard truths, Michael and Lou remind us that recovery is less about erasing the past and more about learning to live with it without letting it define us. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Codependency, boundaries, consent, and low self-esteem. Louie and Michael explore addiction, abandonment, and what it means to feel worthy of repair in relationships. BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Louie and Michael unpack codependency, boundaries, and emotional safety. Louie reflects on a moment with his partner that highlighted the importance of consent, nervous system responses, and accountability in relationships. Michael shares insights from Codependents Anonymous meetings, exploring how low self-esteem, people-pleasing, and fear of abandonment shape codependent patterns. Together they discuss family dynamics, addiction, conflict avoidance, and the struggle to feel worthy of repair after ruptures. This conversation dives deep into how childhood experiences with addiction and dysfunction inform adult relationships, self-worth, and emotional expression. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   Brad Garrett joins Secondhand Therapy for a candid conversation on mental health, addiction, recovery, and relationships. Together we examine how codependency and family dynamics shape adulthood, and why masculinity often blocks men from showing vulnerability. Garrett reflects on the recovery process, the challenges of identity, and how performance and humor can function as coping strategies. The episode explores men’s mental health, the role of vulnerability in healing, and the importance of reframing connection and personal growth beyond old family patterns. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
Michael faces breakup blues while Louie shares dating advice from therapy. They dive into grief, guilt, family dynamics, and how relational thinking shapes love and connection.   BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy.   If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/   Michael is in the middle of the breakup blues, and Louie brings fresh dating advice straight from his therapist. This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael opens up about how grief impacts the brain in ways similar to addiction, while Louie reflects on the guilt he feels enjoying his partner’s family more than his own. They explore why talking politics with family rarely works, and what therapy teaches about boundaries, guilt, and connection. Michael also unpacks the difference between relational and non-relational thinking, and how those patterns affect the way we approach love, conflict, and family. It’s a vulnerable, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about breakups, grief, dating, family dynamics, and learning how to navigate relationships without losing yourself.   Support the pod: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com   Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod   Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105   Keywords: breakup podcast, dating advice, grief and the brain, therapy podcast, mental health podcast, family dynamics, guilt in relationships, politics and family, relational thinking, addiction and grief, unlicensed therapy, men’s mental health, emotional boundaries, personal growth podcast BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@secondhandtherapypod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105
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Comments (3)

Elllsr

The ending ... 👌

May 20th
Reply

Christina Lux

Wow I'm 10 minutes the first episode I've ever listenrd to and so far it is just one person expressing his personal feelings and experience and the other person aggressively telling him he's wrong. Why do you need to convince someone they have anxiety when they don't feel they have an issue? What does that serve except to completely invalidate their own intuition and experience of themselves? Weird podcast.

Feb 23rd
Reply

Lena F

Lou is not the heavy one, Lou is a green flag one

Nov 27th
Reply