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Seeing Other People
Author: Ilana Dunn
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Modern dating sucks, but dating expert Ilana Dunn is here to make it suck just a little bit less. Join host Ilana and both well-known and anonymous, unfiltered guests as they navigate the complexities and realities of modern dating. From first dates to breakups, they’re not afraid to bare all as they dive deep into what it means to be single, in a relationship, or anything in between. Whether you're looking for love, or just want to laugh and commiserate with others, tune in to explore the rollercoaster that is the ever-evolving world of dating. And in the meantime, follow along @seeingotherpeople to feel a little less alone.
396 Episodes
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On today's Unfiltered episode, I sit down with a 28-year-old guy from New York City named Sam. Sam walks us through his complicated relationship with Taylor that began right before covid started, resulting in an unexpected Long distance relationship. Sam shares the struggles that he and Taylor faced including lack of communication, internal mental health issues, external pressures, family members adding their opinions in, and breaking up and getting back together multiple times.
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On this episode of Unfiltered, I’m joined by Caroline, a 27 year old living in New York City who is navigating dating after losing her older brother. She shares what it’s like to communicate her loss to a date, what people’s reactions have been, and how each individual has their own personal preference on the grieving process and on how and when to have these conversations with a potential partner. Caroline and I discuss how people can have more thoughtful and empathetic conversations surrounding loss and grief in order to destigmatize and reduce the overall awkwardness.
Follow along on Instagram @seeingotherpeople and @ilana.dunn.
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Mady Maio, founder of Camber app and host of Okay Sis, joins the show today. We answer some of the 36 Questions that Lead to Love in honor of Mady’s new video podcast “36 Questions Later,” and deep dive into discussions about the concept of fame, how you can’t make everybody happy, and our desire to not care what others think. Mady shares how she and her long-term boyfriend started out as friends and transitioned to more, and we hear how they’ve grown as individuals and partners throughout their twenties. We chat about dating mistakes we made in college, how to meet people in a new city, what Mady has learned from romance novels, and more.
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I’m sharing one of my favorite podcast interviews I’ve experienced to date! Elevation Nation’s Sam Pantich and Parker Yablon invited me onto their show to discuss how I got to where I am today. We discuss my career path, including my struggle in the music industry post-college, my time at Hinge, and how I made the decision to go full time with Seeing Other People. I open up about the challenges I faced, my internal struggles, and what led me to start podcasting and opening up about mid dating life. We discuss the power of vulnerability, dating app tips, and more.
Check out Elevation Nation and follow along on Instagram at @elevationnation_io
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I’m joined by Brianna Apple, a 23 year old Tiktoker navigating the NYC dating scene. We discuss the nuances of why she’s dating for fun and not for love right now, and how she navigates getting to know people without being misleading about her intentions. She shares why she has her heart guarded, her biggest dating pet peeves, and hilarious dating fails. We discuss red flags we give off, the best and worst parts of dating in your 20s, and more.
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UNFILTERED: I’m joined by a 40 year old woman who shares the story of how she developed a relationship with an old friend after he became her white knight during her divorce. We hear how they went from being friends (and roommates) to partners, and how their relationship went from happy and healthy to toxic, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. She shares red flags she missed, why she didn’t end it even though she was unhappy, and how they finally parted ways. We hear what has helped her get through the breakup and what she learned from the situation.
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Erica Shea (previously on the episode “Do You Really Find Love When You Least Expect It?” is back to update us on what happened with the guy she met…when she least expected it. We hear why it didn’t work out, how things ended, how her healing process has been, and what she’s learned from the breakup. We chat about RSB, AKA “Recent Single Behavior,” and if Erica still believes you find love when you least expect it, even after getting her heart broken. We answer listener questions about reaching back out to exes, how to flirt, making the first move, and more.
Check my episode on Erica’s podcast “Oversharing with Erica Shea”
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UNFILTERED: I'm joined by a woman who tells the story of meeting a man from Bumble, developing a relationship with him, and then learning that he's a member of a Nationalist organization. We hear how he told her this, what her reaction was, and why she decided to continue seeing him. She shares the internal struggle she faced because of this, her experience going to his Nationalist chapter Christmas party, whether or not she told her friends, why she continued to date him despite his beliefs, and what happened when she finally called it quits.
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UNFILTERED: I'm joined by a woman who tells the story of how she accidentally ended up in a long distance relationship with a man she met on Bumble while he was visiting NYC from Australia. We hear about their rom-com worthy first date, why they decided to keep in touch, and how deep their connection got despite the distance. She shares how spotted some red flags along the way, but was easily able to justify them and continue forward, until she received a message from his girlfriend of over a decade.
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I’m joined by Olivia Landau, Founder & CEO of The Clear Cut, the insanely popular bespoke diamond and fine jewelry company. We hear Olivia she made the first move with her now-husband Kyle, their emotional rollercoaster of a proposal story, why they ended up starting The Clear Cut together despite their families telling them not to go into business together, and what it’s like working with your spouse. We discuss how social media has completely changed the proposal process and led to fewer suprises and more collaboration on ring shopping. We answer listener questions about how to start the process of looking for an engagement ring, what to do if you hate the ring that your fiancé picked out, how to navigate being on different timelines than your partner, and more. Check out www.theclearcut.co and follow along on Instgram & Tiktok @theclearcut.
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I'm joined by Maria Avgitidis, aka Matchmaker Maria, founder of Agape Match to chat all things chemistry and compatibility. We discuss if singles are looking for the wrong things, how we should assess first dates, how to meet people IRL, and what you should look for when setting friends up. Maria shares advice on how to approach important conversations like wanting children, finances, and cultural differences. We answer listener questions about seeking intellectual connections, what to do when someone asks you to be official or says "I love you" before you're on the same page, and more.
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I’m joined by Jamie Stone, blogger at honestlyjamie.com and host of the “A Little Too Much” podcast. Jamie opens up about losing her younger sister in 2016 and her dad in 2019 and how it’s impacted her life, dating journey, relationships, and friendships. We discuss why we’re afraid to talk about death, how you lose friends during the grieving process, how her losses amplified her fear of abandonment, bonding with someone else who has experienced loss like this, what to say when it comes up on dates, and how you should respond if someone tells you they’ve lost a loved one.
Articles we discussed:
https://honestlyjamie.com/sympathy-gift-ideas-for-grieving-friends/
https://hellogiggles.com/friend-unfollow-you-instagram/
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I’m joined by Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu, hosts of Dateable podcast. We’re chatting all about why dating sucks and how we each can make it better. We discuss the biggest mistakes singles are making in their dating lives, the importance of focusing on the positives when dating, how we can turn each date into a learning experience, what we’ve learned from our past, and more.
Listen to Dateable and follow along on Instagram!
Schedule a 1:1 with me at direct.me/ilanadunn
Check out Adobe Express here #AdobeExpressAmbassadors #Ad
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UNFILTERED: I’m joined by a 29-year-old woman who tells us how got ghosted after dating someone for months whom she met through her parents. We talk about the red flags she noticed retrospectively, when things shifted, and how he went about ghosting her. We hear what getting back into dating after this experience was like, and how it ultimately led her to reconnect with her now partner and the love of her life, who she had previously written off because of distance.
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I’m joined by Michael Kaye, Global Head of Communications at OkCupid, to discuss all things dating apps, cuffing season, and Taylor Swift. Michael shares the insider scoop into the biggest mistakes people are making in their dating app profiles, the best icebreakers for first opening lines, and how to best prepare for this year’s cuffing season. Michael opens up about how he was still in the closet when he and his partner Parker connected on Tinder, and what he has learned about love from OkCupid and Taylor Swift.
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I’m joined by Sarah and Audrey, cohosts of the podcast Completely Fucking Clueless. Sarah and Audrey open up about when they knew they were queer, how they explored it, whether or not they suppressed their sexuality, and what helped them fully embrace who they are. Sarah shares how she and her current partner first met at summer camp when they were 12, and Audrey shares what it’s like being bisexual on dating apps in NYC. We chat about the importance of surrounding yourself with people who have shared experiences, dating when your career isn’t where you want it to be, and comparing yourself to those around you who seem to have things more figured out.
Follow CFC on TikTok @completelyfckingclueless & Instagram @completelyfuckingclueless
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I'm joined by singer/songwriter Maryon King to chat all about fboys and situationships. We discuss fboy tendencies, how to spot an fboy, and whether or not we're all capable of being fboys. We dissect why we end up in so many situationships, if it's possible to go from a situationship to a relationship, how to combat the feeling of someone making you feel unworthy, how she turned her frustration with modern dating into her hit song "Boys Will Be Boys."
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I’m joined by Ali Jackson AKA Finding Mr. Height to chat all about her egg freezing experience. Ali walks us through what egg freezing is, what factors went into her decision to freeze her eggs, and what the process is like. She shares how she felt throughout the process, what side effects she experienced, whether or not it’s changed how she feels about her timeline, and how she communicates about this with potential partners.
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I'm joined by Livia, a 23-year-old who shares her story of starting a relationship while knowing there was an end date. We discuss what it's like to countdown to the relationship ending, sticking with your gut decision to pursue something independently, being open-minded about dealbreakers, and more.
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I’m joined by Kirstie Taylor, a dating, relationships, and self-love writer & author of “What I Wish I Knew About Love.” Kirstie and I chat about practicing self-love when navigating modern dating, forgiving yourself when your actions caused things to go awry, and setting and enforcing healthy boundaries. We discuss what to do when going through a breakup including building back your self-worth, rediscovering yourself, and working towards getting back out there.
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too many adverts is one episode guys!
I'm an oversharer.. it is a personality, upbringing and even a cultural thing for me. it can be a toxic trait if it's done to look for attention but it can also be just a natural personality trait. Definetely not necessarily a toxic trait BUT it can definetely point to incompatibility if the other person is not ok with that.