Sex Ed Before Bed

A conversation with my friend and mentor, barbara findlay (she/her). For nearly five decades, barbara's worked tirelessly for LGBT rights in Canada. The episode was recorded in February 2025.  Our discussion ranged from the modern world we find ourselves in and how we got here to the homegrown transphobia right here in Canada, to galvanizing and taking action. barbara died on August 22, 2026 - this episode includes a closing tribute.  Timestamps 00:00 Cold open 00:58 Introduction and the political moment  02:32 Climate dread, fear, and the rise of right-wing populism 05:59 Trans rights in Canada 10:16 Saskatchewan's Bill 137 and the notwithstanding clause 13:28 The "people not like us" sentiment, and why Lawyers Against Transphobia operates with joy rather than righteousness 17:39 barbara's path from feminism to anti-racism work and finding agency 19:54 What listeners can do - locating yourself in systems of power 23:59 Building community  27:09 Tribute  Taking Action https://www.repeal137.ca/action to send an email to your MLA insisting on repeal of Bill 137. Transphobic Legal Actions in Canada https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/alberta-bill9-nov18/ https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/sask-appeal-aug11/ Remembering barbara https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/barbara-findlay-lawyer-lgbtqia-advocate-mourned-9.7317710 https://nationalmagazine.ca/en-ca/articles/people/2026/a-transformative-force-in-the-legal-profession https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/barbara-findlay-aug-24/ https://xtramagazine.com/video/barbara-findlay-lawyer-obituary-284076      

Sex Ed Before Bed Host Bex (she/her) is in the hotseat for the first time ever, interviewed by her sister Izzy (she/her) on another taboo topic: friendship breakups. Timestamps 0:00 Cold open 3:30 Coming out late, building a queer community 9:42 Pursing love with a friend 12:00 Girlfriend breakup, crew breakup 15:44 The stories we tell ourselves and friendship ideals 18:10 Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) and cognitive distortions 24:53 Transmuting pain into art 30:00 Accepting what is 33:00 Closing Topics we discuss: Coming out and building community Role that queer families play for newly out folks Romantic relationships within a friend group Friend group ruptures in the wake of breakups Role of compounding factors in coping with loss The role of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in grappling with loss  Accepting the loss and moving forward Books The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen or End Any Relationship by KC Davis Tools Thought Record exercise to combat distorted thinking Research The Lesbian's Experience of Friendship by Jeanne Stanley pgs. 43-44 Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria definitions from ADDitude and the Cleveland Clinic The lived experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD - A qualitative exploration PLoS One - Published January 2026 Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

In this episode, Bex (she/her) is joined by Aislin (she/her) and Stella (she/they) to discuss what queer community means, how to find and build inclusive spaces, and the challenges of representation in the arts and athletics. They share personal stories, insights, and shoutouts to local queer organizations making a difference. Timestamps  00:00 - Introduction 04:30 - Defining Queer Community 12:15 - Toronto’s Queer Community & Inclusivity 21:00 - Queer Identity & Representation 29:40 - The Importance of Organizing 39:50 - Challenges in Queer Spaces 48:30 - The Role of Art & Performance in Queer Culture 56:10 - Lifting up the Queer Community in Real-time 1:04:15 - Community Shoutouts Where to find us Bex @sexedbeforebed Aislin @queerrunclub & @architectaislin Queer Run Club - Weekly Saturday runs & coffee meetups

  Queer Jock Night Queer Mingle Events 
- Black and Indigenous-run meetups for the lesbian, non-binary, trans and queer community Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.  

1 in 5 university-enrolled women will experience attempted or completed rape. Rape is one of the most underreported crimes - 10% are reported.  A world without rape. A world where sexual violence is rare. This is the goal of Sara's work on Flip the Script, a new Canadian sexual assault prevention program for young cis and trans women to assess, acknowledge and act. This episode is a must-listen for every parent and every young woman.  We talked about how the program works and the positive impact it has had so far. We talked about how young women want to have these conversations about setting boundaries, understanding coercion and pondering what pleasure looks like for them.  We also talked about radical self-love and for women, trusting our gut!  Resources  Globe and Mail Article  Draw The Line  Loveisrespect.org Sexual Assault Centres Near You  Sara's Work Insta @girls.resist Twitter @girls_resist About Flip the Script Sexual Assault Resistance Education (SARE) Centre Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

With great attraction comes great sex, forever, right? Not so much.  Dr. Jessica Maxwell studies relationships and sex for a living. With Canadian roots, she's now an assistant professor at the University of Auckland. I learned things from her that I started applying to my own life as soon as the conversation ended. Topics of discussion Sexual fixed mindset vs. growth mindset What factors play into long-term relationship satisfaction?  How often are people having sex? Who else is thinking about how often people are having sex? A neat quiz to tell your partner what you want in bed (or out of it) The Orgasm Gap  What's the best way to meet someone we're compatible with?  How scientific are dating apps?  Double standards & myths  Fun Stuff Sex preferences quiz | Mojo Upgrade  List of researchers Jessica mentioned along with media coverage of their work:  Terri Fisher | LA Times | Who lies more about sex, men or women?  Sam Joel | The Cut | It's All Too Easy to Ignore Relationship Dealbreakers Amy Muise | Science Daily | Couples who have sex weekly are happiest  Lindsey Hick | Global News | Are you lying to yourself about how much sex you need in your relationship?  Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.