Sex and Psychology Podcast

Even in the happiest relationships, people don’t always share their fantasies and desires. And sometimes that’s because people are worried about rocking the boat. For example, what if you share a fantasy your partner isn’t into and it reveals an incompatibility? In this episode, we’re going to explore the factors that predict people’s willingness to open up about their fantasies, and why we sometimes decide to keep them to ourselves. I am joined once again by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the most common sexual fantasies people have? Which fantasies are people most likely to tell their partners about, and why? How is being in a relationship characterized by high levels of sexual novelty linked to sharing fantasies? How is the length of a relationship related to whether people share their fantasies? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What happens when people decide to share their sexual fantasies? How does it usually go? In today’s show, we’re going to explore how many people have ever shared their fantasies with a partner before, the five most common reasons that people decide to open up about them, as well as how partners usually react to fantasy disclosure. I am joined by Matthew Kimberley, a lecturer in Psychology at Birmingham City University. He researches sexual fantasies and also leads the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is it common for people to share their fantasies with their partners? What is the most common reason for sharing a sexual fantasy? Why do some people choose to keep their fantasies secret? Do partners typically respond positively or negatively when fantasies are shared? When is sharing your fantasies a good idea? You can check out the Gender, Sexuality and Intimate Relationships Research Lab’s website to learn more about Matthew’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University is where the world turns to understand sex and relationships. Now, you can help continue its expert-led research. This month, the Match Group is offering an incredible 2:1 match for all gifts to the Kinsey Institute Research Fund. Learn more and make a donation here: https://knsy.in/giftmatch  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Long-term partners often find themselves having the same fight over and over again. This repetitive, unproductive conflict is known as a negative cycle–and it can ultimately be very damaging to the relationship. So in today’s show, we’re going to discuss how to identify negative cycles in your own relationship, and how to break the pattern. My guest is Julie Menanno, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She also provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. Julie’s latest book is titled Secure Love: Create a Relationship that Lasts a Lifetime. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How do you know when an argument you’re having with a partner is reflective of a larger negative cycle? What are some ways to use vulnerability to break out of a negative cycle? What does co-regulation look like for couples trying to resolve an argument? What are the most common traps that lead to negative cycles in the first place? How can couples repair their relationship if a negative cycle sneaks in? You can visit Julie’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Oral sex is one of the most popular bedroom activities. However, while most people say that it can be highly pleasurable, it doesn’t always feels great. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to make oral sex better. Specifically, we’ll explore tips and techniques from the Pleasure Mechanics for being both a good giver and receiver, including what to do if you find yourself getting bored giving oral sex. I am joined by Chris Maxwell Rose and Charlotte Mia Rose, co-creators of PleasureMechanics.com. They have devoted their lives to generating online resources to support folks in cultivating more erotic pleasure, joy, and connection. They also run a podcast called Speaking of Sex with the Pleasure Mechanics. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why is the idea that there’s just one perfect “recipe” for oral sex a myth? How do you deal with common roadblocks that interfere with your ability to enjoy performing oral sex, like boredom or discomfort? What are some new positions or approaches that can elevate oral experiences? What should you do if oral sex feels like it has become a duty or obligation instead of something you love doing? What are the key factors that make oral sex great? To learn more, sign up for the Pleasure Mechanics Oral Sex Mastery course. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Historically, medical research has done a disservice to women. In fact, for many years, scientists only studied men, assuming that all effects would generalize to women. But we now know that’s not true. In today’s show, we’re talking about how we can improve the state of science on women’s health, and how that begins with having a fuller understanding of the hormone shifts that occur during the menstrual cycle and how they affect women’s brains and bodies. I am joined once again by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the problem with one-size-fits-all medical advice? How does the concept of PMS pathologize natural things that happen to women’s bodies? What’s the problem with using the male body as the “standard” in scientific research? What’s wrong with the way scientists typically treat the menstrual cycle in studies of women? How can we do research that actually serves women? You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

It is well-known that PMS symptoms can deeply affect how women are feeling, including their mood, pain, and energy levels. But why exactly does this happen? Today, we’re going to dive into the science of sex hormones and the menstrual cycle, including how hormone levels affect women’s sexual motivation and tips for navigating sex at different phases of the cycle. I am joined by Dr. Sarah Hill, the author of This is Your Brain on Birth Control. She has spent most of her 20+ year career studying women, relationships, and health. Her latest book is titled The Period Brain: The New Science of Why We PMS and How To Fix It. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the deal with PMS? Why did women evolve to feel like crap for half of the menstrual cycle? How do the rise and fall of different hormones during the cycle affect women’s brains? Progesterone is a hormone that’s supposed to make us feel good. So why doesn’t it have that effect during the second half of the menstrual cycle? How do estrogen and progesterone affect sexual motivation and desire? You can check our Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Holistic sexuality involves having a deep enough level of self-understanding that you can make choices that are aligned with your core needs and feel empowered to live out those choices in your own life. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about harnessing holistic sexuality in order to lead a more pleasure-filled life and be more in tune with our desires. I’m joined once again by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.  Some of the specific topics we explore include: How can we have a healthier relationship with our own sexual pleasure? How do we make pleasure a priority in everyday life? What are some practical ways to reawaken sexual desire? How can we begin to identify what we really do and don’t want when it comes to sex? How can we get better at both saying “no” and hearing “no” in the bedroom? You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Who are you as a sexual person? In today’s show, we’re going to help you answer this question by introducing you to the concept of holistic sexuality, which is different from the way that most of us have been taught to think about sex. We’re going to dive into some of the key facets of holistic sexuality that are crucial to know for both self-understanding and for building up your sexual agency. I’m joined by Dr. Juliana Hauser, a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed professional counselor. In addition to running a successful virtual private practice, Dr. Juliana is a nationally known sex expert whose work has appeared all over in the media. Her latest book is A New Position on Sex: A Guide to Greater Sexual Confidence, Pleasure, and Authenticity.  Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are the benefits of looking at sex more holistically? Why is the idea of “sensuality” so crucial to our sexuality? How do we begin to awake our sensuality to learn more about our own sexual style? What is the importance of really understanding our own bodies when it comes to enhancing sexual wellbeing? What are some ways to get more comfortable with our own bodies? You can visit Juliana’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

A lot of people think that sex is just easy for men. But it’s not. A heck of a lot of guys are walking around with sexual anxiety and are worried about their body and/or performance. This can eat away at men’s confidence, leading them to avoid sex, or to have sex that’s less than pleasurable. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how to build confidence in the bedroom and bust some common myths about male sexuality. I’m joined once again by Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine. He is a Sexual Health Advisor to Astroglide Lubricants, and one of the co-founders of the sexual wellness brand Popstar, which creates science-backed products to support male sexual health and pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What does it really men to be “sexually confident?” How do popular myths about male sexuality inhibit men’s confidence in the bedroom? Is more testosterone really the key to more confidence? What can men do if they want to increase their sexual stamina? When should you see a professional about sexual performance concerns? You can visit Joshua’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Surveys find that nearly half of men are dissatisfied with their penis size and wish they were larger. So let’s dive into the world of penile augmentation. In this episode, we’re going to talk about the various treatments that exist, which ones are supported by the science, the potential risks and side effects, and what you really need to know if you have penis size concerns. I’m joined by Dr. Joshua Gonzalez, a board-certified urologist who is fellowship-trained in Sexual Medicine. He is a Sexual Health Advisor to Astroglide Lubricants, and one of the co-founders of the sexual wellness brand Popstar, which creates science-backed products to support male sexual health and pleasure. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is the average penis size anyway? Can stretching make your penis bigger? Do penis pumps work to increase size? Are surgeries to enhance penis size worth the risks? Are there any pills or medications that can make your penis larger? You can visit Joshua’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/lehmiller-sept Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

BDSM practitioners have mastered skills that many of us struggle with every day, including honest communication, clear boundaries, deep trust, and the courage to be vulnerable. In this episode, we’re exploring what we can learn from kinky folks about leading happier lives, both in and out of the bedroom. I am joined once again by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected Lessons for Building a Happier Life. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How does BDSM offer a way for people to explore their creative side? What can we learn from BDSM practitioners about vulnerability and intimacy? How can BDSM allow us to explore pleasure beyond traditional sexual scripts? What can we learn from kinky folks about having realistic expectations in the bedroom? You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Is kink just about whips and chains? Is it always about sex? Is everyone who’s into kink working through some type of trauma? In today’s show, we’re diving into the science of BDSM and debunking common myths about it. We’ll unpack what kink really looks like in practice, how consent and trust are at its core, and what it is that really draws people to BDSM in the first place. I am joined by Alicia Walker and Arielle Kuperberg. Alicia is an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University and the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife as well as Chasing Masculinity: Men, Validation, and Infidelity. Arielle is an associate professor of sociology at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. Together, they are co-authors of the new book Bound by BDSM: Unexpected lessons for building a happier life. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What are some of the biggest things people get wrong about kink and BDSM? What might people get out of BDSM besides (or in addition to) sexual fulfillment? How do people typically find their way into BDSM? What’s the role of community in BDSM? Why is kink more prevalent in among LGBTQ+ persons? You can click here to order Alicia and Arielle’s new book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance down there and increase lubrication. Visit soakingwet.com and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The sex education we have in the United States today isn’t really working. And, unfortunately, it’s only set to get worse as a growing number of states are pushing to restrict what students can learn in these classes. So in today’s show, we’re going to talk about why it has been so difficult to make sex ed better and what we can actually do to change it. I’m joined once again by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many US states today require that students receive sex education? Why don’t we have a federal mandate for sex ed in the US? What can we do to improve sex ed in our own communities? What can we learn from other countries that are getting sex ed right? Why do we need to stop thinking about sex education as a one-time talk or course? You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her book. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please r

Sex education is highly controversial. Last year alone, 27 US states introduced bills aimed at restricting sex ed! However, this fight over what sex ed should cover (and whether it should even be taught at all) is nothing new. We’ve been having the same fights about sex ed for over a century, and that’s a big part of the reason why modern sex education still sucks. I’m joined today by Margaret Grace Myers, a writer, researcher, educator, and former bookseller based in Maine. She is the author of the new book The Fight For Sex Ed: The Century Long Battle Between Truth and Doctrine. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Why do we keep having the same arguments about sex ed? What really holding sex education back? How did abstinence become such a dominant part of sex education in the US? Does abstinence education actually work as intended? Why is it so hard to access comprehensive sex education when it’s what most parents say they want? You can check out Margaret’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Why are some people straight while others are gay or bisexual? What determines our sexual orientation anyway? Today, we’re going to be diving into what we’ve learned about the biological origins of our sexuality from decades of scientific research. As you’ll see, there’s not a simple and easy story—it doesn’t boil down to something like a “gay gene.” It’s way more complex than that! I am joined once again by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Is same-sex attraction genetic? How can two people who share 100% of the same DNA have different sexual orientations? When researchers are studying sexual orientation, should they be looking at attraction, identity, behavior, or all of the above? Why is having more older brothers linked to greater odds of homosexuality in men? What other biological factors are associated with sexual orientation? You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Are human beings made for monogamy or non-monogamy? This is a popular subject of debate. While some argue that humans evolved for monogamy in order to ensure parental investment in our offspring, others argue that humans evolved to be non-monogamous because it increases the odds of reproductive success and genetic diversity in our species. So which is it? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I am joined by Nathan Lents, a Professor of Biology at John Jay College, where he is the director of the Cell and Molecular Biology program. His research lab studies human genetic evolution and forensic DNA technology. He also writes popular science articles and is the author of the new book The Sexual Evolution: How 500 Millions Years of Sex, Gender, and Mating Shape Modern Relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What’s the difference between social monogamy and sexual monogamy? How common are social and sexual monogamy in both humans and animals, and how often do they overlap? Can research on other primates shed light on how human mating strategies evolved? Can someone’s brain chemistry predispose them to being monogamous or non-monogamous? You can check out Nathan’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, volume, and overall health of your semen. If you want to elevate your sexual performance, check out Load Boost from VB Health. Visit loadboost.com to learn more and save 10% with code JUSTIN. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Erectile dysfunction is one of the most common sexual difficulties that men encounter, and it can be very distressing. But while ED is highly treatable, we really need to understand what causes it in the first place in order to treat it most effectively. In today’s show, we’re going to explore some of the psychological reasons why it occurs, including how early attachment wounds can manifest as erectile difficulties later in life. I am joined once again by Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: Does porn cause erectile difficulties? How can insecure relationship dynamics play a role in erectile difficulties? How does early attachment trauma affect sexual function during adulthood? Where does performance pressure come from and how does it affect erectile function? What are some of the benefits of sex therapy for ED? You can check out Nazanin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Be sure to register for the Sex and Aging Symposium, which will take place on October 4, 2025. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In long-term relationships, almost everyone will go through a sexual dry spell at some point. This is normal, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something fundamentally wrong with you or your relationship. However, the good news is that there’s a lot you can do to break the dry spell and get your intimate life back on track. Today, we’re going to explore the reasons why sex often disappears in relationships, and what you can do about it. I am joined by Dr. Nazanin Moali, a licensed clinical psychologist, AASECT-certified sex therapist, and the host of the internationally acclaimed Sexology Podcast. Based in Los Angeles, she leads a successful private practice where she helps individuals and couples deepen emotional intimacy, overcome sexual challenges, and create more fulfilling relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many people are in sexless relationships? What questions should we be asking when we find ourselves in a sexual dry spell? How can you bring erotic tension back into your relationship? What are ways to bring a sense of mystery and play back into sex? How can we reinvent our date nights in a way that’s going to cultivate more erotic energy and excitement? You can check out Nazanin’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using LEHMILLER as the coupon code. To redeem this offer, visit: https://beducate.me/hot-summer  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

As many as 1 in 5 adults have visited an erotic camsite. However, the appeal of these sites goes far beyond sexual gratification. A new study of camsite users finds that they are often looking for emotional connection and fulfillment, too. But are they actually finding it? In today’s show, we’re diving into the data and exploring whether intimacy is really an experience that can be commodified. I’m joined once again by Ellen Kaufman, a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How is a camsite different from a traditional porn site? Who are the primary visitors of camsites? To what extent do users feel emotional bonds with cam models? Can we develop authentic intimacy in a transactional setting? You can check out the website for the VIBES research team to learn more about Ellen’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  A bad mattress can ruin your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost.  Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Everyone is talking about how artificial intelligence (AI) is going to fundamentally change almost every aspect of our lives, and that includes our intimate lives. So in today’s show, we’re going to explore the impact that AI is already having on the world of dating and relationships and whether it’s helping or hurting our chances of finding lasting love. I am joined by Ellen Kaufman, a Senior Research Associate at the Kinsey Institute. Her research focuses on the intersection of sexuality and technology, exploring how our relationships and overall sexual and emotional wellbeing are shaped by new modalities of connection. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How many singles are currently using AI to boost their dating odds? In what ways are people using AI to help them date? Is AI going to ruin dating or make it better? How many people have sought an AI romantic companion? What’s the appeal of an AI companion? Can AI actually provide emotional fulfillment? You can check out the website for the VIBES research team to learn more about Ellen’s work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost by VB Health. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. A bad mattress can be bad for your intimate life. If you want to upgrade your sleep, check out Brooklyn Bedding, where you can try a 120-night comfort trial. Go to brooklynbedding.com and use my promo code JUSTIN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide.  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.