DiscoverSex for Saints
Sex for Saints
Author: Amanda Louder
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© 2024 Amanda Louder Coaching
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As a Certified Sex & Marriage Coach, and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Amanda Louder helps conservative Christian women love their sex life!
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
In this podcast, Amanda helps women embrace their sexuality so that they can become the woman they were created to be. She teaches you how to integrate sexuality into your marriage in a loving and healthy way, get rid of the drama and negative emotions around sex in your marriage, and develop a better relationship to yourself, your spouse, and your sexuality.
349 Episodes
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In this episode, I am going to explore the topic of Sexual Surrender. What does it mean to fully open up, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally with your spouse? Let’s talk about what sexual surrender is, what it isn’t, why it matters, and how you can gently encourage it within your marriage. It may sound intimidating at first, but it can be a doorway to a richer, more meaningful intimate relationship with your spouse.
As with most things, introverts and extroverts approach sex differently. Where introverts often prefer to have time to prepare, extroverts love spontaneity. So when an extrovert marries an introvert, there can often be hurt feelings and frustration with their sexual relationship. Let’s talk about the differences with introverts and extroverts when it comes to sex, and how to navigate that relationship. Marriage isn’t about changing each other, but coming to understand each person’s needs. This is a great place to start.
We, as humans, are wired for connection, but connection, especially in marriage, is more than just a feeling. It’s the thing that keeps us going through the inevitable ups and downs of marriage. Connection is what keeps us from “living separate lives.” We often crave more connection, but we don’t know how to get it. That’s why in this episode, we’re going to talk about why we need connection in our relationships and how to build that connection in different ways. You’ll come away with actionable steps to get that connection you desire.
Creating a collaborative sexual relationship is so important to your marriage. Collaboration is different from compromise where it’s not just about teamwork, or giving in, but about a mutual commitment to creating a relationship that meets both partner’s needs. The rewards of a collaborative sexual relationship are profound! When both partners participate in building a space that respects and uplifts one another, it strengthens the bond, increases the satisfaction, and deepens emotional intimacy. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what a collaborative sexual relationship is, why it’s valuable, how it differs from compromise, and as always, I’ll share practical tips to foster collaboration in your marriage.
Do you find yourself worrying more about your partner during your sexual experience than you do yourself? When we feel overly responsible for other’s emotional or physical experience during sex, we can be affecting our relationship in a negative way. This dynamic is called sexual caretaking. We are taught, directly or indirectly, that we are responsible for their experience. This is not true. In this episode, we’re talking about what sexual caretaking is, where it comes from, the impact it has on our relationships, and how we can shift this dynamic to create something healthier and more fulfilling for both partners.
In this episode, we are going to address a topic that so many struggle with but often don’t talk about: sexual shame. Many carry the burden of sexual shame and it can impact our view of ourselves and our connection with our spouse. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling like something is wrong with you for having sexual thoughts, or if you’ve hidden aspects of your sexuality out of fear or guilt, this episode is for you.
Do you know the #1 thing that people google to get to my website? “I’m not attracted to my spouse.” Relationships are a complex thing and it’s natural to have an ebb and flow. Even though we don’t talk about it much, losing attraction or falling out of love with your spouse is a common experience. But it can feel very scary if you’re starting to feel that way. Don’t panic. It doesn't mean that this is the end of your marriage. Listen into this episode where we’ll talk about why this might happen and also what to do if it does. I’ll give you practical tips to work on to get back what you once had. Are you ready? Let’s go!
Thanksgiving is a natural time to talk about what we’re grateful for, but we often forget to include our sexual relationship on that list. Gratitude is such a powerful force within relationships, and its influence can transform our sexual relationship into the one we’ve always dreamed of! When we actively choose to be grateful for our partner, it opens up space for deeper connection, empathy, and emotional closeness—all of which play an important role in our sexual satisfaction. In this episode, we’re going to talk about how we can bring more gratitude into our sexual relationships. I’ve done the research so let’s talk about the practical ways we can do this. And remember, gratitude is something we can do all year long, not just at Thanksgiving.
Desire is a topic that comes up a lot in my coaching business. Couples often wonder why she's just not in the mood so in this episode, we're going to talk about 4 possible reasons why. While this isn't a complete list, these are the reasons I hear most often. So listen in to not only find out why she's just not in the mood but also what you can do about it.
Have you ever felt like your sex life is stuck in a predictable, comfortable routine? It’s not unusual to feel this way but how do you get out of it? Let me answer that question and more in this episode. We will talk about a concept called “Sexual Leftovers,” those things that feel safe and not too scary in the bedroom, instead of the intimate connection that you want sex to be. And we will talk about how to address those underlying anxieties that keep you and your partner from enjoying your sex life to the fullest. There is no need to be stagnant. You can reignite that spark!
What is aftercare? Well, to put it simply, it’s what happens after you have sex. Do you jump right up and go on with your day or do you take some time to cuddle? Aftercare plays such a significant role in building and sustaining intimacy in a relationship. That’s why I want to talk about it in this episode. Why is aftercare so important and how to introduce it if it’s not already a part of your sexual routine. Let’s really break this down and talk about how aftercare impacts relationships at a deep level.
Are you bad in bed? Is your spouse? Being “bad in bed” isn’t a thing that should cause shame or anger but it is something that needs to be looked at more. And it usually starts outside the bedroom. In this episode, we’re going to talk about what it means to be “bad in bed” and what to do about it if you recognize yourself or your spouse in the list. With my normal honest and forthright style, I’ll give you exactly what to say and do to no longer be “bad in bed.”
Even though this topic can feel a little awkward, frustrating, and even scary, I think it’s important to talk about because all couples will probably have this happen from time to time in their sex lives. So, the question is, what happens when men lose their erections during sex? In this episode, we’re breaking down why this happens, what to do when it does, and how to support each other through it. Let’s look at this from the men’s and women’s perspective so that you can have a better understanding of what is going on and how to react when it does happen.
Is it time to ditch your pajamas? This topic may make you blush, but let’s talk about why we might want to think about sleeping nude or partially nude. From the benefits, challenges, and health advantages, to how to introduce it to your partner, we’ll talk about the surprising impact it could have on your relationship. So, sit back, get comfortable, and let’s talk.
Let’s be honest, most of us were not taught what to do when our arousal was unanswered. So, let’s talk about it. What happens when we’re turned on, but our spouse declines? How do we channel that energy into something productive and healthy? And, how do we teach our children to understand unanswered arousal? We’ll talk about all of this and more in this episode. Are you ready for real change? Let’s go!
What is an archetype? In very simple terms, it’s a “should”. As the man, I “should” be the primary breadwinner. As the woman, I “should” cater to my husband’s sexual needs. But, are these “should’s”, these archetypes, really who you are deep down inside? In this episode, we’re going to talk about relationship and sexual archetypes. We’ll identify them, discuss how they’re shaped, and the benefits and problems they bring. Finally, we’ll talk about why it’s crucial to break free from them. Society has long-standing traditions and norms that dictate what roles men and women “should” play. You see it everywhere. With my step-by-step guide, you can break free from these archetypes and find what you actually want to do, not what you “should” do.
I often see people wanting to uplevel their sex lives, but ignoring non-sexual touch completely. But, non-sexual physical intimacy is just as important, if not more important than sexual intimacy. In this episode, we’re going to talk about touch and how important it is to our relationships. Let’s talk about why touch is so important, the difference between intimate and sexual touch, how to navigate touch when partners have different needs or feel overwhelmed, and ways to build a culture of touch and pleasure in your relationship. Don’t be so focused on how to have great sex that you forget about the daily intimacies of touch; the hugs, the kisses, the embraces, the handholding, the importance of touch as a love language and also as a form of foreplay and making love itself. So, what is your touch communicating? Let’s find out.
I recently got a DM from a listener asking me how to navigate her sexual relationship with teens in the house. We often think that little kids make it harder to have sex, but sometimes teenagers are even harder. They have crazier schedules, they stay up later, and they have more knowledge about what’s going on in the bedroom. So, in this episode, I want to talk to those mid-life couples who have teenagers and young adults at home, but who want to find ways to have a great sex life too. Listen in as I explain to you how to navigate this season.
I recently had the opportunity to be a guest on the Therapy Brothers Podcast. I talked with Tyler and Brannon about the difference between consumption and connection. I really enjoyed our conversation and the insights that were shared and wanted to share those things with you. So, here is my conversation with Tyler and Brannon of the Therapy Brothers Podcast.
What if I told you that the way you have been thinking about sex is wrong? What if that’s the reason you don’t have the sex life that you thought you’d have? I know that your intentions are good. I know that you know that sex is good for your marriage, but maybe it’s the way that you look at sex that is affecting your relationship. In this episode, I want to talk about a different way to approach sex in your marriage; a more mindful approach that fosters authenticity, self-expression, and love, intimacy, and connection. Let’s go!
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BS. This is why there is confusion in our entire health model. Experts keep changing the definitions. Unless the goal happens to be to become a expert via perpetual confusion. A good expert would call BS on other experts whom love to change the definitions.
such a fascinating topic! loved this.
I used to enjoy this podcast, and one of the episodes started a conversation with me and my husband that was needed. But something she said really bothered me. She said the church "retracted" a stance on something which APPEARED to be true because it wasn't in the place it used to be. But I knew it was somewhere. And after months of searching in the wrong places, I found it in the right place. They had moved the guideline and stance from the FSY booklet to the Parent's Guide. In other words, Amanda didn't research enough and said something as a fact when it was only an assumption. She's preaching advising something is okay with her church when it isn't. Several podcasts after seem to deviate from that core religious belief. She can believe what she chooses, but to twist what a religious organization has said and state it as a fact instead of an opinion proves she is sharing the "philosophy of man mingled with scripture" and I no longer feel comfortable listening to her. Episode 139, by
I love listening to your podcasts, and this episode, aka "therapy session" episode, was exactly what I needed to hear right now. Yet, forgiving my husband and moving on has been so hard for me! what would you recommend for me who's struggling? I need to call you...
I love that you say to drop the manual. Every time I have ended a friendship it seemed that one of us wasn't holding up our end of the friendship agreement. Great content!