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Shades of Strong | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative
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Shades of Strong | Shifting the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Author: Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate

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Shades of Strong Podcast, formerly known as Get Naked LIVE, is not your regular shmegular podcast. We exist to engage in meaningful dialogue about ALL THE THINGS that shape, make and often break the STRONG BLACK WOMAN. We are committed to showing the Strong Black Woman how to honor her full range of emotions, including vulnerability, while exercising self-care, and not being afraid to get the support she needs when she needs it.
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Stop Being Racist About My Black HairIt's a sad day when a law has to be put in place for black people to wear the hair that actually grows out of their scalp and style it the way they want.  Tune in now to hear J-Marie's and my perspective on why "others" don't want us in their work spaces with our hair.  And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Rape Culture Within The Culture | The Silent Cries of Strong Black Girls Disclaimer:  This episode is about sexual violence and may be a trigger for some.  Please proceed with caution. Rape culture is not a group of people who are actively or openly promoting rape -- that's not to imply that that kind of thing doesn't happen, but what we're talking about in this episode is every day cultural practices  in which sexual violence is treated as the norm and victims are blamed for their own assault and how "the culture" contributes to this kind of behavior. Some of the  practices/behavior we talked about in this episode are: "What happens in this house stays in this house" Telling women that they we're dressed inappropriately   Victim blaming Not having conversations with our sons (at a  young age) about their responsibility for how they treat women Giving the penis and vagina "cute" names  Publicly defending celebrities while accusing victims of wanting to destroy their careers No means no even within the confines of a relationship S and M/Sexual fantasiesListed below are some resources for anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence &/or for those who need help having the tough conversations and asking the hard questions.OrganizationPhone NumberDescriptionStop It Now!1-888-PREVENT (773-8368)Educational resource on watching for signs of child abuse, what to do if you suspect it, and ways to report itNew Hope Now714-NEW-HOPE (639-4673)Christian based counseling servicesRAINN1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Immediate crisis help and information about recovery and prosecution from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National NetworkSafe Horizon1-866-621-HOPE (4673)24 hour hotline for many kinds of abuseKristin Brooks Hope Center1-800-SUICIDENon-profit with focus on suicide counseling and awarenessCovenant House1-800-999-9999Free and confidential counseling, available 4:00pm-8:00pm, 7 days a weekSuicide Prevention Hotline1-800-273-TALK (8255)National suicide prevention lifelineChildhelp1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453)National child abuse hotlineThis episode is one of many conversations we need to normalize in  African American familes.  Our Children's lives depend on it. Tune in now to see how you can your family's dynamic by being bold enough, courageous to have the hard conversations. And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Can we PLEASE stop apologizing for our blackness? It's no secret that black women have been called every label under the sun -- bitter, angry, too emotional, not emotional enough... ...and the list goes on. Well, Natty and I are no longer ashamed to say that we have been AND sometimes still are ALL THE THINGS they call us and we're not apologizing for any of it. In this week's episode of Shades of Strong we're embracing our blackness by taking all the negative and harsh things they call us when they see us and turning them in to the goodness that is BLACK GIRL MAGIC!Why?  Because there is so much uniqueness in the blackness that is us and contrary to popular belief aka white America,  our blackness is what makes us human.Our blackness is what makes us great!Our culture is wrapped up and tied up in the beauty of our blackness -- from the crown of heads to the tops of our feet, our blackness is who we are!So, what are you waiting for? Tune in now to see how we make magic by embracing what they call us when they see us.And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to  Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Clarke Sanders on Unsplash Feeling stuck is scary and uncomfortable... It often comes when we're fighting against what we feel we've been born to do or when we're fighting desperately to play a role that has been forced upon us.In this episode Natty and I talk about some of the habits that keep black women feeling stuck using the Le’Andria Johnson story as a point of reference. It is painfully obvious in Le'Andria's story that feeling stuck is common among women, specifically African American women, for at least one of the reasons below:1. We fear breaking the “rules” (inflicted on them by others)2. We sacrifice our happiness for the happiness of others3. We allow others to silence us into submission4. They allow others to limit their potential5. We're afraid to reinvent ourselves6. We see vulnerability as a weaknessAnd don't forget to hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!  SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them We Love Our Black Men -- Sometimes to Our Own DetrimentWhen we're newly coupled up, everything looks like pink tulips and butterflies -- we spend our days daydreaming about him and the relationship through a pair of proverbial rose-colored glasses. But as soon as the newness wears off, ish gets real and everything in us is SCREAMING... GET OUT!!!But for whatever reason, we find ourselves stuck justifying why we stay and why we continue to accept the behavior that we're reluctant to call abuse.Those on the outside looking in could easily say that being "trapped" in a relationship is a state of mind, because surely no one needs consent to leave a relationship, right?Natty and I beg to differ.  There are countless women walking the face of the earth everyday going through their daily routines laughing and smiling, while being STUCK in unhealthy relationships that range from alienation of affection to literally fighting to stay alive.The reasons for staying vary from one woman to the next, but in this episode we cover the TOP FIVE REASONS why we often find ourselves trapped in unhealthy relationships. In no particular order those reasons are as follows:1. Our PERCEPTION of what constitutes abuse.  2. LOYALTY– as Black people, we don’t always feel comfortable surrendering “our own” to the treatment of a racially biased police state and as women, we don’t always feel safe calling police officers who may harm us instead of helping us. AND when we do speak out or seek help, we too often experience backlash from members of our own communities who believe we are airing out dirty laundry and making ourselves look bad in front of white people.3. SPIRITUAL BELIEFS -- we are more likely to rely on religious guidance and faith-based practices – Religious beliefs often discourage divorce, instead encourage forgiveness and often condemns those who dare to get out.4. Our attempts to embody the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN" STEREOTYPE– how we see ourselves5. SAVING FACE  – guilt, shame and fearThis episode is for every black woman who has been guilted into silence, for every black woman who's looking for a way out and for every black woman who finally got the courage to take her life back from the unhealthy relationship that stole it from her. YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEENS ARE THE G.O.A.T! Tune in  NOW and be sure to share this episode with someone  you know who needs it; and be sure to grab the guide: Trapped in a Bad Relationship | Recognizing the Signs and How to Safely Get Out And don't forget to hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!  SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them To be Strong, Black and Woman Struggling with Mental Health Issues...We can't pray it away, we can't sleep it away, we can't choose it away. We need support too. Tarij P Henson, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lewis, Lisa Nicole Carson, Fantasia, Audra McDonad, Halley Berry, Serena Williams, Macy Gray...What do these African American women have in common?  They've all been very open with there struggle with mental health issues.  You know what else they have in common?  We all celebrated and uplifted them when they announced their struggles with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc...So why is when "regular, everyday" women like Natalyn, Jasmin, Diathe and myself are open with our struggles, we're told to pray it away?Exxxactly! That was just one of the things we covered in this episode, and boy was it powerful!!This episode features guest co-hosts Diathe Garne and Jasmin Pierre, both strong advocates and professionals for mental health in the African American community.  They joined us behind the mic as we worked to bring clarity to:  The difference in being a black woman who is strong and a STRONG BLACK WOMAN The pros and cons of each – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally The societal and religious pressure of being a strong black woman Suggestions on how we can shift the strong black woman narrative while protecting and prioritize our mental health Everybody in the room was more than happy share their personal experiences on how being a Strong Black Woman has often put her in a place of brokenness, how the church has directly or indirectly contributed to that brokenness and what it took for each of us to get our healing in world that often frowns on therapy and dismisses mental health issues in the African American community. Needless to say, it got really heavy and raw. Seriously, no stone was left un-turned in this episode.Do yourself a favor and don't sleep on this conversation.  Tune in  NOW and then hop over to  and Shades of Strong and leave us message telling us what you thought about the episode.ORHead on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!! ANDBe sure to check out The Safe Place App available in the app store for IPhone and Android.  The Safe Place is a minority mental health app created by Jasmin Pierre to raise mental health awareness in the black community and serves as a great resource for African American individuals considering therapy, but don't know where to start.SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how to do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Cred: Alvin Balemesa on Unsplash Black Girl Magic –the phrase coined to celebrate the beauty, power and resilience that is the Black WomanAs much as I love the Black Girl Magic that is me and every other Strong Black Woman who graces the earth with her presence, I can honestly say that I don’t always honor and respect her; and I'm sure there are many others walking around  [in shoes just as cute as mine] singing the same song. Correct me if I'm wrong, but here's how a typical day goes for you... √  You roll out of bed every morning wake the kids, √ get them ready for school √  get yourself ready for work√ work eight hours and if you’re lucky enough NOT to have errands to run, grab some lunch somewhere in between√ head home, prepare dinner√  help the kiddos with homework√  get them ready for bed√ get yourself ready√  and say a quick prayer for strength just so you can do it all over again tomorrowI see you hesitantly nodding your head, yes.  Girl!! You DO NOT need to be ashamed. There's no judgment here, but....Can I ask you a few quick questions for market research?But for real though...Where was the me time?Where was the self-care? oh my bad! That's reserved for Saturdays, right?Where is the protection of that Black Girl Magic you're always hashtagging about?Hmmmm....Let me help you get some act right quick, fast and in a hurry because you are running yourself ragged and slowly quenching the FIRE that is the Black Girl Magic!If you really want to celebrate the beauty, power, resilience and MAGIC that is the Black Woman, don't hashtag about it!  BE ABOUT IT! You see, Black Girl Magic is not only about affirming our beauty and intellectual capacity. It's about unapologetically protecting and celebrating every fiber of who we are -- mentally, spiritually, and emotionally; and Natty and I are here to help you get your life ALL THE WAY together.In this episode we chat it up about:√  How to honor your feelings without waddling in the "feels"√  How to ask for what you need and give yourself permission to receive it√  How to unapologetically demand respect for your emotional space√  How to get your "NO" game up when everything in you wants to say yes√  How to STOP saying you're good, when you're not We also share our own personal stories of what it took for us to honor and protect our Black Girl Magic spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally while still being available for those who lean and depend on us. Tune in  NOW and AND  after you've gotten your Shades of Strong  fix , head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.   If you're tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!! SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEWIf you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to.Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSS
Photo Credit:  Ricaldo Donaldson from Pexels"Black women ain't out here angry for nothing!"Ife Madzimoyo hit the nail on head with this one.  As a matter of fact (in my honest opinion), no truer words have ever been spoken. So, Natty and I invited the Queen of emotional wellness [for black women] to join us at the table to see if together we could shed some light on why black women are so angry....and boy did we!  Y'all know how Iyanla Vanzant is always saying "call a thing a thing"?  Oh! My Gosh!  We did that!  We unpacked so much goodness in this one episode and there's still so much more to unpack.  ... and it all started with one ("LOADED") question,"When you hear the words, angry black woman what's the first thing that comes to mind?"The responses ranged from "a very flippant way of attempting to control someone"  to "extremely dismissive". But that doesn't even scratch the surface of just how deep this conversation goes.We talked about the internal (how we may have inadvertently taken on the title of the angry black woman ourselves), as well as the external label (how this label has been placed on us by the white/eurocentric, dominant culture). We then went on to chat it up about internalized oppression, our ancestors and how they expressed or didn't express anger (or any emotion), and how that contributes to how we express our emotions.And if that wasn't enough, we went there with how the "we are not our ancestors" memes are completely disrespectful to those who fought with valor, as well as to those who often remained silent in the name of survival.  We then wrapped it all up with how we can support each other physically, spiritually and emotionally while building and growing together.Seriously, this conversation could have gone on for days and we still wouldn't have unpacked everything.  Check it now and AND when we're you're finished, hop on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation.  Happy listening!!  SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you found this episode valuable, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.  Not sure how do that?  Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSSWant to join the conversation? Friend me on Facebook or hop on over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Page and share your thoughts in the comments of this week's episode.
How Enough Am I?

How Enough Am I?

2019-03-1500:00:54

Here's a short poem written and recited by Natalyn Bradshaw reaffirming and validating you. Download it and click play whenever you need reassurance of how just magical you are.
Photo Credit:  Clarke Sanders on Unsplash Being a Strong Black Woman often means giving up your rightto just be (whomever you are) because...They tell you to take risks – take lots of them. Then question you when you do.They imply that you need to be everything to everybody.They tell you not to settle for mediocrity – fight for the life you want.But no one tells you how to do any of those things. There’s no rule book or guide.So, you stumble. You fall flat on your face. And now you’re trying to figure out how to soar.You’re fighting with everything in you – not being easily intimidated.Not letting society, religion, the man walk all over you.You boldly speak up against unfairness and injustices in your personal and business life.You have the audacity, the unmitigated gall to sit at the table where you’ve rightfully earned your seat.You even dared to build your own table – building your own empire and ruling as THE QUEEN within its walls.You fight!  You push!  You refuse to be silenced! You stand in your truth. You refuse to allow anyone to control your narrative.You proudly adorn yourself with your superwoman cape and eagerly place a S on your chest.And just when you’re feeling like all is right in your world, you find yourself on the wrong side of being a strong black woman.Suddenly, you’ve been labeled bitter, angry, emotional, unemotional, aggressive, too independent, not independent enough and the list goes on.Black men don’t want to date you.  White men don’t want to hire you. Your health is failing -- mentally, physically and emotionally.  You have no idea how to process any of these experiences.So, now here you are – ready to renounce your strength by boldly declaring,  “I’m not a strong black woman.  I’m just a woman.” Welp!  Natty and I are here to help change all of that because you are NOT just a woman! You are innately strong, innately black, innately woman and it's time to STOP apologizing for that.Tune in NOW to hear our thoughts on the cost of being a strong black woman and how you can stand in your truth without apologizing for your strong black womaness, AND we're you're finished, hop on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or Instagram @shadesofstrong and join the conversation with the hashtag #mystrongis SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you found this episode valuable, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast: Click here to subscribe via Google Podcasts Click here to subscribe via Stitcher   Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via Spotify Click here to subscribe via e-mail Click here to subscribe via RSSWant to join the conversation? Friend me on Facebook or hop on over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Page and share your thoughts in the comments of this week's episode.
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