Claim OwnershipHonor Your Spark
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© Copyright Valerie Martin
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If you're a high-achiever who wants your ambition to extend beyond your professional goals and into your wellbeing and relationships— you're in the right place. I'm Valerie Martin, a Certified High Performance Coach and therapist of 12 years, and I'm obsessed with teaching and coaching folks how to cultivate Compassionate Self-Discipline. We ALL have a spark alive within us— no matter how small or dim it might feel right now. And it is our greatest purpose and greatest RESPONSIBILITY to honor it.Because when we do, we become better partners, friends, leaders, parents, creators, and family members in the interconnected web of this wild, dark, miraculous, beautiful world. 💞
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As the Honor Your Spark theme music fades out, a wave of bittersweet emotions washes over me. It's time for a change. In this episode, I'm sharing with you about a big decision I've made related to my coaching business— which includes the podcast is going on indefinite pause. This final (for now, at least) episode is all about finding the wins—especially the lessons— IN the losses, and how to know when it’s time to let something we love go... even if we've put a heck of a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and DOLLARS into it.
You’ve probably heard someone in your life say something like this (or perhaps had the thought yourself): “How is it that EVERYONE all the sudden has ADHD and autism?!” Weellll that’s not exactly any more true than saying there’s “all the sudden” a bunch of trans people around, when really they’ve always been there— just more closeted since their reality was not as affirmed as it now is. (Of course we still have a very long way to go with even making the world SAFE for trans folks, let alone affirming.)
n a world that often feels disorienting with its speed and complexity, finding our true selves can sometimes seem like a search for a needle in a vast, shifting haystack. This quest for personal identity and authenticity was the focus of a deep and insightful conversation on my podcast Honor Your Spark, where I was recently joined by existential psychotherapist, consultant, writer, and columnist Dr. Sara Kuburic, also known as the Millennial Therapist. In this conversation, we explored the intricacies of human emotions and behaviors and how existentialism (and specifically, existential therapy) can offer a unique perspective on navigating life's challenges with authenticity, courage, and responsibility.
The corporate world is not exactly known for being fair to women. Even with significant progress made in recent decades, the wage gap still has women getting paid 16% less than their male counterparts (substantially worse for women of color), and women are often passed up for promotions or higher-level positions. Remember this exchange from the Barbie movie during Ken’s visit to corporate America? Ken: You guys aren't doing patriarchy very well. Corporate Bro: We're actually doing patriarchy very well [lowers voice] Corporate Bro: ... we're just better at hiding it. So when I discovered Sam DeMase through her book A Power Mood, I knew I had to invite her on the podcast. We had a fantastic conversation about the importance of self-advocacy for women in the workplace, and how they make make more strategic moves for career advancement.
Aesthetic styles like Minimalism, Grunge, Rustic, and Boho have been in the mainstream awareness for a quite a while now— and in recent years, social media has made it possible for folks to connect around more niche aesthetics like Cottagecore, Y2K, Academia, Old Money (for real), and— one of my personal favorites— Goblincore. And similarly to Minimalism, Goblincore is not just an aesthetic, but also a lifestyle. In this episode of "Honor Your Spark," I had the privilege of diving deep into the enchanting and rebellious world of Goblincore with the brilliant McKayla Coyle, an author who not only has penned a fantastic, detailed guide to Goblincore (Goblin Mode) but also lives and breathes this inclusive and anti-capitalist lifestyle.
Navigating pivots is a necessary skill set in all areas of life— especially in our careers, whether you’re an employee or an entrepreneur. In the case of Jason Shen, who pivoted from Silicon Valley entrepreneur to Facebook employee to executive coach, resilience becomes the name of the game. In fact, in his first startup, Jason says of his team: "We didn't run out of money— we ran out of resilience." As he continued to see how critical resilience was for navigating both personal and professional pivots, he became passionate about understanding it deeply. The more he thought, learned, and researched about resilience, Jason started to understand it not just as one skill or trait, but as a set of skills that can be cultivated.
The idea of being an “activist” can feel incredibly daunting. Since not a single person can ~save the world~ even if activism is their full-time job, it doesn’t take much to start feeling that creeping sense of “Why bother?”. Omkari Williams is here to tell you why we should still bother— and how we can think of activism in a way that actually fits into our lives for the long haul.
Our modern world is paradoxical in many ways, one being this: people will spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on books, courses, coaching, and therapy to become more self-aware— and yet, our technology and pace of living can cause us to be anything BUT aware. Instead, we often find ourselves on autopilot, seldom relying on critical thinking or reflecting deeply on our internal experience
Anyone who hasn’t been through some kind of substantial hardship yet has no business being a therapist or coach. There— I said it. No, your therapist/coach doesn’t need to have gone through the same experiences you have; but if they haven’t even set foot inside the school of hard knocks, how the hell are they supposed to have the perspective to help their clients navigate suffering? In this episode of the podcast, Angela Gentile, public school teacher turned professional hypewoman and speaker, shares how her own experiences have shaped both who she is as a person and as a coach and catalyst with her clients.
It ain't my business to tell anyone how to eat or live their lives, but hey— it's my podcast, so I sure as hell am gonna tell you what I think. 😜 In all seriousness, I haven’t talked much at all about veganism or animal advocacy in the Bad Bitch Therapist world yet. In the past, I actually had a whole separate “Val the Vegan Therapist” website and vegan podcast, and while I’m still just as passionate about veganism today, I just realized that was not a thing that I wanted to do as a full-out additional brand / business.
As I was thinking about how I wanted to ring in the New Year on the podcast, a lightbulb went off— “wait a second, didn’t I find that list of New Years Resolutions I made in high school? That shit would be HILARIOUS.” So yes, in an effort to both entertain and inspire you, dear listeners, I am subjecting you in this solo episode to the wisdom of my 16-year-old self. 😂😂I had a blast reading through each of the 11 items on the list and sharing with y’all what I think of them now, 20+ years later.
People often hire a professional organizer to help declutter their homes, believing the problem lies exclusively with managing physical STUFF. Liz Jenkins, owner of the thriving organizing business A Fresh Space, knows that the relationship between physical and mental clutter is way more than drawer-deep. 🤓
The word “budget” often brings up the same connotations as the word “diet”: restriction, deprivation, punishment— basically, a total JOYKILL. On the flipside of the coin, I realized recently that I actually also had a negative connotation with the word “profit” (greedy, using people, capitalist pig, etc.)—talk about damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But it doesn’t have to be that way, right?
It’s always fascinating talking to leaders, service providers, and entrepreneurs in completely different industries and noticing how much overlap there is in the challenges and opportunities we encounter. In this episode of the pod, I’m talking with esthetician Caitlin Hart— and as a kindred spirit who is highly ambitious, she’s had to learn (like many of us, the hard way) how to adjust and recalibrate in her career to align with different seasons of her life. Caitlin’s most recent labor of love is a pair of online courses to help estheticians learn the business side of the industry that school does not prepare them for, so they can benefit from her 14 years of experience in the field.
Ok, raise your hand if you’re a fellow recovering Gifted Child 🙋♀️ Yuuup, that’s what I thought. 😜 TLDR; being “gifted” (aka let’s just proudly own it, being a fucking NERD) IS a superpower, with so many amazing ac-tu-al GIFTS. AND… like any superpower, it has its kryptonite. If high ambition goes unchecked, things can get ugly. (🎵hello, burnout, my old friend…🎵)
This episode is truly a meeting of the Bad Bitch minds. 😜When I came across Amanda Yoa after she liked one of my posts, I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between our message, vibe, and even our freaking brand colors/symbols. TBH, my first thought was— “Oh wow, our shit is so similar, and she’s been here longer than me… I wonder if she’ll think I copied her 😬…but I have never even seen her account until today!”
“It’s a rot day, bestie. Just don’t rot for like 5 days straight… it’s giving Depression Era.” If you read that and you’re like… ummm ??? — you’re not alone. 😆 THIS elder millennial (hi, it me) has officially reached a point where I have to ask for help from my resident Gen Z translator, Emerson Ryder. Emerson is on my team of amazing therapists at The Gaia Center, and she is truly a magical unicorn if I’ve ever met one. She has an uncanny ability to simultaneously throw out these foreign-to-me terms while also conveying wisdom, depth, and empathy. At every single team meeting, Emerson has us in stitches… AND she is incredibly thoughtful in how she handles even the most tender and difficult issues that come up in her client sessions.
Every single day of our lives, the world tells us who and how we should be. Damn— that’s pretty heavy, isn’t it? We get told how we should act, talk, dress, look, move, what we should and shouldn’t eat— hell, we’re even told how we’re sleeping and breathing “wrong” 😵💫… not to mention that much of this advice or “research” (much of which is empirically flawed and biased) contradicts the advice we read about the same topic the week before. Quite frankly, it’s EXHAUSTING.
Friends, you’re gonna want to grab your journal and pen for this one, because the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast is so full of gem’s it’s a g*ddamn treasure chest. Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to this week’s guest, Patrick Murphy, who has become a dear friend in the past several years AND one I have yet to meet in 3D (but it’s finally happening next month!). Patrick has SO many gifts in his own right— and then you stick us two Enneagram 7’s in a Zoom room together and it’s like a nonstop pinball game of truth pings and lightbulb moments. 💡⚡️
In the latest episode of Bad Bitch Therapist Podcast, we're diving into the realm of relationships that defy mononormativity and the Relationship Escalator. Not sure WTF any of that means? No worries— just buckle up and put on those headphones! Val here, and I’m not gonna lie— I was nervous AF jumping into this interview, because these 3 guests have hosted their own podcast, Multiamory, for almost a decade… and by this point have something like eleventy-zillion downloads. No pressure! 🫣😜
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