If you've ever walked away from a conversation cringing, overanalyzing what you said, or feeling disconnected and uncomfortable… this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals exactly what causes those awkward moments—and how to stop them for good. You’ll learn the different types of “awkward,” why it’s not actually about what you said, and how your inner narratives (not your social skills) are often the real culprit. He’ll also guide you through powerful mindset shifts that melt away social tension and help you show up more relaxed, confident, and authentic. Plus, get a sneak peek into Supremely Confident Conversation Master, Dr. Aziz’s upcoming virtual event where you’ll not only learn tools to master conversations—you’ll practice them live with others. Whether you want to stop overthinking, deepen connections, or finally feel at ease in any interaction, this episode is the first step. 🎧 Tune in now to break free from awkwardness and experience the power of showing up as the real you.-------------------------------------------------- Have you ever left a conversation feeling embarrassed, replaying every word in your head, thinking, “Ugh, that was so awkward”? You’re not alone. Awkward conversations are painful—not just in the moment, but in the aftermath, haunting you long after the words have been said. But what if I told you that “awkward” doesn’t actually exist in the way you think it does? Redefining Awkward: It’s Not What You Think Most people use the word “awkward” as if it’s a tangible thing, like a chair or a water bottle sitting in the room. “It was awkward,” they say. But here’s the truth: awkward isn’t real. What you’re actually feeling is discomfort—anxiety, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. And the other person? They probably didn’t notice a thing. When you start labeling your interactions as awkward, you amplify your inner anxiety. Suddenly, the focus isn’t on connecting—it’s on whether you’re performing correctly, saying the “right” thing, or being judged. That’s when social anxiety takes over, and the moment you could enjoy becomes a moment you dread. Three Ways to End Awkwardness 1. Notice Your Inner Critic Much of what makes a conversation feel awkward comes from inside. That voice telling you, “They’re judging you” or “You shouldn’t say that” hijacks your focus. Begin by observing this voice without judgment—it’s separate from you. Awareness is the first step to quieting it. 2. Focus on the Interaction, Not the Outcome Awkwardness often emerges from attachment to a specific result. You want someone to like you, or to agree with you, or to be impressed. Shift your attention from what you want to happen to what’s happening in the conversation. When you engage without needing to control the outcome, the interaction naturally becomes more relaxed and authentic. 3. Build Real Connection Skills Being comfortable in conversation isn’t about memorizing lines or following a rigid formula. It’s about developing presence, confidence, and the ability to relax into the moment. When you feel grounded and self-assured, the words will come naturally. You don’t need to be perfect—you need to be human and fully present. Awkward Is Optional The good news? You can learn to experience conversations without that inner turmoil. By redefining what awkward really is, understanding the source of your discomfort, and practicing presence over performance, you can transform every social interaction into an opportunity for connection, clarity, and confidence. So next time you step into a conversation, remember: awkward isn’t real. Anxiety is just a feeling, and it doesn’t define your interactions. You can walk away from every exchange feeling lighter, freer, and more connected than ever before. You have the power to end awkwardness—and embrace conversations that are genuinely enjoyable. Start today. Your confidence—and your connections—will thank you.
Welcome to this week’s episode, where we dive into one of the biggest emotional traps that keeps people stuck—guilt. Whether it's around setting boundaries, saying no, or just doing what you want, guilt can silently run your life. We’ll break down what actually causes guilt (hint: it’s not just someone else’s reaction), how to spot the invisible strands of the “guilt web,” and what it really means to live free from it. If you've ever felt selfish for protecting your time or space, this episode is going to shift everything. Plus, I’ll share exciting updates about the upcoming Supremely Confident Conversation Master virtual event happening October 10–12, where we’ll not only talk about this stuff—we’ll practice it live. Ready to stop feeling bad for being honest? Listen now and learn how to step out of the guilt trap—once and for all.---------------------------------- Guilt. Oh yes, guilt. It comes up in so many areas of life—relationships, work, social obligations. In fact, it’s one of the biggest obstacles to setting boundaries. Many people get stuck not because they fear conflict, but because they fear guilt—the heavy, internal tug that fires off the moment you consider saying no. But here’s the good news: you can shift this experience and navigate your interactions without getting trapped in the web of guilt. Why I Call It the “Web of Guilt” I call it a web because that’s exactly how it feels—sticky, entangling, and hard to escape. Imagine a spider web with a bug trapped in the middle. Every strand pulls, tugging the bug in multiple directions. Guilt works the same way. There are many invisible strands—often subconscious—that keep us tied to other people’s expectations, imagined or real. But just like some insects are resistant to spiderwebs, you can learn to navigate guilt without getting stuck. It’s tempting to blame the other person. You might think: “I feel guilty because I said no, and they’re upset.” Not quite. Guilt is internal. The other person’s emotions—whether upset, disappointed, or angry—don’t automatically trigger your guilt. Here’s a quick test: imagine a random stranger demands your meal at a restaurant. Most people wouldn’t feel guilty. Why? Because you don’t believe you owe them anything, and you don’t inhabit a reality where refusing is “wrong.” In real life, the people you care about matter—but guilt still comes from your interpretation of the situation, not from their feelings. How the Guilt Machinery Works You imagine the other person is hurt or upset.Even before they respond, you anticipate disappointment or anger. You step into a “bizarro reality.”In this reality, you’re responsible for all of their discomfort. Every missed expectation feels like a moral failing. The guilt fires automatically.Your mind labels you as selfish, bad, or wrong—even if your actions are fully respectful. Sound familiar? That’s why guilt can feel so inescapable—it’s a mental construct, not a reflection of reality. Healthy reality: You communicate what you want or don’t want authentically and respectfully. They may feel disappointed, but you haven’t done harm. Insano reality: You bend over backward to avoid discomfort at all costs, sacrificing your needs endlessly. Even then, disappointment may still occur. Living in the insano reality keeps you trapped in relationships, obligations, and roles you never really wanted—all fueled by guilt. Here’s an example: A friend invites you to a run that’s longer or faster than you’re comfortable with. You check in with yourself: “Do I really want to do this?” You might respond: “Saturday won’t work for me, but how about we run together Thursday instead?” Notice what happens here: You honor your own needs You communicate respectfully You offer an alternative without over-apologizing or overexplaining Guilt might still surface—but by staying anchored in your reality, you keep control and avoid the sticky strands of the web. But here’s some exciting news—very soon you’ll be able to sign up for Supremely Confident Conversation Master. The event is October 10–12, virtual, so you can join from anywhere. I’ll talk about it more next week when the link and registration are ready, but for now, just pencil the dates in—trust me, you won’t want to miss it. There’s going to be brand-new material: new ways I teach you how to feel interesting, know that you bring value to any social interaction, and gain the skills to keep conversations going without awkwardness, worry, or running out of things to say. And of course, we’ll practice these skills live in real time, just like all my events. If you’re not on my email list yet, now’s a great time to sign up—you’ll hear about the early-bird special and get first access. Guilt is internal, layered, and often imaginary. You don’t need to absorb or fix everyone else’s feelings. By practicing self-awareness, respectful communication, and boundary-setting, you can navigate social interactions guilt-free. And stay tuned—next week I’ll share more tools from Supremely Confident Conversation Master that make it easier than ever to feel confident, engaging, and in control in any conversation.
Want to speak up more confidently in meetings—whether it's a one-on-one with your boss or in front of a whole group? If you've ever stayed quiet even when you had something valuable to share, this episode is for you. We’re diving into what holds you back, how to shift the way you see yourself, and powerful tools to start showing up with boldness at work. Plus, I’ll share a special invitation to my only virtual event this year. 🎧 Hit play and let’s help you become more visible, confident, and influential in every conversation.------------------- If you struggle with speaking up in meetings, you’re not alone. Many people I work with are highly skilled, intelligent, and capable—they do great work—but when it comes to the social side of work, they retreat. They recede into the background, becoming the wallflower of the meeting. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a one-on-one with a supervisor, a small team of two or three colleagues, or a large group of ten or twenty—this pattern shows up everywhere. For many, especially those who have a history of people-pleasing, the anxiety is subtle at first. They freeze, hesitate, or simply stay quiet. Virtual meetings can make it even easier to hide—camera off, muted, and invisible. I’ve had clients tell me that, since working with me, they started turning their cameras on during meetings, and they noticed a profound shift in how present and engaged they felt. Before, avoidance ruled their behavior. Now, with awareness and practice, they’re stepping forward. Avoidance may seem harmless, but it comes at a cost. Professionally, it can limit your growth. I can’t tell you how many people have shared with me that they were passed over for promotions—not because their work was lacking, but because they didn’t speak up. Others who spoke more, shared ideas freely, and took visible action often got ahead, even when their ideas weren’t better. This isn’t fair, but it’s reality. Social visibility matters. It also impacts your confidence and self-esteem. When you retreat, you reinforce the belief that your voice isn’t valuable. You diminish your own engagement and sense of power at work. But here’s the truth: showing up, speaking, and sharing your ideas builds confidence. It strengthens your presence. It reminds you that you have something valuable to contribute. So how do you shift this? Start by recognizing the root of your anxiety. Most often, it comes from a fear of judgment. You imagine that if you speak, someone will think you’re incompetent, awkward, or weak. That fear drives invisibility, pushing you toward the wallflower role. And that association—visibility equals danger—is deeply ingrained for many people. If you’ve ever been embarrassed, criticized, or dismissed, your mind naturally links attention with pain. But this association is wrong. Being the center of attention is not automatically dangerous or bad. You’ve been projecting your fears onto others, assuming judgment, when in reality, people are rarely as focused on you as you think. Understanding this projection is the first step in breaking the freeze. Your fear isn’t about them—it’s about the story your mind is telling. Once you recognize the story, you can start practicing presence. Begin small: contribute one idea in a meeting, answer a question, or share a brief thought. Gradually increase your participation until speaking up feels natural. Remember, visibility is a skill. Like any skill, it strengthens with practice. The more you engage, the less frightening it becomes, and the more confidence you build. Conversations—whether one-on-one, in small teams, or in large meetings—are opportunities to practice this skill. They are not threats. Each time you step forward, you prove to yourself that you can be heard, that your ideas have value, and that visibility does not equal harm. This principle applies beyond work too. Public speaking, social gatherings, even family discussions all benefit from the same practice. Every brave step you take in one arena reinforces your courage in others. If you want a focused, immersive way to accelerate this skill, consider my upcoming virtual event, Supremely Confident Conversation Mastery. Over three days, we’ll dive deep into conversation mastery, work on speaking confidently in any setting, and even explore storytelling to help you own the room. It’s a live, interactive experience—nothing compares to throwing yourself in and practicing in real time. If you’re ready to transform your confidence and your career, this is the opportunity. Remember, confidence isn’t about never feeling fear. It’s about acting despite it. Speaking up is a muscle—every time you use it, it grows stronger. The more you show up, the more natural it becomes. The wallflower in meetings can step into the room with presence, authority, and impact. And that is the work, the practice, and the gift of building real confidence.
If you ever feel anxious when interacting with others—whether you're sharing your thoughts, speaking up, or simply being seen—you're likely running a powerful, hidden pattern. In this episode, we’ll uncover what that pattern is, how it silently runs the show, and how to break free from it. Dr. Aziz shares a transformative insight about the story we tell ourselves—“they don’t like me”—and how this subtle but constant belief fuels anxiety, guilt, and people-pleasing. You’ll learn how to spot when this belief is activated, why it’s totally made up, and what to do to shift into a more confident, grounded state. Get ready to break free from the fear of being disliked, stop bracing for rejection, and start showing up with more authenticity and peace. Listen now and learn how to stop assuming you're being judged—and start being yourself.-------------------------------------- The pattern we’re talking about is imagining. It’s that inner feeling and the mental story that comes with it, usually subconscious, that creates anxiety in social, professional, or creative situations. You might not consciously think, “They’re going to hate me,” but your body, your nervous system, and your emotions respond as if it’s real. You feel discomfort, tension, and even dread because you’re imagining people being upset, disappointed, or disgusted with you. This pattern is incredibly common and is the root of chronic guilt, social anxiety, and discomfort around putting yourself out there. The critical thing to understand is that this anxiety is self-generated. Those images of people rejecting you, being disappointed, or hating you are largely hallucinations created by your own mind. Recognizing that you are generating this story is the first step toward liberation. Once you see it, you can start breaking the hold it has over you. There’s a part of you that Dr. Aziz calls the “safety police.” This part hates uncertainty and discomfort, so it predicts the worst-case scenario for everyone at all times. It’s trying to protect you from pain, like the rare instance of someone disliking you, by keeping you socially guarded all the time. The problem is that it overprotects. It creates the illusion that everyone might be judging or hating you, which makes life feel heavy, limiting, and anxious. You cannot control other people’s opinions, but you can cultivate internal certainty. You can know who you are, recognize your value, and be confident that you’ll be okay regardless of how others react. This is the form of certainty that frees you to take social risks without chronic anxiety. When you anchor in internal certainty, you stop needing to predict or control the reactions of everyone around you. Awareness is the key to freedom. You must catch this pattern in the moment. Notice when your mind is spinning the story that everyone dislikes you. Audit your life to see where this is happening—whether it’s emails, calls, meetings, or social interactions—and consciously step into action despite the discomfort. Ask yourself, “If I were fearless, what would I do?” Make a list of the actions that anxiety currently prevents you from taking. Then, start small. Send that email, make that call, speak up in the meeting. Remind yourself: “I bring value. I am okay either way.” This internal certainty shifts your nervous system and your experience entirely. As Dr. Aziz says, “You are making it up. Your nervous system is responding to a hallucination.” When you change this pattern, you create a whole different experience socially and in your inner confidence. The mindset you want to practice is simple but powerful: “I’ll be okay either way.” Step into action, notice the story your mind is telling, and anchor yourself in your value and resilience. That is where true confidence begins.
Welcome to today’s powerful episode of the show — where we expose one of the most common, invisible lies holding you back from confidence, boldness, and a fully alive life. What’s the lie? Just five words: “I can’t because I’m scared.” It sounds reasonable — even factual. But what if that story is not only false… it’s also the very thing keeping you stuck? Dr. Aziz dives deep into how this belief quietly controls your behavior, limits your growth, and keeps you from taking even small steps toward what you want — whether in social situations, your career, or your relationships. You’ll discover why fear and ability are not causally linked, and how separating discomfort from impossibility is the first step to reclaiming your freedom. This isn’t about pushing you into the deep end — it’s about compassionate, consistent progress. With the right tools, mindset, and willingness to be temporarily uncomfortable, you can create extraordinary transformation. 🔥 If you're ready to challenge your limits and step into more boldness, this episode is for you. Tune in now and take the brakes off your confidence.-------------------------------- How often do you find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Or perhaps you quietly suppress your own needs, thinking that if you just accommodate others, everything will be fine. If you've ever struggled with this, you're not alone. In this post, we'll explore why it's so difficult to ask for what you want in your relationships and how embracing your true needs can transform your life—socially, professionally, and personally. Why Do We Struggle with Asking for What We Want? We all have wants and needs, but somehow, the act of asking for them can feel overwhelming. Maybe you're afraid of being seen as "too needy," or you worry about pushing others away. This fear often stems from a deep-seated belief that we’re not enough as we are—that our desires aren't worth voicing or that others will reject us if we express them. Take it from my own experience. In my 20s, I struggled with boundaries in romantic relationships. While I could confidently approach women and start dating, once the relationship progressed, I found myself wanting to pull away. I couldn’t figure out why, until I realized that I had a hard time navigating the balance of wanting something and expressing that need openly. In fact, the issue wasn’t my ability to connect or the person I was dating—it was my inability to articulate what I wanted or needed, especially once I was in a more intimate dynamic. The "Nice Person" Trap: How Suppressing Your Needs Hurts You Many of us fall into the “nice person” trap, a pattern where we suppress our desires to keep the peace. This behavior often originates from the belief that we aren’t lovable or worthy of attention just as we are. We may think, If I don’t ask for anything, if I’m flexible and accommodating enough, then maybe they’ll like me and want to be around me. However, this doesn’t lead to healthy relationships. The more you deny your own needs, the more resentful and disconnected you may feel over time. If you're constantly accommodating others and never speaking up for what you truly want, you might end up feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or even disconnected from your own desires. A Simple Question That Will Change Your Relationships: “What Do I Want?” The key to shifting this dynamic is simple: start asking yourself, “What do I want?” This can seem like a small question, but it holds tremendous power. Whether you're deciding what to do with a friend, negotiating in the workplace, or navigating a romantic relationship, giving yourself permission to ask what you want is the first step toward creating healthier, more fulfilling connections. Let’s take a real-life example. My wife was planning a hike with a friend, but at the last minute, her friend couldn’t keep up due to a knee injury. They ended up hanging out instead. When we reflected on it later, my wife realized that while she valued the time with her friend, what she really wanted was to go on a hike. The key here was that my wife was able to reflect on her desires and communicate them clearly, leading to a healthier way of handling future situations. The Action Step: Practicing Healthy Self-Advocacy Now, it’s your turn. Here’s the action step I encourage you to take: Ask yourself what you want in every situation—whether it’s deciding how to spend your Saturday afternoon, navigating a work challenge, or addressing an issue with a partner. It’s not about being selfish or dismissing others; it’s about becoming aware of your own needs and learning how to express them in a healthy, productive way. When you start honoring your desires, your relationships will transform, as will your sense of self-worth. So, the next time you’re in a situation where you feel uncertain or overwhelmed, ask yourself: What do I want? By starting this simple practice, you’ll gradually develop the confidence to express your needs, build healthier connections, and embrace your worth. Embrace Your Worth, Live Authentically The journey to overcoming social anxiety and becoming more assertive in your relationships is not about perfection. It’s about being willing to show up as your authentic self and advocate for your needs with confidence. As you develop this practice, remember: you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued as much as anyone else. If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I invite you to check out my books and resources. Start taking those small steps today—ask yourself, “What do I want?”—and see how it transforms your relationships and your life. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are, and know deep down that you are awesome.
Today’s episode is all about you—what you want and need in your life and in your relationships. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, a coworker, or a family member, you are constantly navigating wants, needs, and boundaries. But how do you even know what you want—let alone ask for it without guilt, fear, or discomfort? That’s exactly what we’re going to explore together. If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, over-accommodating, or avoiding conflict, this episode will be deeply liberating. Dr. Aziz shares personal stories—from relationship challenges to parenting decisions—to reveal how easy it is to lose ourselves in the name of being “nice.” He breaks down the roots of this pattern and teaches you how to reconnect with your desires, give yourself permission to express them, and advocate for what truly matters to you. You’ll also learn the MVP question that changes everything: What do I want? When you start asking this regularly, your confidence, clarity, and sense of freedom will grow. This episode is your invitation to step out of niceness and into a more powerful, authentic version of you.--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever found yourself bending over backwards in relationships, doing everything for others, and yet feeling like you're not getting what you need? Whether it's with a romantic partner, a friend, or even at work, the challenge of asking for what you want is something we all face. But here's the truth: without skillfully advocating for yourself, you’ll continue to miss out on the connection, respect, and fulfillment you deserve. In this blog post, we’re going to dive into how to understand what you truly want in relationships, why it’s often so hard to ask for it, and how to start changing that dynamic today. What Do You Really Want? In every relationship, there are things you want and things you need. This could be in a romantic relationship, with your family, or in your work life. We all have desires—things we want to feel seen, heard, and valued. But often, due to fear of being “too demanding” or not wanting to burden others, we suppress those needs. So, how do you know the difference between a need and a want? The key is understanding that your desires are just as valid as anyone else’s, and it's okay to ask for what you want. You don’t have to be the “nice person” who always sacrifices their own needs for the sake of others. Your feelings, wants, and needs matter too. The Dangerous "Nice Person" Trap Here’s a powerful insight that comes from my own experience: I used to be a nice guy. I wanted everyone to like me, avoid conflict, and always say "yes" to everyone. In fact, I spent a lot of time in my 20s in romantic relationships where I’d show up full of excitement, but the moment things got more serious, I felt suffocated. I couldn’t figure out why I was pushing people away—until I realized that my fear of setting boundaries was the real culprit. The issue wasn’t that I didn’t like the person I was dating—it was that I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted, or even recognize what I needed in a relationship. I couldn’t express my feelings and desires in a healthy, constructive way. And so, the anxiety about disappointing others, or being rejected, took over. How the "Nice Person" Trap Impacts You This might sound familiar. Maybe you constantly say "yes" when you really want to say "no." You accommodate others, avoid conflict, and overextend yourself, only to end up feeling drained, frustrated, and misunderstood. This behavior stems from the belief that you're "not enough" as you are, and so you strive to be what others want, even at the cost of your own well-being. But here's the truth: You have the right to want things. In fact, wanting and asking for things is the foundation of healthy, balanced relationships. When you deny yourself the ability to express your desires, it leads to resentment, burnout, and confusion. What’s The Solution? It starts with asking yourself a powerful question: What do I want? This simple but profound question will help you reconnect with your true desires. Whether it’s standing up for yourself at work, expressing your needs in a friendship, or asking for more in a romantic relationship, it’s about starting with self-awareness. Here’s a small example from my own life: not too long ago, my wife and I were in a situation where we had to decide how to handle our son’s bedtime routine. He was having trouble sleeping on his own, which meant she was constantly having to lie with him in his bed. Eventually, I had to ask myself, “What do I really want here?” I realized I wanted to spend more time with my wife and not be in a constant state of tension around this issue. So, I expressed my feelings, setting boundaries while also acknowledging her needs. The conversation was challenging but ultimately brought us closer together, and our relationship grew stronger because we were both able to share what we truly wanted. Final Thoughts: Start Asking for What You Want Here’s the liberating truth: It’s okay to want things. And it’s even more important to ask for them. If you’re ready to stop the cycle of people-pleasing and start showing up as your true, authentic self, it begins with claiming your wants and needs as valid and important. Remember, your desires are not burdensome; they are part of your humanity. The more you can ask for what you want, the more confident you’ll feel in your relationships, and the healthier those connections will be. So, start today by asking yourself: What do I want? Keep asking this question throughout the day in different situations. With practice, you’ll start to see how this small shift can create a massive transformation in your relationships. Until next time, have the courage to be who you are and know, on a deep level, that you’re awesome.
Do you feel stuck trying to be "nice" all the time? Always avoiding conflict, worrying what others will think, and saying yes when you mean no? In this episode, Dr. Aziz reveals the hidden cost of people-pleasing—and why it’s one of the most dangerous habits you can have. From parenting to relationships to work decisions, this pattern can quietly lead you into situations that drain your time, money, confidence, and joy. With humor and real-life examples, Dr. Aziz shows how the gentle current of niceness can pull you far off course. You’ll hear stories from his own life—including a recent run-in with a pushy salesman—that bring this dynamic to life in vivid detail. Most importantly, he helps you recognize where this pattern shows up in your world so you can start making new, empowered choices. If you’re ready to stop being the “good boy” or “good girl” and start being you—bold, real, and powerful—this episode is your invitation. Listen now and take the first step toward more confidence, freedom, and self-respect.--------------------------------------------- Welcome to another episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, where we tackle the challenges of social anxiety, people-pleasing, and self-doubt to help you confidently show up as your true self. Today’s episode is about breaking free from the crippling grip of anxiety—specifically, how the need to control your environment can intensify your feelings of anxiety and hold you back. Why Do We Feel Anxious? Anxiety is an uncomfortable and unsettling feeling, often accompanied by thoughts of worry or fear. It's that nagging voice in your head telling you that something bad is going to happen, causing your body to feel on edge, frantic, or even panicked. Anxiety can show up anywhere—whether it’s in social situations, at work, or in personal relationships. But what if I told you that the key to reducing anxiety isn’t about finding a quick fix or a silver bullet, but about changing how you relate to the anxiety itself? The Need for Control: The Root Cause of Anxiety Here’s the truth: Anxiety often stems from the need to control. When we feel like we need something to happen a certain way—whether it’s for people to like us, to be successful, or to avoid discomfort—we trigger anxiety. We think, "If I don’t control this, something bad will happen." For example, consider the anxiety we feel about sleep. Maybe you're stressed about getting enough rest, but the more you stress about it, the harder it becomes to fall asleep. This is a perfect example of how our need to control a situation causes the anxiety itself. The more we believe that we need to control the outcome, the more anxiety we create. Stand-out Quote: "Anxiety comes from the need to control. The more you try to control something, the more anxiety you create." Shifting Your Relationship with Anxiety So, how do we break free from the grip of anxiety and control? The solution isn’t a magic pill or a one-time fix. It’s about awareness and practice. Acknowledge the need to control: The first step in breaking the cycle is recognizing when you’re trying to control something. Notice how your thoughts tell you, “I need this to go right, or else.” Sit with discomfort: Instead of avoiding discomfort or trying to control it, choose to face it. Anxiety will always be present when we try to control our emotions or outcomes. By allowing yourself to feel the discomfort without attaching a need to control it, you can start to decrease its power over you. Let go of the “or else”: Remind yourself that even if things don’t go as planned, you will be okay. By choosing to stop controlling and embracing uncertainty, you take back your power. The Long-Term Solution: Training Yourself to Think Differently The real liberation from anxiety comes when you train yourself over time to think and act differently. Just like building muscle at the gym, overcoming anxiety takes consistent practice. The more you practice letting go of the need to control, the less anxiety will dictate your actions. It’s not about never feeling anxious again. It’s about learning to respond differently to anxiety when it arises. You can train your nervous system to become more regulated, even in the face of discomfort. The more you practice this, the stronger your sense of confidence becomes. You Have the Power to Change If you’re ready to break the avoidance cycle and take control of your anxiety, the first step is acknowledging the need to control and learning how to let go. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but remember—you don’t have to do this alone. You can train yourself over time to build lasting confidence and handle life’s challenges without anxiety taking the lead. Action Step: Today, notice when you’re trying to control something. Whether it’s a conversation, your schedule, or how others perceive you, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that it's okay not to control everything. Let go, and see what happens. Remember, the path to confidence is built one step at a time, and you are capable of taking that first step today. Until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and know on a deep level that you’re awesome.
Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you. ---------------------------------------------------------- Do you feel like you're stuck in a cycle of social anxiety and avoidance? You're not alone. Many people struggle with this exact pattern, and if you're ready to break free from it, you're in the right place. In today’s blog post, we’re diving into the Avoidance Cycle—why it keeps you stuck, how it plays out in your life, and most importantly, how you can break free and build lasting confidence. Let’s uncover the truth behind this cycle and discover how you can shift from avoidance to confidence. What is the Avoidance Cycle? The avoidance cycle begins when you face discomfort. Whether it’s approaching someone you’re attracted to, speaking up in a meeting, or sending that important email you’ve been putting off, discomfort creeps in. It could be mild anxiety, fear of rejection, or dread of confrontation. In response, the brain seeks relief and takes the easy route: avoidance. But here’s the kicker—avoiding the discomfort reinforces the cycle. Instead of growing through it, you take the easier, more comfortable path, but that path leads to stagnation. Over time, the avoidance habit gets stronger, not just in big situations, but in smaller moments too. You start avoiding more and more, even when the discomfort is mild. Stand-out Quote: “Confidence cannot be built while we’re in the avoidance cycle. The key is breaking the pattern of avoidance and facing discomfort head-on.” Why Avoidance Holds You Back Avoidance seems harmless, right? After all, who doesn’t want to avoid the discomfort of awkward situations? But here’s the problem: The more you avoid, the weaker you become in dealing with discomfort. Just like if you avoid physical exercise, your body becomes weaker. Avoidance works the same way. The more you avoid social situations, challenging conversations, or opportunities to assert yourself, the more anxious and disconnected you become. This is exactly why social anxiety doesn’t just go away by waiting for the “right moment” to feel ready. You’ve got to choose discomfort. Only when you face the discomfort consistently do you start building confidence. How to Break Free from the Cycle So, what does it take to break this cycle and start building real confidence? The first step is acknowledging that you’re in the cycle. Once you realize that avoidance is keeping you stuck, you can make a conscious decision to face discomfort instead of running from it. Here are the key steps to breaking the avoidance cycle: Recognize the discomfort – Whether it’s social anxiety, fear of rejection, or self-doubt, acknowledge that these feelings are normal but not the truth about your abilities. Choose discomfort – When you’re faced with an uncomfortable situation, commit to facing it. The discomfort is temporary, but the growth and confidence you’ll gain last much longer. Practice consistently – Building confidence requires regular action. Start with small steps, like initiating a conversation or speaking up in a meeting. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the stronger your confidence becomes. Stand-out Quote: “Confidence is a byproduct of action—the action that’s outside your comfort zone, the action that makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.” Breaking the Cycle Is Possible Here’s the truth: You have the power to break the avoidance cycle. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be instantaneous, but with consistent practice and a willingness to face discomfort, you’ll begin to feel more confident, more alive, and more capable than ever before. Remember, confidence doesn’t come from reading one book or watching one video. It comes from showing up, taking action, and choosing discomfort over and over again. An Inspiring Message of Hope If you’re ready to shift from avoidance to action, know this: change is absolutely possible. The more you practice stepping into discomfort, the more confident you’ll become. So, take that first step today. Choose discomfort. Break the cycle. Build the life you’ve always wanted—one step at a time. Action Step: What’s one uncomfortable action you can take today to challenge the avoidance cycle? Share it in the comments below, and let’s start building lasting confidence together! Until next time, remember to be who you truly are, and know deep down that you're awesome.
Are you caught in the gentle current of people-pleasing? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down the hidden dangers of being “too nice”—how it shows up in everyday decisions, subtly steers your life off course, and costs you more than you realize. With real-life stories (including a surprising run-in with a John Deere salesman), Dr. Aziz shows how saying “yes” when you mean “no” drains your power—and how to reclaim it. 🎧 Listen now to stop living for others’ approval and start living as the real you. ------------------------------------------------------- People-pleasing—sounds harmless, right? After all, isn't it just about being a nice person, accommodating others, and making sure no one gets upset? But here's the reality: people-pleasing is a dangerous game that subtly chips away at your confidence and can lead to big, negative consequences over time. Whether it's in your personal relationships, your career, or even your finances, playing nice can backfire, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected. In today’s episode, I’m going to break down the hidden dangers of people-pleasing and share powerful insights on how to start stepping into your authentic self, without the need to please others at the expense of your own well-being. If you’ve ever found yourself overcommitting or avoiding necessary conflicts just to keep others happy, this episode is for you. The Cost of People-Pleasing We all know that one person—maybe it’s you—who just can’t say no. Whether it’s lending money to friends and family, accommodating people’s demands at work, or giving up your personal time to make someone else happy, these behaviors seem harmless at first but can lead to resentment, burnout, and feeling like you’re not truly living for yourself. A big part of this people-pleasing pattern is avoiding conflict. The idea is to keep everyone happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs. But this constant accommodation keeps you from making decisions that are right for you. Over time, this gives rise to feelings of frustration, unfulfillment, and even emotional exhaustion. The Hidden Signs of Low Confidence People-pleasing doesn’t just affect how you feel about yourself—it also impacts how others see you. One of the first signs of low confidence is subtle body language: avoiding eye contact, slouching, or adopting a posture that makes you appear smaller. These small actions communicate a lack of self-assurance, and while they may seem harmless, they reinforce the idea that you’re not worthy of standing tall in your own life. Another hidden sign is hesitancy in your voice tone. When you’re uncertain of yourself, you might end your sentences with a rising tone, almost as if you’re asking a question instead of making a statement. This lack of certainty can make others feel uncertain about you too, undermining your confidence and credibility. The Freedom of Saying “No” What if you could embrace the power of saying “no” without guilt or fear? That’s right—by breaking free from the need to please everyone, you start to reclaim your personal power. Imagine not having to justify yourself every time you set a boundary or choose to do what’s best for you. Setting boundaries is not only healthy but necessary for building real confidence. For example, when I tell my kids they can only play on their iPad for an hour, they might protest. They may call me “mean,” but it’s my responsibility as a parent to set limits for their benefit. It’s the same in all areas of life: saying “no” when needed shows you’re taking ownership of your decisions, and that is what builds true confidence. Step into Your True Power People-pleasing may feel safe and familiar, but it ultimately holds you back from becoming the confident, authentic person you’re meant to be. The key to breaking free from this cycle is to start saying no, setting boundaries, and practicing direct communication—even when it feels uncomfortable. Your confidence will grow as you take ownership of your life, make decisions based on your values, and stop trying to please everyone around you. The more you practice being authentic, the more you will step into the powerful version of yourself that’s always been waiting to emerge. Take Action Now So, what’s the first step? Start by reflecting on the costs of people-pleasing in your life. Think about the situations where you’ve sacrificed your needs to make someone else happy. What impact has this had on you? The more you see the true cost of constantly trying to please others, the more you’ll realize that this is not the life you want to lead. Remember, saying “no” isn’t just about rejecting others—it’s about choosing yourself. And when you start making choices that honor your needs, your confidence will naturally follow. You are worthy of being your true self, and it's time to stop letting people-pleasing stand in the way of your authentic, powerful life. As always, until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you truly are, and to know on a deep level that you are awesome.
In this empowering episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz sits down with sales expert Colin Yearwood, who helps coaches and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales—without manipulation or pressure. Colin shares his powerful journey from avoiding sales entirely to embracing it as a vehicle for freedom, purpose, and service. You’ll hear how he overcame the fear of rejection, stopped giving his services away for free, and discovered how sales can be one of the most selfless things you do when done with heart.Whether you’re a coach, creative, or just someone who wants to feel more empowered asking for what you want in life, this conversation will give you the tools to stop fearing sales—and start seeing it as a way to help others. Listen now and discover how changing your mindset around selling can transform your business, your confidence, and your life. ------------------------------------------------------------- In this engaging episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz is joined by Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who helps coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs grow their businesses by mastering the skill of sales. Colin shares his fascinating journey from hating sales to embracing it as one of the most important tools for helping others—and for creating a life of freedom and purpose. Are You Afraid of Selling? You're Not Alone For many, the thought of selling is fraught with fear and discomfort. Colin confesses that he used to despise selling, even going so far as to give away his services for free. But that changed when a mentor pushed him to confront his resistance. He learned that selling isn't about convincing or manipulating others—it's about serving and guiding people to the resources they need to improve their lives. Why Selling Can Be a Force for Good Colin explains that selling isn't about pushing products or services on people who don't need them. Instead, it’s about helping others get the solutions they’re looking for—solutions that could make a meaningful difference in their lives. He says, "Selling is one of the best things you can do if you want to make a difference in the world." Through sales, you can reframe people’s thinking, offer them clarity, and help them bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be. The Key to Sales: Confidence and Detachment One of the core lessons Colin teaches is the importance of being unattached to the outcome of a sales conversation. He encourages people to shift from a place of neediness—where the focus is all on getting the sale—to a place of serving, where the focus is on genuinely helping the person you're talking to. This mindset shift not only makes you more confident, but it also makes the sales process more authentic and less stressful. The Real Story Behind Rejection A common fear in sales (and life) is the fear of rejection. Many people take it personally when someone says no. Colin dispels this myth by reminding us that rejection isn't about you—it's about the offer. He explains, "They’re not saying no to you. They’re saying no to the offer, not the person." This shift in perspective can make a huge difference in how you approach sales conversations and navigate the inevitable no's. What Mindset Helps You Succeed in Sales? Colin shares that his mindset going into any sales conversation is one of curiosity, empathy, and openness. Instead of focusing solely on closing the deal, he focuses on understanding the person he's talking to—what their needs are, what their challenges are, and how he can help them overcome them. This approach leads to better sales outcomes and deeper connections with potential clients. Sales Is Just Another Way to Build Connections At the heart of sales is connection. Colin points out that the best salespeople are those who approach every conversation with an open heart and a genuine interest in helping others. This means showing up authentically, being willing to listen, and not getting caught up in the fear of rejection or the need to make a sale. When you focus on connection, the sales process becomes much more natural—and far less intimidating. Takeaways: The Power of Sales and Service For anyone struggling with the fear of selling or worrying that they’re being “too pushy,” Colin’s advice is simple but profound: "Selling is about service. It's about helping people get what they need." By embracing this mindset, you can shift your approach to sales—and life—away from fear and manipulation, and towards authenticity, connection, and genuine support. Get Out of Your Own Way Colin reminds us that the key to success in sales (and life) is showing up as the best version of yourself. The more you invest in your personal growth, the more naturally your sales skills will improve. And even if you're not a natural-born salesperson, with the right mindset and the willingness to learn, you can succeed and make a meaningful impact on others. Listen Now for More Sales Wisdom This episode is packed with invaluable insights for anyone looking to overcome their fear of selling and build a successful business based on serving others. Whether you're in sales, entrepreneurship, or just looking to improve your confidence in life, Colin’s story and expertise will inspire you to shift your mindset, embrace the process, and start showing up with confidence. Final Thought: Selling doesn’t have to be about manipulation or pushiness. It can be about connection, service, and helping people make a positive change in their lives. By embracing this mindset, you’ll not only improve your sales skills—you’ll also create deeper, more authentic relationships and open doors to greater success and fulfillment. Listen to the full episode for more practical tips and powerful advice on overcoming fear and rejection in sales and turning your fear into confidence.
In this revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz takes you deep beneath the surface of people-pleasing to uncover the root cause of "nice" behavior—and how to break free from it once and for all. Whether it’s avoiding conflict, constantly agreeing, or feeling guilty for asserting yourself, these behaviors are all symptoms of one deeper fear. Dr. Aziz shows you how to stop managing a dozen surface habits and instead zero in on the core emotional driver that keeps you stuck in patterns of approval-seeking and guilt. You’ll learn why the real path to confidence and freedom isn’t about “trying harder” to be assertive—it’s about upgrading your internal rules and learning how to handle the uncomfortable feelings you’re trying to avoid. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt trapped by niceness or frustrated by your inability to speak up, this episode is your roadmap out. Tune in now and start stepping into your bold, authentic self.----------------------------- Sales often gets a bad rap. It’s seen as manipulative, transactional, and something that “pushy” people do. But what if sales could be a tool for good? What if it was about helping others, building real connections, and empowering them to make decisions that could transform their lives? In today’s episode, I’m sitting down with Colin Yearwood, a sales expert who has helped countless coaches, consultants, and entrepreneurs navigate the world of sales with confidence and integrity. Colin’s journey into sales wasn’t a straightforward one—he was a self-described “late bloomer.” For years, he hated selling and avoided it, offering discounted work and even giving away services for free. But when he realized that in order to grow his business and help people, he had to get comfortable with selling, everything shifted. Through a combination of personal development and sales strategy, Colin transformed his mindset and his approach. Now, he sees selling as one of the most powerful tools for creating meaningful change in people’s lives. The Heart of Sales: Serving, Not Manipulating A common fear many people have when it comes to sales is that it’s manipulative. The idea of convincing someone to buy something they don’t need feels icky. But Colin explains that the problem isn’t selling—it’s how you sell. If you approach sales with the mindset of serving others, listening to their concerns, and finding the best solution for them, then you’re not manipulating, you’re helping. One of the biggest shifts Colin experienced was moving away from desperation. When you need the sale to feel worthy or successful, your energy will shift, and people will sense that. Instead, Colin encourages focusing on what’s best for the person you’re speaking with. Being unattached to the outcome of the sale frees you up to show up authentically and let the conversation unfold naturally. Stand-out Quote: “When you show up centered and focused on the other person, not on making the sale, that’s when the magic happens.” The Fear of Rejection: How to Embrace ‘No’ Sales, like dating, involves rejection. And let’s be honest—nobody likes it. But rejection doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Colin explains that a “no” from someone doesn’t mean you’re unworthy—it simply means your offer wasn’t the right fit for them at that time. The key is not to take rejection personally. When you stop seeing rejection as a reflection of your worth, it becomes easier to navigate and move forward. To get better at handling rejection, Colin recommends focusing on learning from the conversation rather than obsessing over what went wrong. After every sales call or interaction, take a moment to reflect on what went well and what could be improved. This practice allows you to build on your successes and grow from your mistakes, creating a continuous cycle of improvement and confidence. Stand-out Quote: “When you get a ‘no,’ see it as an opportunity to learn and refine your approach, not a sign of failure.” The Power of Curiosity and Energy in Sales Conversations Sales isn’t about talking someone into something they don’t need; it’s about listening to their needs, understanding their challenges, and offering a solution. Colin emphasizes the importance of curiosity. Instead of just following a script, be genuinely curious about the person you’re talking to. Ask questions that dig deeper, and truly listen to their responses. This allows you to align your offer with what they truly need. One of the most powerful things Colin does before a sales call is get himself into the right mindset. He spends time grounding himself, setting intentions, and reminding himself that the conversation is about serving, not just closing a deal. This preparation helps him show up with confidence and clarity, and it shifts the energy of the conversation. Stand-out Quote: “The more curious you are, the more connected you’ll be to the person on the other side of the conversation.” Turning Sales into a Personal Growth Journey Colin’s approach to sales is more than just a strategy—it’s a mindset shift. By focusing on personal development, emotional intelligence, and being present in each conversation, you can transform the sales process into a tool for personal growth and meaningful connection. The more you practice, the better you’ll get. Action Step: Reflect on your own mindset around sales. Do you fear rejection? Do you feel like selling is manipulative? Shift your focus to the person you’re serving. What do they need? What can you offer that would genuinely improve their life or business? By approaching sales as an act of service, you’ll start to feel more confident and less attached to the outcome. If you want to learn more about Colin’s approach to sales and personal growth, be sure to check out his website ColinYearwood.com and explore the resources available to help you master the art of selling with authenticity and confidence. In Conclusion: Embrace the Journey Sales is a journey of self-discovery, vulnerability, and growth. The more you show up with authenticity, curiosity, and a servant’s heart, the more you’ll connect with others and create opportunities for meaningful success. Remember, it’s not about making the sale—it’s about making a difference. Are you ready to stop fearing rejection and start selling with confidence?
Why do you avoid conflict, over-apologize, or say “yes” when you really mean “no”? In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz unpacks the deeper reasons behind people-pleasing and “nice” behavior—and reveals what’s really driving it. You’ll discover that these habits aren’t just random quirks—they’re part of a system designed to keep you “safe” by earning approval and avoiding disapproval. But this comes at a huge cost: your authenticity, your confidence, and your freedom. Dr. Aziz shares key signs of hidden people-pleasing and offers a compelling invitation to look at what you’re really afraid to feel. Once you understand the emotional root of these patterns, you can start breaking free—not by fixing a dozen behaviors, but by going straight to the source. 🎧 Ready to reclaim your voice and stop living by invisible rules? Listen now to start your journey toward greater confidence and true self-expression.-------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever found yourself bending over backward to please others, saying yes when you really wanted to say no, or avoiding confrontation because you’re scared of what might happen if you speak your truth? If so, you’re not alone. People-pleasing behaviors can show up in many areas of life—from romantic relationships to work and even friendships. The good news? You don’t need to fix every single behavior. Instead, we’re going to dig into what’s really at the root of these patterns and how you can change them from the inside out. The Hidden Costs of People-Pleasing We often think of people-pleasing as just being “nice,” but the truth is, there’s a huge difference between being kind and being overly accommodating to the point where it harms your emotional well-being. People-pleasing behaviors are typically driven by an intense fear of rejection, disapproval, or conflict. You might find yourself avoiding conflict at all costs, smiling when you're upset, or agreeing with everything someone says—even if you don’t believe it. Stand-out Quote: “People-pleasing isn't about kindness—it's about seeking approval to feel safe and accepted.” Some of the most common signs of people-pleasing include: Avoiding conflict: You might avoid difficult conversations or disagreeing with others because you fear their reaction. Smiling when upset: Masking your true feelings with a smile or laugh, even when you’re uncomfortable. Excessive agreeing: You nod or say “yes” to everything, even when it’s not what you truly want, just to keep the peace. These behaviors might seem harmless at first, but over time, they can lead to a sense of being disconnected from your true self. You start to feel as though you're living for others and not for yourself, which can be emotionally exhausting and even leave you feeling resentful or invisible. What’s at the Root of People-Pleasing? When you break down the people-pleasing behaviors, you’ll find one thing at the core: fear. Fear of rejection, fear of upsetting someone, fear of being judged, and ultimately, fear that you won’t be good enough. It’s the fear that if you don’t follow the unspoken rules—like always agreeing with others or avoiding conflict—you won’t be loved, accepted, or valued. But here’s the key realization: You don’t need to keep playing by these rules. The rules are simply a collection of beliefs that you’ve internalized over the years. You don’t have to keep following them if they aren’t serving you. The Power of Feeling Your Feelings One of the most effective ways to break free from people-pleasing is to stop avoiding uncomfortable feelings. When you’re constantly trying to avoid upsetting people or making them feel uncomfortable, you’re also avoiding your own discomfort. This avoidance keeps the cycle going. Instead of running from the fear of rejection or conflict, feel it. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, but here’s the game-changer: Your ability to feel and tolerate discomfort is the key to breaking free. When you can sit with those emotions and still act authentically, you’ll find that you are not only stronger but also more aligned with your true self. Stand-out Quote: “When you break the rules of people-pleasing, you’re breaking free to become your true, authentic self.” The Path to Freedom: A Practical Step Here’s your action step for today: Pick one rule you’ve been living by—maybe it’s always saying yes when you mean no, or avoiding difficult conversations—and imagine breaking that rule. Picture yourself saying “no” when you usually say yes, or speaking up when you usually stay quiet. Ask yourself: What do you fear will happen? What’s the worst-case scenario? More often than not, the fear is exaggerated, and you’ll realize that you can handle the discomfort that comes with it. Take a moment to feel that discomfort fully. It’s not as bad as it seems, and the more you practice this, the easier it becomes. Remember, breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. With each step, you’ll feel more empowered, more authentic, and more connected to your true self. Embrace Your True Self People-pleasing doesn’t make you a good person—it makes you a person who is disconnected from their own truth. By starting to challenge the rules you’ve been following, you can begin the process of reclaiming your power. You can stop living for others and start living for yourself. You are worthy of love, respect, and connection just as you are. It’s time to embrace your authentic self—without the fear, the guilt, or the need to please anyone else. You are enough. Remember, it’s not about being “good” according to someone else’s standards—it’s about being true to yourself.
Do you worry you're coming off as too needy—in dating, friendships, or business? In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz breaks down what “neediness” really is, why it’s often just fear in disguise, and how to shift from anxious grasping to calm confidence. You’ll learn how to spot the difference between healthy desire and emotional urgency—and what to do when you feel that panicky “I need this to go right” energy. 🎧 Tune in now and discover how to feel more secure, grounded, and powerful—no matter the outcome.--------------------------------------- We’ve all experienced moments of feeling needy or desperate, whether in our romantic lives, friendships, or even at work. It’s uncomfortable, and the fear of being seen as desperate can be overwhelming. But is feeling needy always a bad thing? How can we distinguish between legitimate wants and a destructive need that can repel others? In today’s episode, we're diving deep into the question: Are you too needy? We’ll explore why you might feel desperate, how it shows up in your life, and, most importantly, how to break free from the cycle. Get ready for some powerful insights that will change the way you see your own behavior and give you the tools to navigate this tricky emotion with confidence. The Fine Line Between Wanting and Needing Have you ever felt like you absolutely needed someone or something to make you feel okay? Whether it’s a person responding to a text, a job offer coming through, or your partner’s approval, that shift from "I want" to "I need" can bring a lot of tension and anxiety. The moment you start thinking, “I need this,” you’re attaching your emotional well-being to something outside of yourself, which can lead to feelings of desperation. The key distinction here is that need often comes from a place of fear. It’s no longer just a passing desire; it’s become something that feels essential to your survival—emotionally speaking. That fear of not getting what you “need” creates a sense of urgency and tension, which can manifest in all areas of your life, from your personal relationships to your career. Stand-out Quote: “It’s not about what you want—it’s about how you’re attached to the outcome that makes all the difference.” The Real Danger of Neediness The issue with acting out neediness isn’t just that it feels uncomfortable for you—it can also push people away. Whether you’re desperately trying to make a sale or forcing a romantic connection, others can feel that desperation. No one likes to feel like they’re being used as a means to an emotional end. People can sense that kind of energy, even if it’s unspoken, and it can create resistance in the other person. As much as you may want to avoid being perceived as needy, the key is not to repress or ignore the feeling, but to understand it. It’s about getting to the root of why you feel the need for validation or approval, and ultimately learning to find that validation within yourself. The Power of Perspective and Detachment The first step in overcoming feelings of desperation is gaining perspective. Ask yourself, “What would happen if I didn’t get what I wanted?” In most cases, you’d be okay. You’d survive, and the world would keep turning. The difference lies in how much weight you put on the outcome. If you're feeling desperate, it’s crucial to step back and examine the root cause. Are you attaching your worth to someone else’s approval? Or are you relying on an external outcome to validate your emotions? By shifting your focus inward and recognizing your intrinsic value, you can begin to break free from the need for external validation. Instead of approaching the situation from a place of fear, approach it with confidence in who you are, regardless of the outcome. Practical Tips to Break Free from Desperation Here’s a powerful practice to help you navigate moments of neediness or desperation: Identify Your Emotional Urgency Take a moment to notice when you’re feeling desperate. On a scale from 1 to 10, how strongly do you feel the need for something external to happen in order for you to feel okay? Recognizing this urgency is the first step to loosening its grip on you. Create Space Around the Feeling Instead of acting on the impulse to “do something” about the situation, take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to feel the emotion fully. Give yourself the space to soften the intensity of the urgency. Shift Your Focus Reconnect with your values and your internal sense of worth. What is important to you? What do you value most in life? By focusing on what truly matters to you, rather than on the external outcome, you can release the pressure and operate from a place of strength. Embrace Freedom and Self-Worth It’s okay to feel needy at times—it’s a natural human emotion. But it’s crucial to recognize when neediness is coming from a place of fear or scarcity. When you learn to detach your emotional well-being from the external, you can build a deeper sense of confidence and freedom. Remember, the most powerful thing you can do is come from a place of want, not need. When you live with a clear sense of self-worth and confidence, you won’t be desperate for anyone else’s approval. You’ll be free to go after what you want without fear, and you’ll attract the right people and opportunities into your life. So, are you ready to let go of the desperation? Your confidence and authenticity are your greatest strengths. Start living from that place today and watch how your relationships and experiences shift.
In this episode, we explore a truth that can completely transform your life: when you know who you are, everything changes. Confidence deepens. Fear fades. And your decisions start coming from clarity—not self-doubt. You'll discover how most people unknowingly build their lives around trying to prove, please, or avoid. But when you shift from chasing validation to standing in who you truly are, you unlock real confidence, peace, and power. This isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about remembering who you already are. The real you is calm, capable, and more than enough. 🎧 If you’ve ever felt like you have to earn your worth or constantly win others’ approval, this episode is for you. Tune in now and take a bold step toward freedom. ----------------------------- Are you tired of feeling anxious, disconnected, or like you’re not living up to your full potential? If so, there’s a simple but powerful solution that can help you break free from the grip of fear and self-doubt: your values. In today’s episode, I’ll show you how reconnecting to your true essence and living in alignment with your values can unlock a goldmine of confidence, resilience, and personal power. "The Fear Isn’t Coming from the Outside, It’s Coming from Inside" Many of us believe that our fear comes from external situations—like a challenging meeting, an upcoming date, or a new career opportunity. But what if the real cause of your anxiety isn’t the outside world at all? What if it’s a disconnection from yourself and your true potential? When we’re disconnected from our values—what truly matters to us—our confidence takes a hit. We become anxious, unsure, and easily influenced by external pressures. But when we reconnect to our core values, everything changes. The same circumstances no longer feel as threatening because we’re grounded in who we truly are. How to Find the Root of Your Confidence The secret to overcoming fear and anxiety isn’t in changing the world around you—it’s in aligning your actions with your values. Here’s how to get started: Identify What Truly Matters to You Your values are the compass that guides your life. It’s not about what others expect from you or what you “should” care about—it’s about what drives you at your core. For some, it’s family. For others, it’s personal growth or adventure. When you identify your core values, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and what makes you tick. Clarify Your Top Values Your values provide a solid foundation in a constantly shifting world. Whether it’s love, contribution, achievement, or courage, knowing what matters most to you can help you make confident decisions and navigate challenges with greater ease. "The more you live by your values, the more confident you’ll feel, because your strength lies in living your truth." Align Your Actions with Your Values Living your values isn’t just a mental exercise—it’s about taking action. Each time you make a decision that aligns with your values, you reinforce your sense of self and build your confidence. This could mean taking bold steps in your career, standing up for yourself in relationships, or making time for self-care. Every action that reflects your values strengthens your resilience and reduces anxiety. Why This Matters for You Living your values is the key to unlocking your personal confidence goldmine. When you get clear on what matters to you and consistently live in alignment with those values, you build an unshakable foundation of confidence. This isn’t just about achieving goals or pleasing others—it’s about embracing who you are and living with purpose. Your Path to Confidence Starts Today The journey to lasting confidence starts with living in alignment with your values. What truly matters to you? What do you value most in life? Take a moment to identify your core values, and start living them every day. The more you do this, the more your confidence will grow. Remember, your values are your superpower. When you embrace them and live authentically, you unlock a limitless source of strength. So take that first step today, and watch how living your values transforms your life. You’ve got this—your personal confidence goldmine is waiting
In this powerful episode, Dr. Aziz is joined by Dr. Dave Tuck for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about identity, healing, and confidence. Together, they explore what happens when you truly know who you are—and how that clarity can radically shift your relationships, decisions, and sense of peace. You’ll hear how Dr. Tuck’s personal journey led him from people-pleasing and performance-based self-worth to a deeper connection with his true self. Through candid stories and practical wisdom, this episode invites you to question old roles and step into a more grounded, authentic version of yourself. 🎧 Ready for a breakthrough in how you see yourself and show up in the world? Tune in now.----------------------------- Change can feel overwhelming, right? Whether it’s a new job, a breakup, a move, or the beginning of a new chapter, transitions stir up uncertainty, fear, and often, confusion. But what if you could see transitions not as roadblocks, but as opportunities to grow, evolve, and become more confident in yourself? In today’s post, we’re diving into why transitions are an inevitable part of life—and how embracing them can lead to profound personal growth. Dr. Dave Tucker, a chiropractor and self-mastery coach with over 30 years of experience, offers valuable insights on how to navigate life’s transitions effectively. The Inevitable Nature of Transitions Let’s face it—change is going to happen. From our first breath to our last, we’re constantly going through transitions. Some are big—graduating, changing careers, getting married—while others are more subtle, like shifting perspectives in relationships or facing health challenges. These transitions, while often uncomfortable, are vital to our personal evolution. Stand-out Quote: "Every transition is an opportunity for growth and wisdom." – Dr. Dave Tucker The real challenge isn’t the transition itself, but our resistance to it. Most of us tend to fight change, fearing the unknown, or fearing what we might lose. But it’s important to realize that fighting change only makes the transition harder and more painful. Instead, by learning how to embrace transitions, we allow ourselves to grow stronger and more resilient. Embrace Change to Overcome Fear As Dr. Dave explains, transitions often require us to shift our identity. This could mean letting go of an old way of thinking or confronting parts of ourselves that we’ve been avoiding. But instead of retreating or avoiding the discomfort, it’s crucial to embrace it. Stand-out Quote: "Embracing change isn’t about avoiding discomfort, it’s about learning to face it with confidence." This is where many people get stuck. When change comes, they panic, thinking it’s a sign that something is wrong. They try to avoid the discomfort by holding onto old patterns or identities. But what if we stopped resisting and, instead, saw discomfort as a sign that we are evolving into the next version of ourselves? The Power of Your Identity in Transitions One of the most important aspects of navigating transitions is understanding your identity. Dr. Dave shares that our identity is made up of three core elements: values, vision, and voice. These elements help guide us through life’s transitions, ensuring we stay aligned with who we are, no matter what changes come our way. Values: What’s most important to you in life? Your values act as the compass that keeps you grounded, especially in times of uncertainty. Vision: Where do you want to go in life? Having a clear vision helps you navigate transitions with purpose, ensuring that you are working toward something meaningful. Voice: Your voice is your authentic expression. When you’re clear on who you are and what you want, speaking your truth becomes easier, even in difficult situations. Stand-out Quote: "When you’re clear about your identity, decisions become much easier, and life flows with more confidence." – Dr. Dave Tucker Take Action: Build Confidence Through Transitions Embracing change and expanding your capacity to handle discomfort is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. Each transition is a chance to reinforce your identity, grow in confidence, and step into your true power. So, what action can you take today to start embracing transitions in your life? Whether it’s starting a new project, having a difficult conversation, or facing a fear that’s been holding you back, remember that discomfort is a sign of growth. Final Thought: As you navigate life’s transitions, don’t fear the discomfort. Lean into it, and you’ll discover new levels of strength and confidence. The key is to embrace each change as an opportunity for growth and transformation.
In this eye-opening episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz introduces what might be the most underrated yet transformational key to building confidence and reducing social anxiety: expanding your capacity. It might not sound glamorous, but this principle is the real “magic juice” for lasting confidence. Dr. Aziz explains that every person has an emotional and psychological threshold for discomfort—whether it’s rejection, conflict, criticism, or awkwardness—and those with social anxiety often have a lower capacity in these areas. The breakthrough? Confidence grows not by avoiding discomfort, but by intentionally leaning into it. By reframing your experiences as opportunities to expand your capacity rather than threats to avoid, you open the door to extraordinary growth. Whether it’s speaking up at work, handling rejection in dating, or saying what you really think in a group—these are not scary “failures” to avoid but moments to train your emotional muscles. Dr. Aziz shares stories from real client breakthroughs, including one man who concluded after a single awkward phone call that he should “never talk to a woman on the phone again.” Through humor and insight, Dr. Aziz reveals how easily we draw limiting conclusions and how much power we reclaim when we choose to stay in the discomfort zone just long enough to grow. 🚀 Ready to build true inner strength and shatter the limits of what you think you can handle? Tune in now and discover how to expand your capacity—and your confidence—with every step you take outside your comfort zone.-------------------------------- Do you feel anxious or uncomfortable when you’re asked to speak in front of a group, or when someone rejects you or doesn’t respond to your message? Do you find yourself holding back in social situations, worried about disapproval or judgment? If so, you’re not alone. Social anxiety and people-pleasing are patterns many people experience, but there is a powerful way out. And it’s simpler than you think: expand your capacity. The Truth About Your Capacity When I say expand your capacity, it may not sound like an exciting breakthrough at first. But trust me, it's the key to overcoming your social anxiety and living the confident, authentic life you’ve always wanted. Here’s what I mean: we all have a certain threshold for what we can handle. This can apply to physical tasks (like lifting weights) or emotional experiences (like handling rejection or failure). Stand-out Quote: "The more you expand your capacity to handle difficult situations, the less power they have over you." The problem for many people struggling with social anxiety is that their capacity for handling discomfort—like conflict, rejection, or disapproval—is very low. This leads to avoidance, which only perpetuates the cycle of anxiety. But the good news is, you can expand your capacity. It’s not set in stone, and it’s not determined by your DNA. It’s a skill you can develop. Why We Avoid Discomfort Here’s the catch: when we feel discomfort—whether it’s someone disagreeing with us or receiving rejection—we naturally want to avoid it. We’re wired to seek safety, and discomfort feels like a threat. But the more you avoid these feelings, the more they control you. The way out is to gradually expose yourself to these discomforts in manageable doses, which allows you to build emotional resilience. Stand-out Quote: "The key to overcoming social anxiety is not avoiding discomfort, but learning to face it with confidence." For example, let’s say you’re scared of conflict. You avoid confrontation, even if it’s necessary for a healthy relationship. This avoidance keeps you trapped. But when you start practicing handling conflict—starting small, like speaking up in a meeting or expressing your true feelings to a friend—you expand your capacity to tolerate discomfort. Over time, the fear that once felt paralyzing will lose its power. How to Expand Your Capacity: The Steps Start Small: Identify the areas of your life where your capacity is stretched—whether it’s speaking up for yourself, handling rejection, or dealing with conflict—and start small. Practice speaking your truth, even in low-stakes situations, like with a friend or coworker. Embrace Discomfort: Instead of running from the discomfort of being judged or disliked, lean into it. Let yourself feel uncomfortable without panicking. When you experience disapproval, remind yourself that it’s temporary. It’s just part of life, not a reflection of your worth. Challenge Your Beliefs: Often, we avoid things because we think we can’t handle them. But the truth is, you can. The more you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the more you’ll prove to yourself that you can handle discomfort. This builds your confidence in your ability to handle anything life throws at you. The Power of Gradual Exposure I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this strategy is for my clients. Take, for example, a client who once couldn’t talk to women without feeling overwhelmed with fear. After gradually building his confidence—starting with small conversations, then escalating to asking for phone numbers—he went from avoiding social situations to thriving in them. And you can do the same in your life. Stand-out Quote: "Expanding your capacity is the most effective way to break free from the shackles of social anxiety and people-pleasing." Action Step: What Will You Do to Expand Your Capacity? So, here’s your action step: Find something that stretches your capacity today. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, asking for what you need in a relationship, or handling rejection with grace, start expanding your limits. And remember, as you expand your capacity, the discomfort becomes manageable. With time, your confidence will grow, and you’ll feel more comfortable being your authentic self. The key to confidence isn’t avoiding discomfort—it’s embracing it. Final Thought: You’re not stuck in your current state. You can grow, change, and expand your capacity for handling life's challenges. Start small, be consistent, and soon you’ll notice a massive shift in your confidence and overall well-being. Take Action Now: What’s one thing you’re going to do today to expand your capacity? Share it in the comments below, and let’s support each other on this journey.
In this refreshing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into a deceptively simple question with massive implications: “Are you apologizing too much?” Most people don’t even realize how often they say “sorry”—not just in words, but in their tone, posture, and energy. If you constantly feel responsible for other people’s reactions, discomfort, or expectations—even when you didn’t do anything wrong—you’re likely trapped in a loop of unconscious over-apologizing. And that loop isn’t just exhausting—it’s eroding your confidence and subtly reshaping your relationships. Dr. Aziz breaks down how unnecessary apologies stem from overactive guilt systems and people-pleasing conditioning, often developed in childhood. You’ll discover how to recognize the difference between healthy, empathy-based apologies and guilt-driven ones that actually weaken connection. Plus, you’ll learn a simple internal filter: before apologizing, pause and ask yourself, “Did I actually do something wrong?” Then, try this bonus lens—what would I tell a friend to do in this situation? 🚀 Ready to recalibrate your guilt and stop saying sorry for simply existing? Tune into this episode now and begin reclaiming your power, one conscious choice at a time.----------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you find yourself apologizing all the time, even when you haven't done anything wrong? Or maybe you don’t even realize you’re saying "sorry" until it’s out of your mouth. It's a common habit, especially for those of us who struggle with people-pleasing and self-criticism. But here's the question: When is it necessary to apologize, and when should you hold back? Apologies: A Natural Part of Relationships Let’s start by acknowledging that apologizing is an important part of healthy relationships. We all make mistakes. Whether it's a sharp tone, being late, or forgetting a commitment, it's natural to feel the need to apologize when our actions have hurt someone. This helps repair the rupture, rebuild trust, and show the other person that we care about their feelings. But where's the line between necessary apologies and over-apologizing? When Apologies Become a Habit For many, apologizing becomes an unconscious habit. You might say “sorry” when someone is upset, even if you haven’t actually done anything wrong. This can happen in situations like: Not meeting someone’s expectations when you never agreed to meet them in the first place. Being blamed for something that wasn’t your fault. Feeling guilty whenever someone else feels upset, as if it’s automatically your fault. This automatic response can lead to a feeling of powerlessness, as if you’re constantly trying to manage others' emotions, even when it’s not your responsibility. The Impact of Over-Apologizing Over-apologizing has a few significant consequences: Lack of Boundaries: If you're constantly apologizing, you may start to overextend yourself, saying yes to things you don't want to do or compromising your own values to avoid conflict. Unconscious Resentment: Deep down, you may start to feel resentment because you're not being true to yourself. Over-apologizing can be draining and lead to emotional burnout. Loss of Self-Respect: By constantly taking responsibility for things you didn’t do, you diminish your own sense of self-worth. You may start to believe that you’re always at fault, which erodes your confidence over time. The Power of Holding Your Ground So how can we shift out of this habit? It starts with getting clear on your boundaries and understanding that you don't always need to apologize. You don’t have to cater to every person’s expectation of you. If someone is upset because you didn’t text them back immediately, for example, it doesn’t automatically mean you have done something wrong. Try this: Instead of apologizing, acknowledge the other person's feelings. You can say, "I see that you're upset," or "I understand that this might be disappointing for you." This shows empathy without taking on unnecessary guilt. Real-Life Example: The Guilt Mechanism A client of mine was working on a contract with a friend who was also a contractor. When she noticed discrepancies in the agreement, she felt guilty for asking for changes—though it was entirely reasonable. She felt compelled to apologize, as if her request was an inconvenience. But when we looked at it from a different perspective, she realized there was no reason to apologize. She wasn’t doing anything wrong by ensuring the contract reflected what they had discussed. By switching her mindset, she was able to assert herself clearly: “I’d like to address these issues before signing.” No apology necessary. And the result? The contractor updated the contract with no issue. Recalibrating Your Guilt Mechanism When you feel the urge to apologize, take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself: "Did I actually do something wrong?" Often, you’ll find that the guilt you’re feeling is misplaced. By becoming more aware of this impulse, you can recalibrate your own guilt mechanism. Action Step: The next time you feel the urge to apologize, pause. Ask yourself if it’s necessary. If you didn’t do anything wrong, simply acknowledge the situation without taking responsibility for it. This will help you regain your power and set healthier boundaries. Final Thoughts: The Key to Confidence Over-apologizing is a sign that you're living by others' expectations instead of your own values. It’s time to stop apologizing for simply being yourself and start owning your space in the world. When you do this, you’ll feel more empowered, respected, and confident—in your relationships, your career, and your life. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect. You’re allowed to make mistakes, and you’re allowed to stand firm in who you are without always saying “sorry.” It’s time to reclaim your confidence and live more authentically. You've got this. No more unnecessary apologies.
🌟 In this powerful episode of "Shrink for the Shy Guy," Dr. Aziz reveals one of the most effective—yet underused—tools for radically boosting confidence: massive action. Unlike cautious baby steps, massive action invites you to shift into a new gear, override hesitation, and start living instead of waiting. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or everyday interactions, the avoidance cycle keeps you stuck. But when you break that pattern and flood your nervous system with bold, repeated action, transformation happens fast. Through vivid stories, including a client who skyrocketed her confidence by shifting from one public talk a month to several a week, you’ll learn that confidence isn’t built by hoping or waiting—it’s built by doing. Dr. Aziz walks you through why this works, what resistance might show up, and how to overcome it. You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to take the leap. 🚀 Ready to finally stop avoiding and start becoming the confident, bold version of you? Tune in to this episode now and discover how to unlock the key you've already been holding. Your freedom starts here.---------------------------------------------- Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a cage of social anxiety, self-doubt, or people-pleasing? It’s an all-too-common experience. But what if I told you that the key to breaking free and radically transforming your confidence is already in your hands? In this post, we’re diving into one of the most powerful tools you can use to break free from these limitations—and why many people aren’t using it. The Secret to Confidence: Massive Action When it comes to building confidence, the tool I’m about to share might sound simple, but it’s one of the most effective principles I’ve come across in my 20+ years of personal growth and helping others. It’s based on both real-life experience and research, and it’s been proven to work. So, what’s the tool? Massive action. Sounds pretty intense, right? But here’s the thing: the key to getting out of your comfort zone and into a place of true self-assurance is by moving towards what scares you with intensity and urgency. The more we avoid the things that scare us, the stronger our anxiety and self-doubt become. The more we step into those fears, the more our confidence grows. Why We Avoid: The Cycle of Self-Doubt We all know the feeling of wanting to avoid situations that make us anxious—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, confronting someone in a relationship, or going after a big career opportunity. When we avoid, the anxiety increases, and we lose a little bit of our sense of power. This creates a negative cycle that only deepens the fear and self-doubt. We’re trapped. The other side of the equation is approach: moving towards the things that scare us. When we push through the fear and face it, we start to see that our negative predictions about the situation—“It’s going to go horribly”—are often not true. And with each small victory, we start building a new identity for ourselves: I can do this. I am capable. Why Massive Action Is the Answer Here’s where massive action comes in. You see, sometimes gradual steps just aren’t enough to create the breakthrough you need. If you’ve been tiptoeing around your fears for months, you might need to flip the script entirely. Massive action—doing things in larger, bolder doses—is what creates momentum. For example, let’s say you’re trying to overcome public speaking anxiety. Instead of signing up for one Toastmasters event every few weeks, what if you committed to speaking in front of an audience three times a week? I know, it sounds crazy, but the intensity of this action creates a level of momentum that gradual exposure just can’t match. You’ll short-circuit your fear and push yourself to the edge of what you thought was possible. The Energy Shift: Going from Defense to Offense When you move towards your fears with massive action, you shift from defense mode—where you’re guarding yourself against discomfort and uncertainty—to offense mode, where you’re actively creating the life you want. This energetic shift is what fuels confidence, and it’s what makes you attractive to others. It’s not about pretending you’re perfect or that you’ve got it all together. It’s about owning your value, showing up fully, and knowing that you’ve got what it takes to handle whatever comes your way. The Results of Massive Action Imagine the person who walks into a room with self-assurance—not because they’re the most polished or the most put-together, but because they’ve faced their fears, taken bold action, and no longer let the “I’m not enough” feeling control their life. Here’s the thing: The key to building confidence is taking action even when you don’t feel ready. That’s when the magic happens. You begin to see that the world doesn’t revolve around your fear of being “not enough”—it revolves around the action you’re willing to take, regardless of how you feel. Your Action Step: Choose Massive Action So, what’s next? It’s time to decide how you’re going to move forward. You have two options: Prepare for massive action: Take a few more small steps, build your momentum, and get ready to make a bigger leap. Take massive action now: If you feel ready, dive in headfirst and face your fears with urgency and intensity. The choice is yours, but know this: If you want to create the life you deserve, massive action is required. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up and taking bold steps toward your future. Final Thoughts: You Are Enough The biggest lie that holds people back is that they’re not enough. But the truth is, you are enough right now. What’s holding you back is the fear and the stories you’ve been telling yourself. Let’s break those stories and start taking massive action to create the life you’ve always wanted. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. You have the tools, the support, and the power to shift your life. It’s time to claim it.
Own Your Confidence: Be Unapologetically You!A glimpse from the latest episode of Get Your Sh*t Together Show with the special guest Dr. Aziz hosted by Amy Joy.Watch the full episode here.
Welcome to today’s episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy with Dr. Aziz — and today we’re going straight into one of the most common, painful, and persistent feelings that quietly runs so many lives: 👉 “I’m not enough.” This episode is for you if you’ve ever: Felt like no matter how much you do, it’s never quite enough Believed you had to prove your worth through achievement or perfection Avoided risks, opportunities, or putting yourself out there because of self-doubt Collapsed into hopelessness or excuses just to protect yourself from trying 🎯 Dr. Aziz breaks down: Why this feeling of “not enough” is a universal part of being human Why trying to fix it through more doing never works (just ask Tony Robbins!) How to stop confusing this feeling with reality The truth about your self-worth that no accomplishment (or failure) can touch A simple mindset shift to help you show up fully — even when that insecure voice gets loud If you're ready to stop being controlled by this invisible wall of “not enough,” tune in now and take back your freedom.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever catch yourself thinking, "I'm not good enough"? It's a common thought that can keep us stuck, whether we're pursuing relationships, career opportunities, or even personal growth. This persistent feeling of inadequacy can impact your confidence and stop you from taking bold actions. In this post, I'll share how to recognize this feeling, understand it, and break free from its grip, allowing you to create a life where you feel truly empowered and worthy. Understanding the "Not Enough" Feeling First things first: you are not alone. The feeling of “not enough” is a deeply human experience, and almost everyone grapples with it at some point in their lives. Whether it’s in relationships, career, or personal achievements, the fear of not being “enough” leads to a variety of behaviors and mindsets. So, what makes this feeling so powerful? It's rooted in the fear of loss—loss of love, connection, respect, or even survival. If I’m not enough, then I’ll lose something important, like love or worthiness. The key here is recognizing that this fear is not reality. It’s simply an emotional response to uncertainty, and once we understand that, we can begin to take control. Why "Proving Enough" Doesn't Work Most of us try to fix the “not enough” feeling by doing more. We hustle, work harder, or try to accumulate external symbols of success—titles, possessions, or achievements. The goal? To prove that we are worthy. But here’s the catch: doing more doesn’t make you enough. It’s an endless cycle. You can’t hustle your way to self-worth because the feeling of not being enough is never truly satisfied by external validation. Even once you achieve one goal, the sense of inadequacy may still linger. Real confidence doesn’t come from what you do; it comes from who you are. A Powerful Shift: Own Your Value What if you could break the cycle? The real secret to overcoming the “not enough” feeling is to own your value—not based on what you’ve done, but simply because you exist. Here’s the truth: Confidence comes from within. It’s about showing up with a mindset of abundance. When you believe that you are worthy, you stop feeling like you need to prove yourself to others. You begin to approach life with a healthy mindset, knowing that you are enough as you are. “Your energy is what makes you attractive—not your appearance, not your possessions, but the way you show up in the world.” — Dr. Aziz When you stop operating from a place of scarcity (like "I’m not good enough"), you become magnetic. You attract people, opportunities, and experiences because your energy exudes self-assurance and worth. The Power of Feeling Insecure (And Letting It Pass) One of the most powerful lessons you can learn is to feel your feelings instead of trying to avoid or suppress them. The feeling of “not enough” is simply a temporary emotional experience—it doesn’t define you. When you can create space for that feeling without needing to fix it, you break free from its control. Imagine a scenario where you feel insecure. Instead of getting caught in a loop of negative self-talk or trying to do more to prove yourself, allow yourself to feel the insecurity. Name it: “This is the feeling of insecurity.” Let it pass through you without clinging to it. Over time, this practice will reduce its power over you and make you more resilient. “The more you embrace feelings of insecurity, the more you free yourself from their control.” — Dr. Aziz Final Thoughts: You Are Enough The next time you feel like you’re not enough, remember: it’s just a feeling, not a reflection of your worth. By practicing self-awareness and embracing your emotions, you can overcome this limiting belief and step into your true confidence. Take a moment today to remind yourself: You are enough.
Rishi Dhillon
The best and most realest episode and speaking to I have ever heard.. thank you, this is really helped me ❤️🙏
Camille Wray
So is this geared towards dudes or can a socially anxious lady feel included in this audience too ...?
DanaB333
have no idea what BAF stands for but I guess I'll def learn when I listen to it
Raul Nguyen
I am looking for Jonathan Podcast to subscribe as well. Can you advice what it is?
Guigours
had to quit listening... the stereo thing is way too distracting... shame