Slate Conversations

The final installment of our series explores the conversations that most of us dread, like frank discussions of our differences or a negative performance review at work. We often anticipate that these chats will go badly—and end in hurt feelings or embarrassment—but there are proven ways to make them easier to navigate. Host Charles Duhigg talks with psychologist Jay Van Bavel about strategies for having the hardest conversations. And: Vernā Myers, Netflix’s former vice president for inclusion strategy, tells the story of what happened inside the company after an executive was fired for using a racial slur.  This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators. The guides we mention in this episode can be found at charlesduhigg.com/tools/ Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s show, we throw a flower-sprinkled dinner party for a space clone (personal beehive not included). Slate culture staff writer Nadira Goffe sits in for Dana, and the hosts discuss the new Bong Joon Ho film Mickey 17, followed by Meghan Markle's uncanny homemaking show With Love, Meghan on Netflix.  Finally, we invite Slate writer Dan Kois to discuss his new cover story “How Giant White Houses Took Over America.” Endorsements: Julia: The Slate article “Cracking the Code” by Henry Grabar Steve: The New York Review essay “Angles of Approach” by Sally Rooney Nadira: Kelela’s album In The Blue Light Podcast production and research by Vic Whitley-Berry. Email us at culturefest@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For most of her life, Elizabeth was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which forbids having sex outside of marriage. But she recently left the Mormon faith, and now she’s ready to have sex for the first time—at age 43. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin to offer Elizabeth advice that’s relevant to anyone who’s ready to tap into their sexuality later in life—but unsure how (or where! or with whom!) to start. If you liked this episode check out: How To Orgasm, How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy, and How To Be Free of Body Shame Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anna talks to writer Ada Calhoun, author most recently of the novel Crush, about a married woman succumbing to extramarital temptation (she wrote it while she herself was separating from her husband) and then to comedian Rosebud Baker about her new Netflix comedy special, The Mother Lode, which is all about late-stage pregnancy and early motherhood. This episode was recorded live at On Air Fest in New York City on February 20th.  Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Jamilah, Zak and Elizabeth answer a question from someone who’s not a parent — and not even a stepmom, yet! This member of the Slate Parenting Facebook group is dating a single mom and wondering how to make meeting the kids and joining the family as seamless as possible. We’ll help her out and then check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we're talking about how to handle it when your kid is being an un-fun butthead. If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Jamilah’s check-in: gig hunting. Elizabeth’s check-in: island time.  Zak’s check-in: sick season.   Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Podcast produced by Maura Currie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by Real Housewives alumna and Humble Brag podcast host Crystal Kung Minkoff. Together, they answer questions about feeling conflicted over an ex living their best life post-divorce, navigating a friendship after someone breaks the other’s trust, and asking for financial help. Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Daisy Rosario. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth and Jamilah talk about building a village. Our listener wants to create a community of parents and kids who hang out and trust each other. The question is: how intentional do you have to be, here? And after that discussion, we’ll of course circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Podcast produced by Maura Currie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s show, no amount of star power can save a “screamingly stupid show.” (Sorry, Robert De Niro et al.)  With Sam Adams—Slate Senior Editor and Staff Writer—sitting in for Dana, the team talks about the Netflix political thriller series Zero Day. Then they remember the career of Gene Hackman and end with their thoughts about this Atlantic article on navigating optimism during times of crisis. Endorsements: Julia: Moist Peanut Butter Cake Recipe from Cakes By MK Steve: The savage suburbia of Helen Garner: ‘I wanted to dong Martin Amis with a bat’ by Sophie Elmhirst for The Guardian Sam: Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein (Again! After Julia endorsed it last week.) Podcast production and research by Vic Whitley-Berry. Email us at culturefest@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Interviews are a time-honored way to elicit intimate insights from public figures and people in power. But at a moment when so much history is being denied or even deleted, interviewing family members and elders can be an important way to document their lives—and understand more about ourselves. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Sam Fragoso, host of the podcast Talk Easy. Sam explains what he’s learned from hundreds of longform celebrity interviews, and how he applied those lessons to sit-downs with his parents. If you liked this episode check out: The Art of the On-Mic Interview or How To Ace an Interview Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. How To is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Since the inauguration in January, we’ve been getting emails and voice recordings from people whose lives have been thrust into uncertainty due to changes made by the Trump administration. Many federal workers and people who rely on federal money have lost their jobs. Others feel vulnerable and uncertain.  This week, we’ll hear from a range of people who’ve been affected, from an IRS attorney who’s been a target of Elon Musk’s DOGE efforts to an army sergeant who could very likely be forced out of her post because she’s trans.  Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy, Zak and Elizabeth think about summer break. There’s a budding conversation in the Slate Parenting Facebook group about the life skills we should have kids work on over the summer – think shoe-tying, kitchen stuff, and riding a bike. We’ll share some of the Facebook Group’s ideas, and some stuff we’re going to work on. We’ll also check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we're talking about gentle parenting… and more specifically, the movement to ditch it.  If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Lucy’s check-in: thoroughly “in it.” Elizabeth’s check-in: the great shoe caper. Zak’s check-in: don’t go to every birthday party. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Podcast produced by Maura Currie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it that we can tell someone “I’m totally fine!” and they instantly know we’re not? Gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and other subtle nonverbal cues play a huge role in how we connect with one another.  In this episode, host Charles Duhigg explores how we communicate without words, including a deep dive into the visual and tonal cues embedded in one of the biggest sitcoms of all time, The Big Bang Theory.  He talks with Dr. Dustin York, a professor at Maryville University who studies nonverbal communication and worked in public relations for Barack Obama’s 2008 presidential campaign. He also sits down with Dave Goetsch, a co-executive producer and longtime writer for The Big Bang Theory, and journalist Jessica Radloff, who wrote an exhaustive book about the show.  This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators.  Supercommunicators was produced by Sophie Summergrad and Derek John, who also did the sound design. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by writer and YouTube essayist Princess Weekes.  Together, they answer questions about reconciling with a daughter after a huge fight, navigating toxic inlaws and making boundaries with selfish parents. Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Daisy Rosario. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this week’s show, we preview the Oscars and Trump’s demolition throughout renowned institutions of art. Isaac Butler — author of The Method: How the Twentieth Century Learned to Act and host of the new Criterion Channel series, The Craft of Acting — sits in for Stephen Metcalf. First, the hosts discuss I’m Still Here and the continued addition of non-English speaking films getting some of the biggest Oscar buzz. Then we tackle the latest Trump shakeups at the National Endowment for the Arts and The Kennedy Center. Finally, Dana and Julia sit down with the CEO of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Bill Kramer. Endorsements: Dana: The documentary Pictures of Ghosts (2023) Julia: Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein, also discussed on Culture Gabfest in September 2023 Isaac: The film Z (1969), available on streaming Podcast production and research by Vic Whitley-Berry. Email us at culturefest@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May’s father nearly lost $4,000 to an online scam. How can she protect him from future fraud? On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kathy Stokes, director of fraud prevention programs at AARP. She also runs their Fraud Watch Network. Kathy helps May rethink how she’s talking to her parents about cyber scams—she explains steps that everyone can take to avoid becoming a crime victim. If you or someone you know has been the victim of cyber fraud, you can contact AARP’s helpline at 877-908-3360. Liked this episode? heck out: How To Beat Hackers at Their Own Game and How To Steal Back Your Identity Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s supervising producer is Joel Meyer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis.  Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When comedian Chelsea Devantez began writing her memoir, she knew exactly where to start: with a teenage relationship that spiraled into domestic violence. But when she submitted her draft, lawyers informed her she legally couldn't name her abuser or detail what happened. "I threw the book in the trash for a few months," Chelsea recalls. After consulting friends and family, she decided to continue writing with a new approach. "Instead of telling my story, I would try to tell the story of how our systems are set up to silence." In this episode, Chelsea and Anna also discuss how a complex PTSD diagnosis helped explain puzzling personality traits, friendship breakups, family secrets, and navigating a male-dominated, rich kid comedy scene. Chelsea Devantez’s memoir is called I Shouldn't Be Telling You This: (But I'm Going to Anyway), and she has a podcast called Glamorous Trash: A Celebrity Memoir Podcast.  Podcast production by Zoe Azulay and Andrew Dunn. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy, Zak and Elizabeth tackle a letter from a mom who feels like she’s living in Wrestlemania. This mom and dad love tickle fights and wrestling with their two boys — but the younger one isn’t so good at honoring a tap-out. So, we’ll talk about how to prevent, or at least pause, the wrestling match before anyone gets hurt. We’ll also check in and share what’s on our minds this week. Then, if you’re hanging out for the Slate Plus Playground, we’re talking about parenting burnout. Lucy’s check-in: don’t let the list run your life Elizabeth’s check-in: scheduling emails… waaaay out Zak’s check-in: Ami’s a real Beatles fan If you’re not part of the Slate Plus community, we hope you’ll consider joining! Keep reading to learn how. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Podcast produced by Maura Currie. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here… In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life. He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.” This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators.  Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.  Our technical director is Merritt Jacob.  Joel Meyer is our supervising producer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Prudie Kristen Meinzer is joined by advice columnist Adrienne Lee and James Beard Award nominee and writer Nylah Iqbal Muhammad.  Together, they answer questions about whether a spouse actually owes their partner an apology, a fiance anxious about future family finances, and someone trying to figure out whether or not to follow their supervisor’s suggestions at work. Want more Dear Prudence? Subscribe to Slate Plus to immediately unlock weekly bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Or, visit slate.com/prudie-plus to get access wherever you listen. This week’s podcast is produced by Maura Currie, Vic Whitley-Berry, and Daisy Rosario. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Elizabeth, Lucy and Zak answer a listener’s voicemail about planning a field trip to DC — and trying to avoid politics. The parents at this school have very different politics than our listener, and the listener’s already gotten her 10-year-old to agree to skip the White House… but is that the right call? And can you even avoid politics on a history lover’s tour of DC? And after that discussion, we’ll of course circle up for a round of triumphs and fails. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Podcast produced by Maura Currie.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices