Slate Conversations

When clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and complex trauma survivor Dr. Ingrid Clayton learned about fawning — the fourth “F” after fight, flight, and freeze — she felt like this was the missing piece that explained her whole life. On this episode of How To!, Ingrid talks to Courtney Martin about what can happen when you find yourself in a chronic fawning response, and how to break free. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After the blockbuster success of her first book, Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat, Samin Nosrat felt pressure to follow it up with something big. But when depression and grief hit, she was forced to slow down and accept help (and cooking) from people around her. In this episode, Samin talks about getting "chef 911" texts from friends on Thanksgiving, new romance, and finding happiness outside of success. Samin’s new cookbook is Good Things: Recipes and Rituals to Share with People You Love Listen to How to Face Your Fears With Steve-O, Laurel Braitman, and Rev. angel Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. Use the promo code DSM50 for half off through the end of the year! And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/DSM⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen are saying goodbye to clutter! Elizabeth just made yet another massive move to Hawaii and she’s revealing all her hacks, tips, and tricks for unpacking and organizing in a new house. Lucy and Zak weigh in with their own tips for keeping their houses from being overrun with clutter - especially around the holidays.  Check out our YouTube page!  Podcast production by Cheyna Roth. Video production by Micah Phillips. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by Gen Z expert and After School writer Casey Lewis to talk about how Gen Z TikTok users are switching up on Millennials. After years of mocking the generation for being “cringe” online, now people are longing to return to the 2010s and the culture that came with it. But were Millennials really as “optimistic” as the fancams make it seem? And what does Gen Z have, if anything, to be nostalgic about?  This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have a listener in the midst of a Blue Holiday. A long-time listener and her kids are grieving the loss of her husband this holiday season. She wants thoughts about navigating this time of year while still feeling such a big loss.  To navigate this sensitive topic, the ‘Rents are joined by Jessica Correnti, a certified child life specialist who specializes in psychosocial and emotional support to children and families facing stress and anxiety related to illness, hospitalization, and the death of a loved one. They discuss the importance of knowing that there’s not a right or wrong way to navigate the holiday with grief, the unique grieving process that kids go through compared to adults, how to be there for grieving people, and more.  But first, they share their latest triumphs and fails. Zak has the ultimate fail calling out a seven-year-old for wearing shorts during a Michigan winter; Lucy misses a theater event; and Elizabeth successfully moved to Hawaii.  Podcast production by Cheyna Roth. Video production by Micah Phillips.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Use promo code CF50 to get 50% off for the rest of the year! Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by senior reporter at Bloomberg Businessweek, Amanda Mull, to talk about how the enshittification of online shopping came for Etsy. The platform used to be a thoughtful reprieve from the cheap, mass-produced products on Amazon, but now it’s plagued by a number of the same problems. With cheap junk and AI allegations abound, where can the Shein and Temu-haters go to actually find what they’re shopping for? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slate staff writer Rebecca Onion wants to improve her singing voice, but she’s unsure about belting it out in public. On this episode, How To!’s Carvell Wallace introduces her to G. Phillip Shoultz III, associate director of VocalEssence, for advice on strengthening her voice, performing with confidence, and (gasp!) auditioning for a vocal group. If you liked this episode check out How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song With Ben Folds.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The British poet Raymond Antrobus was six years old when his parents and doctors realized that his ears couldn’t recognize a whole range of sounds. He was fitted with hearing aids and began a life of straddling the Deaf and hearing worlds, going to speech therapy and reading lips, learning British sign language, and attending both Deaf and hearing schools. By necessity, Raymond became an expert in communication and miscommunication, which are recurring themes in his poetry.  This week, Anna talks to Raymond about his memoir The Quiet Ear: An Investigation of Missing Sound and what it was like growing up with a “panicky sensitivity to misunderstandings.” This episode was produced by Cameron Drews. Get more Death, Sex & Money with Slate Plus! Membership is 50% off, which means $59 for a whole year of ad-free listening and special episode drops across all Slate podcasts, PLUS unlimited reading on Slate.com and the Slate app, every Slate Game AND you’ll be supporting Slate’s independent journalism at a moment where independent journalism needs all the support it can get. Go to slate.com/dsmplus and use the promo code DSM50.  If you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen are doing a double listener question episode! First up, a parent is OVER their current television show rotation. The ‘Rents give recommendations for shows in the eight-year-old to fifteen-year-old range that aren’t overly preachy or totally mindless. Then, they sympathize with a parent dealing with a clingy sixteen-month-old who won’t stop screaming and going full Hulk-mode every time a tiny thing goes wrong. They commiserate and give advice - including considering getting a second medical opinion and, maybe, just telling the kid that the yogurt bites are going in the bowl, end of discussion!     Mentioned in the Show: Bluey Knows Best - Care and Feeding Common Sense Media Podcast production by Cheyna Roth. Video production by Micah Phillips.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ten years ago, the alt-right’s talking points about immigration used to be too toxic to even post on the internet under your own name. So how did they turn into something President Trump regularly fires off on social media? Guest: Zack Beauchamp, senior correspondent for Vox. Want more What Next? Subscribe to Slate Plus to access ad-free listening to the whole What Next family and across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe today on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of our show page. Sign up now at slate.com/whatnextplus to get access wherever you listen. Podcast production by Elena Schwartz, Paige Osburn, Anna Phillips, Madeline Ducharme, and Rob Gunther. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, host Kate Lindsay is joined by culture writer Mikala Jamison to talk about the rise in online concern about celebrities’ bodies. Mikala writes the newsletter Body Type, and her forthcoming book The Forever Project details her recovery from an eating disorder. Following the premiere of movies like Wicked: For Good, fan concern and speculation about celebrity bodies has culminated in a larger discussion about the return of “this is in.” But did “thin” really ever go away? And what is the right way, if any, to talk about it? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen take a listener question about how to be there for a fellow parent who is going through a hard time. The listener’s friend’s kid is acting out and causing lots of stress. They toss around ideas about ways friends have shown up for them, ideas for support without smothering, and more. But first, they share their latest Triumphs and Fails. Lucy survives a trip to the wilderness with her family, Elizabeth survives an international trip with the kids as the only parent (and gets praise for their behavior!), and Zak is clearly raising a cool kid. Podcast production by Cheyna Roth. Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode host Kate Lindsay is joined by senior supervising producer Daisy Rosario to unpack the 25-part TikTok saga titled the “Danish Deception.” After a former Bachelor contestant came forward with a story about her scamming ex, TikTok turned on her instead. Why didn’t Onyeka get the Reesa Teesa treatment? And who is the real villain of this story? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the year-end giving season underway, you might be wondering how much to donate and where you can make the biggest impact. On this Giving Tuesday, How To!’s Courtney Martin brings on Grace Chiang Nicolette of the Center for Effective Philanthropy to explain how to pick the right organizations and ensure your dollar goes as far as possible—regardless of how much you’re giving.  You can hear more of Grace on her podcast, Giving Done Right. If you liked this episode, check out How To Harness Your Citizen Superpowers and How To Lead Your Local Nonprofit.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sarah Amos says the best way to describe her childhood is as a “nepo-baby fever dream.” She grew up in a pink mansion in Hawaii where celebrities often dropped by, and the fridge was always stocked with cookie dough made from her father’s famous recipe. Wally Amos founded Famous Amos cookies in 1975, but by the time Sarah was in middle school, he had sold the company and their house was in foreclosure. As Sarah grew up, her father never stopped chasing the success he’d once had with Famous Amos, a pursuit that pushed them apart. Listen to Sarah’s new podcast about her father from Vanity Fair: Tough Cookie: The Wally “Famous” Amos Story Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode: Lucy Lopez, Elizabeth Newcamp, and Zak Rosen have animal talk! They’re joined by zoo consultant Megan Sanders to talk about ways to help kids feel or involved in making the world a better place for animals.  But first, the hosts have an Every Day Carry segment! They share everything that’s currently in their bags - from favorite snacks to boredom busters and more.  Podcast production by Cheyna Roth. Video production by Micah Phillips.  Join us on Facebook and email us at careandfeedingpod@slate.com to ask us new questions, tell us what you thought of today’s show, and give us ideas about what we should talk about in future episodes. You can also call our phone line: (646) 357-9318. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get to hang out with us on the Plus Playground every week for a whole additional grab-bag of content — and you’ll get an ad-free experience across the network. And you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on Care and Feeding. Sign up now at slate.com/careplus – or try it out on Apple Podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode host Kate Lindsay is joined by creator and social media manager Carmen Vicente to chat about the rise of offline hobbies, and how crafts, DVDs, and something called an “analog bag” are being used as acts of rebellion against an overly plugged-in society. But does this really mean the beginning of the end of social media? Probably not. Instead, Carmen shares how apps as we know them are about to change.  This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode host Kate Lindsay is joined by I <3 Mess writer Emily Kirkpatrick to discuss the influx of celebrities joining Substack. As two long-time Substack newsletter writers themselves, the pair dive into all of these new celebrity publications…including the parts they may not know readers can see. What does it say about the state of celebrity that so many are becoming writers—and do they even have anything to say? This podcast is produced by Vic Whitley-Berry, Daisy Rosario, and Kate Lindsay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It wasn’t long after Melody Warnick moved to Blacksburg, Va., that she realized its nickname—“Bleaksburg”—wasn’t a joke. Feeling stuck, she devised a research-based experiment to acclimate to her new city. On this episode: Melody explains how she went from hating Blacksburg to loving it (and how you can deepen your connection to the place where you live).  Listen to part one of our conversation here: How to Move to a New City.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Survive a Disaster and Quick Fix: Meet Your Neighbors Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the Metropolitan Community Church was founded in the late sixties, it was one of the first gay positive churches in America. When AIDS hit, it became a refuge for people who were sick and those who were mourning them.  In this episode, Anna talks to researcher Lynne Gerber, about finding boxes of cassettes under the church floor in an MCC church in San Francisco, and how those recordings of sermons and songs became a podcast about finding community and comfort during a crisis.  Lynne Gerber is the host of the 10-episode series When We All Get to Heaven. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices