Sleeping Around

In this episode of Sleeping Around, Alayna sits down with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in helping men redefine masculinity, consent, and intimacy. They dive into complex topics like male vulnerability, emotional regulation, and unpacking harmful aspects of the "manosphere." Dr. FitzMedrud shares insights into consent, the importance of emotional connection, and advice on fostering authentic relationships. Whether you identify as a man or not, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on masculinity today. We answer essential questions like: - How can men learn to express vulnerability in a way that feels safe and authentic? - What role does emotional regulation play in building stronger relationships? - How does the "manosphere" impact men’s perceptions of masculinity and intimacy? - What does genuine consent look like, and how can it enhance mutual pleasure in relationships? Eric FitzMedrud is a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives by learning to regulate their emotions, removing sexual entitlement, and honing their sexual consent and negotiation skills. FitzMedrud is a member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. He’s the award-winning author of “The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex” and he’s been published in academic books, and an academic journal. He’s spoken at multiple conferences, trained therapists, and taught many graduate courses in psychology. FitzMedrud has a PhD in Clinical Psychology. He is polyamorous and bisexual, and lives with his wife of twenty-four years and his life partner of seven years in San Francisco’s East Bay area. Connect with @DrEricFitz Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drericfitz  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drericfitz  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drericfitz  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@drericfitz  Read The Better Man by Eric FitzMedrud Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Better-Man-Consent-Stronger-Relationships/dp/1637560354  Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-better-man-eric-fitzmedrud/1143136034?ean=9781637560358  Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-better-man-a-guide-to-consent-stronger-relationships-and-hotter-sex-eric-fitzmedrud/19810038?ean=9781637560358 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We dive into the world of asexuality in this week’s episode of Sleeping Around, with journalist and author Angela Chen. Angela's book, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, sheds light on this often-misunderstood identity. Angela and Alayna explore questions like: How can someone recognize a lack of sexual attraction if they've never felt it? Can asexual individuals still enjoy intimacy and sex? How can ace and allo partners create fulfilling relationships together? What does asexuality actually mean, and how is it different from celibacy? This episode isn’t just for those identifying on the ace spectrum but for anyone seeking to understand and broaden their perspectives on sexuality, desire, and the ways we connect with one another. Join us for an eye-opening conversation that challenges conventional ideas and highlights the importance of inclusivity in understanding diverse experiences. Angela Chen is a journalist and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, named one of the best books of 2020 by NPR. Her reporting and essays have also appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Paris Review, and more.  Buy Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=B088H9X9Z1&i=digital-text&_encoding=UTF8&shoppingPortalEnabled=true Website: https://www.angelachen.org/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into a thought-provoking conversation as I welcome acclaimed erotic filmmaker Erica Lust to Sleeping Around. In this episode, we explore the world of ethical feminist porn- breaking down stereotypes, sharing behind-the-scenes stories, and redefining narratives on sexuality and representation. Lust sheds light on how her films focus on real pleasure, diversity, and empowerment in ways mainstream media often overlooks. Whether you're curious about ethical filmmaking or interested in fostering healthier perspectives on intimacy, join us for an eye-opening discussion that challenges and inspires! Lust answers questions like: - What defines ethical feminist porn, and how does it differ from mainstream pornography? - How can feminist porn challenge harmful stereotypes and reshape how we view pleasure, desire, and consent? - How can adults introduce ethical porn into their personal or shared relationships in a healthy way? - How do real experiences and emotions fit into filmed portrayals of intimacy, and how does that impact authenticity in adult media?  Erika Lust is an award-winning indie erotic filmmaker. Her work confronts pornography that focuses solely on male pleasure and sexual athletics by focusing on the eroticism of human sexuality and relationships through beautiful cinematography. She refuses to typecast performers based on their age, race, sexuality, or gender, and her movies represent a wide range of human body shapes, identities, and sexualities. In addition to this, Erika has built a diverse (online & offline) community of sex-positive creators and artists. Over the past 20 years, Erika Lust has gone from strength to strength and has directed many adult feature films and series, over 130 short films, and produced around 150 more. Connect with Erika Lust: Website: https://erikalust.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/erikalustfilms/?hl=en Else Cinema: https://www.instagram.com/else.cinema/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Sleeping Around, I sit down with Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research. Dr. Neff shares insights from her groundbreaking work on mindful self-compassion, discussing how it transforms our relationship with ourselves and others. Listen in for some practical tips for developing your own self-compassion practice and discover how this essential skill can improve your well-being! We answer questions like:  What are the myths about self-compassion that often hold people back from practicing it? How can self-compassion help us set boundaries and avoid burnout? What are some practical steps or exercises someone can take to start cultivating self-compassion? Why do so many people find it difficult to be kind to themselves, even though they easily offer compassion to others? Dr. Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. She is a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research, conducting the first empirical studies on self-compassion more than twenty years ago. She has been recognized as one of the most influential researchers in psychology worldwide. Kristin runs the Self-Compassion Community, an online learning platform where people can learn the skill of self-compassion with the help of others. She is author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion and Fierce Self-Compassion. Along with her colleague Chris Germer, she developed the empirically-supported Mindful Self-Compassion program and co-founded the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion. They called co-wrote the best-selling The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook and have a new book called Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout. For more info go to self-compassion.org. Take a free Self-Compassion test! : https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/ Join the Self-Compassion Community: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-community/ Connect with Dr. Kristen Neff: Self-Compassion Community Twitter Facebook Instagram Books Fierce Self-Compassion Self-Compassion The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook Teaching the Mindful Self-Compassion Program Mindful Self-Compassion For Burnout  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trigger Warning: in this episode we discuss sexual trauma. The episode does not contain graphic detail but does include the story of Jimanekia's assault and discussion of sexual trauma in various forms. Take care of yourself! In this episode, I chat with Jimanekia about healing from trauma and the role of community in recovery. We discuss steps for survivors re-entering the dating world, essential self-care practices, and key advice for partners supporting a survivor. A thoughtful conversation on intimacy, connection, and healing. What are the steps someone should take when they want to start dating again after experiencing trauma? What self-care practices are recommended for survivors? What are the most important things to keep in mind when being the partner of a survivor? Jimanekia Eborn is a Queer Sexual Assault & Trauma Expert, Trauma Media Consultant, and Comprehensive Sex Educator, who has worked in mental health for the past 16 years in sex education and sexual trauma support. Jimanekia is the Founder of Tending the Garden, a non-profit for sexual assault survivors of different marginalized identities and Co-founder of Cintima, bringing increased representation to the field of Intimacy Coordination in the film industry. Connect with Jimanekia: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimanekia/?hl=en Website: https://traumaqueen.love/ X: https://x.com/jimanekia Don’t forget to follow the show on Instagram: @sleepingaroundpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What are the most important questions couples should ask before getting married? In today’s episode, Allison Raskin and I explore everything to do with modern marriage, diving into the pressures of gender roles, whether or not we should normalize divorce, accepting your partner vs pushing for change, and more. We also tackle essential questions like: How does OCD affect relationships? What are the right questions to ask before saying “I do”? How do I voice my mental health needs in a relationship? Allison Raskin is a New York Times bestselling author and a leading voice in mental health advocacy, in addition to being an accomplished screenwriter and content creator. She co-hosts the popular podcast Just Between Us and created the Emotional Support Lady Instagram and Substack. Her latest book, I Do (I Think): Conversations About Modern Marriage will be released by HarperCollins in October, 2024.  Connect with Allison Raskin: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allisonraskin/?hl=en I Do (I Think): https://www.harpercollins.com/products/i-do-i-think-allison-raskin?variant=41480971976738 Emotional Support Lady Substack: https://emotionalsupportlady.substack.com/ Just Between Us: https://www.youtube.com/justbetweenus Overthinking About You: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/allison-raskin/overthinking-about-you/9781523513222/?lens=workman-publishing-company Don’t forget to follow the show on Instagram: @sleepingaroundpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode we delve into the complexities of gender and pleasure for all bodies. We explore gender fluidity and the balance between finding pleasure and dysphoria, while offering practical tips for gender expansion in solo and partnered sexual experiences. We also tackle questions like: - What is gender mercuriality? - Should we be aiming for gender euphoria? - How do we avoid the pitfalls of gender dysphoria when exploring sexuality?  - What is muffing?  Lucie Fielding, PhD, LPC, LMHC (she/they) is a queer, trans misogyny-affected (TMA) femme, and a therapist practicing in Virginia and Washington (on Monacan and unceded Duwamish land, respectively). In addition to being a therapist, Lucie is a sex and kink educator and the author of Trans Sex: Clinical Approaches to Trans Sexualities and Erotic Embodiments (2021), which was named a 2022 Lambda Literary Award finalist (in the Trans-Nonfiction category) and the winner of the 2022 AASECT Book Award (Book for Sexuality Professionals), the 2024 SSTAR Health Professionals Book Award, and the 2024 APA Division 44 Distinguished Book Award.  You can find out more about Lucie at https://luciefielding.com or follow them on Instagram (@sexbeyondbinaries) or BlueSky (@sexbeyondbinaries.bsky.social). Don’t forget to follow the show on Instagram: @sleepingaroundpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the first ever episode of Sleeping Around! What are some of the most common concerns that couples bring to therapy? In today’s episode Kate Moyle and I dive into why 40% of people report dissatisfaction with their sex life, how sexual communication can transform your relationship, and what happens when desire fades over time. We also tackle essential questions like:  How much sex is normal?  How do desire and arousal differ?  What is arousal non-concordance?  Kate Moyle is a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist, Psycho-Sexologist and author of The Science of Sex which was published in September 2023. She also hosts The Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast which provides a deep dive into a different topic of sex and relationships with experts, and one of her missions is bringing normalising conversations about sex out from the therapy room and into the mainstream to help adults get the sex education they want across the lifetime. Connect with Kate Moyle: Website: Kate Moyle Therapy Instagram: @KateMoyleTherapy Podcast: The Sexual Wellness Sessions Book: The Science of Sex Don’t forget to follow the show on Instagram: @sleepingaroundpod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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