Slop Quest

  Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Andy starts eating eggs when he runs out of tofu and quickly realizes his stomach can no longer process it. Ryan muses on pumping meat sauce down his bathroom sink and wiping with aluminum foil. Andy figures out why tits are growing out of his ass then has a meltdown trying to paint titties on a pin up statuette. Ryan figures out a business idea for being a tit doctor that only works on strippers. The boys talk about the legal loopholes for bottom nudity in states that make it illegal. The boys then come up with an idea for “educational strip clubs” where you have to stay in the club until you answer anatomy questions. Andy recommends that Ryan respond to messages from his ex for the lols. Then they talk about the cyclical nature of idiotic relationships. Andy has a revelation about his relationship and Ryan forgets that he kissed Andy’s belly. Andy pitches a podcast where he does bits with his wife while they fuck and Ryan is behind a screen also doing bits. They talk about the robot lady who shocks Trump while he’s sleeping during a press conference. Ryan worries that using Chinese stars to defend his apartment. There’s some human hunting talk and wasting helicopter fuel watching ladies sunbathe naked on Los Angeles roofs. Then they fantasize about Andy being a race car driver who eats chicken wings and shits through a hole in the car floor during races.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The boys open the show with impressions of Sean Connery being racist. This leads to garrison Keillor impressions. There’s some medi-evac talk. Then they talk about how bad they would both be as spies. Then they talk about why fighter pilots need two people in the cockpit: to operate the cd player and George Formen grills. Ryan insists that scientists don’t know how wings work. Then they come up with a curriculum for fighter pilot school. Andy blows Ryan’s mind with the idea of a “provisional license” and is finally proven right on a fact. Ryan reveals that he would be a bad father because he wouldn’t let his kid touch his Porsche posters with syrup all over their hands. Ryan then invents a shower bidet that’s just a slightly smaller shower for your ass. Andy falls in love with Sword and Buckler while Ryan makes fun of his “tiny little shield”. Ryan, Andy and Google AI get into a heated argument about Bang Bus. This leads to an argument over the legality of blasting fuck noises on giant speakers throughout a neighborhood. This leads to a crash out where Ryan tells google Ai that Andy has an iq of 82. This crescendos with Andy absolutely losing his shit on Ryan and screaming at him.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest The boys talk about the absurd Texas crack down on Delta -8 THC then Andy worries about Ryan being a bad boy. Ryan insists that street fighting is the dumbest idea. Andy figures out a way to charm his way out of crime. Andy reveals the shocking truth about Bang Bus to a heartbroken Ryan and the shocking legal case that decided it. Ryan then reveals the macabre realities of living on a farm. Andy uncovers the truth about lab grown meat to a disgusted Ryan and they milk this disgusting bit forever…and the facts are truly disgusting and unsettling.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan accuses Andy of being too horny to drive and then recounts a time one of his buddies wrecked his car looking at a hot chick. Andy gets bamboozled by a monster hog at a stoplight. Ryan tries a fake Andy out with a bogus The Rock Mandela effect. Andy gets confused about when to record and sleeps in. Ryan imagines Los Angeles delivery robots offing themselves due to traffic on the 405. Ryan roasts Andy for how he handles podcasting solo. Andy has a dream about seeing the pods from The Matrix. Ryan asserts that he would fight the robot overlords and Andy would sell out humanity for big butts. Ryan comes up with an idea for an app that forces important emails into the spam folder to CYA. Andy gets a comment from long time listener, “Bloody Turd”. Andy and Ryan dissect thirsty Reddit comments. Ryan fantasizes about writing a pickup artist book. Ryan finds out that Hillary Duff is jacked now. Ryan then roasts Andy’s google investigation skills. Andy is not impressed with Ryan’s “Hema, more like FEMA” wordplay. RFJ Jr. starts a “cheap food” cooking show. Los Angeles starts to feel the pressure as all the pipes from 1914 start to burst. Andy’s buddy tries to make a candle out of George Foreman beef grease. Andy ruins the shared waffle maker by trying to make protein powder waffles. The boys bring back some Garrison Keillor impressions. Ryan tries to come up with his boxing name. Andy recommends the Netflix anime, Chainsmoker Cat. Then Andy gets into a Pluderhosen argument post hema.

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan and Andy address some good and bad comments. Andy hears from an old Beach Cops host and it’s actually pretty nice. An episode of Slop Quest comes on Andy’s car stereo at a bad time. Ryan suggests more baby doll chicanery and Andy isn’t having it. Andy goes to Jerry’s funeral and Big Earl Skakel surprises Andy from behind by heckling heartfelt speakers directly into Andy’s ear and it’s so inappropriate and hilarious that Andy has to stare at the floor the entire time. Comedians come out of the woodwork to talk about Jerry’s passing without realizing Jerry hated them. Earl comments on the quality of the babes at Jerry’s funeral and Andy and Mike Black eat an entire plate of pizza at the memorial. Earl then talks about how big his dick is in the middle of the service. Andy finds his old martial arts supply catalogue and Ryan and him reminisce about the “Ninja Industry”. Ryan loses all his Chinese stars at airport security and it puts a heavy dent in his collection. Ryan has a Mandela effect for “infront”as one word. Ryan has to review video footage of his kitchen to remember he turned off the stove. Ryan has a problem with teenagers and their confidence with their ideas. Andy comes up with a new comic idea where witches can only cast spells via their farts and Ryan roasts the shit out of him. Ryan tries to convince Andy to change the title. Ryan pitches his karate microdrama where he does karate from a wheelchair.