Slop Quest

Full episodes and much more available on Patreon.com/SlopQuest Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! O’Neill & Andy remember the old Church of Latter Day Saints commercials. This leads them to speculate on the pros and cons polygamy and this leads to a few disagreements as well as a business idea for a “ball sauna” to help the husbands plow. Then Andy pitches an idea where people are knocked out for all their flights and shoved into tubes. The boys reminisce about how Andy behaved on Kratom. Then they talk about popping RFK jr’s  heart rate monitors on dogs to trick the government. Andy talks about a white lady in the audience crying while being empowered by a joke about doodies balls. They talk about using O’Neill’s 5’9 bit as a way of speaking truth to power. Then they talk about comedian angry freak outs. The boys also put their brilliant minds to use on how to handle the North Korea, South Korea problem and Ryan tries to convince Ari to ski there. The boys talk about how to be born into a wealthy family by cleaning streets in Heaven.

Full episodes and much much more available at Patreon.com/SlopQuest Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! Ryan laments the fact that garbage men don’t ride on the back of the truck. Then he takes issue with Andy’s Otterbox phone case that’s falling apart. Then they come up with a trick to get Andy on disability. Ryan’s wife tries to touch his antique globe and Andy roasts O’Neill’s novelty bobcat nutsack whiskey bottle. Then he has to prove to O’Neill that “cat pee” is an actual wine note. Andy pitches Ryan on being a Wartime Journalist. Andrew’s finger smells good but O’Neill won’t sniff it. And Andy finds a music video that’s too cringe even for O’Neill. They both have an extremely visceral reaction to it.

Full episodes and much more at patreon.com/slopquest ! Join our community today! Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! This week O’Neill tries to build Andy’s confidence at the top of the show. Then the boys talk about the FBI raising money by selling DVDs with cut scenes from the Epstein jail. Then Andy gets a bunch of facts wrong but finds out right away this time. O’Neill tries to wake up Andy with farts which derails the podcast. We have an update from ATC Aaron and Andy mistakes Wesley Willis for William Wallace. Then the boys talk about the toilet situation in Liberia. Then they talk about growing crops in beach doodie. Then talk about the EDM scene in Goa. Then Ryan watches the Hunter Biden interview and has some issues with his preparedness to run for president.  Then the boys talk about how ex presidents can completely white wash their crimes by pounding booze with people at bars. O’Neill gets mad that Andy hasn’t watched his “skits” on his website. Then Andy walks Ryan through the CIA Simple Sabotage Handbook and O’Neill loses his mind and realizes he could have been the world’s best CIA agent.

Full Episodes and more at patreon.com/Slopquest !! Comedian Ryan O’Neill and Illustrator Andrew DeWitt bring you the dumbest takes on news, movies and ridiculous business ideas every week on Slop Quest! O’Neill finds out about the “Burbank Butt Sniffer” and is shocked when it turns out that it’s not Andrew. Then they pitch Nordstrom on a new ad campaign, “Nordstrom Sniff Out The Savings”! And to be honest, it really has legs. Then O’Neill can’t believe the backstory of the sniffer and it almost derails the entire show. Then they try to write a biography about the incident with one of the craziest book titles ever. The Andrew laments the fact that it’s sweltering while two unused air conditioners sit in the same room they’re recording in. This episode is really good and really stupid. Come get your slop!

Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest Ryan tries to figure out what’s got the internet so pissed off about a blue jeans ad. Then the boys float the idea of a Sidney Sweeney presidency with random civics tests for American citizens with big rewards. The boys also talk about the Tea App massive leak. The boys then talk about how scary it is to talk to actual psychopaths. Then they talk about the disturbing phenomenon of ex-mafia YouTube. O’Neill sits beside a dude having a potentially viral meltdown on a plane. Then O’Neill tries out some new cool rhyme schemes and floats the idea of Dr. O’Neill Sings. Then the boys hand out African Warlord names and try to build a business as Brand Consultants for African Warlords through a new PR Company.

Full episodes and more available at Patreon.com/SlopQuest Ryan’s brain is mush and Andy recounts a harrowing soup kitchen story where church ladies go nuts to some sweet ragtime jams. Then the boys try to rewrite the character of Oscar The Grouch in a more realistic manner. Ryan gets worried that his bad signing is a sign of a bad life and Andy tries to reassure him. Ryan and Ari play with a war hero’s medals and then use an old car to play Driving Miss Daisy then Andy tries to dissect what these ding dongs are getting out of this vacation role play. Andy recounts the joys of “Civil War Day” at his elementary school and the ridiculous outfits kids wore. O’Neill tries to understand the South’s obsession with the Confederacy. Then the boys dive into some Epstein talk and they talk about his aliens tricked humans into thinking gold was valuable.

Full episodes and lots more on patreon.com/slopquest !! The boys get a five star review for their podcast but it’s just about Andy getting lead poisoning from his Stanley Thermos. This leads them to talk about the powers unleashed by getting slightly dumber every year. Ryan talks about penises as a sales tactic to get people to “pay the gay away” by joining Patreon. Then they talk about plastic army men being found in semen. Andy hits the Dollar Store for Yardley’s soap and gets roasted for it. Then they develop a soap for wieners only. Andy thinks the nation is stress eating dollar store candy. Then the boys talk about the Diddy trial and taking a rickshaw to the airport. Then there’s a little Bailey Jay/Buck Angle talk and O’Neill gets confused. Then they talk about the old Popular Science videos about which machines rip your dick off. Then O’Neill tries to pay Andy for voice over work with cookies. Then they reminisce about Paula Dean as O’Neill tries to remember what happened to her. Then they talk about delusional treasure hunters. Then Burt invents a “camping toilet” and hires Andy to draw his invention but Burt focuses too much on unimportant details.

Full Episodes available on Patreon.com/SlopQuest! Ryan reveals how women are hanging out with nuns instead of wearing thongs at the beach. Andy finds out that E-Girls are pretending to be femboys in order to get more followers on Only Fans and when the secret gets out everyone rages. Then Ryan comes up with a new scam where he dresses as a nun to bang chicks. Then they come up with a pitch for Sister Act 3 based on this premise. Andy finds out that out that Russel Crowe is trying to kickstart a music career and the comments are amazing. This makes O’Neill lament the downward trajectory of Bruce Willis’ movie career. Then they pitch an idea for Ryan called “Cool Navy Seal”.  There’s some Bezos wedding talk then they create a Delta Premium Gooner’s Lounge. Andy goes to Medieval Times, enjoys the food but has a bone to pick with the show. The O’Neill creates some Wild West names for fans.

Full episodes and much more bonus content on Patreon.com/slopquest! Andy is finally right about some news as he breaks the Liver King arrest to O’Neill. A fan of Andrew’s art asks him to design a landslide. Ryan says disturbing things on a major podcast while hammered and fans reach out to Andy. Ryan gets a terrible lap dance. Andy talks about the creative powers of dreams and Ryan can actually sing Billy Joel. Hertz comes up with a new scam to fuck over customers. Then there’s some Tucker Carlson talk as well as National Eggs and Analingus Day. Then there’s another red pill deep dive that enrages O’Neill.

Full Episodes available at patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill gets so bored hanging out with David Lee Roth after spending 3 months with him and hearing the stories he has left to tell after all his rock n roll tales run dry. Then Andy mourns the loss of one of the world’s worst comedy road dogs who lived down the street from him in Chicago. The boys then talk about the “riot” situation in Los Angeles and how ridiculous the news reporting on it. O’Neill shares his proposal story with and Andy recounts how Pancakes tried to get him to spend $10k on an engagement ring. The Ryan talks about preserving dead husband’s wieners for bereaved wives. Andy finds an “Am I Overreacting” about body hair shaming on Reddit and it drives O’Neill crazy. The boys float the idea of not letting people work until they’re 25. Then they create a restaurant where serves make change with different cuts of meat. O’Neill visits the Bunny Ranch and gets incredibly depressed.   Then they come up with an idea to keep people safe in gang violence situations. The Andy finds one of the most pathetic Married Redpill posts of all time and O’Neill absolutely eats it all up and roasts the guy into oblivion.

Full Episodes Available on Patreon.com/SlopQuest Andy finds all the parts to his old Stanley Thermos and is far too excited. Ryan reveals that Ozempic makes the pee pee bigger. Then Andy promises “no more dog shit ideas”. Also, he experiences a harrowing bout of sleep paralysis. Then they find out that the Atari 2600 can beat AI at chess. Then they write a sci-fi story called Race Car 3039: The Future is Gay. They also play with the idea of a Costco airline.  Then O’Neill reveals the true building blocks of comedy. Then “Bad Boy Andrew” makes an appearance to shit on O’Neill’s ideas instead of vice versa and O’Neill can’t get enough.

full episodes at Patreon.com/SlopQuest Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. This week they consider starting their own “horny Slop Quest” religion. Then O’Neill wants to rent an abandoned skyscrapers but gets worried about hidden creepers. Then the boys talk about how easy it is to be a ceo in today’s environment. The they talk about making the White House into a reality show. Then Andy reveals an infuriating “Am I Overreacting “. O’Neill is flabbergasted by the choices Ben Afflek makes in the new Accountant sequel. They offer up some compelling relationship advice. O’Neill tries to rip one on the sly but gets caught out immediately. Then Ryan tries to hype up a 200 year old condom. Andy finds out about a 711 using opera to drive off homeless people. One of Andy’s Chicago buddies tries to pay a stripper’s rent and bankrupts himself. Then they help out a listener who’s going through a break up. Then they revisit the 80’s classic “Soul Man”. Then Ryan gets too vulnerable and Andy roasts him.

Full episodes here: Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan was kept up all night by a mysterious alarm and this causes them to create a new business website called WifeDoctor.com. Andy goes to the Water World Stunt Spectacular and sits in the “soak” seats but remains bone dry. Kevin Costner makes an extremely poor directing choice and gets roasted by the boys for like 30 minutes. Then they come up with a business where they add sexy b-roll to random movies to “spice ‘em up”. Ryan gets attacked by a tiger in India. Then a lion kills a guy after he goes to the bathroom. This causes the boys to formulate a meal that would produce a diarrhea so powerful it would scare off a n apex predator. Then realistic baby dolls take over Brazilian hospitals and Ryan gets out Frank Britton Rickettes. Then they address the TRT epidemic taking over 50 year old men.  Andy gets real about his binge eating and it’s hilarious.

Full Ep Here: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest  This week, they reminisce about Kevin Spacey in K-Pax and an old classmate of Andy’s hilarious drama class monologue choices. O’Neill gets accused of loving golf and laments the enshittification of Las Vegas. Santa Monica passes open container laws, and it’s gonna get crazy. Andy’s buddy Burt makes an accidentally homophobic Super Hero sketch. Then the boys talk about how Los Angeles needs more “idea guys”. An amazing business idea crops up when the boys come up with a pumpkin-based children’s book for adults. Andy talks about the origin of “Jingle Bells Batman Smells”. O’Neill worries that a cartoon they are making together is too “pedestrian,” and it completely baffles Andy. Then Andy exposes O’Neill for making friends with different marginalized groups so he can do bits without worrying. O’Neill then tries to big time his nephew with a local softball bat commercial voiceover gig. Then Andy finds out about a man who spent $600 of his girlfriend’s money on a cellphone Gacha game. Then they dissect the tragic downfall of the Findom community.

Full Episode on Patreon.com/Slopquest Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. On this episode the boys dissect the newest AI catastrophe and come up with a new Christian Karate based business strategy to help people karate chop away sin.

Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. Ryan is back from Austin, where the comedy is great and the city is…fine. Then O’Neill praises the homeless public masturbators of Texas. Andy finds a Silicon Valley executive who’s trying to create his own scam religion. Then the boys try to figure out if anal causes permanent damage and O’Neill makes a strange new promise. Then the boys come up with a plan to save zoomer chicks from a fate worse than death. 

Full Episode on Patreon.com/SlopQuest Every week comedians Andrew DeWitt and Ryan O’Neill take current and historical events and spin them into outrageous screenplay pitches and business ideas. The boys open up with some reminiscing about how hot that crazy chick who saw a fake person on the plane was. Then Andy brings in a Harbor Freight survival knife and gets roasted non-stop by O’Neill. The boys talk about the overall plan of all presidents in America. Then they invent an amazing new survival product called “The Goon Blade”. O’Neill tries to remember the melody to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and absolutely butchers it. Then we present a new segment: “O’Neill Tries To Remember The Bible”.

Full Episodes at Patreon.com/slopquest Ryan opens the episode with a good old fashioned fart in a small, closed room. Then there’s some Machu Pichu talk and O’Neill can’t get over when it was built. They talk ultra light planes for bit. O’Neill gets food poisoning and tries to pitch dessert subs to Andy but he blows the pitch by farting in the room while talking about food. Then the some boys plan a museum/ gallery exhibit and O’Neill rehearses his Terry Gross interview style. Deportations hit home for Andy. Then they tighten up their pitch for the Peter Pan Exorcist and flesh out all the fixins of the movie.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The Pope has passed on and the boys have some theories about it. Then Andy’s friend takes someone on a tour of a shady under the boardwalk secret club. Andy finds some movies on Tubi that O’Neill can’t get enough of. Ryan has a detailed medical report of the leg lengthening procedure that’s sweeping the nation’s short kings. Andy eats too much weed and it keeps him up all night. O’Neill has a huge problem with this especially when he finds out that the main reason Andy couldn’t sleep was seeing a picture of a demon trapped in glass on Reddit.

full episode available at patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill gets mad when someone doesn’t know what the term “gooner’ means. Then Andrew dissociates at a Rite Aid. Then the boys talk about the perfect legal judge for their podcast. O’Neill leaves a bunch of .357 ammo all over the apartment and Andrew  ones up with a lube based gum for oral sex. Then there’s a legit Earthquake during the podcast . They deep dive on height length surgeries now that there’s more data. Andy explains Catholic sex rules to O’Neill and they look for loopholes in language and O’Neill tries to convince Andy that all nuns are secretly horny. Then they talk about national IQ scores and try to break down 3hat that means for the world. Then Andy gets mad at the state of O’Neill’s recording studio. Then the boys make a new movie pitch that’s got unbelievable legs to it.