Slop Quest

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys toy with the idea of telemarketing their own podcast. This leads to O’Neill remembering starting a grease fire when he was kid because he was on the phone with a telemarketer. Then Aaron recounts a telemarketing nightmare call. Then Andrew parties with a 60 year old professor and O’Neill does not think this guy ruled even though Andy did. Then Andy learns harpsichord. Then Andy talks real life hobbits as O’Neill tries to remember hobbit names and can’t.  O’Neill doesn’t care about scientific discoveries and this infuriates Andy. Then O’Neill and Andy get into an epic argument about “what’s better than the Opera”. Then O’Neill tells a classic story about a chain link fence. Then the boys come up with catch phrase for increasing the birth rate.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan taunts Andy with 2012 Los Angeles home prices. Then Ryan talks about the organ thief conspiracy facing hospitals while Andy talks about how to measure fat guy’s inseam. Then Andy wants to work out at dude’s only naked gym but he can’t seem to sell O’Neill on the idea. Then they talk about how showing the b-hole is the ultimate path to financial freedom. Then Andy f’s up a friend’s joke he’s trying to plug. Then they talk about how gross wearing sneakers inside during the 80’s and 90’s was. The gang read’s Elbert’s Freddy Got Fingered review and lose it at how mad it made Ebert. Then O’Neill brags about eating French cookies that only have 4 grams of sugar in them. Then O’Neill borrows one of Andy’s DvD and sticks it in a toaster. Then the boys come up with an idea for medicine that works BETTER when you drink and O’Neill talks about how bad old people blew it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets mad at Andy for hogging the intro then he gets even madder that Andy won’t listen to his sexy deep voice. O’Neill goes for a jog in a wildfire and pollen clouds and the complains his throat is sore. Andy reveals O’Neill’s hidden piss spots and they aren’t quite as wildernessy as O’Neill has made it seem. Then Andy does his own taxes and becomes miserable much to Ryan’s chagrin. The boys come up with a new screenplay idea for a movie called Trunk Driver where the fatal flaw of the main character can only consume “high quality ingredients”. Then Andy thinks the movie Flight was a documentary. Then they talk suspicious celebrity deaths. There’s some Tesla battery mishap talk and Ryan is concerned about Andy falling to doody play. Then Ryan chastises Andy’s writing ability. Ryan then thinks all of Andy’s psychological problems come from the movie Over The Top. There’s a fight about consumerism in Christmas and Andy goes to church. Then O’Neill comes up with a romantic way for both of the boys to take a dump together. Something bad happened to Andy when he was in preschool and O’Neill tries to get to the bottom of it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys get banned from every single short story subreddit on the internet.  The Whassup Man of Reddit tries to post his old spooky story on Reddit and people get pissed. Then O’Neill suggest they post their spooky stories on assassins’ forums on the dark web. Then they talk robotaxi nonsense. Then they make Aaron read the spoooky story and he makes Andy choke when he gives the story his rating.  Then they create a version of the sitcom Home Improvement where Al gets dark. Then there’s some very critical HOA talk. Then there’s a spooky Halloween HOA story teaser everyone will enjoy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill is furious that people believed aliens did cattle mutilations. Then Andrew is equally furious when identical twins are not revealed and the boys write a Randy Newman song about it.  O’Neill thinks it is a million dollar idea. Then they talk about how to use 700 lb kids to protect classrooms.  Then Andy introduces Ryan to the Alternate History subreddit and it makes him very sad. Then Aaron has an unbelievable theatrical experience. And Ryan explains his crashing of his old school’s graduation. 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys debate which drugs count as party drugs. Andy has cocaine on his toenail but won’t come clean about it. The gang fondly recounts Ari Shaffir doodie stories. Andy finds out that Apple Podcasts had been transcribing portions of the show as “fun” previews to entice people but they look even more unhinged. Ryan is back from Skankfest with some news!  Then he recounts his next door neighbors fighting relentlessly, a dog pisses all over O’Neill’s feet and a YouTube comment blows him away. Andy gets a new job painting lady dongs.  Then Andy has sex ed from a nun and she won’t answer any of his questions. Then they both reminisce about setting fires as children.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest  O’Neill is frantic to get all the facts about Diddy’s sex parties and he’s full of plenty of “I Told You So’s”. Then Andy and Ryan come up with a way to get away with nearly anything legally. Then O’Neill blows Andy’s mind when he tells him there’s buttfuckin’ at the rub and tug. Then there’s some pilot talk. Then they come up with a new business idea of hunting down short make celebrities and spanking them. Then they come up with a fool proof way to cheat on someone that falls apart completely under the tiniest scrutiny. Then it’s time to vote on the Toy Hall of Fame. Then the boys remember the late great Eric Hites.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy tries to buy O’Neill some fake Christmas skis. Then he gets shamed for wanting to go short skiing. There’s some ball eating parrot talk. Then they talk about having a clear room for priests so they’re not up to no good. Aaron’s confessional priest had Cheeto’s breath. O’Neill refuses communion because of ocd then he humble brags about how much ass he could kick in Hell. Then Andy gets political about American blow jobs while O’Neill talks about trying to make VooDoo the new mainstream religion. Andrew gets tricked by a Hare Krishna and then by a ninjutsu master. Then RFK beheads a whale and O’Neill loses his mind about it.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan gets run off the road and tries cat meat for breakfast. Big Earl dances in a cage with pee pee stains on his undies. Andrew remembers the time he drank 18 Hornsby’ s Hard Apple Ciders and later having to go to campus alcohol counseling. Ryan wants to build and Android body guard. Then they talk about banging in the Peace Corps and how to make the most of it. Then fans leave Amazon reviews mentioning Slop Quest and they are 100% pure gold. 

FREE EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy and Ryan barely survive the Southern California heatwave until O’Neill decides to go jogging in 110 degree heat. Then Andy finds out about a new juicy class action lawsuit of dorks versus Only Fans chat services. Ryan decides on what books to read based on the number of pages they are. There’s some chimp talk then medieval dudes wear backwards hats. Then we try to use parody laws to get away with any illegal. Then Aaron gets into a brutal softball situation with some bad hombres. Finally, we get an amazing Gathering of The Juggalos report from deep on the scene.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The show opens with Ryan chastising Andy for being distracted, then shows him a spider bite that hasn’t healed and may be giving him powers. Then Ryan contemplates performing self surgery to open his spider wound and see what’s inside. Then Ryan has an idea to help people that Andy find extremely questionable. The boys then break down Bill Gates’ insane insistence that  he be allowed to keep hanging out with Epstein. Andy finds a family that gets poisoned by AI. Then Andy takes the lion’s share of an emotional damages court finding over O’Neill’s death then he stumps Ryan with a Shakespeare quote. There’s some race car belt talk that leads to belt business ideas. Ryan tries to do a dental cleaning on Andy with no gloves. Then they talk about how to keep tricking their wives into finding them attractive.  And finally, Big Earl misses the Big Game. 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with the Secret Service taking a dump in Ryan’s apartment. Then he freaks out about having to help a president or vice president take a dump outside as a secret service agent. The O’Neill rewatches the Police Academy kids’ cartoon and they talk about other rated R movie properties that got turned into children’s shows.  Then they go through the staggering amount of Police Academy productions that came out in a row. O’Neill’s buddy ends up on Porter County Cops a localized version of “Cops”. Then Andy finds a hilarious medical device on Amazon that is so horribly translated that they can help but read all the instructions. Then they talk about idiotic bank robbing strategies.  Andy’s friend can’t drive stick and has a panic attack on the highway driving a muscle car. Then our good pal Tracy finds a “Psychic Defense” class and the gang goes crazy!

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with a sleep deprived DeWitt and O’Neill insists he’s on cocaine. We go on an audio tour of Big Earl’s neighborhood. Then we write an amazing love story starring O’Neill and a homeless lady. Then the boys find out that their movies are being titty censored by advertiser friendly big tech. Andy talks about Logitech floating the idea of monthly computer mouse . Then Andy and O’Neill can’t stop seeing horrific Twitter racism , Faces of Death style nightmares and porno spam bots in their feeds.  Then they start fake rumors about politicians and they try to find the Bang Bus.

FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy has ground breaking information on Confucius that makes Ryan very angry. Then Andrew Tate’s manhood disappears. Ryan talks about how whiskey has hurt the manhood of many different societies. Then Andrew misremembers the Quizno’s Sponge Monkeys. This spurs a new ad campaign for Saab. Then Andy makes up a series of male cologne names. Then O’Neill tries to deliver the famous speech from The Princess Bride. Then the boys talk about how a woman should compliment a man. Ryan writes a sequel to Good Will Hunting. Then they talk ADA glory holes. 

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill starts the episode with new Southern church phrases, then brags about how much micro plastics are in his nuts. Then Andy introduces O’Neill to the hilarious philosophy behind “The Married Red Pill”. O’Neill roasts the entire thing the way only O’Neill can. This inspires new business plans the boys really enjoy. Aaron has an amazing neighborhood update. O’Neill breaks his no doodie rule for a special occasion. Then the boys debate whether or not sneaky New Yorkers could bang midwestern farmer’s wives without being caught and tortured in a barn. Then Carl shoots Urkel.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys open strong with a DC Comics pitch about Batman’s butler, Alfred, pissing his pants constantly and trying to cover it up. Then Andy remembers all of NOFX’s lyrics all at once after he forgot about the band. Then Andy and Ryan come up with The Bad Boy Business Brothers who make online business courses which includes asserting your dominance in the office via leg humping. Then Aaron blows us away with his pitch for replacing Alfred from Batman with Alf. It’s fantastic.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Big Earl Skakel is back in the studio and there’s nothing but classic Earl talk. In other words, obscure name drops from the late 70’s, obscure name drops from the 80’s, body building talk, BBW horn doggin’, political talk, and his plans for his new special! It’s an amazing, classic Big Earl SLOPISODE!

Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest Andy gets some amazing encouragement about Dolores (don’t worry, people who hate it, he doesn’t read it or try to write any more on air). Then the boys come up with an amazing “all you can eat erotic Chinese buffet for bachelorettes only featuring themed funny foods”. Then they try to get past the censors for the Sunday comics page with some sneaky word play. Then Andrew does an impression of Ryan as conspiracy theorist talk show host. Then Aaron is tired of Maddie Bosch. Then Burt saves a drunk guy’s life. The boys propose moving the White House to the middle of America. An OF chick enrages Andrew by photoshopping the choicest bits. Aaron catches a guy peeing on a plane. And Ryan is gross when he stays at hotels.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy writes the entire first chapter of Dolores and it causes him to have a real psychic connection to Aaron. One of Andy’s friends tricks him into saying hi to a fake Stephen King. Then they talk about old times out door “dogging’. Then they talk walking sticks. Then Andrew tells the tragic story of Death Mole. Then O’Neill wants to replace the White House janitors with a “topless maid” service to save money. Then Andrew reveals how Dolores affected the people closest to him.

FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys try to stay clean for the algorithmic gods for the first 10 minutes and fail miserably. Then Andy an amazing water park idea. Ryan and Andy argue about the appeal of the old hawk tuah. They research the invention of the fictional “robot voice” then they deep dive on one of the craziest topics ever , realistic, historically accurate Bronze Age British versus Roman beef. This argument gets heated, and historical! Then O’Neill comes up with a Bronze Age reality show. Then the deep dive on a mom’s website and there’s some business call talk. It’s great!