Sol Movement & Ritual

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Most relationships aren’t starved for sex—they’re starved for attunement. In this kickoff, we unpack why “I don’t want sex” often means “I don’t feel safely, slowly, specifically known.” The episode opens with a real call from a friend questioning divorce, then moves through safety rituals, curiosity as foreplay, and “mother-grade noticing” you can practice tonight. “I’m not into sex” often means: I don’t feel safe, seen, or specifically known. We address why we need to connect first and why it’s not asking for a lot. Want to know me! Don’t ask me to open my body before you open my mind.What you’ll learnWhy “I don’t want sex” often means “I don’t feel safely, slowly, specifically known.”Performance vs presence: date-night checkboxes vs reading the body.Consent as architecture (negotiate → check-ins → aftercare).“Mother spidey senses” for everyone: notice need before words.Self-knowledge first: the Gesture Glossary + a 60-sec self-scan.Try one of these tonightOne slow kiss (no goal)• One real question you don’t know the answer to• One sensory upgrade (light/music/scent)• Ask: “What helped your body breathe?”Pull quotes“We’re not asking for more performance. We’re asking for attunement.”“Safety didn’t kill the thrill—it made the risk taste like freedom.”“Curiosity is foreplay.”“Know your tells to read theirs.” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Felicia traces the quiet deaths we live through—leaving a home, shedding an identity, choosing motherhood and self at once. From fallen leaves to umbilical cords, she explores how change asks us to release control, face pain, and tell the truth about who we are becoming.Key Themes:Micro-deaths: identity, place, and rolesChange as nature’s law (trees, decomposition, renewal)The umbilical cord as a metaphor for attachment and releasePain as a necessary passage—not a bypassable stepChrist as exemplar vs. outsourced saviorIntegrity as daily practice: tiny honest movesListener Takeaways:Notice where you’re clinging; name one cord you can loosen todayChoose one small act of integrity and do it before the day endsReframe pain as the doorway to alignment, not a detour This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Felicia explores the everyday altar of motherhood—where care becomes love when it’s shared, not hoarded. Through a Dark Goddess lens (Dancing in the Flames), she reframes “self-sacrifice” as a broken cauldron and argues for boundaries, shared labor, and the courage to receive as prerequisites for giving. Pop-culture moments (a “Gatsby gala,” The Hunger Games, and “They were careless people”) help teach our kids what not to emulate—and what to build instead.What you’ll hear:Children as initiations, not nuisancesThe altar vs. the martyr: why love requires reciprocityGrief, regret, and the tenderness of shared careThe Dark Goddess as a guide to wholeness (laundry-room altars, Baba Yaga questions)Why boundaries, rest, and pleasure keep the “cauldron” from crackingTeaching discernment in a spectacle-driven cultureReferences & resources:Marion Woodman & Elinor Dickson, Dancing in the Flames: The Dark Goddess in the Transformation of ConsciousnessF. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (“They were careless people…”)Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (the Capitol as spectacle)Takeaways:Caring is love’s teacher—but only when it’s shared.You can’t pour from an empty body; you also can’t pour if you never receive.Ordinary rooms can be altars; ordinary tasks can be rituals.Our magic isn’t gone—it’s waiting for a stronger pot.If this moved you, share it with one friend who’s carrying too much—and subscribe on Substack for essays, early drops, and members-only conversations. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Felicia reflects on the question, “Why did you get divorced?” and traces an answer through embodied pleasure, the deadness she refused, and the ways women’s sexuality is outsourced and commodified. An intimate meditation on erotic aliveness, consent, and coming home to the Divinity inside our cells.Key TakeawaysSelf-pleasure can be a practice of presence, not performance.Women’s sexuality is often commodified and policed; liberation must be self-owned, not traded.Erotic aliveness counters numbness and “deadness,” reconnecting imagination, emotion, and sensation.Safety is the precondition for opening; the body tells the truth first. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Halloween, divorce, and the everyday test of wills. In this tender solo, Felicia invites us into the messy middle—the school parade you weren’t ready for, the “you’re so strong” comments that land sideways, and the private moments where the storm threatens to rip you to pieces. This is an episode about soul-holding: tiny acts that keep us human when the to-do list stretches to infinity. Not a bypass. Not grit theatre. Practice.We talk about: letting pain move so it doesn’t poison you; why one small action unlocks big ones; how to “do what I can and let go of what I can’t”; and the quiet grace of being held—by a brother’s “I got you, sis,” by a hug, by your own steady breath.If you’re walking through something hard today, come sit with this one. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Felicia traces a lineage of women who never rested grandmother, mother, herself—and the moment she burned down a “perfect” life to make space for truth. This is a tender, feral meditation on rest, eros, and the inner girl who only appears when she’s loved. A rebel’s theology of transformation, usable, embodied, a little dangerous.Episode Highlights The women who never sat down: inherited hustle, tender pride, and the cost of being “good.”The pedestal and the cage: how “perfect wife/mother” scripts sanctify our exhaustion.On virgin myths and hidden bodies: why purity culture tries to sterilize the erotic.The fire moment: choosing truth over optics and watching the old house burn.Meeting the inner fairy: rescuing the malnourished self from the cave.Rest as resistance: moving from self-betrayal to self-belonging.Boundaries as mercy; desire as compass; devotion as daily, embodied practice.Mary Magdalene’s subversive gospel: the treasure is within; rules without love are cages.Learning to be seen without apologizing—and the holy art of posting, deleting, and trying again.What it means to mother four souls while re-mothering yourself.Who this episode is forWomen who are tired of being the exhibit of “having it all,” mothers who feel guilty for wanting more, ex-good girls, and anyone ready to trade performance for presence.Listener TakeawaysA simple reframe: “I don’t need to be better; I need to belong to myself.”A mini-practice for rest you’ll actually do (bath, sun, nap, movement, kiss, post, delete, try again).One permission slip: Your desire isn’t the problem, it’s the map. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s devotional wrestles with where—or if—God lives, and why the body was my first church. I talk about hiding from “knowing” with busy perfection, getting brought to my knees, and the strange alchemy where the pain of alignment expands our capacity for joy. If “up-there God” never worked for you, this one’s for you.TimestampsCoffee + confession: “I don’t believe in an up-there God.”The gendered God problem; why a half-God can’t hold a whole life The body as the beginning: tight, trapped, spinning wheelsHow I hid from knowing (babies, birthdays, busy)Letting myself out: color floods back, but so does shadowPain as teacher: brought to my knees until I listened The equation: capacity to hold pain = capacity to receive joy If prayer never fit, try presence: “God as the love I house” This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

This episode traces how want eclipses love, why our nervous systems cling to the status quo, and what it looks like to re-center care—personally, politically, and on the block where we actually live.In this episodeThe “want machine” vs. the memory of loveNeed as interruption—and why that’s the pointMotherwork as a political ethic (remembering, soothing, staying)Homeostasis/allostasis 101: why change feels impossibleFrom dominance to care: reframing “strength”Micro-rituals for turning your sight inward (bath, breath, boundaries)Neighborhood resilience: co-ops, block pantries, bees & barterFive takeawaysWant is loud; need is quiet. Train your attention toward the quiet.Biology isn’t destiny. Stability bias (homeostasis) explains the resistance—and invites patient, repeated, embodied reps.Motherwork is governance. Remembering and soothing are political acts.Care scales locally first. Start with neighbors; build small systems that keep people sane and fed.Strength ≠ dominance. Try courage with compassion. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

If you prefer to read ….I watched a show last night…A tiny superhero girl crawls through a man’s brain. I can see the relief.But isn’t it connected? You’re like, whoa, that is MORBID. Maybe it is. Maybe it’s perfectly normal. That feeling, I mean.Bear with my ramblings. Normally they churn into something productive. I must have some audacity to think people want to hear anything I say. Is that at the heart of our suffering? Do we deem ourselves unworthy by default? Is that why we seek a God—validation outside of ourselves?Just questions. That’s what my brain is full of. I won’t ever answer them all, will I? So… do I just chill?Do people just chill? I shouldn’t even have a phone. I wake up every day expecting to save the whole world from my kitchen table—with the last of my food in the fridge, unsure how I’ll feed my babies next month. I see babies across the world starving, girls walking the streets of LA selling their souls, the man on the corner outside the concert venue. Our position to the right of him—leaving the joy of a concert with full bellies, hand in hand with a lover, laughing with friends—our position is temporary. Life can remind us of our equality in a split second.A world revolving around power.A world revolving around money.A world often devoid of love, full of souls that require it.So it’s no wonder that when religion is used as escape, it haunts our world. It promises an exit from this pain-body, somewhere to end up when we blow this world to hell.The world is frustrated.The women are frustrated.We’ve been ignored so long.But we are lovers. We smile at rainbows and the sun shining through the crowds. Lovers trying to love a world that bypasses love because it bypasses feeling. Because a bomb can end it all. Because physical life “doesn’t matter,” because we’re going to Heaven. When religion forgets embodiment, it becomes isolated, forgetful. Religion is isolated. Religion is forgetful. Religion is not embodied.And what of non-dualism? It can also become an escape hatch: “We’re all one,” so pain becomes abstract. Any path, Christian, secular, mystical, can drift into bypassing when it refuses to feel. A chance to escape reality. To know that we are all one. So pain is numb. Pain in the body becomes irrelevant. We will POOF into the cosmos. . . ENLIGHTNMENT NOW. Mmmmm, I am cosmic now that these mushrooms have shown me the way out of myself.Have you ever held an infant in your arms after they ripped through your womb, as your labia pulsed from the pressure, blood clots oozing like jellyfish from your open core? God, cosmos, forever and this moment in your arms? Have you ever held the hand of the dying? Promised them comfort you knew nothing of. That you loved them? Have you lost someone too soon? Your brain repeating the last moment you saw them on loop, psycho torture device. Our true understanding lies in our blood, our heart, our love (feminine) … “God”, cosmos, intellect (masculine) illuminates this work. So though the pain of facing this world threatens to destroy me I seek to illuminate it. I will not push aside the pain of this existence. I will not deny the truth of our birth, blood covered and helpless, dead unless for love. Love the body, the milk of a human mother, the pulse of her body sustaining my existence. An offering. One made against wills, against abilities, against desire. We are nothing without The Mother and we have forgotten her. We have followed a half truth of our existence. We KILL AND FIGHT in the name of a God who is trying to illuminate love. God sent his Son, through woman … God sent us to feel. He gave us this weak body to experience pain. We age and die to show us we are limited. To teach us to give, to offer the dregs of ourselves to another. In small consistent ways we are taught to mute our bodies. As I woke to the sensations of my living body truth flooded me. I crashed into despair and confusion. Waking up felt like “ruining a good thing,” but my body was screaming a truth I couldn’t come to with my mind, so conditioned I was. Aliveness is messy and merciful; it breaks false order. It forces us into alignment if we choose to listen instead of ignore ourselves. TODAY’S PRACTICE Practice (today): Put a hand on your sternum. Inhale for 4, hold 2, exhale for 6—three rounds. Whisper: be here. Question: Where am I buying “peace” with self-abandonment? Name one micro-course-correct you’ll make today. I choose presence every second. Some seconds, minutes, hours slip away in mindlessness; and I recorrect. Blessing: May your honesty gather the right people and release the wrong rooms. Go gently, not quietly. Until tomorrow, keep your throat chakra open. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

A raw meditation on divorce, identity, and learning to meet life without anesthesia. Felicia traces the mapless terrain of choosing herself—moving from control to consent, from dissociation to the honeyed present, and from inherited scripts to a voice that won’t whisper anymore.Listen for“The journey home does not have a map”—why control promises safety but charges anxietyBody-led navigation: letting sensation guide when sight can’tRadical sobriety as telling the truth without numbingThich Nhat Hanh’s sink-and-tea teaching made practical in motherhoodTimestamps00:00 Intro + HMT ethos00:21 “Radical Sobriety” begins01:27 The gut-wrench / dissociation / choosing trust03:25 Off-grid decision: divorce and walking without GPS05:27 Clean pain vs. control; consent as freedom06:08 Thich Nhat Hanh on dishes & presence07:21 The vow: choosing the next honest inch07:52 Sign-offA taste...“It is the state of radical sobriety to meet life without anesthesia… letting truth turn down the volume on pain.”“Control says, ‘If I can predict it, I can survive it.’ Consent says, ‘If I can feel it, I can be free.’”“If home is anywhere, it’s here—in the unguarded now.”MentionedThich Nhat Hanh on mindful dishwashing (from The Miracle of Mindfulness)Join the Substack for essays, early drops, and members-only chaos → Subscribe.Follow on Spotify• Apple Podcasts • IG → @hermothertongue This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

​​This episode is a balm to stress and overwhelm. If you are feeling trapped in the storm of life this episode is for you. Felica shares her favorite quick tips for regulating her nervous system when things are just too much!If you liked this episode don't forget to share it and leave a review! We appreciate you so much.Review of the week*nicole0304h*, 10/03/2023Can I be friends with them?I LOVE this podcast. As a mom, and a former therapist—they speak to my heart from such a real, empowering and practical perspective. I glean so many tips and tidbits from what they share and appreciate their honesty and ability to respect different points of views on topics. They truly do their research and have conversations that make me think, laugh and secretly want to be friends with them!Related Episodes Tips for Overcoming Distraction This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Our favorite sex therapist is back and this time we are challenging the assumption that sexual desire dies with long term relationships. Felica interviews Dr. Finlayson-Fife and they dive into the challenges we face to "keep the fire alive".Esther Perel said " Eroticism is the antithesis to everything a healthy family life needs, ritual, routine and knowing. Safety and security. Eroticism is adventure" , in this episode we tease out the nuance in this and discover what eroticism TRULY means. Hint ** it isn't all about sex/ desire.We also touch on the fact that families are more child centered than ever with higher expectations for couples. All responsibility often falls on parents, not community, institutions or society. We set up play dates and take pictures of and talk about and invest in our kids yet our personal and couple relationships are left to shrivel up. How can we do better?We tackle all this and more! Don't miss this chance to bring more erotic energy into your life. Links We Mentioned https://www.goodinside.com/podcast/4759/sex-after-kids-tell-me-more-esther-perel/Related EpisodesHow to Own Your Own Desires with Dr.Finlayson Fife Discovering Self within Our Sexuality & Overcoming Betrayal Thank you for the kind reviews! We appreciate them so much! Each week we choose a winner to receive a FREE JOURNAL for leaving a review! Here is how to leave a review for us on iTunes:Open Find the Magic in the podcast app  Scroll to the bottom of the pageClick on write a reviewTap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

In this mini episode Felica helps us think about how we take on our role as mother. It is a blessing for all the women we have been and a challenge to shed our over identification with our labels. ENJOY! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

So often in parenting, we find ourselves...losing our cool, to put it nicely. We respond with anger; we use bribing or coercion to make our kids behave, and we hurt our relationship with our kids and ourselves in the process. In this episode, we take a deep dive into individual steps we can take anytime we find ourselves triggered by our kids’ behavior. We start with ourselves, pause, attune to our child, and then respond, not react, by setting limits and allowing logical consequences by looking at the need being expressed by our child’s behavior. This conversation will help you reframe difficult parenting situations and allow you to focus on the priority of your relationship. Take a pause to connect to your intuition when making decisions. Pay attention to what you fear and ask yourself why? Parenting helps us see ourselves more clearly. Don’t parent from a place of lack. The Pause - Give your self time and space with your children Use breath to bring yourself into the present moment and pause Sometimes bad behavior is a cry for connection.Time Stamps 8:00- How do we live from a place of authenticity when parenting 12:31 - Take a pause to connect to your intuition when making decisions 18:15 - Parenting from a place of lack vs. wholeness 21:00 - Meditation practice to give your child self love and acceptance 24:33 - Journal out your fears with your kids to process them 29:00 - The Pause - Give your self time and space with your children 37:30 - Zone of zero reactivity 46:50 - Come to each situation with a response vs. a reaction 52:31 - Natural consequences vs. Cultivating consequencesYou can listen to this episode on most other platforms here :)Are you feeling lost, unanchored or listless in your days? We use our daily planner and journal to align our core values with the tasks we do each day! You can learn more about it HERERelated EpisodesAuthoritative Parenting / Arguably the most EFFECTIVE Parenting Style Holding Boundaries / Discipline Pt. 1Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family ConnectionsParenting with Unconditional Love How to Embrace Childhood Books and links we mentioned;The Awakened Family // Shefali TsabaryThe Conscious Parent // Shefali Tsabary This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

Original Post date 10/25/22Fear is a powerful emotion. All of us face it at some point of another, and often, it really puts a damper on the way we live our lives. It can interfere with us loving wholeheartedly and doing things that inspire (and scare) us. In this episode, Taralyn dives deep into the concept of facing and processing our fears so they don’t hold us back in life. She addresses 3 different kinds of fear, and walks you through steps to free yourself from the fears that don’t serve you.Books Taralyn Mentioned:Gift of Fear // Gavin De BeckerFear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm // Thich Nhat HanhRelated Episodes:Escaping the Trance of Unworthiness and Finding Self Acceptance WithinStaying Open to the Present Tapping Into the Abundance Inside Us This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

The holiday season can feel overwhelming because we feel the need to do everything to make them exciting and special. However, the beauty of having our own families is that we can intentionally choose the holiday activities that serve us and let go of the ones that don’t. The magic of family traditions is that they help our children feel a sense of belonging and gives them roots, which helps them identify with the connection of the family instead of peer groups and can help with their behavior.In this episode, we share the traditions that serve us with simplicity and joy and give you many options to try with your own family. We talk about how sometimes all it takes is to recognize the traditions we already have and capitalize on naming them and making them reoccurring and special. From Halloween fun, ways to be grateful in November and loads of Christmas and winter traditions we hope that this episode inspires you to create new memories with your family and recognize your current traditions to turn them into magical ones that repeat every year! You can listen to this episode on iTunes here and many other platforms here.Books we mentioned:Hold on to Your Kids // Gabor MateThe Entitlement Trap // Linda and Richard Eyre Food Nanny Rescues Dinner //  Liz Edmunds   Related Episodes:Systems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family Connections This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

There is nothing quite like parenting--it’s something we want to desperately do well at, and it is simultaneously one of the most difficult things that many of us will ever do. We face fears, failure, triggers of our own emotions, often while experiencing physical and emotional fatigue. However, because of this, children have the capacity to be our greatest teachers. They allow us the opportunity to truly look inside of ourselves when we are triggered, and wake up to our own nature. In this episode, Felica had the incredible opportunity of discussing this topic with parenting expert and author, Susan Stiffelman, MFT. She explains how we can use the practice of being present to truly use this journey we have as parents to truly evolve ourselves as we face the daunting task of raising humans to do the same. Her books and her words are unbelievably inspiring and will help you as you navigate your own parenting experience. You can learn more about Susan Stiffelman and her work and sign up for her newsletter on her website:  https://susanstiffelman.com. She is offering a webinar you can join her in about coparenting with a narcissist here.You can listen to this episode on iTunes here or on many other platforms here. Books we mentioned:Parenting with Presence // Susan Stiffelman  Parenting without Power Struggles // Susan Stiffelman Loving What Is // Byron Katie Playful Parenting // Lawrence Cohen Related Episodes:Finding Joy and Enthusiasm in Every DayThe Martyr Effect. HOW TO Stop Offering Ourselves at the Altar of ParentingStaying Open to the Present Tapping Into the Abundance Inside UsJanet Lansbury’s episode: The Best Way to Deal With Intense Tantrums  This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

It can appear like people who are successful at achieving their goals simply possess an incredible amount of self control. That kind of belief lets us off the hook from creating the life we really want--we simply lack the self discipline, right? Well, it turns out that as we create habits that add value to our lives, we actually require LESS self control, not more. As we change our environment and our cues and rewards, we have the power to eliminate negative habits and build positive ones that can transform our life. Habits are the key to making our goals a reality. We discuss the science behind habits and explore the work of experts on the subject. We break down the steps for creating a good habit (or ridding yourself of a bad one), and give you applicable tips that you can use right away in your life. We share what has really worked in our own lives as we have experimented with habits and unlocked the magic of things like habit stacking.Books that inspired us:Atomic Habits // James ClearDeep Work // Cal NewportEssentialism // Greg McKeownGetting Things Done // David AllenThe Power of Habit // Charles DuhiggOur Related Episodes:Habits for High PerformanceSystems and Values for Easier Days and Stronger Family ConnectionMake Your Morning Routine Happen!We would love for you to share our episode with your friends and family. Also, thank you so much for your kind reviews! We are so honored to have such wonderful listeners.How to leave a review on iTunes:* Open podcast app* Search for Find the Magic* Click on episodes* Scroll to the bottom of the page* Click on write a review* Tap the stars to rate us and then write us some feedback:)* Hit SENDThank you! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe

We often receive the message that we can have it all; we can do it all. Social media messages, societal expectations, and our own self talk often feeds the lie that we can do EVERYTHING. When we don’t live up to the unrealistic expectation that we can do everything and succeed at everything, there is a cost to our mental health. In this episode, we discuss this topic with New York Times best selling author, Greg McKeown. He helps identify the lie that we can do everything, and instead offers a path of wisdom, balance, and priorities instead of the wild racing that we often indulge in when we are trying to say yes to everything. He gives us very applicable steps on how to make doing what truly matters to us easy.  BOOKS AND LINKS:Greg’s Website: https://gregmckeown.comEffortless: Make It Easier to Do What Matters Most // Greg McKeown Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less // Greg McKeownRELATED EPISODES Essentialism / How to Do Less But BetterDiscovering YOUR Life Essentials This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit solmovement.substack.com/subscribe