Something Positive for Positive People

2025 took me through it. The woman I thought I was building a future with left. I moved in with my grandma, then into my own spot, and just when I started to settle—boom—tornado. Total loss. In every direction of life, I felt resistance. Everything I did to “fix” things only made the weight heavier.That’s when I got the message from what I can only describe as the echo of my nervous system: do nothing.Not as in give up, but as in pause. Stop grasping. Let go. From that stillness, things started aligning again—without force, without explanation. That phrase became a mantra for me in the dark: do nothing. And I started noticing how much I was still trying to be liked, trying to defend myself in other people’s narratives. But “do nothing” showed me those stories are theirs to hold—not mine.“All my effort and action taken just kept creating unnecessary resistance between what I chose and acquiring it.”“There are stories people carry about me—some that have nothing to do with me, some that do, and some that are about their own avoidance of accountability.”“Do nothing. That was the message. And when I did nothing, blessings and pleasant experiences validated that choice.”“Depression was the teacher herpes could never be. And we see what I’ve done with herpes.”“The same way the sun became the star it is through pressure, heat, and friction—I’m becoming through stagnancy, expectation, and failure.”This episode is a marker for me. A timestamp. A reminder that I don’t have to react to the world around me. I get to orient my internal world—my beliefs, my nervous system, my rhythm—and trust that the external world will shape around that alignment.What came through this period of stillness wasn’t defeat—it was clarity. This is how I remember who I am. And this episode is my declaration of that remembrance.

In this intimate conversation, Melissa LeSane opens up about the messiness of living through transition—stepping away from her role as a therapist, navigating a marriage of over two decades, entering a new relationship, and rediscovering herself as a sensitive, spiritual being.What begins as a discussion on non-monogamy turns into a reflection on how presence—not perfection—is the path back to wholeness. Melissa and Courtney explore the weight of expectations, emotional overstimulation, and the courage to allow identity to shift in real time.

There's a stigma about breakups that you're only supposed to remember and recall the negative so you stay away, heal, don't go back. Especially for men, we're supposed to get someone younger, hotter, make more money, and get hotter. And to do this, you almost have to over-identify with this smallness of self and lean into that negative state. I choose differently. I don't Miss my Ex. I miss my Motherfucking Homie ya'll. I've tried to just keep this to myself but it won't stay and I feel the pressure build up and as I navigate convos it seeps out unconsciously. So I took my time, wrote this, slept on it, reflected, and feel like this validates my own identity as someone navigating grief.

bell hooks defined "queer" as a way of describing oneself without being confined by fixed definitions or labels. It's about acknowledging one's authenticity and living a life that aligns with that self, even if it doesn't fit neatly into conventional categories like "gay" or "straight." For hooks, being queer also meant being at odds with societal norms and finding ways to thrive on one's own terms. In this solo episode, I explore how queer community, education, and presence have deeply influenced my understanding of masculinity—not by changing who I am, but by giving me the freedom to express it with more honesty, softness, and presence.As a cisgender heterosexual Black man, I’ve found more validation of my identity in queer spaces than in the spaces I was told I “belonged” in. This episode is a reflection on that truth, especially at the intersection of Pride and Men’s Mental Health Month.I also share how stigma—specifically herpes stigma—has been a gateway into deeper self-inquiry around identity, performance, and liberation. Using Bell Hooks’ definition of queerness as a guide, I talk about how embracing the challenge of unbecoming has brought me closer to who I actually am.This is for anyone rethinking what masculinity looks like when it’s not measured in dominance or stats—but in connection, curiosity, and care.

Last time I was at STI Engage it was in 2019 where I submitted an abstract on how people living with herpes could find psycho-social support for their mental health through podcasts. Fast forward 6 years later after hundreds of thousands of podcast listens, tens of thousands of conversations, thousands of survey responses, and hundreds of podcasts, we're back with a lot more clarity and consistency to present on the power of what was born through podcasting, the creation of community. Listen in on my session live from Phoenix AZ where I lead the room through a meditation on what stigma feels like at a somatic level, use a real time example of the support cycle from someone seeking it, to it being met by identity validation and community. If you have a conference or opportunity for SPFPP to share our story, reach out through www.spfpp.org. I'm also always looking for guests to share their experiences with stigma so if you're interested, let me know!

MAN! I forgot what I said the episode title would be but it rhymed and it was cold ya'll! You'll hear it in the episode.In this solo episode, I reflect on what the tornado that hit St. Louis took from me—and, more importantly, what it gave me. I talk about the gift of presence, the importance of environment, and how stigma fragments our sense of self. It’s through presence—being still, aligned, and honest—that we pull ourselves back together from that fragmentation.I also announce that Mondays at 7:30pm Central are now dedicated to SPFPP events, creating a space for us to connect, reflect, and hold presence together.This episode is a reminder that my purpose has always been to empower people navigating stigma with a sense of choice—how they move, how they heal, how they align. I share my gratitude for my support system during this time of displacement and how this season has clarified that it’s time for me to follow through on what I was meant to do: move to New York.This isn’t about running back to comfort—this is about orbiting my purpose. I’m ready to take SPFPP and my life to the next evolution by aligning my beliefs, behaviors, and environment with who I really am: someone who values challenge and liberation above all else.

This was quite a conversational car ride with my friend/board member, Dr. Amber Sophus. We were talking about how people with different income levels process their herpes diagnosis differently and access and willingness to seek out resources for support looks different for these groups as well. The conversation led into some discussions about how people (mainly women) talk to themselves, how I need to stop calling myself homeless, and a few other identity components that open up the runway for future discussions on stigma. Dr. Sophus works in public health so naturally we spoke more about STIs, sexual health, and behaviors around people knowing that HIV is more manageable, and we have pre-exposure meds that treat Chlamydia chlamydia and gonorrhea, and their risk tolerances.I've been a little ungrounded lately just due to life events. I'm getting back into my rhythm of consistently recording podcast episodes so thank you for your patience with me as I shake off the cobwebs from these past two weeks.I mention our webinar tonight on disclosure which can currently be found at www.spfpp.org/events (you have to register) but it'll be over after 7pm central time and you'll have to reach out to me for the recording access, but there's time if you're reading/listening to this on May 23rd before then.Enjoy this conversation.

What does it mean to live in alignment—with your identity, your energy, and your story? In this soulful episode of Something Positive for Positive People, Courtney Brame is joined by astrologer Tasha Beg (aka Agent of Pluto) for a powerful conversation about identity, ego death, and the journey from shame to self-trust. Together, they explore the intersections of presence, stigma, astrology, and atomic awareness—unpacking what happens when we stop performing and start just being.Connect with Tasha at www.agentofpluto.comIG: @agent.of.plutoIG: @thepopastrologist

In this defining solo episode, Courtney Brame shares the atomic model that’s become the foundation of his purpose, presence, and practice. Drawing from physics, yoga philosophy, and personal experience with stigma, he reveals a spiritual framework where the atom becomes a mirror for conscious living.As the neutron, Courtney stabilizes his proton—his purpose to inspire conscious choice through stigma—and orbits aligned actions across shells that reflect rhythm, emotional truth, and freedom.This is more than a metaphor. It's a spiritual technology. A path. A way back home.If you've ever felt lost in your identity, your diagnosis, or your desires… this episode offers a structure for re-entry.Topics covered include:What it means to “live like an atom”The roles of protons, neutrons, and electrons in life alignmentHow stigma and shame disconnect us from our nucleusResonance vs. driftingApplying the Yamas and Niyamas to stabilize purposeWhy Courtney’s presence got him kicked off Positive SinglesThis episode is a transmission, not a performance. Listen to remember what you already know.

This episode marks the end of an era. Since 2017, the SPFPP podcast has held space for people navigating herpes stigma—but now, it’s time for a shift. I’m closing out Season 1 with some real talk about why I’m expanding the mission. It’s bigger than herpes. Season 2 will center more broadly around positivity—mental health, emotional healing, identity, and minimizing stigma across the board.I share where I’ve been emotionally, what’s brought me here, and what I’ve learned about myself, relationships, and the weight of stigma—beyond just a herpes diagnosis. There’s grief, there’s liberation, and there’s clarity.If you’ve been here since the early days, thank you. If you’re just finding this—welcome. Season 1 will live on as a resource. Season 2 is something that maintains the integrity of season 1 minus the herpes exclusivity, Something Positive for Positive People.

In this raw and introspective solo episode, Courtney shares a deeply personal reflection on grief, growth, and the identity he's releasing after the end of a relationship. Titled The Eulogy of the Ego, this episode explores the integration of his inner child, the pursuit of emotional freedom, and the letting go of expectations—both from others and of himself. He speaks candidly about the emotional toll of societal conditioning, navigating heartbreak as a man, and the space between vulnerability and transformation.⚠️ Note: There is a period of silence between the 1:05:57 and 1:06:58 marks due to a mic issue. Please feel free to skip this portion while listening.

This episode features a real, open convo with Tamar Weir—someone I connected with through her honesty about living with herpes and navigating non-monogamy. Tamar shares her story of being diagnosed with HSV-2 in college, the support she had early on, and what it’s been like moving through the world with both herpes and a relationship style that challenges the norm.We talk about disclosure fatigue, especially when you’re non-monogamous and have to keep having the STI conversation over and over. Tamar shares how she’s shifted from educating people out of insecurity to setting more intentional boundaries—and what it means to not just disclose, but to decide when and how it’s worth it.We also get into how different the stigma around herpes feels outside the U.S., the emotional labor of being “the one who always starts the hard conversations,” and how she’s found strength through softness. If you’ve ever felt like dating requires too much emotional detachment, or if you’re navigating how to talk about herpes in sex-positive spaces, this one will land.Tamar runs a blog called Everything Juicy and an Instagram page called Pomegranate Pleasure (@pomegranatepleasure on Instagram) where she explores sexuality, taboo, and the sensual side of being human. You’ll hear how both herpes and non-monogamy have been portals for her into deeper self-awareness, body wisdom, and connection with others.General Notes: Disclosure Fatigue + Non-Monogamy – The energy drain of having to educate new partners while also managing the burden of stigma.Support Matters – Tamar’s initial support system helped her form a healthy relationship with her diagnosis.Stigma Feels Cultural – Her experiences outside the U.S. reinforce how much of herpes stigma is socially constructed here in the States.Shifting from Educating to Boundary-Setting – She shares how disclosure shifted from proving worth to honoring capacity.Navigating Sex-Positive Spaces – We talk about navigating play parties and kink spaces with an STI and the mixed reactions someone can face.Reframing the Body’s Wisdom – Her outbreaks became cues for rest and self-reflection, not shame.

I recorded this episode on the 12-year anniversary of my herpes diagnosis. In it, I talk openly about the grief I've been processing following a recent breakup, and how anger—something I’ve long masked with niceness—has been quietly shaping my relationships, my work, and my sense of self. I explore how my childhood experiences, emotional suppression, and fear of being perceived as violent have all played a role in keeping me from fully expressing what I need. This is about reclaiming my anger—not as something destructive, but as a compass that points to my unmet needs, boundaries, and desires. It’s also about integrating the split versions of myself I’ve been moving through: the safe, stoic me and the playful, impulsive one. This episode is as much a check-in with y’all as it is with myself.

This episode is an unfiltered look at what happens when you hit a wall. I’ve been grieving, burned out, and realizing just how much I’ve neglected my own needs. In this solo episode, I share my journey of recognizing burnout, learning to set boundaries, and making the decision to take a step back to refocus on what really matters.I talk about canceling an event due to low turnout, how that decision made me reassess my priorities, and the importance of environment in healing. I also reflect on lessons from my Yoga Therapy training and personal experiences that are helping me navigate grief in a healthier way.If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, drained, or like you’re constantly running on empty, this episode is for you. Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to pause and allow yourself to recalibrate.

Courtney Brame returns to the SPFPP podcast with an exciting update—his first-ever in-person clinician training simulation focused on minimizing herpes stigma in medical settings. He shares behind-the-scenes insights on the simulation’s impact, lessons learned, and his vision for expanding this initiative nationwide. This episode also explores themes of self-expression, boundary-setting, and the importance of building stigma-free communities. Tune in for an honest reflection on personal and professional growth, upcoming events, and how you can support the movement for better herpes education.Visit spfpp.org/training for more information!