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© Carrie Bears
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Stories of grief and hope from Carrie Pike creator of carriebears.com. Carrie Bears is a company passionate about helping others on their journey of grief and hope. We make bears and other tangible items that fill empty arms and provide SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO. We love the connections in life that bring us all closer.
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Connor Christensen loved Batman. No but really loved Batman - like wanted to be Batman. He loved taking care of his little sister Lizzie who died when Connor was just 3 years old. And from then on Connor loved kids. He was a swim teacher that knew not just the kids names but the parents names too. He played the drums in his high school marching band and was an Eagle Scout. Connor had some dark times too. His conflict inside overtook him and he died by suicide in the Fall of 2022. His mom Megan said, “Right after Connor died every single breath was hard.” She had already experienced a child dying from a chromosomal disorder when Lizzie was just 14 months old. Megan’s body went into shock and devastation again. In this episode she shares what trauma therapy has helped her in her grief journey. So many family and friends helped her as well. At times, it was overwhelming to return their texts. That’s when the Orange Hearts began. Orange was a Connor’s favorite color. Now anytime anyone is thinking of her or Connor they simply send an orange heart🧡
“I wanted to know her longer….” Haven Pike shares about her friend Laurie, who wasn’t a friend she anticipated having. A friend that came by surprise. Laurie was quirky and thoughtful. She sought out Haven at church and then became a dear friend, an unexpected one that was happy and lively. Hawaiian dresses and Birkenstocks her outfit of choice. Haven said, “Laurie was the most joyous human being. She was so true to who she was. I wish I had known her my whole life!” The connection they had brought a new perspective of friendship to Haven. 💞
I met Scot & Jen Whetman through a mutual friend who made bears for them out of their son Braydon’s clothes. They have such big hearts and have passed that on to their son Braydon. Braydon was a giver. He had a rough shell around him but was a giant teddy bear inside. A self taught guitarist, Braydon learned from the womb to love classic rock🎶. At age 14, he fell in love with flying and in his dad’s words was “born to the air”. He felt free in the air. Braydon joined the army and was eventually deployed to Korea. After having been there, PTSD set in and no one would ever realize how that took over his life. Scot & Jen share the tender, tragic and painful details of finding Braydon after he died by suicide. His parents said, “We miss him and love him dearly. Not a day goes by that we don’t think about Braydon.”
Charlene Cornell honors and shares about her dad, John Christian Cornell in this episode. He was the family chef and family meant everything to him. He was always there, always home, always giving. John worked outside the home as well partnering with his wife to provide for the family. The two of them loved to dance. He'd be caught dancing and singing in the house. Charlene also noticed him pondering at the kitchen sink. She noticed it more the Christmas before he died of colon cancer. "I wonder what he was thinking," she said as she reflected on how she finds herself doing the same thing🩵
MaryKate met her Jorge in the testing center at college. She thought he was so cute 😊 They had a beautiful life together raising their four wonderful children and navigating the twists and turns life brings. Jorge was a go getter and always had the biggest smile 😃. He died way too young from Covid pneumonia in 2021. MaryKate had no intention of finding anyone else to love in this life. But God had a different plan and when she found Randy, who had just lost his wife, they both found happiness again. ♥️♥️
Professional Jazz Musician, Mel Shore shares her journey of heartache, resilience and healing. After living in NYC, Broadway musical tours and seeing the world, she met her husband Scott online. After going out with him she said, “Something about him felt like home.” They had a beautiful winter wedding. Scott planned it all and even baked the cake! They spent the season skiing and just being together. Their beautiful connection ended way too soon when Scott died after a tonsillectomy surgery. Mel said, “Grief is love.” She said her grief journey has helped her see people in a better way. She and a friend who is also a widow started their Widow We Do Now podcast which reaches and helps so many.
Mel had an infectious laugh, a knack for story telling and fierce family loyalty. He had a very specific breakfast routine which included pepperoni sticks and cheese for the dogs. He loved watching nature and would call out to everyone when he’d see a bird. He served in the Air National Guard. Disney and snowbird were his favorite places. And games were always in the plans. He was all about family! He is tenderly missed❣️
Life long friends of Janette Jones Nelson, Laura Kenner and Janette Halpin share memories and glimpses into her life. In April of 2020, Janette Nelson was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Right at the beginning of covid she underwent surgery. For 10 days she was on her own in the hospital. Her dear husband Greg (who said she was the most beautiful girl when he saw her in a college class) only able to see her on FaceTime. Janette had bright hopes of outlasting her 9 month to live prognosis. With her gift of faith and will to beat the odds she saw her middle son married and her youngest son graduate from high school. Janette’s oldest son is autistic and her degree in special education along with her energetic personality helped in raising him and being his ultimate primary care giver. Laura and Janette share fun memories from high school and college where Janette Nelson was always in the middle of anything fun. Janette loved the mountains - skiing in the winters and hiking in the summers. Her memory will live on through her family and army of friends that hold glimmers of her in their hearts.
Jill met Rodney the first day of law school. He was kind. They studied together, dated and married their 3rd year of law school. They started a beautiful family and when their son Noah was 3 years old and Jill was pregnant with their daughter Sam, Rodney was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. So much ache filled Jill as she lost her Rodney before Sam was born. Years later she met Jay. He was full of life and lots of energy. They fell in love and the kids adored him. Jill and Jay decided to add one more to the family and Quinn came to share in the joy! When Quinn was 4 yrs old Jay had a seizure and ended up being diagnosed with the same rare brain tumor. Jill described losing both the loves of her life as lightning bolts of grief to her heart. Through friends and her kids, Jill has been able to remember who she is and who she can be and has a new dream to create a cottage of healing for kids growing up in grief. 🏠❤️🩹
Ursula Barboza lost her son, Gabriel (age 4), to an accident. He was a special little boy. Something was different about him from the very beginning. She said, “There a lot of things we don’t understand in this life. It’s like a puzzle with pieces that fit together here or fit there.” Her wisdom in what she has learned from her grief journey is priceless. As a grief therapist now, she is changing lives and healing hearts. She had a daughter that was not even a month old when Gabriel died. Having to get up and take of her when Ursula didn’t ever want to get out of bed saved her life.
I love Lucy and love that I get to share a little of her with you! She’s always made me feel a part of the family and always shares her love. We talk about the tradition of music, football, Bear Lake, Survivor Nights, making gingerbread houses and more. She lost her husband Doug, seven years ago and her son a year before that. Both too soon. She shares how friends and family carry you through and help you along 🎶🏈♥️
Gena’s best friend, Desiree Cooper-Larsen died in 2021 due to complications of COVID-19. Des was a passionate teacher, leader, mentor, advocate and friend. Her life was devoted to her husband , family, community, and education.
Gena said that when Desiree walked into a room she filled it up with beauty and fun! That’s what happened when they met doing the rodeo thing in high school. They went to different schools but in this sport you helped each other out even though you were competitors. People wanted to be around Des. And she made people better. She qualified for the National High School Rodeo Finals in barrel racing. She danced her way on stage to win Miss Lehi and won the title of Miss Rodeo Lehi. She went on to become Miss Rodeo Utah in 1979. She won the coveted speech award at Miss Rodeo America. She was known for her sense of style, strong determined spirit, and larger than life presence. The friendship of this dynamic duo made things happen. From PCRA rodeo fashion shows to Ogden Pioneer Days… everything done with glitz, class and fun!
Des was the heart and soul of the Ogden Pioneer Days Celebration. She worked endlessly to build a world class PRCA Hall of Fame Rodeo. She will be remembered for bringing the distinguished honor of being selected as a Top 5 PRCA Rodeo of the Year for 13 years. Des is the one and only woman to chair the celebration in its 87-year history.
To inspire those she taught and mentored she would say be “10 Feet Tall and Bullet Proof, Baby”. No doubt those words and her encouragement will carry on in all the hearts of those she influenced and loved💛🤗
I met Allison 17 years ago when her brother, Robert, died. He was their family’s rock. She describes him as the strong, silent type and a ton of fun! He was a wonderful father and husband. After his death from melanoma at age 38, Allison watched her parents grieve. “It crushed them,” she said. It was more than just an emotional loss. Their health deteriorated as well.
Years later, in 2021, Allison’s family had another loss when their dad died followed by their mom just a few months later. Kendall and Marva Hatch created a beautiful, strong bonded family. In their grief for their parents and brother years before, they lean on the strength their parents built. Marva was a shop til you drop fashionista, who loved her family and friends. She just loved people and was a huge fan of the Utah Jazz! Kendall worked in insurance and practiced law. He was an avid fly fisherman, golfer and President of the Utah Historical Society for years. They both never missed the kids and grandkids games and events. They were the most non-judge-mental people.
They didn’t die of covid but they died sooner than they would have because of covid. Allison could see it and said, “We are not meant to be alone.”💗💙
“Peace begins with a smile” - Mother Teresa. Sometimes, when we share a smile even when we don’t want to, it makes us feel better. A smile is contagious. Try the smile game. And spread smiles across the country! It’s starts with just one. Try it! Just smile 😊
My dad loved the mountains. The beauty and the uphill trail all come into our lives. Grateful for my dad’s example to notice the beauty. It helps to balance the heavy part of grief. Honoring our loved ones and all those who have fought to keep us free💙♥️
Lisa met her mother in law, Helen Hanson, the day she was marrying Helen’s youngest son Jim. Helen and Lester Hanson lived on a 1500+ fruit tree farm in Pennsylvania. They began this fruit tree journey after retirement age and enjoyed seeing their hard working efforts pay off. In later years, they lived in Utah where they connected more with family and had cherished time with grandchildren. Lisa loved lunch and shopping outings with Helen. Lisa said, “Helen never said anything negative about anyone. She really cared about people.” Sweet Helen would answer the phone and say, “Hold on a minute.”😊 Then would ask about whatever was going on with genuine interest. She read a lot (sometimes 3 books a week). She worked hard and was so grateful for such a good life.
I am thankful that she was my sweet Aunt and dear friend and sister in law to my mom. Thank you to Lisa for sharing Helen with us in this episode🍎🐻
Nicole’s dad, Blaine Eugene Sylvester, died 20 years ago, exactly 6 months after 9/11. “My dad was everything. My dad was truly my hero,” she says. When her dad was young about 9 or 10 years old, he was told he had rheumatic fever and the doctor said he could never play sports. He didn’t let that stop him. He played professional baseball for the the St. Louis Cardinals, was an NBA referee and a college coach. He did everything he wanted to do. He would always share quotes and wisdom. “Don’t let the fear of striking out keep you out of the game,” and “there are those that make it happen, those that watch it happen and those that wonder what happened” are quotes Nicole remembers him saying over and over again. He has continued to encourage her and bless her life even still. She recently opened a yoga studio in the middle of covid. A bold new journey that she was worried about. When visiting her mom they had turned on the TV and Field of Dreams was on. Of course her dad’s favorite movie. She knew he was reminding her to keep going that if “she would build it they would come.” She misses her dad every day but has drawn light out of her grief and used gratitude to take baby steps forward. She is blessing the lives of others in her divine path and with her beautiful light ✨
Aunt Marj was the best. “She never missed a birthday or an anniversary,” said Debbie Tamcke. She was thoughtful and kind. She married later in life at age 40 and raised sheep with her husband on their ranch in Montana. When the nieces and nephews’ kids participated in rodeos, Marj collected all her Olive Garden coupons and took the family to dinner. Marj loved caring about her friends and they cared about her too. Lockdowns during the recent pandemic were hard. Marj in her 90’s learned how to use a cellphone and FaceTime became the window to her family. The last text Debbie saved from her Aunt Marj said, “Call me.”
Diedra met her Kenneth while she was temporarily living in Virginia. He was in the Navy and she was there enjoying the beach and house sitting her brother’s apartment while he was deployed. When her brother returned he told Diedra she was going to marry Kenneth which took her by surprise but she knew they just fit together. Diedra and Kenneth raised a beautiful biracial family where they knew they were loved and safe. Diedra shared how skin color is not the most important thing and that we are all the same color on the inside. One friendship at a time can help the understanding come and the healing begin.
Sadly, in the middle of 2020, when the whole country was experiencing loss, Diedra had a tragic phone call letting her know of her own deep loss. Kenneth died on impact in a motorcycle accident.
In her heartache, she remembers God wrapping arms around her and that she felt God in control. Her beautiful surprise was realizing that her love with Kenneth just didn’t stop but that their relationship grows everyday. She loves being the keeper of the memories and sees his great characteristics and virtues in each of their kids. Kenneth lives on through them.
Kelly Phillipson, mom to Curtin, told me from the very beginning that her son’s entire mission was to bring their family to Jesus. She shares how her Curtin had the biggest smile and the biggest heart. He loved Jesus with an obedient love. Being born with Down syndrome was not a stumbling block but a blessing. Although in his little life he had physical struggles like open heart surgery, viral pneumonia, cancer and blood clots, he healed the Phillipson family in ways that can’t be quantified. He had a mission to love and to save through Jesus. 😇
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