Soul Gum

See you soon - I'll miss you! Make sure you're subscribed so you know when Soul Gum is back. WHERE TO FIND ME:MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (write “REQUEST FOR SIGNED COPY” in the order notes!)Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠Practice yoga with me at Shanti Yoga Houston on the last Sunday of every month!⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Everyone wants love, but no one can tell you exactly what love is. In this episode, we deep dive into seven philosophical perspectives on love, ranging from the Ancient Greeks to the existentialists. If you’re curious whether Plato thought soulmates were real or Kierkegaard would tell you to text your ex, this episode is for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro (the philosophy of love)03:19 What even is love? (hypotheticals on love)07:07 Ancient Greek philosophy on love 07:35 Origins of the concept of soulmates (Plato’s The Symposium)09:03 Socrates’ ladder of love 13:03 Enlightenment thinkers on love 13:15 Love as social performance (Rousseau)13:58 Rousseau’s two types of self love 15:22 How self love affects how you love others17:31 The humanity formula (Kant)   19:49 Practical vs. passionate love (Kant)22:07 Love as a trick (Schopenhauer)24:04 Why do opposites attract? (Schopenhauer)24:28 Is love just biological encouragement to reproduce? (Schopenhauer)26:06 Existentialists on love26:14 The tension between love and freedom of choice (Sartre)27:50 Love as an objectifying force (Sartre)30:32 Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir’s non-monogamous love story 31:40 The relationship between love and possession (de Beauvoir) 33:06 How your fear of being seen impacts your ability to give and receive love (Sartre, Doestoevsky, de Beauvoir) 36:54 Kierkegaard’s Works of Love 37:22 Unreasonable standards in love (Kierkegaard)42:24 Lightning round recapMENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEPlato, The Symposium (c. 385–370 BCE)Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract (1762)Immanuel Kant, Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals (1785)Immanuel Kant, The Metaphysics of Morals (1797)Arthur Schopenhauer, The World as Will and Representation (1818)Søren Kierkegaard, Works of Love (1847)Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground (1864)Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness (1943)Jean-Paul Sartre, No Exit (1944)Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (1949)Gordon Marino, The Existentialist’s Survival Guide (2018)MY LINKSMAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (write “REQUEST FOR SIGNED COPY” in the order notes!)Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠Practice yoga with me at Shanti Yoga Houston on the last Sunday of every month!⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

What happens when your faith collapses? In this episode, I share my story of spiritual deconstruction and how I learned to believe again—sort of. This isn’t a “how to get your faith back” story. It’s the story of tearing my faith down to the studs, sifting through the rubble, and deciding what was worth keeping. We’ll talk god shaped holes, Kierkegaard, Camus, Pascal’s wager, and the surprising peace of not needing all the answers. This episode if for anyone who is currently filling their god-shaped hole with TikTok marathons, self-help books and spiral-inducing questions. If you started at church camp and have landed in full-blown nihilism, press play. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro: the story of how I lost my faith and got it back (sort of)08:01 1. Why spiritual crises often happen at the worst possible time10:35 How my own spiritual crisis began18:07 Kierkegaard on despair and the self19:47 2. Why spiritual health gets worse before it gets better26:19 The delight of spiritual curiosity27:43 3. Choosing how to fill the God shaped hole29:42 Absurdism and optimistic nihilism (Camus)30:57 Pascal’s Wager explained and what it gets wrong32:51 Approaching belief pragmatically (belief as a choice)33:53 What “god” means to me now 35:33 Can you make yourself believe? Should you?36:16 On stepping in the same river twice (Heraclitus)36:49 Five reflection questions (Rainn Wilson)38:14 Lightning round recap MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death (1849)Rhett McLaughlin’s Spiritual Deconstruction StoryBlaise Pascal, Pensées (1670)St. Augustine, Confessions (c. 400 CE)Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus (1942)Heraclitus, Fragment 49a (c. 500 BCE)Rainn Wilson, Soul Boom (2023)Mary Oliver, Upstream: Selected Essays (2016)MY LINKS• ⁠Listen to my episode of Soul Boom with Rainn Wilson on Spotify • ⁠Watch my episode of Soul Boom with Rainn Wilson on Youtube• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (write “REQUEST FOR SIGNED COPY” in the order notes!)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• Chat with a Trevor Project counselor now ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ANAD helpline ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• 988 lifeline

Want to become a better conversationalist? You should! Good conversations can open doors, build friendships, and even change your life. But in an age of goldfish attention spans, hot takes, and chronic fear of being seen, real connection is harder than ever. The good news? Conversation is an art, but it’s also a science. In this episode, we walk through 5 things great conversationalists do differently, according to philosophy and psychology. If you want to feel less robotic on dates, network without cringing, vibe better with your friends, or just not panic when someone says “tell me about yourself,” this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE:00:00 Intro04:07 1. Seeing conversation as a skill11:03 2. Starting lots of conversations18:30 3. Asking more questions25:06 4. Leaving room for the unexpected29:08 5. Expecting reality, not hyperreality 33:27 Lightning round recap 36:19 Challenge MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Simulacra and Simulation, Jean Baudrillard (1981)TALK: The Science of Conversation and The Art of Being Ourselves, Alison Wood Brooks (2025)

Feeling stuck, numb, or overwhelmed? Crashing out for the third time this week? Good news! Philosophy, the sad girl discipline of academia, has lots of advice for you. This episode breaks down 5 reasons why we get stuck according to philosophical greats like Franz Kafka, Soren Kierkegaard, Jean Paul Sartre, Albert Camus and more. We’ll talk about practical strategies to climb out of your spiral and start feeling like yourself again. If your search history includes ‘why am I like this’ and ‘how to feel okay again,’ press play.EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 04:53 You’re stuck because…05:00 1. You’re free 05:18 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)06:04 We’re condemned to be free (Sartre)07:13 The fig tree allegory (Sylvia Plath)13:21 2. You’re choosing information over experience 13:35 Mary’s Room hypothetical (Jackson)22:49 3. You’ve outgrown a version of yourself23:02 The Metamorphosis (Kafka) 26:54 4. You’re expecting sense in senseless places27:04 The Trial (Kafka)35:14 5. You think nothing matters 35:24 Mechanical life (Camus)36:34 The moment of the absurd (Camus)37:13 The myth of Sisyphus (Camus) 40:08 Lightning round recap MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: On Anxiety, Soren Kierkegaard (1844)Being and Nothingness, Jean Paul Sartre (1943)The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath (1963)The Big Secret, Deepak Chopra (2008)Epiphenomenal Qualia, Frank Jackson (1982) The Metamorphosis, Franz Kafka (1915)The Trial, Franz Kafka (1925)The Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus (1942)

19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro06:34 The camel spirit 11:32 The lion spirit 17:25 The child spirit 25:40 Lightning round recap 26:43 ChallengeMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro02:14 1. Take notes  06:57 2. Write by hand08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect 14:54 5. Change your conversation norms18:08 6. Practice hard attention21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule22:33 8. Chew your brain food23:54 9. Show what you don’t know26:20 Newsletter recs 27:41 Philosophy podcast recs28:08 Poetry recs29:40 Lightning round recap 

So your life just changed. Maybe you moved, your relationship ended, or you quit a job. You've found yourself in new territory without your usual routines, roles, or scripts. You're Googling “who even am I?” every night.Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In this episode, I’m sharing 8 things I wish I knew during past seasons of change in my life. The in-between is uncomfortable, but it's also full of possibility. If you’re in a messy middle right now, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 03:35 How to follow your intuition 06:38 How to know the right choice10:50 The effect of your ego14:10 The impact of who you keep close 19:27 The importance of confrontation23:21 The impact of tiny choices 26:40 How to shift into the next chapter 28:59 Hard versus wrong SOURCESSmoke filled room study Balloon study bell hooks, all about love Audre Lorde essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and ActionChurning of the ocean story from the Mahabharata 

How you spend your weeks is how you spend your life. In this episode, I walk through five powerful philosophical, psychological and spiritual concepts—including Nietzsche’s eternal return, Aristotle’s golden mean, the planning fallacy, and Parkinson’s Law—that will help you create a weekly routine you love. I also let you in on my own weekly routine, including a Sunday night ritual to rewire your brain and my top tips for planning weeks that change your life. EPISODE OUTLINE04:21 Nietzsche’s eternal return12:27 Aristotle’s golden mean 19:04 The jar principle & Parkinson’s law23:16 “I don’t have time” vs. “it’s not a priority”25:28 The planning fallacy (Kahneman) 31:59 Dharma37:22 My weekly routineMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is  it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do 16:07 3. You should care what some people think 18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually26:21 6. You don’t know what people think30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good39:27 Lightning round recap42:29 ChallengeEPISODE LINKS• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl • The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir• The Art of Living by Epictetus • Spotlight Effect Study • Social Rejection Triggers Physical Pain Brain Centers • Surgeon General's Report on the Health Impact of Loneliness MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Is the self something we find—or something we create? We’re constantly told to “be ourselves,” but the world teaches us fast that we also need to be likable, marketable, and hot. No wonder we’re all confused. In this episode, we dive into how different philosophers—from Socrates to Simone de Beauvoir to Carl Jung—understood the search for the true self and how their insights can help us stop performing and start living more honestly. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing your personality instead of living it, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro05:49 Sigmund Freud09:08 Attachment theory (Bowlby & Ainsworth)10:55 Carl Jung’s theory on masks and shadows12:15 The chill girl mask (Gone Girl)13:34 Shapeshifter (MAKE BELIEVE) 14:38 The masks vs. the Self15:04 Rousseau’s natural vs. social man17:15 Using logic to hide from passion 17:55 For the ones who left (MAKE BELIEVE)19:37 Freud, Jung & Rousseau reflection questions 21:48 Sartre: owning your agency as authenticity23:08 Sartre’s concept of bad faith 24:12 Simone de Beauvoir on social class 26:41 The upper limit theory (Gay Hendricks)27:25 But also, the playing field isn’t level27:48 Sartre & de Beauvoir reflection questions29:27 Heidegger: inauthenticity due to death denial 31:33 Authenticity vs. ethics and compassion33:23 Authenticity vs. self-protection 34:01 Kant’s categorical imperative34:48 Socrates: dying on the hill of authenticity35:26 Socrates and Kant reflection questions36:46 Nietzsche on creation of the true self 37:17 Does everyone have a calling?38:19 Jealousy as a clue to your passions38:33 The “love it for you, want it for me” folder39:53 Nothing grows if you don’t water it40:18 Nietzsche reflection questions  41:50 Lightning round recap EPISODE LINKS• Carl Jung, The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious (1959) and Modern Man in Search of a Soul (1933)• Jean-Paul Sartre, Being and Nothingness (1943)• Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex (1949)• Authenticity episode of In Our Time: Philosophy MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  

In a flop era that feels like it will never end? I know that feeling. If you’re in a rut—whether it’s burnout, a creative freeze, or a “what now” spiral after a big life change—I made this episode for you. I share about my own recent rut, what helped me get through it, and a practical 3-step roadmap grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and philosophy. This one’s part pep talk, part game plan, part love letter to anyone feeling stuck. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:00 My “what now?” rut06:46 Roadmap out of your rut 08:06 1. Get your story straight08:29 You haven’t ruined your life 09:48 My bar exam story15:48 You are not alone16:26 Lifequakes17:55 You are not lazy 18:54 Are you burnt out?20:44 The classic existential crash out 22:14 Are you in functional freeze?23:42 Perfectionism-procrastination-paralysis cycle26:31 2. Make a plan 26:47 Friction audit (Adam Alter)30:01 Smallest possible actions 32:47 Lower the bar or you won’t reach for it33:43 The photography class experiment 38:13 3. Have grace for yourself 38:21 How dare you say you’re not trying?39:20 What you have to give right now is enough39:53 Lightning round recap  MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  

What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability?In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you.A few things we dive into:A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games)The role of the “spark” in attractionThe psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20sThe stigma of being singleThe commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship)Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me tear up a little. Whether you’re trying to understand your patterns, make sense of someone else's, or just feel a little less alone in the dating trenches, this one will stick with you. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro02:51 The formula for attraction04:21 1. Proximity07:10 2. Similarity11:43 3. Familiarity14:03 The 3 month rule16:55 The curse of comfort19:31 The sunk cost fallacy21:06 The fear of starting over22:37 4. Reciprocity23:13 The harm of playing games26:36 5. A spark27:19 The psychology of common relationship pitfalls27:31 1. Repetition compulsion31:04 2. The stigma of being single36:45 3. Situationships38:23 The commitment-readiness scale40:21 Permission slip to grieve your situationship <342:09 Lightning round recap43:26 Last question: what would you tell past you? PERSON IN PROGRESSIf you liked this episode, you will love PERSON IN PROGRESS. Out now and available everywhere you buy books. Get your copy today!PERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGPERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGPERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  PS - This is the study I mentioned that found that single women are one of the happiest demographics on Earth. And an article about it here!

What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro01:23 1. The likability paradox 03:12 2. The paradox of choice06:09 3. The paradox of knowledge 06:52 The Dunning-Kruger Effect08:22 4. The paradox of failure 09:12 Not choosing is a choice (Jean-Paul Sartre)10:33 5. The paradox of tolerance (Karl Popper) 11:03 James Baldwin on agreeing to disagree 12:20 6. The paradox of moving on 12:46 Ironic process theory 14:19 7. The paradox of pleasure15:37 Aristotle's virtue-based happiness16:08 Viktor Frankl on happiness 17:07 The dopamine trap 18:03 8. The paradox of freedom18:33 Self-determination theory 20:02 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)20:52 9. The paradox of shadow sides (Carl Jung) 22:54 10. The paradox of the comfort zone 24:46 Lightning round recap MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Getting back in the saddle? I love that for you. But here’s the truth: staying on track takes more than motivation. If you’ve been craving a fresh start but don't know where to start, this episode is for you. We’re breaking down 8 of the most common ways people sabotage their own progress—from relying too much on discipline to using self-hate as fuel. Whether you have a big dream or just want to get unstuck, you deserve to enter your next chapter with eyes wide open. Let’s talk about the philosophy and psychology of making a comeback stick. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:40 Eight ways to sabotage a comeback03:22 1. Believing you're behind06:19 2. Being apologetic about what you want07:18 You hold yourself back when you move in silence08:41 You're being judgmental when you assume people are judging you10:28 3. Underestimating the subconscious mind10:45 The neuroscience of manifestation12:46 Self-deprecation is manifesting too 14:37 4. Focusing only on your how & not your why14:47 Nietzsche's will to power15:20 Chasing superficial whys 17:14 5. Underestimating the power of small changes19:38 Results are a lagging measure of effort (James Clear) 21:30 6. Focusing on what you can't control21:55 Amor Fati: loving your fate (Nietzsche)23:22 PS: My book MAKE BELIEVE is out now 24:05 Stop feeling bad for yourself for not figuring it out sooner25:58 7. Waiting until you're ready to start26:30 Hiding in the planning phase 26:51 The confidence-competence loop27:50 8. Using self-hate as fuel 29:56 Lightning round recap30:56 Give yourself some creditEPISODE LINKSMichigan State Study on accountability⁠Mind Magic by Dr. James DotyStudy using fMRI showing impact of visualization on motor cortexThe Gay Science by Friedrich Nietzsche MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

The tariffs won’t just affect your wallet—they’ll also affect your soul. In this episode, we walk through 5 spiritual side effects of an economic downturn (per Abraham Maslow, Karl Marx, and Simone Weil). Then we’ll talk through 3 philosophically-rooted tips for tending to your soul during (yet another) unprecedented time. Are the people wearing milkmaid dresses to the club a recession indicator? What would Karl Marx think about you hating your coworkers who won’t stay late at the office? How can we prioritize spirituality at a time like this without being navel-gazey? Let’s talk about it. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 03:16 5 spiritual impacts of a recession03:45break06:39 1. Accessing spirituality gets harder 06:52 Maslow’s hierarchy of needs08:37 Simone Weil and Simone du Beauvoir clash 11:05 Everyone’s an existentialist until the rent is due12:31 2. Resurgence of traditional faith systems 12:39 Hemline index 13:36 Moral panics during recessions 13:52 Today: trad wives, homesteading and Catholic core14:28 The link between economic security & decline of religious affiliation 16:33 3. Disconnection from nature and each other 16:58 Karl Marx’s 1844 paper on alienation of labor 21:23 4. Escapism becomes more tempting than ever21:44 Lipstick index 22:40 TikTok restock videos as a recession indicator 23:10 Alcohol sales during recessions 23:54 TikTok shop dupe culture as a recession indicator 24:35 5. We’re ripe for spiritual expansion25:42 The god shaped hole (Pascal) 26:27 3 practical tips for spiritual health during a recession26:42 1. Other people are not your competition27:28 “Be kind to people and ruthless to systems” 27:40 2. Tactile hobbies and reconnecting with the fruits of our labor29:38 3. Spirituality during hard times is best served pragmatically and people-focused 31:58 Challenge: noticing me versus them moments MY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

We all want to be happy—but so many of the ways we chase happiness actually leave us more disconnected, burnt out, or empty than before. In this episode, we’ll walk through five of the most common happiness traps: the things we do to feel better that often make us feel worse. Along the way, we’ll explore what Nietzsche, Marx, and modern Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek have to say about the pursuit of joy. Then, we’ll turn to one of the longest-running studies on happiness to ask the big question: when it comes to feeling good, what actually works? No one has the secret to happiness. But a lot of smart people have said a lot of smart things that might help you feel better and access a little more joy. Let’s talk about it.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro01:18 Break03:22 5 happiness traps 03:27 1. Overconsumption 06:00 Overconsumption starts with scarcity programming07:11 Nietzsche & overconsumption as a way to fill the void 10:37 2. Chasing achievements 11:46 Slavoj Zizek and the duty to enjoy the grind13:26“Don’t be ridiculous, Andrea. Everyone wants this.”14:18 Superego injunction: “a million girls would kill to have this job”15:22 On using a lack of happiness as fuel to grind 15:56 3. Comparison 18:11 Downward social comparison 22:12 4. Self- and symptom-focused spiritual practices 22:55 Marx on how economic systems shape values 23:28 Self-centered spirituality in the West 24:41 Spirituality as a bandaid vs a root cause solution (Zizek)25:45 5. Isolation 27:03 The hyperindividualism crisis28:00 We owe each other stuff28:17 We want things from each other, and we should28:23 Harlow’s monkey study on attachment 30:13 We’re living in our own worlds31:28 So what DOES work? 31:57 Harvard happiness study 35:13 Challenge 36:19 Lightning round recapMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Let’s hang on tour!!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

I’m thinking of someone. Guess who? They’re a trailblazing artist. LGBTQ-adjacent. A Gemini from Long Island. An artist trying to make sense of rapid technological change and political division. No, not Lady Gaga. Not RuPaul. Not Frank Ocean. Think older. Centuries older. Today we’re talking about the great American poet, Walt Whitman.Walt Whitman was born in 1819, but his world feels eerily familiar. His New York was reeling from technological change and caught in a web of political division. Sound familiar? In this episode, we explore Whitman’s life—from his roots as a Brooklyn typesetter to his rise as the great American poet. We’ll unpack his most famous work, Leaves of Grass, and the ideas in it that scandalized entire towns. We’ll talk about the beauty of contradiction, the divinity of the mundane, and the radical interconnectedness of all things. We’ll ask: what does it mean to write about hope and unity at a Time Like This? If you’re questioning how your art (or your heart) fits into a collapsing society, this episode is for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:56 Life Update: Tour! USA Today Bestseller! Bali?05:32 Walt Whitman: a Long Island Gemini  06:03 1800s NY: Nationalism, populism, manifest destiny07:52 Sound familiar? 09:02 Walt Whitman’s early life10:11 Walt Whitman, the reluctant teacher11:05 Walt Whitman, the starving artist 12:27 Walt Whitman does a social media detox13:00 Walt Whitman emerges with a first draft13:14 Leaves of Grass: not like other girls 14:00 1855 Walt Whitman is giving Woodstock 14:14 Publication expert level: just like us 14:44 Walt Whitman gets left on read   14:48 Enter: Ralph Waldo Emerson15:54 Walt Whitman is his own cheerleader 17:47 Walt Whitman is as petty as the rest of us18:22 Leaves of Grass starts to get legs 18:41 Leaves of Grass gets smuttier 18:57 Walt Whitman is not an angel 21:02 The Civil War changes everything 22:21 Leaves of Grass, an OG banned book23:01 Walt Whitman’s legacy 24:03 Walt Whitman quotes that will change your brain chemistry24:18 1. “Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you”25:07 My ego nap25:59 2. “I am large, I contain multitudes” 26:39 The categorification of the human experience27:10 you are not a cottagecore coastal grandma clean girl mob wife u are a spiritual being having a human experience  28:48 3. “The smallest sprout shows there really is no death”31:09 4. “Do you guess I have some intricate purpose?”  EPISODE LINKS• Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman• Stuff You Missed in History Class episode• Comedy by Bo Burnham• My Writer’s Digest article on writing about hopeMY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• Let’s hang on tour!!⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  

When was the last time you felt genuine awe? Not just happiness, not “that’s cool,” but deep, childlike wonder? In this episode, we explore 7 five-minutes-or-less practices that can help you feel more present, more alive, and more connected to the quiet magic all around you. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 01:28 MAKE BELIEVE is out now02:50 Come hang with me on tour?   03:51 7 tiny ways to cultivate awe03:54 1. Look closely at ordinary nature04:20 The goggles of habit 04:41 Walt Whitman: what is the grass?05:27 Thich Nhat Hanh’s tangerine meditation07:31 Rumi & the blurriness of separation 09:14 2. Look up10:00 The benefits of tree gazing10:29 Mary Oliver’s When I Am Among the Trees11:48 3. Unitask music 11:55 Music used to be the main course13:06 One song no multitasking challenge13:29 Make an awe playlist 13:40 4. Make unsmall small talk 14:19 Martin Buber’s I-Thou vs I-It15:50 Challenge: be aware during small talk16:17 The sacred ground of connection16:50 5. Remember pale blue dot 17:08 The Voyager photo17:36 Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot 19:10 Pondering our tininess 21:04 6. Make an awe signal22:21 7. Keep an awe list 22:43 The Zeigarnik Effect24:53 Lightning round recapEPISODE LINKS• @boywaif post on the goggles of habit• Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman• Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh• Sometimes & When I Am Among the Trees by Mary Oliver• Carl Sagan’s Pale Blue Dot• I and Thou by Martin Buber• Rumi (Coleman Bark’s Essential Rumi) • The Zeigarnick Effect MY LINKS• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• Let’s hang on tour!!⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

We romanticize big life changes—quitting the job, moving to the dream city, chasing the thing we’ve always wanted. But big changes have big side effects. And if you don’t see them coming, they might just send you running back to the life you were trying to leave behind. In this episode, we’re breaking down six warnings I wish someone had told me before I changed everything. If you’re craving a big shift, let’s make sure you’re ready for it.EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro 01:45 Life update + tour!  05:52 6 warnings about changing your life 06:14 1. It will not automatically make you happy07:44 Harvard happiness study08:34 The hedonic treadmill 9:54 2. You will have an identity crisis  10:12 Ship of Theseus 11:40 3. You’ll probably feel stuck12:04 Diamond Example 13:12 Change happens at tipping points 15:31 4. It never stops feeling vulnerable15:55 Asch conformity study 17:18 The neuroscience of fear & hope19:43 It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed22:33 5. There’s no magic pill 24:32 6. You’ll feel torn between who you were and who you’re becoming 24:52 Janus, the Roman god of transitions27:18 Lightning round recapMY LINKS⁠⁠⁠⁠• Preorder my poetry book MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow to get a free poem print and a personalized signed copy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Preorder MAKE BELIEVE from Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, and more⁠⁠⁠⁠• Let’s hang on tour!!⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Get the Believe Again yoga flow, guided meditation and mini-journal bundle free when you preorder MAKE BELIEVE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  EPISODE LINKS⁠⁠⁠⁠• Ship of Theseus ⁠⁠⁠⁠• Harvard happiness study⁠⁠⁠⁠• The hedonic treadmill ⁠⁠⁠⁠• Digging for diamonds cartoon⁠⁠⁠⁠• Janus: the god of doors, gates and transitions