Soul Kink Therapy

Why is your Base Chakra (Root) the center of your belonging, safety, and money?In this session with tantra practitioner Janelle, we explore the Tantric Path of spirituality—bringing the divine energy down towards the Mother Earth. We discuss the toxic culture that puts Divine Masculine (focus, goals) on a pedestal while dismissing the Divine Feminine (surrender, intuition).This video offers a practical guide to Male Feminine Embodiment through Solo Base Practice and ritual. Learn the "I am the woman I've been waiting for" revelation, how to use ritual to move stuck energy (the "money hole"), and actionable tips for aftercare and partner play. This practice is the path to liberation from shame and finding true self-love.0:00 - 1:14 - Intro: What Does "Home" and "Belonging" Mean?1:15 - 2:30 - Welcome Janelle: The Sacredness of the Base/Root2:31 - 4:44 - Base Chakra: Attached to Security, Belonging, and Shame4:45 - 6:59 - Spirituality: The Tantric Path (Down towards the Earth/Safety)7:00 - 9:39 - Divine Masculine (Freedom) vs. Divine Feminine (Safety)9:40 - 12:44 - Masculine & Feminine Archetypes: Balancing the Qualities12:45 - 15:44 - What are the Feminine Qualities? (Surrender, Receptive, Chaos)15:45 - 18:44 - The Culture's Toxic Masculine Imbalance18:45 - 21:44 - Feminine Embodiment: Beyond Makeup and Heels21:45 - 24:44 - Practice: Why You Need to Slow Down (Intuition)24:45 - 26:59 - Janelle's Journey: The Base is "Blocked"27:00 - 29:29 - Shame Flashbacks: The Stuck Energy29:30 - 32:29 - The Invitation: Solo Base Practice (Putting Things Inside)32:30 - 34:39 - The Ritual: Creating a Nest, Altar, and Intentional Space34:40 - 36:29 - Revelation: "I Am the Woman I've Been Waiting For"36:30 - 38:59 - Honoring the Differences (Feminine Evolution)39:00 - 41:44 - The Power of Ritual: Slowing Down the Adornment41:45 - 43:59 - The Base is Sacred: Essential for Aliveness (Excretion)44:00 - 46:29 - The Base Experience: Vulnerability for All Genders46:30 - 48:44 - The Goal: To Feel More (Not Better)48:45 - 50:14 - Third Eye in the Base? (Orgasmic Pleasure Range)50:15 - 52:44 - The Purpose of Pleasure: Moving Stuck Energy52:45 - 54:59 - Partner Practice: Starting with Safety (Enema for Nervous System)55:00 - 57:44 - Partner Practice: Slowness, Lube, and Pressure57:45 - 59:29 - Position: Face-to-Face Connection is Key59:30 - 1:00:15 - The Aftercare: Closing the Hole

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses sensitive topics, including suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in the US and Canada.Gumba is a devoted husband and professional who is privately grappling with profound masochism and degradation kinks, rooted in a lifelong ache that he realizes is suicidal ideation. His highest desire is obliteration, a goal that is unattainable—leading to constant mental anguish.In this session, we use Internal Family Systems (IFS) to stop running and meet the creatures within him: Bernard (the shame), No Name (the functional protector), and Gumba (the pleasure/addiction). This process is about healing the shame, integrating the "bad" parts, and finding self-acceptance for the kink that is an alchemization of his darkest trauma.0:00 - 1:00 - TRIGGER WARNING: Suicidal Ideations1:01 - 2:00 - Welcome Gumba: The Conflict of Masochism & Self-Acceptance2:01 - 3:59 - Gumba's Story: Early Awakening & Strict Upbringing4:00 - 6:59 - The "Red Flag" & Confessing Kinks on the First Date7:00 - 9:59 - The Kink Described: Degradation, Obliteration, & Financial Domination10:00 - 12:29 - The Purpose of Kink: Responsibility is Taken Off & Service12:30 - 14:29 - The Polarity of Sex and Money (Financial Domination)14:30 - 16:30 - The Paradox: Gumba Still Struggles with Self-Acceptance16:31 - 18:59 - The Physical Constraint: "My Body Can't Keep Up"19:00 - 21:00 - The "Blue Balls" Analogy: Constipation of Desire21:01 - 23:59 - The Core Conflict: Achieving the Kink Goal Means Ending Life24:00 - 27:00 - The Fire Behind the Smoke: The Lifelong Ache to Not Be Here29:31 - 33:00 - The Kink Alchemization: Turning Shame into Pleasure (Diamond from Coal)34:30 - 36:59 - The Core Work: You Have to Stop Running37:00 - 39:59 - IFS: Meeting the Creatures (The Fear of the Suicidal Creature)40:00 - 42:29 - Finding the Functional Creature: No Name45:30 - 47:59 - Gumba Meets Bernard (The Core Shame/Darkness)51:00 - 54:29 - Gumba Meets Gumba (The Pleasure/Addiction Creature)54:30 - 56:59 - Gumba (The Creature) is the Glove Bernard Wears57:00 - 59:59 - Healing Bernard: Removing the Shame/Guilt Orb1:00:00 - 1:03:29 - Bernard's True Job: Accountability (Not Shame)1:03:30 - 1:05:59 - The Integration: Gumba, No Name, and Bernard Share the Orb1:06:00 - 1:08:29 - Gumba's Final Reflection: "I'm Glad I Didn't Chicken Out"1:08:30 - 1:11:31 - Outro & Call to Action

"Am I a cross-dresser or am I trans?" "Is my cross-dressing just a kink or my true gender identity?" These are some of the biggest questions in the kink community.In this special episode, we talk with Roisen, who sits at the unique intersection of these worlds. Roisen is a gender-fluid cross-dresser and a Nurse Practitioner working in trans-affirming care.Roisen shares his powerful personal journey of navigating the "pink fog" of fetishization, discovering his non-sexual feminine self, and how he successfully came out to his wife of 15 years.We discuss the right way to tell your partner about cross-dressing (hint: it's not a "200 lb trauma dump"), the power of "baby steps," and the critical difference between "tolerating" your gender and having gender dysphoria. This is a masterclass in gender, identity, and kink.0:00 - Intro: The Intersection of Cross-Dressing & Trans-Affirming Care1:40 - Welcome Roisen: A Cross-Dresser & Nurse Practitioner2:20 - Roisen's Experience in Trans-Affirming Care3:15 - Being "Out" at Work (Using He/Him & She/Her)5:30 - "I Don't Consider Myself Transgender"6:00 - Patient Journeys: Some Start as Cross-Dressers, Some Don't8:45 - The Stigma of Cross-Dressing (Is it a Kink or Identity?)10:00 - Why Roisen is "Out" at Work (An Act of Trust)14:00 - Advice for "Am I a Cross-Dresser or Am I a Woman?"14:45 - The "Paint Sample" Analogy (Spectrum vs. Gradient)16:15 - Why Roisen Moved from "Cross-Dresser" to "Gender Fluid"17:00 - Roisen's Origin Story (The Halloween Fairy)18:45 - The Internet Rabbit Hole & Fetishization19:50 - "Lost in the Pink Fog"22:00 - Realizing It's Not Just Sexual23:15 - 15-Year Relationship: Telling His Wife24:00 - "Roisen is Barbie" (Wife's Lack of Interest vs. Derision)26:45 - How NOT to Tell Your Partner (The "200 lbs of Trauma" Dump)28:30 - The RIGHT Way: Building a Culture of Acceptance29:30 - The "Baby Steps" Method (Painting Nails, Facials)31:30 - "Hold Yourself So You Can Hold Them"33:15 - Was There One Pivotal Moment? (No, Many Small Clicks)35:30 - Moving Kink Into the Bedroom (And Failing at First)37:00 - Finding a Healthy Sex Life (Switching & Dom/Sub)39:15 - The "0 to 100" Problem (Porn vs. Reality)40:30 - BDSM Munches & Communication41:30 - The "Sissy Maid" Fantasy (It's a "Play")43:00 - Is There Tension Between Trans & Cross-Dressing Communities?45:00 - Why the Trans Community is "Guarding" (Fear & Safety)46:00 - The "Day Walker" Privilege48:00 - Shame & Fear in the Cross-Dressing Community49:00 - Terminology: "Cross-Dresser" vs. "Gender Fluid"52:00 - What Does "Gender Queer" Mean?54:00 - Why is Cross-Dressing Seen as "Just a Kink"?55:00 - The Benefit of "Sissification" (A "Petri Dish" for Exploration)58:00 - Advice for Those Unhappy as a Man59:00 - "That's a Person Who Needs Professional Help"59:45 - Gender Dysphoria vs. Gender Incongruence1:01:00 - "It's Not Good Enough to Tolerate Your Gender"1:02:00 - Fear of "Pandora's Box"1:03:00 - Final Thoughts: "I Was That 16-Year-Old Boy"1:04:00 - Outro

How do you introduce chastity to your partner without them "running for the hills"? For "Alan," a longtime chastity enthusiast, this conversation has been a series of "crashes and burns."He'd come in like a "bull in a china shop," treat his partner as a "kink dispenser," or get lost in fantasy vs. realityIn this episode of Soul Kink Therapy, we discover the real reason his attempts fail: he's only telling half the storyUsing an Internal Family Systems (IFS) process, we uncover the core wound behind his desire: a deep-seated fear of being "invisible." We then role-play the wrong way (and the right way) to have this conversation, moving from manipulation to authentic, vulnerable devotion. This is a masterclass in kink communication, how to ask a partner to be your keyholder, and the "Kink Paraphrasing" technique.0:00 - Intro: Kink, Devotion & Liberation1:00 - Welcome Alan: How to Introduce Chastity to a Partner2:20 - Alan's Reframe: Chastity as a "Gift"3:45 - Host Clarifies: "What is Chastity?" (The Cage & Key)5:10 - Alan's First Experience (His "Awakening")7:15 - "Am I Still a Guy to Want This?" (Internal Battles)8:30 - Chastity as a Tool for "Focus"9:30 - The Connection: "You Become Literally Devoted"10:45 - The Big Mistakes: "Bull in a China Shop"11:30 - The "Kink Dispenser" & "Fantasy vs. Reality"12:45 - Obsessing Over the Kink13:30 - "What Are You Chasing?"14:15 - IFS Process: "Internal Family Systems"15:30 - The "Bubbly" Creature: "It Wants to Be Noticed"17:00 - The Core Wound: "Fear of Being Invisible"20:00 - Alan's Reaction: "Tense"21:15 - Why You're Only Telling Half the Story (The Wound)22:30 - "It Lands Square in the Face"24:15 - Last Time He Introduced It25:40 - "If You Don't Share, It's Curtains" (The Most Important Rule)28:00 - Role-Play: Alan's (Bad) Attempt30:00 - Deconstructing the Bad Role-Play (It's a Performance)31:30 - "It's Manipulative"32:45 - The Barbed-Wire Fence Analogy (Protecting the Wound)34:30 - The "Gift" vs. "Transactional" (Serving vs. Controlling)37:00 - "You Neglect to See the Other Person"39:00 - The Good Role-Play: Emily's Example42:00 - The "Kink Paraphrasing" Technique44:00 - "Say the Words"45:00 - Letting the Other Person Have the Floor46:00 - Final Thoughts & Wrap-up48:00 - Final Blessing for Alan50:00 - That's It for Soul Kink Therapy51:00 - Pre-recorded Outro / Call to Action (Free Course)Want to support our mission of liberation? Leave a review on this podcast! The first 50 people to email a screenshot of their review to hello@soulkink.com get free lifetime access to my "Meet Your Inner Dom" course and are entered to win a free one-hour session

What happens when a 12-year marriage ends and you have to rediscover who you are? For many, the journey to finding their authentic self is confusing, but for my client Tree, it led him to kink.In this episode of Soul Kink Therapy, my former client Tree shares his powerful story of post-divorce healing. We discuss his journey from a self-described "goopy people-pleaser" suppressing his desires to a balanced, authentic man who found his purpose. Tree talks openly about healing shame from his conservative Asian background, using conscious kink to find self-love, and the process of discovering his own dominant energy after identifying as a submissive for years.This is a must-watch for anyone navigating a new chapter, healing from a breakup, or looking to reconcile their "kinky self" with their "authentic self."0:00 - 1:19 - Welcome Tree: A Client's Journey After Divorce1:20 - 3:49 - Where Tree Was: Post-Divorce, Purposeless, & Kink Shame3:50 - 5:49 - Blindsided by Divorce: Losing His Purpose5:50 - 8:44 - Suppressing His Authentic Self (and Kink) in Marriage8:45 - 11:39 - "Topping from the Bottom": An Inauthentic Submissive Dynamic11:40 - 14:14 - Losing His Identity & Post-Divorce Rebellion (Pro-Doms)14:15 - 16:14 - Realizing He Needed "Something Deeper" Than Shallow Kink16:15 - 17:59 - The Role of ADHD in His Journey18:00 - 20:59 - Why Kink Felt Like "Connection"21:00 - 23:14 - The "Creatures": Confronting and Loving the "Worst" Parts23:15 - 26:39 - Conscious Kink as a "Parade" for Trauma26:40 - 28:59 - What is a "Container"? (Kink & Exposure Therapy)29:00 - 32:39 - From "Goopy People Pleaser" to "Present" (Flow State & Meditation)32:40 - 35:19 - Learning Containment vs. Penetration Energy35:20 - 38:29 - Finding His Dominant Side: The 50/50 Switch38:30 - 40:09 - The Kink Imbalance: More Male Subs than Female Doms40:10 - 43:39 - How Self-Love Changed His Dating Energy43:40 - 45:29 - Meeting His New Partner (A Fellow "Switch")45:30 - 46:59 - "Creepiness is Desire That is Unowned"47:00 - 48:09 - How Kink Works in His New, Healthy Relationship48:10 - 50:14 - The Biggest Lesson: Finding Purpose in Himself50:15 - 53:29 - Healing the "Provider" Wound (Asian & Male Identity)53:30 - 54:19 - Kink as a "Bait and Switch" for Self-Work54:20 - 55:10 - How Being Biracial (Asian/Native) Shows Up55:11 - 56:20 - Reframing Identity as a "Superpower" & Final Advice

Welcome back to Soul Kink Therapy! In this incredibly special episode, I'm welcoming my former client. For over a decade, he lived a secret double life as a submissive man, seeing professional dominants while maintaining a “good person” facade in his everyday world. He joins me today to share his profound journey of coming out as kinky, navigating the painful end of a long-term marriage due to secrecy and shame, and ultimately finding liberation through our therapeutic kink work together.We dive deep into the initial thrill and fear of exploring kink, the unexpected bedrock of truth he found in a long-term relationship with his Dom. The earth-shattering moment he realized that the parts of himself he'd hidden away—the aggressive, dominant parts—were not only acceptable but deeply desired. He shares his experience of moving from being completely disconnected from his body and emotions to embracing the full spectrum of his being, including the deliciousness of becoming a switch. This is a powerful testament to the healing potential of kink when approached with intention and courage.00:00 - 03:00 - Welcome to Soul Kink Therapy with Thomas Covenant03:00 - 07:15 - Thomas's Early Kink Discoveries & The Need to Escape07:15 - 10:45 - The Journey into Seeing Pro-Doms & Meeting His Goddess10:45 - 14:10 - The Bedrock of Truth: The Long-Term Dom/Sub Relationship14:10 - 17:15 - Kink as Truth vs. Theater: A Key Distinction17:15 - 20:40 - The "Good Person" Trap: Hiding the Authentic Self20:40 - 25:35 - Coming Out as Kinky: Facing the Fear of Rejection25:35 - 30:50 - The Painful Process of Honesty & Ending a Marriage30:50 - 33:15 - Finding Therapeutic Kink Support (How Thomas Found Emily)33:15 - 37:35 - The Shock of Embodiment: Feeling Emotions for the First Time37:35 - 41:10 - Unpacking the Fear of Dominance & The "Inner Asshole"41:10 - 45:15 - The Earth-Shattering Moment: Realizing Aggression Can Be Desired45:15 - 47:45 - Integrating the Inner Dom: Meeting "Avi" (My Father)47:45 - 51:25 - The Deliciousness of Being a Switch: Steak vs. Dessert51:25 - 55:25 - Thomas's Advice: Put Yourself at Risk (Safely)55:25 - 56:47 - Final Thoughts & How to Get Support

Welcome back to Soul Kink Therapy. In this deeply moving episode, I sit down with Liv Wickedly, who bravely offers her victim mindset—specifically the pattern of waiting to be rescued—onto the altar for transformation. Liv shares her journey into conscious kink and ethical non-monogamy after leaving a heteronormative marriage, including the burnout experienced in a toxic dynamic where she first explored dominance.Using the powerful modality of Internal Family Systems (IFS), often called "parts work," within a therapeutic kink container, we embark on a journey inward. Liv meets several distinct parts of herself: Genevieve, the playful protector deflecting seriousness; Little Liv, the inner child burdened by the fear of getting in trouble; Grayson, the suave protector who keeps things fun but distant; and Lori, an embodiment of ancestral weight and exhaustion. Through gentle dialogue and somatic awareness, we witness a profound healing conversation and integration, reframing these parts not as problems, but as valuable protectors with wisdom to share. This session beautifully illustrates how IFS can clean out our inner "home," allowing us to step more fully into reclaiming confidence and conscious power.00:00 - 04:15 - Intro: Soul Kink Therapy with Liv Wickedly04:15 - 08:30 - Liv's Journey: Kink, ENM, and Burnout08:30 - 11:15 - Offering to the Altar: Releasing the Victim Mindset11:15 - 14:20 - Somatic Exploration: What Does Being Rescued Feel Like?14:20 - 18:05 - Meeting a Protector: Genevieve the Water Dragon18:05 - 24:10 - Meeting the Inner Child: Little Liv & Fear of Getting in Trouble24:10 - 31:00 - Meeting Another Protector: Grayson the Suave Vampire31:00 - 38:55 - Meeting an Ancestral Part: Lori (Young Mother)38:55 - 46:30 - Healing the Inner Child: A Conversation Between Lori & Little Liv46:30 - 51:10 - Integration: Reframing Parts as Protectors & Gifts51:10 - 53:30 - The Dom as a Portal & Accessing Protector Energy53:30 - 56:47 - How to Find Liv Wickedly & Final Thoughts

In this powerful episode of Soul Kink Therapy, our guest "Sam" (voice altered for confidentiality) shares his vulnerable journey with this exact question. For his entire life, Sam has been drawn to gender play, cross-dressing, and chastity, but has always presented as a cis man.We discuss the controversial term "autogynophilia," the fear of losing his long-term partner, and the feeling of anhedonia (lack of joy) he experiences in his male identity. As a therapeutic kink practitioner, I help Sam explore the complex spectrum between gender play and gender identity, reframing his male presentation as its own form of "drag."This session dives deep into using kink as somatic therapy and "creature work" to bypass the logical mind and discover one's authentic self.0:00 - 1:00 - Guest Intro (Sam): Autogynophilia & The Core Question1:01 - 2:09 - Welcome to Soul Kink Therapy: Gender Play vs. Being Trans2:10 - 4:04 - Sam's Story: Earliest Memories of Cross-Dressing (Mother's Bra)4:05 - 5:39 - Discovering Kink: Chastity, Bondage, & Language5:40 - 7:29 - The "Autogynophilia" Theory (And Why It's Repugnant)7:30 - 8:54 - Sam's "Halfway House": Is It Kink or Something More?8:55 - 11:44 - Honoring Sam's Sensitivity & Gender as a Spectrum11:45 - 13:09 - The Difference Between Cross-Dressing and Drag13:10 - 13:44 - "We Made All This Up": Gender as a Construct13:45 - 14:59 - Question: What is Your Relationship With Masculinity?15:00 - 18:44 - Feeling "Invisible" as a Man & Envying Female Attention18:45 - 20:30 - "It's Bullshit That Men Aren't Given Opportunities to Play"20:31 - 21:49 - Question: Do You Find Dressing as a Man Oppressive?21:50 - 24:09 - The "Magic Button" Test & The Fear of Losing His Partner24:10 - 27:14 - Devotion, Intimacy, and "Rigorous Honesty" in His Relationship27:15 - 28:44 - Identifying with Anhedonia (Lack of Joy)28:45 - 29:19 - Emily's Reframe: Anhedonia as a Sign of Oppression29:20 - 32:19 - What is a "Trauma Response"? (Sam's vs. Emily's Definition)32:20 - 33:14 - Kink as Somatic Therapy (Bypassing the Logical Mind)33:15 - 34:59 - Emily's Core Reframe: "You Are in Drag as a Man"35:00 - 36:09 - Sam's Reaction: "Intimidated by the Weight of Responsibility"36:10 - 38:39 - "Slow This Fucking Train Down" (Addressing the Fear)38:40 - 40:09 - Creature Work: Identifying "Apprehension" in the Body40:10 - 42:29 - Sam's Creature: "A Moth Pinned to a Board"42:30 - 44:29 - Sam's Doubt: "I Can't Square It With How I Feel"44:30 - 45:59 - Emily's Bias: "I Am an Extreme Player" (Using the Body)46:00 - 48:14 - The Action Plan: Structured Play ("Putting on a Timer")48:15 - 49:29 - "Does She Have a Name?" (The Feminine Identity)49:30 - 51:24 - How to Find Answers: Create a "Scene" & Ask Her51:25 - 52:19 - Wrapping Up the "Emotional Roller Coaster"52:20 - 53:59 - Emily's Final Blessing: "You Have All The Answers"54:00 - 56:47 - Outro & Podcast Call to Action (Leave a Review)

Welcome to the very first episode of Soul Kink Therapy. Today, I am honored to welcome Jenny Raven, a UK-based cross-dresser and erotica author, for a deeply vulnerable conversation about what it means to live a double life.In this session, Jenny shares their lifelong journey, from the earliest childhood memories of wanting to be a girl to the shame and secrecy that forced their feminine identity, Jenny, into hiding for years. We explore how writing erotica became an outlet and a way for Jenny to finally have a voice. This is a raw and honest look at the pain of the "invisible masculine," the trauma that can shape our identities, and the powerful, healing nature of kink when approached with intention.The conversation culminates in a beautiful and emotional moment as I witness Jenny Raven reveal their true self visually for the first time in a public-facing forum. We then move through a therapeutic embodiment practice to help Jenny fully step into her being. This is a profound story of courage, self-discovery, and the liberation that comes from finally speaking your truth.00:00 - 02:45 - Welcome to Soul Kink Therapy with Jenny Raven02:45 - 05:40 - Jenny's Earliest Memories of Wanting to Be a Girl05:40 - 09:15 - A Double Life: Hiding in the Closet & Writing Erotica09:15 - 12:00 - "Am I Normal?" - Exploring the Cross-Dresser Experience12:00 - 15:10 - The Pain of the "Invisible Masculine"15:10 - 18:05 - The Childhood Trauma That Locked Jenny Away18:05 - 20:30 - The Reveal: Meeting Jenny Raven20:30 - 24:10 - An Embodiment Practice to Welcome Jenny24:10 - 29:30 - Exploring Jenny's Desires & Triggers29:30 - 33:15 - The Power of Voice: An Instruction from Jenny33:15 - 37:25 - Unblocking the Voice & Healing the Inner Child37:25 - 41:10 - A Message of Hope: "Speak Your Truth Now"41:10 - 54:18 - How to Find Jenny Raven & Final ThoughtsUse code "SoulKinkTherapy" for 20% off my Meet Your Inner Dom coursewww.soulkink.com/meet-your-inner-dom-sales-page