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Speaking of Teens

Author: Ann Coleman

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Parenting a teenager is the most uniquely challenging thing you’ve ever done. The host of Speaking of Teens, Ann Coleman, understands all too well. After drowning in those challenges, herself, she spent several years transitioning from practicing attorney to expert in the science of adolescence and parenting. Twice weekly she delivers the most up to date, science-based information, news and advice to help you better understand, relate to, and parent your teen…without the conflict. From navigating relationships and social media to academic pressures and mental health issues, she, along with an occasional expert guest, will help you peacefully parent your teenager with confidence.  

175 Episodes
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As the parent of a teen or tween we often feel frustrated (or even worried) about our kid's behavior. If they would just do what they're supposed to do - if they'd just listen - we wouldn't have any issues. It's hard to imagine any of their behavior is actually due to the way we engage with them...the way we respond to their behavior. In fact, so many of the arguments and struggles we have with our teenagers could be remedied by modifying our own behavior. Join me to learn so...
Are you mortified by your teen or tween's behavior these days? Are you worried that this behavior may be directed at other adults or worried that it might "stick"? Come on in and let me explain what's going on and what you do about it.Show Notes Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here"I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podcast! ...I'm so happy I discovered it!" Speaking of Teens Listener^If you feel the same way, please consider rating and reviewing my show! Thi...
ADHD is frustrating for parents, teachers, and teens and tweens themselves. But the issues with school and homework often pale in comparison to the social and emotional fallout related to this disorder. Not understanding all of the symptoms related to ADHD (and especially those that overlap with common mental health disorders) can lead to confusion and lots of conflict and disconnection with your teenager and cause issues with a proper diagnosis.In this episode I'll address some of these less...
You do not want to tangle with a teen or tween over their devices (if you haven't noticed that yet). You also don't want to reach for the phone or game console every time your teen does something wrong or makes a mistake. One issue a lot of us parents misunderstand is DISCIPLINE.It's so much easier when they're little. But by the time you have a teen or tween, you'd better understand how to teach them skills for adulthood, without punishing them. If you don't, there's going to be a lot ...
There’s no struggle during adolescence quite like friendships and navigating social groups. It’s all encompassing. But this is simply the way it has to be - their brain is wired to seek acceptance. Because of this, to be shut out of the group feels like the end of the world.In this episode I explain what your teen or tween goes through in their fight for survival among friend groups, how girls and boys differ in the aggressive behaviors they display in their quest for “popularity”, and how to...
When our teens are not doing well (maybe they've made some poor choices or are experiencing mental health issues), we usually don't run out and seek support from friends with kids the same age.Although most of us struggle with parenting at some point, we somehow feel we're more at fault when our teens or tweens mess up. Why do we feel such shame? Is there a different way of looking at this?The Guardian article that prompted this episodeShow Notes and TranscriptFind our FREE Parenting Guides H...
If your teen has ADHD, a learning difference or a mental health disorder and they are planning on going to college, you need to listen up! Today I talk to Dan Jordan of Accessing College, who gives some excellent advice about supporting your teens as they enter college and need to obtain accommodations. Dan is a licensed therapist and former college accessibility professional (I didn’t even know there was such a thing!) He worked in the college/university setting for over 10 years m...
Screentime is the subject of so much parental anxiety and so many arguments for families around the globe. And in this episode we tackle it head-on with Emily Cherkin, MEd (aka: The Screentime Consultant) and author of the fabulous book (and Amazon best seller), "The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family".Emily is a former middle school English teacher and mom of two who consults with parents, offers school presentations and professional development ...
If you need help now, call the National Dating Abuse Helpline at 1-866-331-9474 or go to loveisrespect.org to receive immediate confidential assistance.If you've not been in this situation yet, you've been lucky so far. It's a terrible position for the parent of a teenager to find themselves. It's hard to imagine but your teen may just have different tastes in romantic partners than you'd expected (and you may not like this person one bit.) Maybe you can't even put your finger on it...there's...
Who would your teen talk to if they were having issues with their mental health? Their friends? A trusted adult? You? If they're hesitant to reach out for help, why? Does stigma play a role?The Jed Foundation (JED) recently published a report called Exploring Barriers to Mental Health Support Among U.S. Teens (see a summary here if you want a shorter read). The report outlines what young people say stands in the way of reaching out for help when they are struggling.Today, I'm talking to...
Today I'm talking to Beth Syverson, an adoptive mom, host of the podcast Unraveling Adoption and mother to a son who struggles with his mental health and substances.Beth discovered that her son's issues stem from trauma (which is quite common). His trauma however, is one many people don't think about; adoption relinquishment.What Beth and I discuss is relevant to you whether your child is adopted or not. But if you're like me, and adopted your child, it will be eye-opening indeed.You can find...
As it turns out, teens and tweens across the globe feel there’s a lot that parents just don’t understand. Today I’m bringing you the most common and often repeated of these issues that I’ve gathered from therapists, teachers, and various adults who've worked with teens for decades. Plus I’ve found much written by teens themselves including some very colorful comments from Quora and Reddit.Show Notes for other resources and sourcesTranscriptFind our FREE Parenting Guides Here"I just wante...
Today, I'm talking to you about your teens and alcohol. I'll answer LOTS of questions for you, including: Does allowing your teen or tween to have a sip of wine or beer with you, prevent them from being problem drinkers?Does providing a place for your teens to drink with friends, keep them safer than they would be out partying elsewhere?Should you expect that your teens are going to drink alcohol and try to teach them "responsible drinking"?Should you drink in front of your teens or keep...
Did you know that 98% of teens lie about at least one issue or another? And guess what? The general consensus among researchers and mental health professionals is that this is not only normal, but it would be a little worrisome if they didn’t lie a bit. The good news is, this is not a character flaw or a sign that they’re going to grow up to be a liar. By the time people reach adulthood, about three-quarters are consistently honest. The big spike in the chart during adolescence is ...
Today is the final day - Day 8 - of my series explaining the foundational principles you need to understand about parenting teens (so you can spend less time arguing and more time enjoying them!)I’ve talked about the importance of maintaining the connection with your teen throughout this this series. And today, I’ll explain why that connection is critical to keeping your teen safe and mentally healthy. Plus, I’ll tell you how to accomplish this “connection” (especially if your teen won’t give...
There are some very clear mistakes that we make when it comes to disciplining our teenagers – not the least of which is understanding the general goal of discipline.If you’ve “consequnced” yourself into a corner with your teenager, tune in and listen to this episode to figure out how to get back to where you need to be.Managing behavior issues with teens is definitely an exercise is self-restraint and mindfulness. But you can do it!Listen in and I’ll tell you how. Episodes in this series 130,...
What do you do when your teen or tween is acting like a toddler - when they're spewing their unpleasant emotions all over the place? Do you ignore them? Tell them to calm down? Get upset yourself?Well, today I want to talk to you about how you can use this opportunity to help your teenager develop their emotional intelligence - specifically, their emotional awareness and emotional regulation. This technique is called emotion coaching and it not only helps your teen calm down in that moment, b...
Understanding your own thoughts and emotions and how they impact your behavior, will help you manage your emotions so you can be the parent you want to be. If you don’t know why you get so upset about certain things, and don’t know how to articulate your feelings, your emotions will consume you. And I’m guessing you’ve realized what happens when you allow your emotions to consume you. In this episode I’ll talk about how to get a grip on your emotions instead of allowing them to keep...
Have you realized yet that you can't parent a teenager the way you parented them as a child? It's a hard truth. After your kid hits puberty, if you keep trying to manage them and parent them the way you did when they were a child, things will not go well.Parenting a teen or tween the way you parented them as a child, will guarantee years of power struggles and behavior problems. Instead, you must learn to pivot and give your teen or tween more control, more respect and more power to make deci...
Why? Why? Why? Why do teens do the things they do? As the Parent of a teenager, you're probably used to asking yourself this question. If your teen or tween has ever done anything they've always promised they'd never do, you're in good company.The way the adolescent brain works...well, let's just say, it can be baffling for parents. So, learning the "Why" behind your teen's thoughts, emotions and behavior is extremely import. It allows you to have more empathy, regulate your own emotions abou...
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