Today is the third episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. Why do teens do such “stupid” things? Why do they take such risks? In this episode I explain the science behind why your teenager does dangerous, stupid, or reckless things—from driving too fast to sneaking out to experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Learn how your teen's reward system and "social system" of their brain are turbocharged during adolescence, making them willing to take risks with friends that they...
Today is the second episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. If you're struggling with your teen's anger, emotional outbursts, and irrational behavior, this episode will help you understand and manage better. I'll explain the neuroscience behind your teenager's emotionally driven misbehavior...including how your teen's overactive amygdala (the brain's threat detector) and underdeveloped prefrontal cortex create the perfect storm for emotional dysregulation, impulsive reac...
Today is the first episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. I'm revisiting this series that I first published back in episodes 130 through 137. I'll be walking you through the basics that we cover in my course, The Field Guide for Teens, that you get inside Parent Camp. This is the framework I formulated over thousands of hours of research , which has helped change the relationship between so many parents and their teens. If you need help getting back to the basics and re...
I made some critical mistakes with our teenage son when we were struggling with his behavior issues. Some of us are so deeply entrenched in certain parenting strategies that we don't even recognize they're not effective (and may actually be making things worse). Life is so busy that we're usually in "reaction" mode and have little time to think in advance or look for a better way to do things. In today's episode, I'll help you understand at least some of the mistakes that you should avoid at ...
Are you struggling with difficult teen behavior, constant conflict, and feeling like nothing you do actually works? In today's episode I explain that the secret to better teen behavior isn't administering the right consequences or enforcing stricter rules—it's developing your own emotional regulation skills. Your emotions and your emotional reactions directly impact your teenager's behavior and mental health. Listen to the episode to learn the science-backed techniques that will help yo...
Are smartphones and social media really destroying teen mental health, or are we panicking as we have many times in the past? From novels, radio, and comic books, to TV violence, and violent video games...they've all been blamed for corrupting teenage minds and harming their mental health. Listen to today's episode to understand why the current research on teen mental health, smart phones, and social media is far from definitive and discover a more balanced approach to helping your teen...
A calm, structured, predictable home life is as important for teens and tweens as it is for children. Scientific research shows that the opposite will have a negative effect on adolescent's mental health and overall wellbeing and could lead to behavioral issues. In today's episode I talk about 5 ways you can interject more calm into your home with teens to help alleviate their stress (and yours) and improve their chances of avoiding negative outcomes. These tips will not only help reign in th...
Struggling to get your teen or tween to school? You're not alone. If your teen is refusing to get out of bed for school, constantly leaving early, or complaining of physical symptoms like headaches and stomach aches when it's time for school, this isn't laziness or defiance—it's likely school refusal, a real emotional and physical response that affects up to 25% of teens aged 13 to 18. Listen in as I explain the difference between school refusal and truancy, reveal the underlying ...
Thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to actions. If we don't take time to examine our thinking, we can become stuck in some very unproductive cycles in parenting our teenagers (and in other relationships). Just because we think something doesn't make it true or correct. And if our thoughts are untrue, what does that mean for our emotions and behavior? Today I talk about how cognitive biases, distortions, assumptions and shortcuts in our thinking can keep us in some very negative cycles of em...
Neurotypical teens, teens without any mental health disorders at all, experience emotional dysregulation from time to time (some more than others). This is simply a byproduct of their changing brain and an oversensitive threat detector (the brain's amygdala). But teens with ADHD, certain mood disorders, and personality disorders are much more likely to experience intense mood swings and even more pronounced emotional dysregulation. And that's not the only symptom overlap between these disorde...
I talked about parenting out of fear in the very first episode of this podcast. Because my own fear is what led me down such a long hard path with my son, I wanted to make sure you were aware of the issues it causes. Now that I've been able to work for a couple of years on refining this message, I'm back to share again why we must not let our anxious thoughts derail our parenting. This issue comes up over and over in the Speaking of Teens Facebook group and in Parent Camp. Fear for our Teenag...
When someone hurts your child, physically or emotionally, no matter if they're 10 or 25, you want it to stop immediately. And bullying is one of those things you may not even be aware of. You won't see it and you won't likely even know about it unless your teen or tween tells you. In this episode, I'll tell you what to watch out for, how to talk to your teen about their bullying problem and give you step by step instructions for dealing with the issue. Show Notes and Transcript ...
Your teen's autonomy, the level to which they are allowed to make their own decisions, their ability to handle mistakes and the natural consequences from those mistakes - all of this has a huge impact on their later independence, and ability to cope as an emerging adult. Today I’m going to talk to you about how, despite your best intentions to protect your child from all the bad stuff, keep them out of trouble, make sure they’re successful, that they make good choices, that they don’t fall fl...
Most of us sail on through life without ever stopping to examine our own thoughts, emotions and behavior...without doing some deep introspection to discover why we think and feel the way we do about things. But if you want to change, you want to bring more calm into your life, you have to truly know yourself. You need to know the why behind your behavior (which lies in your thoughts and emotions!) We're talking about emotional awareness and emotional regulation today - how you can acquire a b...
Did you know that 98% of teens lie about at least one issue or another? And guess what? The general consensus among researchers and mental health professionals is that this is not only normal, but it would be a little worrisome if they didn’t lie a bit. The good news is, this is not a character flaw or a sign that they’re going to grow up to be a liar. By the time people reach adulthood, about three-quarters are consistently honest. The big spike in the chart during adolescence is normal, but...
If you're like every other parent of a teen or tween, you've dealt with your share of attitude, disrespect, snarky comments, and maybe even a hefty does of mean digs. Why do teens and tweens act this way and how can you manage it without causing even more conflict between you? Join me today to discover just how to approach your teen's smarty pants comments and help them learn to turn it down a few notches. Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our FREE Parenting Gu...
Teen and tween behavior can be maddening, frustrating, and confusing for parents. Those feelings can consume you and cause you to miscommunicate, scold, lecture, and punish. Understanding why your teenager behaves the way they do, will not only help you manage your feelings about it but will help you respond to them more appropriately. Join me today as I explain some of the most common teenage behaviors that parents often misunderstand. Show Notes for other resources and sou...
ADHD in teens and tweens is much more complicated than you may understand. Yes, it can have a major impact on your teenager’s ability to focus and do their schoolwork, but the social and emotional fallout can be even more problematic. Today I’ll talk about how ADHD is not only a skills-based issue, but one that causes additional stress in your teenager’s daily life, affects their ability to regulate both their negative and positive emotions, causes them to become bored more easily that other ...
Getting your teen to do what they're supposed to do (or not do what they're not supposed to do) is a sticking point for so many parents. You probably feel like a broken record most days and then still can't get the cooperation you want (and many times end up in arguments and power struggles). Well, in this episode I review a) the basics that you need to understand even before you try to get cooperation, b) what you shouldn't do and, c) different methods you can try for cutting back on the con...
Today's episode is the 3rd and final installment of my 3-part Teen Anxiety Series. In episode 215, I talked about the signs and symptoms of Teen Anxiety. In episode 216, I talked about the diagnosis and treatment for Teen Anxiety. And today, I'm discussing a variety of strategies and tools parents can use to help their anxious teens and tweens (alongside therapy). Helping your teen manage their anxiety goes far beyond teaching them breathing exercises. Listen in and learn how you can ch...