Speaking of Teens

Parenting a teenager can be difficult--full stop. But parenting a teen or tween with ADHD often presents next-level issues that we often don't associate with ADHD. These issues have more to do with an inability to manage their emotions than focus on schoolwork. Emotional dysregulation is an often overlooked symptom of ADHD that can wreak havoc in adolescents' (and parents') lives. Today I'll explain the negative social and emotional consequences of emotional dysregulation, the rol...

03-11

34:00

Human behavior is complicated and depends on many factors including our own thoughts and emotions (which are impacted by the behavior of those around us). Adolescent behavior is further complicated by neurobiological changes. Their thoughts and emotions are not at all like ours and they don’t have the self-control that we have. So, while we’re not necessarily at fault when our teen misbehaves, we do play a critical role in their behavior by virtue of our own behavior. Accepting this tru...

03-04

19:16

If you just knew what to do to avoid all those arguments, power struggles and temper tantrums with your teen, right?! Well, that's what I'm hear to tell you about today. As parents of teens and tweens there are a handful of really big mistakes most of us make that cause us so much grief and we don't even realize it. Listen in and learn how to avoid so much of the conflict, the temper tantrums, the disconnection and chaos. Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our F...

02-25

37:07

In today's 201st episode of Speaking of Teens, I'm sharing the framework I teach inside Parent Camp, how I developed that framework, and why Parent Camp may just be the answer you've been looking for. If you've been listening to the podcast but you're still trying to figure out how to implement some of the strategies I discuss, you just might need the extra help you'll get in Parent Camp. Registration for Spring 2025 Parent Camp is now open until Tuesday, February 25th at 7 pm CST. &nbs...

02-18

16:32

There's no world in which, after punishing, lecturing, or yelling at your teen for their misdeeds, they will say: "Thank you for that. I now understand the error of my ways and I will henceforth endeavor to adhere to your behavioral standards." Not gonna' happen. In this 200th episode of Speaking of Teens, let me help you understand why authoritarian, obedience-first, behavior-focused parenting doesn't work with teens (or with any kid, for that matter). "Putting the fear of God" in your te...

02-14

20:20

If you're at the end of your rope with your teen, feeling lost, anxious, wondering where you've gone wrong--this episode's for you. Maybe your teen's using substances, not listening, angry all the time, getting in trouble, or really struggling with their mental health. It's easy to become overwhelmed, anxious, angry, or to feel completely lost. I know exactly how you feel because I've been there. And in today’s episode I’ll explain why the people and places we often depend on for help in thes...

02-11

24:56

"Why doesn't my teenager share anything with me? They just won't talk to me." It's a common refrain among many parents of teens and tweens. Why is it that it often seems like your teen would rather do almost anything than give you any information about themselves or come to you as their confidant? There are two major reasons: adolescent development and your behavior. Listen today as I explain why this issue is both developmentally appropriate and influenced by their lack of trust ...

02-07

17:44

One of the toughest issues about parenting a teen may just be trying to agree on how to parent said teen, with your spouse. If you're having a hard time agreeing on teen parenting issues with your spouse, this episode's for you. Today, I’ll explain how to have a few key conversations with your spouse that will help you get on the same page and present a united front to your teen and decrease conflict in your home. Show Notes for other resources and sources Transcript Find our FREE Parenting ...

02-04

19:23

For many generations, parents in Western world have focused on the very short-sighted goal of stopping unacceptable behavior in their kids and teenagers. This has generally been accomplished through harsh parenting tactics such as punishment. Additionally, when parents become afraid or nervous about the behavior their teen or tween is exhibiting, they tend to employ similar harsh parenting tactics. Listen today as I explain how super-strict, harsh, controlling parenting backfires with y...

01-31

23:15

Today I'm re-publishing an episode from about 6 months ago that has been extremely popular (and apparently very helpful). As the parent of a teen or tween we often feel frustrated (or even worried) about our kid's behavior. If they would just do what they're supposed to do - if they'd just listen - we wouldn't have any issues. It's hard to imagine any of their behavior is actually due to the way we engage with them...the way we respond to their behavior. In fact, so many of the arguments and...

01-28

25:28

Today I'm re-publishing an episode from about 6 months ago that has been extremely popular (and apparently very helpful). As the parent of a teen or tween we often feel frustrated (or even worried) about our kid's behavior. If they would just do what they're supposed to do - if they'd just listen - we wouldn't have any issues. It's hard to imagine any of their behavior is actually due to the way we engage with them...the way we respond to their behavior. In fact, so many of the arguments and...

01-24

23:19

Today I'm re-publishing an episode from about 6 months ago that has been extremely popular (and apparently very helpful). As parents of a teen or tween we're often frustrated, concerned, or even downright anxious about their behavior. We just want them to listen to us and do what they're supposed to do. Is that really too much to ask? Well, it turns out, it just might be. A lot our teens' unpleasant behaviors are unfortunately a side effect of the way we respond to their behavior to be...

01-21

23:51

Teasing is a big part of many parents' communication toolbox. But when it comes to teasing teens and tweens, it's easy to accidentally overstep. Teenagers are notorious for misinterpreting parents. Their brains often don't hear what we think we say. You may mean to tease them in a playful manner but they may hear it as criticism. Listen today as I explain the difference between playful teasing and bullying and which topics you should delete from your teasing roster (because the...

01-14

18:15

Are you stressed out about your teen’s or tween’s online life? Have recent discussions of banning social media until age 16 making you feel like a horrible parent? Are you constantly fighting over screentime with them? Parenting is 1,000 times more stressful today than it was for our parents thanks to smart phones and social media. And it certainly doesn’t help when there seems to be a new study or new book published weekly talking about how phones and social media are responsible for t...

You could be misinterpreting your tween or teen's unpleasant attitude, their emotional meltdowns, their angry tirades, or their rude, entitled, and disrespectful behavior (or you may be at least interpreting it from an uninformed point of view). And the way you think about and interpret your teen or tween's behavior impacts how you feel about it and how you parent them. So, if you don't truly understand why they act the way they do, you're probably not handling the situation for the best p...