Stay

In this episode of Stay, I sit down with philosopher Bayo Akomolafé to rethink how we understand conflict in a deeply polarized world.Rather than seeing conflict as something to fix or avoid, Bayo invites us to see it as the very condition through which life unfolds. He challenges the binaries of right vs. wrong, suggesting that our obsession with resolution and righteousness may actually keep us trapped in repeating cycles.The conversation explores the difference between morality and ethics. Instead of rushing to solutions, Bayo encourages us to slow down, notice the deeper systems shaping events, and engage with the “cracks” where transformation becomes possible.Ultimately, this episode is an invitation to move beyond being right and toward being responsive in a messy, interconnected world.

In this episode I sit with Oren Slozberg, executive director of Commonweal and we discuss conflict, polarization, and cultural approaches to complex societal challenges. Oren reflected on how cultural backgrounds shape perspectives on conflict, drawing on his experiences in Israel and the United States. He unpacks the differences between conflict and polarization and discusses the difficulty of responding to ongoing poly- crises and the importance of moving toward wholeness rather than focusing solely on solutions. He surfaces the powerful role art and creativity in healing and transforming societal challenges. 

In this wide-ranging conversation, Dean Spade, legal scholar, community organizer, author of Mutual Aid and Love in a F*cked Up World, and I unpack how conflict operates in both our personal relationships and political movements. We talk about how systems of oppression shape our responses to harm, accountability, and belonging and why rethinking conflict is essential for meaningful social change. Drawing on Dean’s work in transformative justice and community-based responses to harm, we explore the tension between dignity and belonging, the importance of embracing diverse perspectives, and the ongoing debate between nonviolence and direct action. Ultimately, the episode reframes conflict not as failure, but as a natural and necessary force in building more just and resilient communities.Show Notes:Dean Spade: https://www.deanspade.net/

Welcome back to Season 2! I share where we are headed this season.

Join me in conversation with Dr. Ben Danielson, pediatrician and founder of ASHAY, a non-profit organization focused on reducing youth incarceration. Dr. Ben talks about how the geographies of his life shaped his understanding of conflict, the elements for doing conflict well, the critical role leaders play in shaping how a conflict is metabolized, including the ways we repair and forgive. He also discusses how being in conflict surfaces the very conditions of our belonging and how we need more words for conflict in the English language.

I sit with my cousin, Dilip Ramachandran, former drummer for Parikrama to explore how early experiences of being othered shaped his relationship to conflict and how not knowing how to navigate that tension led him to leaving the band. He reflects on the weight of taking himself too seriously, the toll of unresolved stress, and the power of learning to really listen. Through time and reflection, he shares how loosening his grip on ego opened the door to greater clarity, connection, and healing.

**Trigger warning-intimate partner violence**I speak with DEI leader Aparna Rae, who opens up about a pivotal moment in her professional journey. She shares the story of a colleague who abruptly ended their work partnership, an experience that mirrored her own long-standing pattern of leaving when conflict arises. Rather than repeating that cycle, she chose to pause and reflect—exploring what it means to stay present in the discomfort of disagreement. Through this conversation, she reveals the lessons she’s learned about navigating conflict, the importance of intentionality in collaboration, and how choosing to stay can deepen trust and transform relationships. Find out more about Aparna at www.aparnarae.com

Not all conflict is external. Sometimes we have to navigate the parts of us that are in disagreement. Join me as I sit with Meghna Jaradi, a writer, storyteller and creative, as we explore the question of what's next for her and how writing as a practice allows her to move through the complexity. Together, we talk about the power of the creative process, the pull of place, and what emerges when we let uncertainty speak!

Learn about the origin story of Stay with mental health therapist Jaya Ramesh. Music by: @resetcubestudioArt by: Nivi Brett

In this episode, I sit down with Dr Leticia Nieto . We have a tender conversation about how we inherit conflict, carry silence, and slowly remake ourselves through relationship. We talk about listening as a sacred act, disagreement as a doorway, and the quiet ways culture, family, and migration shape our capacity for connection. She helps me to understand what it means to face conflict with honesty and heart shares how relationships can become spaces for healing rather than harm. This episode, the season finale, is a gentle meditation on becoming through rupture, through grace, and through the soft architecture of conflict.

What if conflict could be an act of love? Join me as I chat with James Boutin, facilitator, educator and coach, as we explore a radical reframe of conflict, thinking of it not as something to avoid, or to win but as an energetic space that can either deplete or enable connection. Put another way, how we show matters as much as what we say. He unpacks the difference between generative and extractive conflict and together we examine how the energy we bring to disagreement shapes the outcome. James also offers some strategies to build our capacity for more conflict resilience. You can find out more about him at www.jamesboutin.com

In this episode I talk with visionary systems thinker Lindsey T.H. Jackson. She reflects on the messages she received as a Black woman about conflict, including suppressing anger. She shares the powerful experience of having her ancestor visit in her dreams and how that helped her to embrace the anger she was suppressing, which has lead to accessing greater joy as well increased discernment about what types of outer conflicts to engage in. By intentionally focusing on herself, unpacking and unlearning limiting narratives, she describes how she is attending to intergenerational healing, both for her ancestors and her children.

I sit with award winning artist Jon Rubin to talk about what it means to be in conflict with an institution-particularly when that conflict is rooted in political conscience and solidarity. We talk about the sanctions he faced for publicly supporting Palestine, and how he navigated that by carving a third way- one rooted in the possibilities that art offers as a space for critical dialogue, imagination and refusal. We reflect on how early experiences shaped his approach and Jon gets us to reflect on how might art help us hold relational complexity.