Stop Punishing Yourself

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SPY 38: Self Love as The Cure All

2023-08-0916:59

Self love is confronting. It holds up a mirror to the prison we tend to put ourselves in. Self love is not to be confused with arrogance or vanity. It is neither of those things. It's safety, respect, and space for our full humanity. It's accountable and aware. It's disciplined but gentle and slow. It's a paradox--an alien in our social norms of self abdication. Self love is the potent medicine we are seeking in all the wrong places. It can't be found outside of you. Listen to learn more. Go ...

SPY 37: How to Meditate Your Ass Off

2023-08-0232:58

You guys. It feels like summer started yesterday for me. My husband and I had a picnic by the lake. I got to read in the sun, visit a brewery rooftop, play in the sprinkler with my pup. We had a fire in the backyard in the evening. I was fascinated by all the bugs and blossoms and sunburns. It feels like my very first summer after an 800 year winter. (I know it’s not the first sunny day, but it’s the first sunny day I haven’t had to work or been ravaged by an existential crises)And yes. That ...

SPY 36: Being an Emotional Adult

2023-07-2616:06

Emotional Childhood is just a fancy term for chronic blame. Emotional Adulthood is a just a fancy term for habituated responsibility. In emotional childhood we blame all of our problems, emotions, life circumstances, and limits on the external world (including other humans). In emotional adulthood we take full responsibility for everything in our life—yes—even the things that our toddler brain would consider “not fair.” We are willing to venture into the discomfort. To face all of our dirty l...

SPY 35: Respect Doesn't Require Fear

2023-07-1934:40

Ever notice how respect is oftentimes confused with fear? We weren’t really taught to respect adults growing up… We were taught to fear them.To obey blindly, to conform swiftly, to fall in line or be punished! Subtly but surely over time, kids learn that giving and receiving respect looks and feels a lot like being afraid. This creates adults who are partly afraid of their intimate connections with others (vulnerability, openness, safety), but mostly afraid of their connection to themself. Wh...

SPY 34: Deserving vs. Committing

2023-07-1213:33

Here’s a wild concept I want you to consider. The universe, God, whatever life force you believe to be in charge of things.. is not out here dividing and distributing some portions to the deserving folk, while withholding other portions from the undeserving folk. Portions could mean anything. Portions of money, portions of joy, portions of success, appreciation, love—you name it.That’s not how this loving, natural, magical world works, ya’ll.That may be how you were unconsciously TAUGHT to th...

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