Survivor Talks

TW: graphic details of rape, talks of substance use, psychological trauma, rape culture, victim blaming, ostracism On this week's episode of Survivor Talks, I am joined by guest Heather to speak about her experiences with sexual violence, psychological trauma and the ostracism she experienced in her life.

On this week's episode of Survivor Talks, I am joined by guest Destyn Land who is the podcast host of Rethinking Manhood. We speak toxic masculinity, patriarchy, social stigmas and stereotypes, feminism and so much more!

Welcome back to Season 03 of Survivor Talks!!!!! I am so stoked to be launching this new season. It is probably one of my favourite seasons yet with important dialogues and conversations around social justice issues. On this week's episode, I am joined by guest Isabella & Maggie to discuss their podcast, Rose Tinted Ceilings, and the education and advocacy work they engage in.

TW: mentions of abuse, suicide, substance useIn this week's episode, I am joined by guest Ashneil to speak about his experiences of taking accountability for his actions, while also holding other men in his life accountable too. Ashneil unpacks what we witnessed growing up in an Indo-Fijian household, absorbing the same behaviours and mindset and facing the consequences for it. However, Ashneil decided to better himself by attending therapy, holding himself accountable and the people around him too.

SEASON 02, EPISODE 09: TW: Discussion of oppressive systems, personal experiences, trauma, divorce and violence against peoples On this week's episode, I am joined by guest Alex Sangha to speak on his personal experiences with violence, the stigma and stereotypes male survivors often experience and statistics surrounding violence against peoples.

I am joined by guest Manjot Mann to speak about trauma-informed care approaches, survivor-centred care and how trauma doesn't only impact the mind, but the body too.

TW: this episode contains mentions of suicide, PTSD, anxiety, and depression in this episode. Please contact your local mental health professional if you wish to seek further support. I am joined by guest Maggie, to speak about her journey on making a third-party report. We speak about fear and anxiety that still lingers even after reporting and our overall experiences with this journey.

I am joined by guest Arif Ali to discuss, dissect and simply just talk the shit on toxic masculinity, the patriarchy, and cultural & societal norms for young boys and men.

On this week's episode, I am joined by guest Hassan Merali to speak on the concept and importance behind consent education. Whether you agree with us or not, consent is sexy. We need consent in both sexual and non-sexual ways to fully respect one's boundaries, choices, and safe space they've created for themselves. Sexual violence doesn't only impact adults and seniors, but children and youth as well, and it's important that B.C. and other Canadian school systems start to make changes in the public and private school system to ensure consent is taught at an age-appropriate level for all ages. Furthermore, how can schools make reporting on-campus (or on-school grounds) easier and safer, regardless of if you go to a well-known school or not. Tune in as we question why people choose to not ask for consent, how power dynamics and privilege play a role in consent and sex, and how coercion, manipulation, being forced or threatened to say "yes" isn't the W people may think it is.

TW: this episode contains mentions of sexual violence [specifically sexual assault and rape], patriarchy, body image, and self image.In this week's episode, I am joined by guest Aaron to speak on male sexual energy turned violence. We discuss how how men are subjected to turn their sexuality into something violent, the impacts of patriarchy and toxic masculinity have on men, how men can feel more sexy and confident with their body and more.

WELCOME BACK! To kick off season 02 of Survivor Talks, I am joined by guest Mustafa to speak on bystander intervention. We discuss how bystanders can intervene when they see a potential assault happening, what they can do to support survivors & victims in online and in-person spaces, and what safe spaces mean in the first place.

This journey is all very much numbing. I know that. You know that. We all know that. There's guilt involved in healing, especially when we reach a point to believe our bodies and mind stop belonging to us for not protecting us, and in turn, we want to give ourselves away from normalizing the impact. We're giving away our power, our resiliency, our strength, our courage, our vulnerability, all of it. We don't want to do that. Our bodies are our temple. They are our home, and our home needs and deserves to be tendered with so much love and so much care, but with patience, time and space. Time itself and being patience with our journey to care of our soul can be an energy sucker when we refuse to put in the work to heal ourselves, to love ourselves, and to show up for ourselves.We've had to hold our own hands, wipe our own tears, and support ourselves the best way we could all while digging ourselves out of this trauma hole, and do our best to fight and survive.We've all got stories nobody knows about. We've got our own ways to heal, our own ways to manage our emotions and our own ways to survive.We've all got bodies and minds that were violated, with permanent scars left behind for us too soothe, and those scars eventually grow out new layers as a symbol for surviving.Reconstruct your pain and rebuild it into love. Our experiences is not our shame to carry.Water your roots, give yourself plenty of light and warmth, watch yourself grow from a seed to an evolved and powerful human who deserves and is capable of an infinite amount of love.Don't forget to give thanks to your body for all the trials and tribulations.To your heart for still beating and being present.Don't forget to give thanks to your resiliencyAnd for the healing journey to arrive peacefully, in soft waves.

When it comes to sexual violence awareness, education, and prevention on post-secondary campuses, there can be a lot of scrutiny and turmoil as to how student-led services and the university boards deal with disclosures, reports or even provide trainings to ensure a safer campus community. In this week's episode, I am joined by guest Radhika, who is one of the Co-Chair's from UBC's student-led club CUS Clarify, where her and her team aim to provide workshops, events, and other awareness that educate the campus community on sexual violence prevention. Radhika speaks on the backlash UBC faced over the summer, the goals, mission and values for Clarify, their successful & upcoming events, and more.

There are no "blurred lines" (yes, Robin Thicke, we're calling you out) when it comes to consent. A simple "yes" should be enough for you to keep any activities going, and a simple "no" should make you stop. But, we all know consent is more than a "yes" or "no" when coercion, pressure, threats, and being forced to do engage in activities are invited to the conversation and makes you overstep your boundaries and safety. In this episode, I am joined by guest Dikshita J. to speak about understanding what consent is and isn't, setting boundaries with your partner, friends or family, and the dangers that may come with saying "no."

TW: Rape, Predator-Friendly Environments, Sexual Abuse in Gurdwara's, Patriarchy, Victim-Blaming, Slut-Shaming, Toxic Masculinity, Women's Bodily AutonomyAs we know, there is so much love that comes from the brown community and it truly makes that love feels so much more wholesome. But, with love comes a darkness that we cannot avoid when it comes to supporting survivors + victims of sexual violence, and where these predator-friendly behaviour stems from. I am joined by guest Jagreet, who will be speaking to us about women's bodily autonomy, consent, predator-friendly environments, the patriarchy, sexual abuse and so much more.

TW: sexism, misogyny, mentions of r*pe and sexual assault I'm sure we have all heard of the term "locker room talk," but what exactly does it mean? How does this relate to sexual violence and our job to dismantle rape culture? Does the patriarchy play a role in "locker room talk", in which shapes how masculinity and femininity are viewed?"I am joined by guest Kennice W. to discuss masculinity, femininity, misogyny, sexism & so much more in this week's episode.

TW: rape culture, frat culture at universities, police reporting and mentions of rape"Why don't you just report it to the police?" I'm sure all of us, at some point, have heard these words come out of someone's mouth after we've disclosed to them about our experiences with sexual assault. Trust me when I say that one sentence alone triggers a lot of anxiety, panic, and stress for that possibly being the only option for us to be safe so the perpetrator can be put behind bars, and not harm another soul ever again. However, there are a lot of reasons behind why survivors choose to not go to the police, and this has a lot to do with the lack of training, education, the rape culture present in our so-called justice system (let's be real though, the system was built this way to protect criminals) and so much more. In this episode, I am joined by guest Maggie to discuss the popular hashtag #WhyIDidntReport, which has been commonly used by many people affected by sexual violence to share their reasons to why they chose not to go to the authorities, the much needed education and survivor-centred, intersectional and trauma-informed training needed for officers to deal with traumatic cases, if another department should deal with sexual assault cases and so much more.

TW: Abusive relationships, recounting survivors' experiences. and mentions of r*pe, PTSD & child sexual abuseDating is supposed to be as simple as meeting someone on a dating app, through mutual friends, or even in-person, forming an attachment and then falling in love. However, that may not always be the case for some of us. Survivors of sexual assault are often left traumatized and deal with a lot of triggers in the aftermath of their experience(s). One of the challenges some of us face is getting back into our love life and trusting someone as our partner. I am joined by guest Taylor D., founder of Sentiments of a Survivor to chat about our dating life, creating independency outside of our relationships, overcoming our fears and so much more.

TW: TraumaSurvivors of sexual violence often have to deal with the aftermath of the assault, and some of us don't always forget what happens to the body. "Traumaversaries" are ways that our bodies keep count of trauma, triggers and the sometimes, the never-ending cycles of our worst experiences. "Traumaversaries" doesn't need to be connected to sexual violence. You can have a traumaversary if you've been in a car accident or lost a loved on. But in this scenario, we'll be talking about traumaversaries connected to sexual violence, the flight/fight/freeze mode and how the body always remembers even if our brains don't. I am joined by guest Jasmine R. to discuss the psychological affects, body responses, trauma and triggers in this episode.

Healing is a slow and long process, and always isn't love and light. When wounds re-open and you're once again faced with trauma that's been tucked away for days, months or even years, know that it's okay to feel again. It's okay to re-start once more on the healing journey, revisit your trauma and put twice as much effort to mend them. Listen to your feelings. Feel every emotion that flows throughout your body. Feelings are meant to be felt after all. Healing takes time. Some of the closure arrives for us earlier in life while other times it arrives later than usual and that's okay. You cannot heal your wounds if you are constantly busying yourself and are tucking it away. Fall in love with the idea of deep, internalized healing. In this episode, I chat with founder of Cravin' Kitchen Co, Celia P. about the idea of deep, internalized healing, triggers from our trauma, speaking about our experiences and owning our truth with relations to sexual violence.