T&J: A Roman Empire Love Story

Designed to be an experimental compliment to the Trailer, as the podcast series nears its finale, I wanted to collect the mnemonic tags, parodies, sound effects, foley and quotes (most but not all) from the proverbial T&J storytelling garden — to show how much it's grown.

Eunuchs were prominent figures in T&J era Byzantium, and the most notable by far was the general, Narses. But for those whose only touchstone for eunuch representation has been the character, Varys, from the HBO hit series 'Game of Thrones,' consider this a masterclass in eunuch culture and physiology.

In a total antique PR disaster, the Justinianic Plague a.k.a. the bubonic plague a.k.a. the world's very first pandemic reduces the Roman Empire's population by about half and reverses some pretty ossified norms — sound familiar? We meet three Johns (and thanks to Theodora, lose one) along with an OG sea monster.

A huge swath of the world goes dim for a year and a half after a mysterious haze covers Eurasia's skies. The abrupt dip in climate creates some pretty ideal conditions for the bubonic plague. Meanwhile, T&J set out to restore the Roman Empire with less-than-desirable results.

The Nika Riots leave Constantinople a tabula rasa for Justinian's masterpiece cathedral, the Hagia Sophia. Although, not without petty rivalries, starchitects and a shrewd Hebrew king's influence along the way.

To move forward, we must first look back ... to the early days of T&J's being crowned empress and emperor, where a confluence of unfortunate policies — plus, a flawed hanging — cause the couple to come scarily close to losing everything. Thankfully, generally speaking, they have just the crew on-hand to turn things around.

Bonus episode courtesy of my new South African and Articles of Interest fans! What was the Birkin bag of the T&J era? Could someone tell the difference between a Roman and a Persian based on dress alone? Were couches and bedding like what we have today? This episode we go deep into the color purple, marriage belts and baby tunics in a conversation all about sixth century Byzantine bling and threads thanks to the expertise of Dr. Elizabeth Dospěl Williams. Betsy is the Curato...

T&J themselves owned enslaved human beings, and they were far from alone. Enslavement in the Roman Empire was the practice of both prostitutes and priests, even rabbis. Justinian hires some VIP jurists to Marie Kondo centuries of Roman law.

One thing we can definitively say is that the Goths weren’t dressing in all-black and ornamenting their buildings with gargoyles. So how did the name of a single barbarian people make it to the 21st century and still mean so much?

Justinian, now emperor, decides he wants to restore the Roman Empire to its full territorial glory. Piece of cake, right? Good thing T&J have their favorite couple on-hand to help make it all happen.

We cross over the Danube River to uncover the many dichotomies between the Romans and their scruffier neighbors to the north. Justinian’s Uncle Justin leaves Thrace for Constantinople and sets off a chain of events that will lead T&J onto the throne.

The smallest of the Greek letters — or what we'd think of as the letter 'i' — blows early Christian doctrine wide open. T&J link up and find themselves on opposite sides of the bitter theological divide.

Byzantium enjoyed many of the imperial realities of Rome, above all, in 'bread and circuses.' That is, free bread and entertainment. We meet Theodora as a sexy, young star of the Constantinople stage and explore what made entertainment throughout the empire possible — factions.

Istanbul was Constantinople and Constantinople was Byzantium. Welcome to T&J! A limited series podcast devoted to sixth century Byzantium and the greatest recorded love story on earth — that between Empress Theodora and her husband, the Emperor Justinian. Join me, your host, Christine Laskowski, on this epic, monthly audio journey through a secret history, which includes (but is not exclusive to): an uprising, a plague, a reacquisition of imperial territory, a year-and-a-half when the sk...