TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with. What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home. Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writersHow separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistanceJulie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with writingHow to break through the resistance when children feel daunted by the idea of expressing themselvesWhy Julie believes performance anxiety is at the root of resistance when kids struggle to begin a writing taskAdvice for parents raising kids who experience intense resistance around the writing processResources mentionedJulie Bogart’s Brave Writer websiteJulie Bogart’s Blog at Brave WriterBrave Writer Writing BlitzBrave Writer PodcastRaising Critical Thinkers: A Parents’ Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie BogartThe Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life by Julie BogartJulie Bogart on InstagramJulie Bogart on FacebookJulie Bogart on TwitterSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.About my guestsJac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements. Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac. Things you'll learn from this episodeThe story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created itWhat the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspectsWhat Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with itThe difference between emotional regulation and energy regulationResources mentionedAutism Level UP!Autism Level UP! on FacebookAutism Level UP! on InstagramThe S.C.E.R.T.S. ModelUniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry PrizantBarry Prizant Talks About His Book “Uniquely Human”Dr. Barry Prizant and Dave Finch Talk About Their New Podcast, Uniquely Human (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast) Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhDSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment. So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next. Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.Things you'll learn from this episode:How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven yearsHow I envisioned Tilt when I first developed itWhy I believe there is no such thing as “normal”What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired childrenHow my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner workThe five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent yearsSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

The world has changed so very much in the past few years, including in no small way how our kids relate to other kids. I get a pang of nostalgia when I think about how I used to form friendships when I was younger in a more analog world, but I can also feel excitement about the many possibilities that have opened up for kids like ours to find their communities thanks to the technology they’re growing up with.In this episode, Sam Young is going to talk with us about what a meaningful and healthy social life might look like for our differently wired kids, and how we can support them in the process. We explored how online communities have impacted socializing for neurodivergent kids, how parents can support kids in developing the skills to help with social anxiety, key elements to look for in ideal social environments for our differently-wired kiddos, and much more.Sam Young MEd is a growth-minded, two-time Fulbright Scholar and Director of Young Scholars Academy, a strength-based, talent-focused virtual enrichment center that supports twice-exceptional, neurodivergent, and gifted students and their families. Sam is a neurodivergent educator who has ADHD. As an ADHD learner, he has a tremendous understanding of, experience in, and respect for all things related to neurodiverse education. Before founding Young Scholars Academy, Sam taught in a variety of capacities—including nearly a decade at Bridges Academy—at an array of programs in the US, Europe, and Asia. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat reimagining our kids’ social life really is aboutHow online communities have impacted our kid’s social livesWhat Sam’s students wish their social lives looked likeHow parents or adults in kids' lives can support them in building skills to help them with social anxietySam’s thoughts on social skill groups and their efficacyExpectations that parents have that might be getting in the way of their kid’s social livesHow parents can support a kid who is feeling alone to the point of their self-confidence and self-worth being affectedResources mentioned:Young Scholars AcademyYoung Scholars Academy Winter Courses10 tips to help 2e kiddos socialize AND a bonus videoYoung Scholars Academy on FacebookYoung Scholars Academy on InstagramBridges AcademyReady Player OneDavidson Young Scholars Joseph RenzulliSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.About my guest:Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.You'll learn:What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many peopleWhat “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuckHow unschooling is tied to decolonizationWhat “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling”What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her childrenHow Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their familyWhat a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experienceResources mentioned:Akilah Richard’s websiteRaising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah RichardsFare of the Free People PodcastAkilah’s website SchoolishnessAkilah’s coaching offeringsSavor ComplexAkilah Richard TEDx Asbury Park TalkShawna Murray BrowneSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox. Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem. About Linda MurphyLinda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language)Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidanceWhy declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulationCommon language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions)How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and developmentWhat we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communicationWhat to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”? Resources mentionedLinda Murphy’s websiteDeclarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. MurphyDeclarative Language websiteDeclarative Language on FacebookDeclarative Language on InstagramOne Exchange at a Time (from Linda’s blog)Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could  talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma? In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.About Sandi LermanSandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat developmental trauma isWhether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound waysWhy two different kids might internalize the same experience differentlyHow are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks likeHow PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental traumaSpecific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced traumaWhat the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks likeResources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental TraumaSandy Lerman’s Heart Strong International websiteHeart Strong International on FacebookSandi Lerman on LinkTreeDr. Bruce PerryDr. Ross GreeneDr. Mona DelahookeThe Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MDSomatic ExperiencingEMDR TherapySupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways.Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology. Things you'll learn from this episode:How Sarah defines peaceful disciplineWhat the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional developmentHow to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”)How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parentingWhy removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long termWhat Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations Resources mentioned for:Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion SeedsPeaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. MooreDandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert InterviewsDandelion Seeds on InstagramDandelion Seeds on FacebookDandelion Seeds on YouTubeDandelion Seeds on TwitterSign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviewsSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for. In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhy Chris believes the middle school years are magicalWhat the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through themWhat individuation is and how to navigate it with your childrenAdvice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s developmentHow to navigate a child breaking our trustWhat companioning is and how to do that for our kids Resources mentionedChris Balme’s websiteFinding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris BalmeChris’s Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack)Not Much, Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers by Linda PerlsteinMaria Montessori Anders Ronnau on How He’s Transforming ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast)Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud on How to Motivate Kids and Build Their Stress Tolerance (Tilt Parenting podcast) The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016.The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine. In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit. Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.  Things you'll learn from the episode: How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s dayThe benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intentionAsher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doingHow meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habitResources mentioned:The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal ElrodPat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive IncomeKerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment)Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYESupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations. In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths.  and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings.Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neuropsychology, PC, the founder of ChildNEXUS.com, and the host of the Diverse Thinking · Different Learning podcast. She specializes in the assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, and she has extensive experience evaluating children and adults who present with neurological, medical and psychiatric disorders.Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat a diagnosis actually is and what it can mean to a familyHow to balance communication surrounding your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses so the emphasis is not on challengesWhat types of language to use when talking with your kids about their diagnoses, and how to evolve language as kids get olderHow to navigate talking with children and teens about their neurodifferences if they’re resistant to labels or being “otherized”Best practices for talking about diagnoses in households with neurotypical siblingsHow to give kids the tools and empowerment they need to ultimately feel confident navigating situations in their lives where they are judged by their diagnosis and related stigmaResources mentioned Dr. Karen Wilson’s websiteDr. Karen Wilson on TwitterDr. Karen Wilson on LinkedInChildNEXUSDiverse Thinking, Different Learning (Karen’s podcast) Dr. Karen Wilson on How to Know if Your Child is Ready for the Transition to Elementary School (Tilt Parenting podcast)Carol Dweck and MindsetSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt.Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted and twice-exceptional, parenting coaching and workshops, and consultation with educators and psychotherapists. Dr. Post is the parent of two gifted young adults and served as co-chair of a gifted parents advocacy group when her children were in school. Her writing includes articles, several book chapters, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Her new book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, combines research, theory, and clinical experience, and extends her advocacy efforts to address the needs of parents of gifted children.Things you'll learn from this episodeThe common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids may experience as part of their journeyWhy parents of gifted kids feel intense pressure surrounding their child’s educational path and how that can negatively impact familiesWhy the word “potential” is a loaded one in families with gifted and 2e kids, and how parents can change their relationship with this conceptWhy anxiety is common amongst parents raising gifted or 2e kidsThe unique challenges BIPOC parents raising gifted kids faceWhy self-awareness is the road map to attuned parenting when raising gifted and 2e kidsResources mentionedGail Post’s websiteGifted ChallengesThe Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children by Gail PostGail Post / Gifted Challenges on TwitterGail Post / Gifted Challenges on InstagramParenting From the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Dan SiegelMarc SmolowitzSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives.Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives.Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International.Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat mindfulness actually isWhy developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for childrenHow mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kidsHow mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult momentsTips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your familyResources mentioned for Mindfulness for KidsKate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ ClubMindfulness in Schools ProjectMindful SchoolsMindUP FoundationSitting Still Like a Frog (book)Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes)“When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article)Free mindfulness course through Future LearnSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Last month, my friend and colleague Dr. Matt Zakreski joined me for a special live event to talk openly and honestly about the mental health challenges facing our kids and families.More than 300 parents joined us for a rich, supportive, and intimate conversation. Truly feeling seen when our families are in a dark season or crisis-mode is what we need, though these opportunities can be hard to find.By the end of the night, we realized there was still a lot to discuss, and so Matt and I promised to continue the conversation. We hope you'll join us for our next event which is happening next Tuesday, February 21st 8pm ET.Some of the topics we'll be covering include:when a child has lost all sense of motivation and purposenavigating a child’s relationship with screens and techwhen a child’s mental health negatively impacts siblingswhat to do when therapy isn’t “working”when to consider therapeutic boarding schools, etc.supporting neurodivergent kids with paralyzing anxietyhelping a gifted or 2e child experiencing an existential crisisThis is a 90 minute live event so there will be a lot of time to answer questions, and it will be recorded so people who can’t make it like can still take part in the learning.  If your differently wired a child or adolescent is struggling with their mental health right now, I hope you'll join us and feel supported and connected and know that you're not alone. Again, it’s all happening on Tuesday, February 21st, at 8pm ET. Register here.Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools.I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines.Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses.Beth Liesenfeld, MOT, OTR/L is an occupational therapist passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff! Her company, The IEP Lab, provides online workshops and courses as well as produces The Parent IEP Lab Podcast.Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat parents actually need to know before they go into an IEP meetingThe criteria for designing an effective and supportive IEPThe intention behind the goals written into any IEP, and how to create goals that lead to hoped for outcomesWhat parents can do if their children’s school doesn’t follow through on the accommodations provided in their child’s IEPHow to include accommodations for students who are struggling with school refusal and therefore may not be meeting attendance requirementsWhat the IDEA says about seeking an IEP for twice-exceptional children who may be performing “adequately” but aren’t reaching their potentialResources mentioned for the IEP ProcessThe IEP Lab websiteIEP Process Step-By-Step Guide (free download)The Ultimate Parent IEP Pre Course (Beth’s signature program)COPAA (Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates)Wrightslaw Special Education and AdvocacyIndividuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)How to Feel Heard and Communicate Who Your Child is with Ease: How to Write a Vision Statement! (The IEP Podcast - Episode 41)Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.Things you’ll learn from this episodeHow to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactiveWhat the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks likeHow the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challengesThe benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kidsWhat is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experienceThe simple act with huge benefits: deep breathsHow taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kidsResources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t ExpectMargaret Webb Life CoachParenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online CourseMartha BeckSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

I’m honored to kick off the season with a powerful conversation about autistic burnout with autism and neurodiversity support specialist, Kristy Forbes. Kristy and I talk about what exactly autistic burnout is and how it presents, why “deep rest” is critical for someone experiencing autistic burnout, and how autistic burnout is differentiated from mood disorders or depression. We also talk frankly about the challenges of seeing burnout in autistic children through a neuronormative lens, and how that may lead to therapies and strategies that may be the opposite of what a child in autistic burnout actually needs.Kristy Forbes is an Australian-based autism & neurodiversity support specialist with experience working with clients both nationally and internationally. This includes neurodivergent people and their families; and professionals who wish to support them, such as educators, psychologists, pediatricians, allied health professionals, support workers and integration aides.Kristy is formally identified autistic, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) as well as being a parent to four neurodivergent children.Things you'll learn from this episodeWhat autistic burnout is and how it's different from other types of burnoutHow mental health challenges might be misinterpreted in autistic burnout treatmentHow to support young people, adolescents, and children in recognizing the value of taking pause and restingClues to help parents have a better understanding of what their child is struggling withExamples of what deep rest might look like for children and young peopleHow to recognize when your child is starting to emerge from burnoutResources mentioned for Autistic BurnoutKristy Forbes’ website InTune PathwaysKristy Forbes on FacebookA Conversation with Dr. Melissa Neff About Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) (podcast)In Tune Families Core ProgramsKristy Forbes on InstagramHarry ThompsonA Conversation with Neurodiversity & Support Specialist Kristy Forbes (Tilt Parenting Podcast)Kieran Rose, The Autistic ActivistKristie’s Critical Care & Recovery ProgramSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is.As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day. Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhy Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the worldThe core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive DisciplineWhat truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for usHow mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult momentsThe way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experienceHow to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a profound impact in our familiesThe power of the intentional pause Resources mentioned for calming the drama at homeJoyful Courage (Casey’s website)Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey by Casey O’RoartyJoyful Courage podcastHow Positive Discipline Can Help Atypical Children Thrive (podcast episode)Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen’s website)Love and Love with Joyful Courage (Facebook Group)Joyful Courage Parents of Teens (Facebook Group)Joyful Courage on InstagramSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking.Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way.  About Dr. Tamar ChanskyDr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA.  In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety. Things you'll learn from this episodeWhether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kidsWhat the definition of negative thinking isWhether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimisticWhat the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kidsWhether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or notThe four steps to combat negative thinkingHow to navigate the balance of protecting children from adversity and exposing them to the nature of the world around us Resources mentioned:Dr. Tamar Chansky’s websiteFreeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness by Dr. Tamar ChanskyFreeing Yourself from Anxiety: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens by Dr. Tamar ChanskyFreeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful, Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Dr. Tamar  ChanskyChildren’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PAWorrywisekids.orgSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to. Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked with families, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. Deeply steeped in the theory and practice of family therapy, Brown uses a systemic approach that allows him to understand the system, or context, in which problems are both formed and are healed. This approach has revealed a simple yet profound method of empowering parents and their adolescent youth to put an end to destructive control battles for good. Brown is also a trainer of parents and mental health professionals. Additionally, Brown works in industry with teams and work groups to increase organizational effectiveness. Things you’ll learn from this episodeWhat parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to itThe importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnoutWhy moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dadsWhat recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takesHow to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindsetResources mentioned for burned out parentsNeil Brown’s websiteEnding the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect by Neil BrownHealthy Family Connections Podcast (Neil’s podcast)Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram