TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

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How Shame Turns a Trigger Into a Spiral w/ Frank Spinelli EP 138

2026-09-0837:53

In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with physician and author Dr. Frank Spinelli to talk about shame, why it can become so deeply tied to jealousy and insecurity, and how one triggering moment can quickly turn into a spiral. You get triggered. You check the phone, withdraw, accuse, react, or do something you later regret. Then comes the second layer: “Why did I do that?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why am I like this?” That’s where shame can take over. Dr. Spinelli explains the differ...

What Your Hardest Feelings Are Trying To Tell You w/ Daniel Smith EP 137

2026-06-0238:44

Purchase Daniels Book - Hard Feelings: Finding the Wisdom in Our Darkest Emotions In this episode of Top Self, Shanenn sits down with psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith to explore a question most of us never stop to ask: What if the emotions you're trying hardest to get rid of are actually trying to help you? Whether it's jealousy, shame, envy, regret, or anxiety, many of us spend our lives chasing relief—seeking reassurance, distracting ourselves, or try...

Still in Your Jealousy Hangover? Try This. EP 136

2026-04-2816:54

You messed up. You spiraled. You said something you wish you could take back. And now you feel terrible — which actually means you're doing something right. Feeling bad after a jealous episode is healthy. It means you care. But there's a difference between feeling bad and living there. And if you're someone who stays in the spiral for hours, days, or even weeks after a jealous episode — replaying it, shutting down, telling yourself you're broken and unlovable — this episode is for you. Beca...

Still Mad. Still Wrong. Here's Why. EP 135

2026-04-0716:42

You knew you were wrong the second he flipped that phone around. Nothing suspicious. Just a bacon recipe. And somehow you were still annoyed at him. That feeling has a name — and once you understand it, you can’t unsee it. You’ve done the spiral. You built the whole case in your head. And then the truth came out and it was… a bacon recipe. You know you were wrong. They know you were wrong. And somehow you’re still a little irritated at them. This episode is about that moment — the one most pe...

You're Already Living Worst Case Scenario EP 134

2026-03-2433:15

You’re Already Living the Worst Case Scenario What if the thing you’re most afraid of happening would actually hurt less than what you’re putting yourself through right now? It sounds hard to believe—but there’s real research behind it. In this solo episode, Shanenn digs into why the jealous spiral itself is the worst-case scenario—not the thing you’re afraid of. You’re not waiting for the bad thing to happen. You’re already in it. From Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert’s Impact...

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TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships