Talking Sex

This episode is different from all others we have done so far.Mostly because the usual suspects—Sunny, Beli and I (Suhas)—are out and about in Mexico! If this were a video show, we could have worked that in visually, but it is of course, not a video show. So, you will have to take our word for it.And what does that have to do with the show anyway, you ask? Well, that is a fair question. On our journey over we got to reflect on what the journey of this podcast has been, and so it seemed that the podcast itself can be, for once, the theme of a podcast episode. Call it self-awareness, call it self-indulgence. Today we will talk about what we have talked about. Or at least what has stood out for us in what we have talked about. A highlights package, if you will. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Now most of our episodes are from a straight man’s perspective. Well, three straight men, but all straight nonetheless, but that is not all there is obviously. So every now and then we reach out to our gay friends and invite them over to the show to bring in that view. Well, not everyone accepts the invitation but today, we got lucky.Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Today’s theme was not chosen proactively. It is a reaction to the new Netflix series, The Principles of Pleasure. Given what this podcast is about, we watched it and had things to discuss. So here we are today. Play on!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

There are a lot of new words popping up around us when it comes to dating, love and sex. Language evolves, of course. New words find their way through a slow accretionary process and vocabulary expands.The headline—new words added to the OED—is quite an essential around the changing of years. ‘Contactless’ and ‘adulting’ were among the additions in 2021 for example. Fine words. However this is evolution. Slow moving. Gradual. And in this case, imagining the fuddy duddies at work at the OED, the change is careful and deliberate. There is another shift. More mutation, if you will. Words that become relevant because the concepts they represent become necessary. Gaslighting, for example. Used effectively to expose the reality of toxic relationships, the word caught on.And yes, there are cases of it being applied with insufficient examination, but that is a burden that all words carry. Today we will look at a list of words that is emerging around dating and sex, and try and unpack them and even pick favourites for eventual recognition as words.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Sex in marriages lends itself to some all too easy stereotypes. And while the standard issue jokes can (sometimes) be funny, the theme needs some exploring. And so this episode. With three people in long term relationships, two curious bystanders, and one expert. A very stimulating conversation, and one that will probably help you contextualise a lot of what you have been going through in your own long relationship. Or indeed what you might go through when you are in a long relationship. Play on, you must.Amazon Misters Store: https://amzn.to/3cZiiR0Please use this coupon code to avail Rs.100 off on all productsPODCAST100Blog: https://misters.in/en/blog/sex-when-you-have-been-married-for-years/https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

An ancient text, naughty yet wise, wistful yet joyous, teasing yet direct. We had so much fun reading these poems to each other, and did a little bit of deconstruction and a whole lot of gushing while at it. Play on, you will love it. https://amzn.to/3sE2rLQhttps://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Porn. It is a tricky theme. To watch it, to not watch it. Is there good porn, and bad porn? How do we identify porn addiction? And what do we do if we find ourselves addicted? All of this and more in this freewheeling chat about porn. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Discussions on mythology are fraught with assorted dangers so apologies in advance to anybody who finds this version unacceptable, of course.To start, a broad outline of the Yellamma tale as it appeared in The Hindu newspaper.The story goes that the Goddess was the wife of sage Jamadagni, and had three sons. Renuka earned her husband’s fury for not dutifully filling up water in the clay pot for his rituals, as she was distracted by the sight of Gandharvas, who had taken the form of men, bathing in the river. Being a sage’s wife meant sacrificing her sexual needs, and mythical tales hint at how watching the men made Renuka painfully aware of her own sexually unfulfilled life. Through his powers of intuition, Jamadagni became aware of his wife’s thoughts and ordered his sons to behead her. Of the three sons, only the third son Parashurama agreed to execute the father’s orders, but later, pleased by his obedience, when Jamadagni bestowed a wish for fulfilment upon his son, he prayed to his father to restore his mother back to life. Several such stories of the goddess exist and in one Renuka’s heads split into ten when her son kills her.And our guest tonight, Shilpa Mudbi, of the amazing Urban Folk Project. From their site, “Yellamma’s story is not a myth but the collective histories of people, especially, women and their trials and tribulations that echo from our past. ‘Yellamma and Other Stories’ is musical storytelling curated to give audiences a glimpse into the mythical world of Goddess Yellamma. In presenting Yellamma’s tale, the performance poses pertinent questions on patriarchy, purity and power structures.”https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

We are back. It is Season two of Talking Sex. And in our first episode we talk about Sex Education, the Netflix Show. It is altogether amazing that a show about young people discovering sex through a series of misadventures holds so much of value for grown-ups (still) trying to figure out sex! And we delve deeper into what the amazing Dr Jean Milburn (played by the amazing Gillian Anderson) would have to say (hypothetically) about the preoccupations that men have around sex. Say, the question of penis size, or lasting longer. A recap of various themes that came up in our first season, but fairly entertaining. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcastThe Misters Five Point Plan to Last Longer During Sexhttps://bit.ly/30r61yXWhat is the perfect penis size?https://bit.ly/3E1oCPLTalking Sex | Marriage, Work, Parenting and Sexhttps://bit.ly/3IMHndH

To discuss the idea of man and the challenges and frustrations it creates for men and women, we have one of Indian poetry’s brightest rising stars, Abhishek Annica. Abhishek's wonderful poem, Vyakaran, https://poshampa.org/vyaakaran-abhishek-anicca-poem/ tell the story of not belonging beautifully. The idea of male vulnerability, and revisiting the essence of male friendships all come up in this episode that moves between poetry and prose, between the comic and the tragic and between sameness and difference. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The most interesting stories about our misconceptions about sex, say in our twenties, or even the ones we carry with us now, go back to childhood. And when the root story is told, it is often tragicomic. The group of friends who decided to convince a particularly studious sort of classmate that his penis is extremely small. Or the ones who spread the idea that semen is so limited that if you masturbate a 1,000 times you will have none left. So many such. (On masturbation, do read https://misters.in/en/blog/how-much-should-one-masturbate/)The attempt in this podcast has been to try and move on from all that. However, how does one move on? There’s the risk of suggesting therapy to everyone, and while that may be no bad thing, it is a non-starter for purely practical reasons. (On therapy, this may be a great read, https://misters.in/en/blog/a-more-meaningful-way-of-talking-to-your-partner-about-sex/)Much of what was clearly unreliable information—gleaned from friends on playgrounds, or on the back benches in class—stays with us and continues to shape our views well into adulthood.With us today to discuss all this are of course the usual suspects, and Manak of the YP Foundation, an organisation that is doing amazing work with young people on sex and gender.https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The question of size comes up for all men, in one way or another. The line, 'size does not matter,' is heard often and loud. An added dimension is that most men—nearly all men—who are worrying about size have a fairly normal penis size. According the scientific data—on the basis of a scientific study published in British Journal of Urology International in 2014—the average penis size is 5.16 inches when erect, with a standard deviation of 0.65 inches. Based on this data the men who come to Misters (Misters.in) looking for a penis size increase have almost always been between 40 and 97 percentile! This means that men with a concern about penis size generally, statistically speaking, have a normal sized penis.The penis size improvement project--flawed as it is--represents a substantial economy. Estimates here at Misters, suggest that it represents commerce of at least 30 Million USD per year in India. And yet there’s the categorical view from science, that nothing—barring surgical interventions—can increase size.Why the quest, then? Play on, you must!https://misters.in/en/blog/what-is-the-perfect-penis-size/(where 'according to scientific data' is mentioned)https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

Complicating the idea of man, is important for the happiness of men. Also, for happiness all around too. Well, today we lay it bare in terms of what these three men have experienced when it comes to desire. No guest experts, but in the telling of three extremely honest stories, a revelatory, insightful episode. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

It’s a visual that we all know well. Those who grew up in South Asia, at least. Signage on the walls that one sees from the train, or from the highway, promising to fix all sorts of “gupt rog.” A fix for ‘namardi’ and ‘shighrapatan,’ if only you met them on a Wednesday morning (budhvaar subah milein.) Well, for most that world is invisible apart from the signage, so in this episode, the view from within. Speakers with first hand accounts of what it means to go into a sex clinic. Play on, you must!https://misters.in/en/blog/talking-sex-gupt-rog/ (Blog)https://misters.app.link/e/podcast

The classic story–how do all that we seek in happy domesticity get in the way of a 'good' sex life–revisited. This time with Barkha Bajaj, founder, director and senior psychotherapist Unalome. Barkha has a Masters’ degrees in Clinical Psychology (University of Pune) and in Counseling Psychology (Texas Woman’s University, USA). Over the last 13 years, she has worked extensively in India and the US.Talking to Barkha about the issues around sex experienced by couples, as seen at Misters, Suhas, Sunny and Beli.A conversation with some very useful, very actionable points for most couples. Play on, you must!https://misters.app.link/e/podcast