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Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers
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Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

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Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle talks with various experts about the art and science of parenting teenagers. Find more at www.talkingtoteens.com
94 Episodes
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Dr. Jess Shatkin, author of Born to be Wild and expert in the field of child and adolescent psychiatry, clues us into why teens run wild and how we can help keep them safe. A still-developing brain and high levels of hormones mean parents have their work cut out for them!
Lauren Muhlheim, author of When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder and clinical psychologist, speaks with Andy on spotting and treating eating disorders in teens. Eating disorders are scary, but Lauren tells us that together, families can reduce the dangers and stress eating disorders cause.
Esther Wojcicki, author of How to Raise Successful People, shares her insights into what we can give teens in the home and the classroom to set them up for ultimate success later in life. As the mother of 3 highly successful daughters in Silicon Valley and founder of the Media Arts Program at Palo Alto High School, Esther not only talks the talk but walks the walk.
Amy Schalet, author of Not Under My Roof reveals the cultural underpinnings of teen sexual development. Amy and I discuss how a focus on achievement may leave teens feeling unsuccessful in intimate relationships later in life--and also what parents might try to better prepare their teens for connection.
Tanith Carey, prolific author and journalist, joins us to talk about all the knowledge packed into her latest book, What’s My Teenager Thinking?. Tanith takes us behind “whatever” and “I’m bored” and even “You can’t make me” to discover what the heck is going through a teen’s brain when those classic one liners come out of their mouths!
What does behavioral economics and finance have to do with understanding teens’ decision-making? More than you’d think. Michelle Baddeley’s research in Copycats and Contrarians: Why We Follow Others...and When We Don’t, helps explain why people copy each other and why they rebel: a common focal point in parent/teen conversations. With the best of intentions, parents often struggle to help their teen develop a critical perspective when navigating mature decisions. But by considering the various internal and external forces at play in their teens’ experience, parents can better guide their teens to making healthier decisions. Much of what we know about decision making pivots on social learning, or the theory that new behaviors are acquired through observation and imitation. Anyone in a new situation is susceptible to this: the less we know about a topic, or the less social cues we have in a given setting, the more apt we are to copy those around us. And the most vulnerable group to this influence is first-year high school/university students. When I asked what wisdom Dr. Baddeley could offer parents who want to help their teens critically combat this influence, Dr. Baddeley focused on the importance of shared trust, communication, and anecdotes. By illuminating the consequences of a misguided decision more tangibly, Dr. Baddely noted, parents can help their teen better consider the outcomes without eroding trust. Such illustrations are reinforced in economics: when the implications are imagined more immediately, we can make stronger decisions. Another important topic covered was fruits of contrarians’ labor, and how dissent is actually quite essential to functional families. By striking the balance between unity and rebellion whilst acknowledging their teens’ voice, parents will have an easier time navigating conflict. This too is supported in her research. While contrarians may simply enjoy the risk of being different, they do push the copycats to reconsider their position. The same can be said about rebellious teens. Most of the time, they may be wrong. But sometimes, they’re right. And by squashing their perspective immediately by pulling rank, parents can do more harm than good. Ultimately, though, sometimes the decision is entirely in the teens’ hands. Once they leave the house to go to college, they will have the final say. And the best way Dr Baddely believes parents can support their teens without eroding their trust is to engage them in system 2 levels of thinking. Simply put, we have two main systems of thought: system 1 being the instinctive side and system 2 being more rational and controlled. Dr. Baddeley explains that while system 1 was more useful for early humans in hunter-gather settings, system 2 is more fruitful for today’s circumstances. And teens, often quick to engage system 1 in their decision-making, can be redirected into system 2 through parental encouragement. This is best exemplified when parents ask their teen to consider making the decision over a longer period of time. Having the teen make a comprehensive case for the decision also works in accomplishing this task. Rich with more multidisciplinary insights, my podcast with Dr. Baddeley can help you enrich your relationship with your teen whilst learning a thing or two about yourself in the process.
Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum, psychologist, educator, and author of “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?” joins us for a candid and in-depth conversation about race, identity, and how to start difficult conversations of your own in the home. In support of increased education and awareness of the experiences of POC, we are pleased to share the full 52 minute conversation in this special episode featuring Dr. Tatum.
Rosalind Wiseman, author of the classic Queenbees and Wannabees (the inspiration for the hit film Mean Girls) and four other books, shares her knowledge from over two decades of working with teens and schools. From what dads-with-daughters have to deal with now to where to draw the line on offensive language between mom-and-son, Rosalind has a wealth of insights!
Paul Tough, NYT bestselling author, shares what he learned in putting together his most recent book The Years That Matter Most. College may have a special place in the American Dream, but Paul enlightens us into what is really happening behind the scenes--it may have you rethinking decisions about higher education.
Lindsey Sealey, girl-advocate and author of the new book Rooted, Resilient, and Ready, re-joins us to discuss the tips and tricks from her latest book on raising strong girls, resilient and ready for the path ahead but firmly rooted in who they are!
Joshua Wayne, author of new book The Simple Parenting Guide to Technology, clues Andy in on the latest statistics and solutions to teens’ addiction to technology. Plus, how to adjust your rules--or set them--during the coronavirus pandemic.
Terry Iverson, founder of the non-profit Champion Now and author of Finding America’s Greatest Champion, talks about the future of the job market--where are the gaps now and what might young people do to best prepare themselves for the world of work? Find out in this week’s episode!
Tony Wagner, educator and author of several books, most recently his memoir Learning by Heart, joins us this week for a closer look at what really makes a difference in the education of teens. What makes the greatest positive impact on students? How an unconventional education can be advantageous?
Janice Kaplan, NYT Bestselling author, most recently of The Genius of Women, discusses why 90% of the population thinks only men can be geniuses. Janice and Andy cover what we can talk to and teach our girls about to empower them at a time when we need more geniuses than ever!
Tim Harford, author of Messy and accomplished journalist, economist, and speaker, and I talk about how messiness can play a positive role in your teen’s (and maybe your) life. Turns out you can use messes, randomness, and disorganization to enhance your thoughts and actions, rather than bog you down.
Dr. Michael Kimmel, author of the NYT bestselling Guyland, speaks with Andy to discuss boys, men, and everything in between. Masculinity doesn’t have to be “toxic” but the way we teach (or don’t teach) our boys about what it means to be a “man” has dire consequences for us all.
Stanley Fish, best-selling author and octogenarian, clues us into the intricacies of arguments: how argument is a more natural state; destructive arguments; how to get out of one; and much more! Grateful to be able to connect with such a distinguished author and professor as Dr. Fish!
Amy Cooper Hakim, author of Working With Difficult People, joins us for a discussion on how to deal with the most common types of difficult people, particularly when you are quarantined with them!!
Linda Perlman Gordon, co-author of Mom, Can I Move Back In With You? and four other books sat down with me this week to explores techniques and strategies for parenting teens who are transitioning into ‘real’ adulthood.Linda, a private psychotherapist in the greater D.C. area, counsels parents of teens and twentysomethings--and is the perfect person to discuss how to make better boundaries with your maturing teen!
Alexis Rockley, author of Find Your F*ckyeah, sat down with me this week to talk about how you can help your teen find their groove, their vibe, their f*ckyeah--the things that gets them popping out of bed in the morning, ready to take on the world. It’s sort of like “purpose” but will cause a lot less eyerolls…
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Comments (2)

Sandra Langstaff

Finding the first 5 mins tedious - why the book was written - instead of diving right into the content of the book.

Oct 15th
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Patrick's Mom

Does she really think her children hearing her scream into the toilet or talk 💩 to it, depending on how they see it, WON'T scare them? I can't think of anything much scarier than an angry parent yelling at the toilet, flushing, and then emerging from the bathroom chill AF!!!!

Jul 19th
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