Talks by Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the concept of freedom through the conquest of self. Per the Dhammapada, we should direct straying thoughts. The path to happiness is through quieting these elusive thoughts with single-mindedness, which brings freedom.We struggle from confusing wants and needs and forgetting the primary goal: freedom.This freedom is not worldly (economic, political, or social). It’s freedom from the ego. When the ego drops, it’s like a curtain falling, revealing the reality. This is the noumenal world described by philosopher Immanuel Kant.We are caught up primarily in the phenomenal aspect of life, seeing the world through the lens of egocentricity, which acts as a barrier to our understanding reality itself.Lola shares Plato's Allegory of the Cave, in which characters are completely focused on shadows on the wall. The spiritual task is to turn around and see the light that creates those shadows.The Buddhist parable of the poisoned arrow. A monk has all these questions for the Buddha about afterlife, etc, and says he’s giving up if the Buddha doesn’t provide answers. The Buddha responds by asking if a wounded man would refuse to have the arrow removed until he knows all the details about the shooter. The Buddha's teaching is to remove the arrow of suffering. Not provide all the answers.Lola tells the Tibetan story of the servant obsessed with learning the secret of miracles. The Master’s advice is to recite a mantra, and to not think of monkeys as he does so. His resulting experience is the lesson.Lola then discusses the Sanskrit gunas (qualities in man). The importance of cultivating sattvic (fine, high frequency) qualities like sensitivity, love of beauty, and inner harmony. We can choose to exist as inner noise or as a temple of sacred silence.Many assume that Plato's Republic is about government. Then why is its subtitle: The Conquest of Self? If the book is about conquering the self, then the "philosopher king" represents our wisdom, the "guardians" our will, and the "laborers/merchants" our desires/appetites.Lola explores Plato's idea in the book of regulating art. Rather than think of it as censorship in a republic, look at it in terms of what art you want to expose yourself to. An important step in self-conquest is observing what emotions art evokes in us.True philosophy is “love of wisdom,” she concludes, not complex “philosophical” ideas. Originally philosophy was an instruction to go within, and utilize the "noetic quality" for transformation.Sep 5, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee draws on the Dhammapada to emphasize a core principle of spiritual success: vigilance, or watching. The fool is careless and enslaved by desire. The master has firm resolve.Man is the only creature on Earth with the ability to choose. Unlike animals and plants, whose lives are determined by nature, humans possess a mind that allows for conscious choice.Man is not born a true being but a becoming. He is a state of perpetual movement between opposing attitudes and emotional states. This becoming is marked by a continual search, an inner groping.Lola calls it “faith without an object.” This search for something greater raises the perennial philosophical question: Who are you?Lola discusses philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, who calls man a “project"—one who creates himself by his own effort. Man is born an opportunity, a possibility, who must become actual.The crucial action is making an aware choice, choosing one’s life with full consciousness, rather than simply letting decisions happen passively, out of convenience, desire, or external pressure. Also, not choosing is a choice.Lola discusses two schools of thought: the Essence-Central School, which holds that man is born with a ready-made essence that merely needs to unfold (like an acorn becoming an oak), and Existentialism, which maintains that man is born as pure existence, and his essence must be actively created.Lola recaps the core principles of Buddhism’s Four Noble Truths:The First Truth is the fact of suffering (dukkha), which arises because life is constant change, and change can never satisfy the human desire for permanent pleasure.The Second Truth identifies the cause of suffering as selfish desire—a constant "thirst" or fire that only burns brighter the more it is fed. This desire unrealistically expects life to satisfy every selfish whim, which is as absurd as expecting a banana tree to bear mangoes.The Third Truth offers hope: because suffering has a cause, it has an end. Extinguishing the fire of selfish desire leads to a state of wakefulness and joy, known as Nirvana.The Fourth Truth provides the solution: the Eightfold Path, which she explains in detail.Finally, Lee illustrates the deeper meaning of the Middle Way using the story of the Buddha and a disciple, who was over-exerting himself in ascetic practice. The Buddha showed him a stringed instrument, explaining that to make music, the strings must be tuned "neither too tight nor too loose—it has to be just right." This is the path to enlightenment: balance between extremes.Lee explains how we can take the Middle Way between the world of appearance and the world of inner states of consciousness. The ultimate goal of continuous self-watching is to withdraw energy from the inner "clamoring crowd" of confusion to nourish the "new man" within. Through constant mindfulness and attention to the present moment, a window opens, and one experiences life not as a pure, empty, and all-encompassing presence. Aug 29, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, continues her discussion of the Dhammapada.She warns us against mistaking the false for the true, urging us to look into our hearts and follow our true natures. Spiritual texts are meaningless without direct action. Lola discusses the seeming conflict of seeking external rewards while professing detachment from the fruit of action.Truth simply is. It is the truth of being, which human effort must uncover. Our chief obstacle is the web of conditioning. To find truth, one must deliberately extract oneself from this accidental conditioning of our societal pressures, and even our religious background.The price of truth is rigorous personal effort. That is our payment.Lola presents the story of the Siddhartha Gautama as the ultimate example of dedicated effort. His great renunciation, his adoption of the ascetic path, and his eventual realization that extreme mortification weakened his concentration. This led him to the “Middle Way." The climax of his journey was under the fig tree where he vowed to remain until he found the way beyond death and decay.The key to liberation is inwardness. The ancient Greeks believed the heart was the seat of wisdom and intuition. The heart is always pulsing in the present moment, unlike the mind, which is trapped in the past and future.The question, "How do you go in?" is answered simply: "You simply stop going out." Inwardness is achieved by stopping the mind’s outward movement toward thoughts and desires.Lee says to abandon the ways of the "lazy cowherd" who spends his time counting others' cows by merely reading the interpretations of the actual scripture instead of investigating the scripture itself—and seeking direct experience.Aug 2, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the meaning of the Dhammapada -Twin Verses.She discusses the importance of thought and self-mastery in shaping one's experience. We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.An impure, conditioned mind leads to suffering, while a pure, unconditioned mind leads to unshakable happiness. We have, over and over, a choice of conduct: the easy path of catering to personal ego desires, or the difficult path of conscious transformation.The negative path is effortless and offers temporary satisfaction. The positive path requires a great deal of effort and an active choice to go against one's conditioned nature.For instance those who showed up this morning for Lola’s talk. It would’ve been easier, she says, to sleep in and relax. Their attendance was a choice to take the more difficult path toward awakening.What is vital versus what is trivial? Using the metaphor of a poorly thatched roof, she warns that passion will seep through an untrained mind, while a well-trained mind remains impervious.Lola examines the various Buddhist traditions that emerged after the Buddha's death. She describes the division into the Hinayana (Small Vehicle) and the Mahayana (Great Vehicle).The practical method for self-transformation is Vipassana—the effortless effort meditation. This technique involves simply sitting and observing what rises in the mind and body without judgment. To enter this state, one must "stay out of the picture" of mental activity, serving purely as the witness.The central goal of Buddhism is the enlightenment experience (Bodhi), which means "to wake, to become aware of." This awakening is a shift from a life of relativity and conditioning to an unconditioned life defined by non-attachment, non-discrimination, and non-ego.Enlightenment is a personal experience. Value your own experiences and exert yourself. From the sutras: "By oneself is one purified."The story of Gautama's path to becoming the Buddha.The meanings of the term Dhamma (or Dharma), which is linked to Pada (the path). Dhamma means: Ultimate Reality. Pada is the path to this ultimate truth.We need to drop conceptual thinking. Like a seed: the outer seed rots away to leave the essence from which the entire tree grows, The ego and thoughts must disintegrate to reveal the truth within.Ultimately, the goal is to find the "space before the thought." Or the state of "no mind." July 26, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains the story of Dogen Zenji, the founder of the Soto Zen school in Japan. One master says, “Not knowing is most intimate.”Dogen’s question: if we are already Buddha nature — if enlightenment is our essence — then why do we need to seek it?When Dogen returned to Japan, he founded the Soto school and taught Shikantaza — just sitting. This practice, Lola explains, is single-minded meditation without striving or grasping — simply allowing truth to reveal itself.Meditation, explains Lola, is about resting in awareness, with nothing held back. The nature of mind. It’s both the source of our bondage and the key to our liberation. We must move beyond the “content” of the mind — our thoughts, dreams, and desires — to see mind itself, the clear space in which everything appears.No-mind is not the absence of awareness but awareness without clutter. It is the crystal-clear state when the activity of thinking subsides.We need to observe carefully: subject and object, thinker and thought, self and world. As one sees how all phenomena are like dreams, the sense of self begins to dissolve. Awakening brings clarity and wonder — colors seem brighter, the world more alive, even rocks appear to breathe.Lola warns that the ego can cling to enlightenment experiences. The final task, she says, is to “let go of the remedy” — to release attachment to spiritual methods once they’ve served their purpose. Like the five men carrying a boat instead of realizing they’ve already crossed the river. The teachings from Rinzai Zen are about the four positions in the relationship between ego and True Self, host and guest, questioner and answerer.Enlightenment isn’t somewhere else to reach. It’s here, now, in the clear seeing that truth is.July 5, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, tells a parable about a powerful Chinese prime minister, who was a devoted Zen student. When the minister asked his master, "how does Zen explain egotism?" the master insulted him, calling him a "numbskull". As the minister's face filled with anger and hurt feelings, the master smiled and said, "Your Excellency, this is ego".Lola explains that this ego is our very basic problem. Paradoxically, we need It presents we need the ego to function in the world, yet it is also our biggest stumbling block to discovering our true identity.Most people, she says, are so caught up in this pseudo self that they don't even know how to begin looking for the True Self. She explains that the rules of Zen practice, such as the sesshin, are designed to force practitioners to observe oneself and one’s reactions.Lola explains how the formation of the ego begins in infancy. A child, Lola says, is born like a tabula rasa or "clean slate." Everything—food, love, comfort—comes from out there. The sense of me is formed later, in contrast to “other". This "me" is a "reflected awareness". It is a reflective center built entirely from the opinions of others, starting with the mother. If the mother smiles and appreciates the child, the child feels valuable, and this positive reflection builds the ego . Conversely, if the mother ignores the child, the child feels worthless and rejected, which builds an "ill ego."This ego is necessary. The True Self can only be known by passing through this ego. The path is to first know "other," then "me" (the reflection), and finally to see that reflection as the illusion it is.As the child becomes an adult, the search for the true self begins, but it's often misguided. People look to religion, but with nearly 400 sects, they usually just pick one that reinforces what one already thinks—which reinforces the ego.The great religious traditions all aim to show one, universal truth shared by great figures like Buddha and Jesus. The smaller sects tend to get lost in trappings.This societal atmosphere we develop in helps form the ego. Lola explains there are two centers in each of us. The first is the acquired center, given to us by society and shaped by others. This is not direct experience. The second is the true center, which we are born with and is given by existence; this is direct experience . To glimpse the true center, the ego must be overcome.Lola discusses a concept of "masks of the universe” from physicist Edward Harrison. Including, historically, the magic era, the mythic era, etc. (While this is after Lola’s time, it reminds me of a more primitive structure that scholar Ken Wilber later provides us more comprehensively).Most of us are trapped in our own minds, which are full of intellectual nonsense and sentiments that make us miserable.One way out, Lola concludes, is the Zen path, which requires persistent observation: one must really observe" oneself in action to see the source of one’s misery. Second is re-evaluating our values.The goal is to reach a state of "just so." With values that are free from ego.The parable about the Zen master Joshu and a stone bridge.Jun 28, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, argues that most people waste their lives playing superficial games and are deceived by their own minds. They fail to engage in the urgent, life and death work of knowing themselves. The pursuit of money, power, prestige, and reputation are hollow endeavors, like waves on an ocean.Lola draws parallels between Zen practice and the Socratic method. Many of us meditate for a short period only to ignore one’s inner awareness for the other 23 hours of the day.Lola describes Greek philosopher Socrates as a figure who masterfully employed a method of inquiry similar to that of Zen. Socratic questioning, like the Koan, was a tool to penetrate the world of appearances and challenge ingrained opinions. This method, like Zen, is not about adding new beliefs but about drawing out the truth that is already within.Central to both the Socrates and Zen is in admitting ignorance. Plato depicted Socrates as a man whose wisdom lay in recognizing his own ignorance. Lola parallels this with the Zen master Bodhidharma, who, when asked by an emperor who he was, famously replied, "I don't know". This "unknowing" is a powerful spiritual state that moves beyond concepts, opening a space for true, transformative knowing to emerge.Ideas by themselves, even great spiritual ideas, do not raise the level of a human life. Without action by us, ideas have no real transforming power.Jun 21, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, recounts the story of master Joshu who offers cups of tea to the various monks, illustrating the idea of how distinction keeps us from seeing the world as it is. When he offers the same tea to newcomers and long-time members alike, the manager asks why. And Joshu has a shouting response. Why?Our scientific world breaks the world into bits, opreating within a framework of complexity and duality because seeing the simplicity of the whole is so difficult for us to grasp.Zen teaches us the value of non-discrimination—the art of seeing things as they are, without interpreting or naming. Lola illustrates this with a personal anecdote about a wedding party where she presided—and the which they hoped would symbolize the couple’s eternal love. But the candle kept blowing out.A tool for achieving this mental shift is the koan, and how it is not an intellectual puzzle to be solved. Rather, it is a device intended to exhaust the rational mind. The student should approach a koan" employing great faith, great resolution, and a great spirit of inquiry.”The weakness of this duality-approach becomes clear when we look at many try to understand the notion of God. In doing so, many religions create the Devil to complement the notion of God.The importance of awareness and alertness, and the meaning of the Japanese Tea Ceremony.We must pass through the obstacle of our own discriminating minds to walk freely in the universe.May 31, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses human knowledge an its limitations. Typical knowledge is the result of fragmented perception. Our knowledge is narrow, limited to appearances and governed by desire, habit, and subconscious impulses.The relationship of Surya (divine light) and Agni (divine force). Agni symbolizes will in consciousness. Together, Surya (knowing) and Agni (will) form a unity. Knowledge and Will are not separate. They are two aspects of the same foundation of reality.The Upanishads say that sin is not moral condemnation but that which causes a deviation from the straight path. Even elegant, dazzling thoughts can be a deviation, like a pebble blocking the sun. Each of us has our blind spots.Jesus said, “The crooked shall be made straight.” The ideal is to find the direct way, the single eye that fills the whole house with light.May 17, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, draws on Buddhist and Hindu traditions (including the Mahabharata, Ramayana and Bhagavad Gita) to explain the human condition.Struggles and opposition are partners in our growth. Manjushri (wisdom) is not found in shrines, but is alive within each person.Lola recounts a tale of a monk and the village courtesan.She talks about how struggle is necessary for growth; it develops character. Friend and foe, like rose and thorn, are inseparable opposites. The human tendency is to focus on one side and ignore the other. True vision includes both opposites—and finding a center in the balance of them.Lola discusses whether she thinks someone can be wealthy and still find enlightenment.The true self is both presence and emptiness. The mystery of the self is real and should be made actual. Three spokes unite in one nave, and on that which is non-existent, the nave, depends the wheel's utility.Clay is molded into a vessel, and on that which is non on its hollowness, depends the vessel's utility.By cutting out doors and windows, we build a house. and on that which is nonexistent, on the empty space within, depends the house's utility.Therefore, existence renders actual, but nonexistence renders useful.Mar 6, 1987

Note: Generally, this talk is more lighthearted than most that Lola gives. It’s nice to see that side of her personality.Lola begins with a comical tale about a man and a priest he asks for advice.Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses Lao Tzu concept of how the hole in the wheel’s knave makes its utility. How the emptiness of a vessel creates its utility.Lola asks, “Who would you rather be: a victim or a perpetrator?”It is in the world of the Relative that we can discover the Absolute.How freedom relates to relativity. Some people don’t want freedom. They’d rather follow directions.The world is like a schoolroom where the teacher is absent. It is chaotic. Where is God?She tells the story of Swami Vivekananda, who, during his first visit to the United States in 1893, was shunned for his skin color. Eventually his speech at the Parliament of the World's Religions in Chicago brought him recognition in the US. Lola explains how many spiritual seekers seek after miracles. But the world is full of miracles. A seed dies and falls into the ground and a tree grows from it. Grass grows. Look at man? He’s a miracle. The world is a manifestation of God.Feb 28, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses various texts about the notion of God — from the biblical book of Genesis to Mystica Theologica to the sutras of Patanjali.Dionysus was a disciple of St. Paul and one-time mayor of Athens.We eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil… but we must return to the Tree of Life.Buddhism did not identify God. Or a self. So for a Buddhist, what is there? Perhaps a Buddhist might say there is a Power greater than himself.Why did God create the world as it is? How do you answer the question, “Why do you love the person you love?”The wisdom of Patanjali, the author of many Sanskrit works including the Yoga Sutras. Yoga is the restraining from taking the many forms. Like a sculptor who removes parts of the stone to find the creation within.We have blind spots in our seeing, and in our hearing. We also have blind spots in our thinking… caused by the many patterns we identify with. Like a sculptor, we must learn to identify these patterns to find what remains within us.Darwin traveled the world in a big ship… and he came upon islanders who could not see his boat. It was too big. If these islanders could not see a boat because it was too big, then how do we expect to see God?That is why we meditate. To enter an area beyond our patterns, beyond our knowledge—to experience a kind of not knowing. We must give up our thoughts and identifications to experience this not-seeing. Then we can see the Truth of what we are.Lola discusses the creation of the world in the biblical chapter of Genesis. What is the Light at the beginning? And what is the Light again on the fourth day?Genesis 1:1-4 (King James version) - “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.”How this relate to Aurobindo’s poem, Savitri, that begins “"It was the hour before the Gods awake.”The tale of a man of Athos who spoke to an apricot tree and it blossomed.Jan 31, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, (who is also an ordained Christian minister) explores issues that are common to both Christian and Eastern thought to illustrate the difference between theology/philosophy and religious practice.She explains that it is easier to join a religious group and hang around it than it is to truly struggle with oneself. There are many who participate in religions just so they can tell themselves they are doing their religious duty. They learn a religious system or structure and think they have learned some truth. Not so.Simply wishing will not change you. It requires effort. We must work to be sufficiently free of delusion—which makes us more pliable and receptive continue learning.We live like a child in our father’s house—with little probing. We live under great, powerful laws of God’s will… but have we ever seen or truly understood these laws?When is the last time you were in awe of nature? The word “awful” used to mean being in awe. Now we think of it as something bad, to be feared. Feeling awe — of this mysterious thing we call life—to some it is joyful. To some it creates fear. It can be your rock, your faith.Philosophy rises from wonder. True religion arrives from awe.Lola recounts the tale of the general who visits a teacher. His question for the teacher: What is it we use every day and don’t know? The teacher served him muffins and tea. Try to stay in this awe—don’t rationalize it away. Jut remain in awe.Jesus said, ““If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” (King James, Matthew 16:24).This is conversion. Lola tells a metaphorical story of God and an Old Man. God says to him that he receives nothing but endless requests for favors and things, so he wants to hide. He asks an old man, where can he hide? The old man tells him the perfect place to hide—is inside of man. Then those that seek him will only be able to succeed after a sincere investigation within themselves.If someone asks you if God exists, what is your answer? Do most who say they are believers know it for a fact that He exists? Do atheists know for a fact He doesn’t? So what is one’s answer to be? It depends.Lola tells a tale about a woman in India who clutched her baby during a flood and is saved from the flood. Sep 20, 1987

Note: Unfortunately these talks about the Bauls were posted out of order. But the sound quality is much better on this one, which is also the most detailed in its explanation of who the Bauls were. And this talk develops into a wonderful, rich discussion of consciousness.Lola says that not many people have heard of the Bauls because they had no organization or dogma or scripture. They were freewheeling practitioners who loved dance, music and poetry—and looked within.Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explains how the Indian Bauls were a group of Hindus also were joined by a sect of Sufis when the Muslims invaded India.The Bauls did not use the term “God.” They focused mainly on the “essential man within you.”Baul literally means “affected by the winds.”The doctrine of Shakti and the follower, or Shakta.Shakti refers to the divine feminine cosmic energy and creative power that underlies all existence. It's the active principle of the Godhead, responsible for creating, sustaining, and dissolving the universe.Shaktas, or believers in Shakti, felt that the ultimate divine being is best understood and worshipped as the feminine principle, and manifests in countless forms as different goddesses.Lola recounts the story of Krishna’s origins, per the Bhagavad Gita.Bhakti Yoga, the practice of devotion thru submission to find the secret knowledge.Lola explains that Being and Awareness is like love. Love can only be known by loving. It can’t be described or taught, it needs to be experienced.She extends the metaphor to swimming. You can’t be taught how to swim outside the water. But if you go into the water and can’t swim, you fear you’ll drown. So it seems like an impossible, paradoxical situation. Spiritual practice carries with it a similar paradox.Lola discusses Ramana Maharshi.She talks about how, when we sit in silence, one puts a downward pressure into that which is within us. Eventually that pressure releases something inside that allows one to become “a man of the heart.” The pressure allows the Being to overcome the Ego.What is consciousness? That is, Lola says, the primary question of all religion. The search, in consciousness, to grow in consciousness. Through observation and alertness… of all the activity within and without—we can stir a moment of clarity, of insight. In that flash of perception consciousness sees, and knows instantly what comes from within and what comes from without. Sep 13, 1987

Note: this talk has some sound issues, but I found it valuable enough to include the bulk of it anyway. It’s about 8 minutes shorter because the cassette player apparently started warbling and slowing down badly at the end—during the discussion of Prakrit and Parusha. There is another talk on this subject available here if you are interested. It’s a fascinating doctrine.Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the accounts of the Indian Bauls - a religious group that included members of Vaishnava Hindus and Sufi Muslims.They had a freewheeling spirit. And worshipped the Hindu goddess, Kali, the Divine Mother.The Bauls sought after the meaning of the Novel Man, a concept not unlike the True Man of St. Paul.Kali and Krishna. While many saw them as opposing forces, the Bauls worshipped them together, as complementary aspects of the divine.We think we own our possessions, our thoughts, our beliefs--the more the better… but in reality they own us.Our daily life and our Being coexist. But first comes Being.Lola recounts the tale of the King and the Nun… the King makes her a queen, but even as queen, she continues to secretly pray to God.The notion of the downward movement of Prakrit into the unconscious. Some people are afraid to push downward. But they need not be.Like a scientist, we should see what we can discover inside—including our sensations and our feelings. Zen’s goal is much like that of the Bauls, but Zen is more direct.Prakrit and Purusha are two fundamental and distinct principles that explain the nature of reality. All of nature comes about and is moved by the non-moving—like a magnet moves magnetized items on a board with an unseen power. While it appears the items on the board are active, they are not moving under their own power.The entire universe is the unfolding — as the interaction between Prakrit and Parusha.When you become unattached from Prakrit—then everything follows you. Like your shadow cast ahead of you when the is sun behind you—you try but cannot follow your shadow as it moves. But turn toward the sun — the Truth — and your shadow follows you.Oct 18, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives a talk themed on Easter. (While Lola was primarily a Zen teacher, she was also an ordained Christian minister). Lola reads from the Gospels exploring the meaning of Jesus asking, “Why have you forsaken me?”Symbols of Easter include a baby chick, pecking its way out of an egg to become that which he was destined to be. That is also a good metaphor for the human situation.Lola discusses various religious traditions, including that of the Mayans of Central America and Jewish Mysticism.Nothing is taken away from the outer. And nothing is added to the inner. It is a union of the two. Nirvana is Samsara — and Samsara is Nirvana. The history of Constantine, the Roman emperor who became a Christian—and changed the world.No one becomes truly religious on the order of another. We must see to it ourselves.The story of Adam and the tree of good and evil—as well as the tree of life.Who is the True Man that goes in and out of the gates of your face?Jewish mysticism describes the Heart of Hearts, and the Heart of Stone. The internal battle. Our will can cut through the heart of stone… with a sword of truth. It takes a self-emptying of one’s self aggrandizement.The meaning of Passover. You have to empty yourself of your miseries… as well as your best parts.Many of us pray for things, and removal of miseries… without praying (or meditating) to know God himself. It’s Spiritual Hedonism.Apr 19, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the meaning of Verse 15 of the Isha Upanishad:"The face of Truth is covered with a brilliant golden lid; that do thou remove, O Fosterer, for the law of the Truth, for sight."Lola discusses the prevalence of guilt in Puritanical America. How some of us feel guilt our entire lives, and how many, sometimes because of religious traditions, feel they shouldn’t enjoy life. We should look at this guilt, and try to understand it.Meditation should not be an escape mechanism.Buddha taught that it is not life that brings sorrow—but our demands on life that causes suffering. Becoming Being… that is the end of desire and suffering. The more one feeds desire, the more it burns.Lola discusses a poem byRabindranath when he was dying.What is it in you that knows?Lola discusses sex and celibacy and its relationship to religiosity.She recounts the tale of two monks who encountered a young woman unable to cross a river. In spite of their vows, the monks carry the woman across the river and set her down. The younger monk later confronts the elder, troubled by having touched a woman in violation of their vows. The elder responds with the question, "I set her down on the other side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?"Some people mistake the rejection of life as a sign of religiosity. When Siddhartha was fasting and emaciated, he had a few followers. When he finally asked to be fed, his followers abandoned him. When he wasn’t emaciated, they no longer found him an acceptable master.We should look at the things we desire in life, our attachments, and see what we identify with. The notions of Birth and Non-Birth. The ego is very interested in one’s karma. When the actions of the mind are exhausted, then transcendence is possible. But we need the dissolution of the ego, and instead to identify with the Divine Being in us. Then that is liberation.Lola May 3, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives a detailed discussion of the philosophical and historical backgrounds of religious traditions as they developed in India—Vedas, Brahmanism and Hinduism.Lola explains the meaning of many of the Hindu terms and explores the Isha Upanishad.Shakti, the Great Mother or feminine energy of the universe. We all have in us a power. That is shake.Hindu Tantra versus Buddhist Tantra.Prakriti and Purusha. Maya.As mentioned in the Bible, your actions in this world show your faith.A medicine is true if it cures. Your experience, not words, is what matters. Consciousness does not evolve without effort.Everything in your body is used material, recycled from the past.Surya (the sun god) and Agni (the fire god). Surya is knowledge. Agni is action. The combination leads to the truth, to the Supreme Vision and Divine Bliss.We all have the same name: “I.”May 10, 1987

(Note: original recording audio is not ideal, but Lola's message is great)Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, gives an ind-depth explanation of the practice of sitting, as this talk is during a sesshin at the temple.Who is the Buddha? What is birth and death?Zazen is learning about life by dying to one’s self. Be quietly alert, dropping the ego and identifications.Our mistake is taking the phenomenal to be the noumenal. But they are really two aspects of the same thing.Emotions confuse us and cause us pain. Learning how to sit with pain. Everyone has pain. Complaining about pain is your ego at work. One transcends pain by focusing and going beyond the phenomenal.What do you want from your sitting practice? Instruction in meditation. Breath through the Hara to find the calm. Radiate your peace.The evolution of Zen from India and Hinduism to Taoism and China to America, where we are now (in 1987) the new caretakers of the tradition.The ringing of the bell as part of the transmission process. One must learn how to ring it properly.Then Lola leads a Rinzai chant before the students enter Sesshin.Nov 29, 1987

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, discusses the meaning of the Zen saying, “Joy in the morning. Sleep at night. What else?”When we “do not know,” then we don’t concern ourselves with obsessions about outcomes. That is the meaning of “no mind.”Start by discovering what “no mind” is not. Is there a gradual acquisition of “no mind?” Is there an enduring entity called self? Is there a self to improve? Do not accept of reject an answer without learning for yourself directly.Is the thinker different than his thoughts?Just like we have frames of images in our vision, which are just a series of flashes which we might think are continuous… so do we have a series of thoughts, a thinking mind, that we might think are continuous… but they are not. How do we use the mind to study the mind? A knife cannot cut itself. How can you, living in time, know what time is?The “I” that develops as one grows in childhood grasps at immediate wants. Then, eventually, it also wants to be socially accepted. Those two wishes cause conflict in us.Your knowledge and memories are held in your subconscious. Your instincts, heart beats, etc, are held in your unconscious.It is this unconscious that is the gateway to reality.There is a method to examine your self moment by moment—called Prajahara.July 18, 1981