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Tapping Q & A Podcast

Tapping Q & A Podcast

Author: Gene Monterastelli

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Tapping and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are powerful tools for reducing pain, physical trauma, and limiting beliefs. Each week tapping expert Gene Monterastelli and his amazing guests answers the most common (and uncommon questions) about how to get the most out of EFT. If you want to get more out of tapping than is an indispensable resource.
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Support the podcast! I am a huge proponent of goal setting. Having clearly defined goals is helpful in two ways. First, it helps to define the actions we need to take to achieve them. Second, it gives us a measuring stick with which to evaluate our efforts along the way and after the fact. Without having set goals I wouldn’t be as happy and successful as I am. I love goal setting so much that I created an entire web site dedicated to working toward your goals. But there is a problem with goals: they create expectations. Expectations aren't the problem, but they can create a false dichotomy. On a subconscious level we may believe that either we achieve our goals as written OR we have failed, with nothing in between. Failing to recognize our progress can demotivate us. In this short audio and tap-along I talk about how you can avoid the feeling of all or nothing that setting goals can create. (As always, the full tapping script can be found below the audio player.) If you are interested in a systematic way of using tapping to achieve your goals and avoiding common pitfalls like the “all-or-nothing” disposition, I encourage you to check out The Ruach Center Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  
Support the podcast! With some issues measuring our success is a simple task. For example, after going to the gym four times a week for a few months I can measure how much stronger I am by how much weight I can now lift compared with when I started. But not all types of transformation are as easy to track, particularly for issues and responses that are incrementally changing over time. For example, how could you measure more confidence or less anger? In this conversation Mary Ayers and I talk about how we can measure our progress through the lenses of three different characteristics of the issue that are all measurable. If you are tapping on an issue over the course of multiple tapping sessions, then understanding this is a must. First, it will help you to understand what is working so that you can continue to do it. Second, it will identify the areas where you need to try a different approach. Finally, seeing the progress that is often missed will help you to gain momentum in your transformational work. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Guest: Dr. Mary Ayers Contact: web @ TapIntoAction.com; web radio @ The Chickenshits Guide to Success; facebook @ Tap Into Action About Mary: Dr. Mary Ayers knows how to get people un-stuck! With her years of experience as a therapist and a coach, you won't find the typical or ordinary coaching techniques in her programs. When it comes to taking action, she pulls out all the stops – delving deep to find those hidden fears and limiting beliefs. Known for her UNconventional, often “off the wall” methods, she will get you moving towards your goals without bullying, shaming or "pushing through the fear". With over 27 years in the Human Development field, her accomplishments include 5 years as a coach with the Anthony Robbins Organization, EFT Expert on The Tapping World Summit, and Host of the radio show "The Chickenshit's Guide to Success".
Support the podcast! We often treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the journey towards better health as a battle. We can feel betrayed by our bodies, and feel hopeless and frustrated by our slow or lack of progress. But our bodies are not our enemy. In reality, our bodies are doing what they can to be healthy and there are simply unseen obstacles to the healing process Once we recognize that we are not separate from our bodies, and that they are trying to function in an optimal way, it becomes easier to work towards better health and well being. Recently I was working with a client on returning to a healthier body after backsliding (again). After a great session he asked if we could spend some time on helping him to believe that progress was possible and to reconnect with his body. When we had finished the session he said, “You should write that down so others can use it.” When I told him that I could share the recording if I had his permission, he insisted I did, so here it is. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora  
Support the podcast! It is amazing how much stock we put in other people's opinion of who we are and how we are supposed to be in the world. Recently I was introduced to the quote "I'm not who I think I am. I not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am." [Note: Unfortunately the source of this quote is not clear, or I would provide it. It is variously credited to Charles Horton Cooley, Thomas Cooley, and Dennis Cooley.] The gist of the quote is that we often find ourselves trying to live up to an imagined standard that we think other people have for us. This is a surefire recipe for self-sabotage! Either we will be trying to do what we want to do and trying to do what we think others want us to do. This has us taking action in multiple and often conflicting ways, which results in little to no progress. OR we take no action at all because we are caught between our own desires and the perceived desires of others. In this week's podcast I provide two ways to remedy this situation. First, I have a simple process for uncovering and tapping for the specific expectations we think others have for us. Second, I have more general tap-along to help you get moving even when you can't see the beliefs clearly. As always, I have included a text version of the tapping script below the audio player that you can print out. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora
Support the podcast! The human experience can be full of complications and conflicts. My clients often say things like "I am of two minds" or "My head is telling me one thing but my heart is telling me something else." It's difficult to move forward if we feel we are being pulled in multiple directions! To help navigate this, I have created what I call the Grounding Process. It is designed to move you from feeling scattered to being fully grounded by connecting your mind, heart, and physical body to your higher self. This is one of my favorite processes and I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. A number of years ago Jessica Ortner of the Tapping Insiders Club interviewed me about the process. We then did the process together, so that you can tap right along with it. [Note: In an effort to make the Tapping Q & A Podcast archive easier to navigate, the old bonus podcasts have been turned into full episodes. This episode was originally released December 24th, 2009.]   Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora This is one of my favorite processes. I teach it in my advanced classes as an example of both guided imagery and parts work. I do this process myself at least once a week. The first time I did it I was amazed at the information my system gave me. In this version Jessica of the Tapping Insiders Club asks me a few questions about it and then you can follow the process and tap right along.
Support the podcast! Music can be so powerful at setting our mood. So much so that experiments have shown that music can dictate our interpretation of events where images are accompanied by different kinds of music. For example, grave images with whimsical music were seen as humorous, and sad pictures with silly music were perceived as funny. We have a special connection to music in our teenage years for a number of reasons: It's usually the time in our lives in which we listen to music the most Teenagers are often most engaged in seeking out and listening to new music We experience the most emotional change in our teenage years (see podcast 373 on the adolescent brain) Hearing a song from your teenage years can instantly put you back in that time. It is more than a fleeting feeling of nostalgia, it's like you have been transported back in time. The strength of that connection means that music can be a great tool for clearing issues from the past that we are still carrying. This week I have one of my favorite tools for you on how music from our teen years can be used with tapping to effect powerful transformation.   Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora
Support the podcast! Did you know that during adolescence the brain goes through more neurological changes that it does at any point in human development? That's even more changes than during the notorious "terrible twos" and one of the reasons why interacting with teenagers can be so complicated. Being around teens can be challenging because they constantly seem to be on a giant emotional rollercoaster! This week I have a conversation with Janey Downshire who is one of the co-authors of Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide. I met Janey at the EFT Gathering a number of years ago and was instantly impressed with her work in helping parents to understand and support their teenagers. In the conversation we talk about: The difference between the settled and the unsettled brain (for teens and parents) How the adolescent brain is a work in progress Why teenage boys struggle to talk about their emotions Why teenage boys are risk seekers Why teenage girls struggle with fallout from friend groups Why parents often think something is a small deal when teens think it is a big deal Why the teenage years are harder than the "terrible twos" The goal we want for our teens: not calm, but good mental health habits that will stand them in good stead in later life How parents can avoid escalating conflict with their teenagers The best thing you can provide for your children What to tap on and when to tap as a parent How to introduce tapping to kids If you have a teenager, spend time with teenagers, or have children who will soon be teenagers, I urge you to listen to this one. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora Guest: Janey Downshire Contact: Web @ TeenagersTranslated.co.uk; Facebook @ TeenagersTranslated; email @ janey@teenagerstranslated.co.uk; Book @ Teenagers Translated: A Parent’s Survival Guide About: Janey Downshire (Grad. Dip. Couns; Cert Emotional Literacy; MBACP) and her colleague Naella Grew are both qualified counsellors, specialising in teenage development. For over 10 years, they have worked together to design a unique range of courses for students, adults and teachers, which they deliver through their company Teenagers Translated. Their presentations distil the most current research in psychology, neuroscience, biochemistry and child development into practical, relevant strategies for their audiences. Their work aims to deepen understanding and awareness of the links between emotions, physiology, mental habits and behaviour in order to promote better communication and relationships and improve mental health, emotional regulation and wellbeing in families and schools. Janey and Naella are both parents, Janey has four children, now at university and working in London.
Support the podcast! A concept that I learned very early on in my training as a practitioner was: Our emotional response is dictated by how we describe the world, and not the way the world actually is. That's why I am constantly asking my clients for more details about how they understand what is going on in their lives. In many cases, when we are able to change the way they describe their situation, their emotions shift, even before we have started tapping. One of the words that always gets my attention, is when a client uses the word "should". Should, by its very nature, implies an expectation which may or may not be true. (In practice, it almost always implies an expectation that isn't true.) There are three parts to this week's podcast: We explore where our sense of "should" comes from and why it can cause emotional problems, which in turn lead us to not taking action, or taking actions that aren't right for us. I share a simple process that you can use to interrogate the actions that you feel you "should" be taking. This process will help you to pin down the origin of a specific should, and whether or not it serves you. A simple tap-along to do once you realize you can let go of something you believe you should be doing. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify | Pandora
Support the podcast! In Pod #370 last week we talked about how best to use tapping when contemplating or going through a divorce. This week I have a conversation with Melissa Beasley about abusive relationships. Between these two conversations you can see how hard it is to talk about relationships going badly. There is so much cultural and personal baggage around admitting that a relationship hasn't worked out. It becomes even more complicated when emotional and physical abuse is part of the equation. In this week's podcast Melissa Beasley and I talk about abusive and toxic relationships and cover: How to identify an abusive relationship (including why it is so difficult to identify a toxic relationship from the inside) The tools and tactics used by abusive partners Why people stay in abusive relationships The four stages of moving out of a toxic relationship and into a healthy post-relationship life Steps for getting out of a toxic relationship How to use tapping in all four stages of leaving a toxic relationship This is a resource that everyone needs to listen to. Here is a list of helpful resources if you find yourself in this situation: Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233 Domestic violence hotline website with tons of helpful info and a 24/7 chat: TheHotline.org Book: Why Does He Do That? By Lundy Bancroft Book: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans Book: BIFF - Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns by Bill Eddy. It's about how to communicate with high conflict people Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy Christian Book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernik Christian Book: Divorce and Remarriage in the Church by David Instone Brewer Christian Book: Give Her Wings: Help and Healing After Abuse by Megan Cox Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Melissa Beasley Contact: web @ MelissaDawnBeasley.com; web @ LoveEssentialSkinCare.com; facebook @Love Essential Skin Care; Instagram @loveessentialskincare About: Melissa is a natural skincare formulator and manufacturer. She started making skincare in her parents' kitchen as a way to support herself and her two boys after her divorce. She still manufactures her products for her own brand Love-Essential Skin Care, and she creates custom product lines for spas, salons and natural product companies. Melissa now uses the skills and knowledge she learned while growing her skincare business to help other moms create and grow their own businesses. She understands the unique challenges that mothers, and especially single mothers, face when trying to grow a business and helps them navigate those challenges so they can have a successful business without giving up their sanity or time with their precious babies. EFT was one of Melissa's most important tools when recovering from her divorce and growing Love-Essential Skin Care and is instrumental in helping her clients.
Support the podcast! Divorce is a tricky subject. One one level there is all the cultural pressure to find a way of making a success of a struggling relationship. On the other, there is the desire to keep yourself happy and healthy by ending a relationship that is no longer working. Because of these opposing desires, figuring out a divorce is seldom straightforward. This week I have a conversation with Kate Anthony, a coach and the author of the "Divorce Survival Guide". We talk about the emotions that come up with considering divorce: What will happen to my kids and how can I support them emotionally? How is it going to work out financially on my own? Isn't there one more thing I should try? How will my friends and family react if I get divorced? How will I face my faith community if I get divorced? What if I am just over reacting to something that could be fixed? If you are in an unfulfilling relationship, this is the perfect starting point to start sorting out (and tapping for) your emotions. ALSO, if you know someone who is going through difficulties in their relationship, this conversation will give you ideas for a starting point to asking them thoughtful questions and how to be emotionally support in such a difficult time. Subscribe in: Apple | iPhone | Android | Google | Spotify Guest: Kate Anthony Contact: web @ KateAnthony.com; facebook @ CoachKateAnthony; instagram @thedivorcesurvivalguide About: Kate Anthony is a certified life coach who helps women decide if they should stay in or leave their marriages and then guides them through the divorce process should they choose to leave. Kate empowers women to find their strength, passion, and confidence, even in the most disempowering of circumstances and helps them move forward with concrete plans, putting their children at the center (not in the middle) of all decisions. In addition to her certification, Kate has also trained as a relationship coach and is an expert in communication, co-parenting, and emotional intelligence.
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