Teen Creeps

This week Kelly and Katai read ROYAL DIARIES: CLEOPATRA VII, DAUGHTER OF THE NILE by Kristina Gregory, the touching story of Cleopatra when she was apparently at her most boring. They talk never choosing a Pilgrim-ass bitch, getting turned around which Ptolemy is which, Marc Antony being a perv, being pro-Christ pre-Christ, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read WHAT HOLLY HEARD by R.L. Stine, the touching story of a school gossip who gets killed for something totally unrelated to her gossiping. They talk hating your friends, sentimental hammers, wild hamsters, eclipses aka little C's, how to recognize one another's clones, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read THE BAD SEED by William March, the touching story of a homicidal sociopath who happens to be a nine-year-old girl with Heidi braids. They talk distant narrators, creepy girls, Christine taking forever to decide shit, hating Leroy, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read THE SILVER KISS by Annette Curtis Klause, the actually touching story of a girl who falls in love with a beautiful vampire boy while losing her mom to cancer. They talk loving the book, Simon's dorky first person narrative, giving teen problems their due, cry about a cat, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Sweet Valley High Correspondent and America's Sweetheart, Ryan Mogge, to talk SWEET VALLEY HIGH #110: DEATH THREAT by Kate William. They talk A+ side plots, Jessica being a waste of Wakefield DNA, lack of ghostwriter communication, Jeremy being a creeper, failed Bruce as Porsche AI, Todd's Hitler 'stache, and more! Thank you to https://sixteenandperfectforever.wordpress.com/ for the recaps Failed Bruce AI: https://getimg.ai/img/img-ui2qHwgOVbBmMRM30RmY0 https://getimg.ai/img/img-OkPDmIMAqvm13E8p6Zj4e SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai are joined by Teen Creeps Lo Dunc Correspondent and the handsomest Lo Dunc boy, Patrick Ehlers (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Sourcebook, Nintendo Cartridge Society) to discuss maybe the all-time worst entry in the Lo Dunc Verse, DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU, the story of the stupidest little idiot ever to enter into witness protection. They talk Lois Duncan writing her biases, Mommy Sues, THE LETTER (RIP Jim), accepting mediocrity, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read THE VAMPIRE DIARIES #1: THE AWAKENING by L.J. Smith, the story of two vampire brothers and the human girl who definitely only loves one of them. They talk missing Night World, Katherine's psychotic thruple or die ultimatum, how vampires need to stop enrolling in high school, debate a Dear Prudence letter that it turns out Katai largely misremembered, and do their very best German and Italian accents. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read surprise gem WHEN NO ONE WAS LOOKING by Rosemary Wells, the story of a rising teen tennis star who questions everything when a rival drowns. They talk being happy with your hobby, toxic sports parents, classism, embodying white noise, and how Oliver English needs to get his own fucking life. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read the middle grade classic WAIT TILL HELEN COMES by Mary Downing Hahn. They talk hating Heather even now, Dave being the absolute fucking worst, feeling for Helen, classic covers, and did they mention Dave fucking sucks? SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read SATI by Christopher Pike, the story of a blonde white woman who claims to be God and makes really good shortbread cookies. They talk meditation, the Love Has Won cult, God's terrible bedside manner, loving a small story, and reveal how little they know about the Dalai Lama. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Valentine’s Day! This week Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps Film Correspondent/ray of light Oscar Montoya (Minx, Eurovangelists) to discuss 1981’s “My Bloody Valentine.” They talk loving Hollis, the travesty of 3D, juicy jeaned men, the joys of being a miner, who deserves a musical comeback, and Katai has not one but two mom-brain moments. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kelly and Katai welcome back Teen Creeps All-Star Nick Wiger (Doughboys, Get Played) to talk about “Almost Lost: The True Story of An Anonymous Teenager's Life on the Streets,” another supposed Beatrice Sparks PhD “true story” that has them at their wits’ end. They talk unbelievable teen speak, irresponsible library cataloging, gangsta rap Satanism, Wooly Willy vs. Jesus, “therapy” that reads like fanfic, POS’ ‘TUDES, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Nightmare Hall: Book of Horrors" by Diane Hoh, the story of a girl who gets a job with her favorite author and homicidal son. They talk hating your friends, Reed being basic af, getting attacked by birds, loving the villain's end speech, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "The Bearwood Witch" by Susan Price, the story of a girl, a witch, and the born again dweeb trying to save them both. They talk prideful witches, delightfully gross scenes, identity, and whether or not the universe has a moral arc. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Hit and Run" by R.L. Stine, the story of a boy who takes a corpse prank just a smidge too far. They talk hating your friends, hating your crush, hating Winks, our number one busiest corpse, pity versus empathy, sleepwalking, cookin', and BRANDT TINKERS. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Look for Me By Moonlight" by Mary Downing Hahn and ask the question, "Who's worse, the vampire or the divorced dad?" They talk abuse analogs, hating Jeff, old losers, relationship regrets, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free and video versions of our episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://discord.com/invite/FYp4QNhruE https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang, the story of a white woman who steals her dead Asian friend's unpublished manuscript and is somehow surprised when she gets canceled. They talk online dread, the generational trauma of being racist, being unable to access greatness, and DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE, DISCOURSE. SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Slay Bells" by Jo Gibson, the story of a bunch of drips in a mall getting killed by an evil Drip Santa. They talk the need for gentle bullying, being obsessed with your drip grandparents, hat on a hat killer motivation, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Natural Beauty" by Ling Ling Huang, the story of a piano prodigy who gets tricked into working at evil Goop. They talk slight sci-fi, second generation experiences, poor Helen, sad grandma dreams, the biology of hair vomit, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Kelly and Katai read "Missing Since Monday" by Ann M. Martin, the story of a girl whose mom kidnaps her sister. Oops! They talk Folgers Christmas siblings-level sexual tension, highly productive teens, hating Brad, slashed up bodies, fights with narcissists, and more! SUBSCRIBE TO THE TEEN CREEPS PATREON to get ad free episodes, bonus episodes, merch, and more: https://www.patreon.com/teencreeps CONNECT W/ TEEN CREEPS: https://twitter.com/teencreepspod https://www.instagram.com/teencreepspod https://www.facebook.com/teencreepspod BUY TEEN CREEPS MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-creeps TEEN CREEPS IS A FOREVER DOG PODCAST https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/teen-creeps *All creepy opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices