Claim OwnershipTell Me How You're Mighty: Real Talk About Cheating
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Real talk about cheating, delivered by friends who get it. Your hosts are Tracy Schorn, aka Chump Lady who runs the advice site ChumpLady.com, and Sarah Gorrell, a BBC radio journalist and mighty single mum of four. We talk with resilient people who survived infidelity and to experts about cheaters, relationships, parenting, and, of course, mightiness. Sarah brings the dulcet tones. Tracy brings the snark. New episodes every week.
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We asked listeners -- what random act of kindness moved you after you were chumped? Tracy tells about her mysterious breakfast benefactor and Sarah shares a story about the time her car broke down. We hear about infidelity angels and kind strangers who appeared at just the right time with encouragement and support. A departure from the usual look at bad actors, this week we celebrate good people.
Tracy and Sarah answer your letters including one from a woman who discovered her husband was telling people online that she was dead and referred to another woman and their child as "wife and daughter." Is this a game to him? Is he cheating? Or is this guy a sociopath? Another listener wonders what chumps would do differently if they knew about the cheating sooner.
Welcome to a special Valentine's Day edition of Tell Me How You're Mighty! Sarah and Tracy discuss our worst Valentine's Days, smug coupledom, and a shared hatred of carnations. We read submissions from the Infidelity Valentine's poetry contest, where cheaters are immortalized in verse. (One submission is even a punk rock song.)
Sarah and Tracy respond to a recent Chump Lady post "10 Questions to Ask Your Unfaitfhul Spouse." Unlike a reconciliation article, these are actual questions you should ask, but will probably not get an honest answer to. "Do you buy sex?" "Did you use protection?" and "Did anyone get pregnant?" are a few we cover. We also celebrate a story of mightiness this week from a chump who went into business for herself.
Shani Silver, TikToker, author of a Single Revolution, and the podcast A Single Serving, is a unique voice of support, shedding the societal shame around singlehood. With Sarah and Tracy, she gives a snarky take down of dating culture, the misogyny of "He's Just Not That Into You," and the cringiest thing anyone has ever said to her about being single. She also reacts to the FW of the Week -- an ex-boyfriend who demanded last year's Christmas present back.
Chump Nation came up in an NPR discussion about how to define cheating. Unfortunately, the commentators seemed to have no lived experience or deep sunk costs with a cheater. The conversation centered on rejections like your boyfriend making out with someone else. Guest host Jenny the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy defend the position that infidelity is a form of abuse and debunk the romanticism of cheating. You can hear the original discussion at NPR here: What Really Counts As Cheating?
What happens when you discover your teen or adult child has been cheated on? Do your kids navigate this better if you modeled good boundaries? Or is the chump condition heriditary? In this episode, Sarah discusses how her daughter Jess reacted when she discovered her boyfriend acting shady. The Universal Bullshit Translator makes its first podcast appearance as it digests Jess's boyfriend's waffly, lame excuses.
1Sarah and Tracy hear from listeners about how their cheaters' affairs were exposed. (None of them by Jumbotron, alas.) Some affair partners outed the relationships to win the pick-me dance. In other cases, technology mishaps led to discovery. (Why don't these people learn how devices synch?) It's painful however you find out, but it's better to know than waster another minute being duped.
Guest cohost Jenny aka The Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy discuss the Bezo wedding extravangaza and what happens when affair partners marry. We hear from listeners about Schmoopie nupitals and what marriage means to the monogamy challenged.
It's the biggest cheating scandal of the year -- former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron and his subordinate HR Chief Kristin Cabot caught mid-canoodle by a Jumbotron "kiss cam." The world is reveling in schadenfreude, but what does it mean to the chumped? Vindication? A beautiful accountability fantasy come true? Sympathy for the kids involved? We hear from listeners about their feelings on the Jumbotron story and why cheater ridicule is having a moment.
Guest co-host Jenny aka the Happy Hausfrau blogger and Tracy snark about the guy who proposed marriage to his ChatGPT girlfriend, but not his live-in girlfriend and mother of his child. Are ChatGPT paramours the new frontier in AI cheating? How narcissistic is it to have a programmable girlfriend?
You never know what kind of reaction you'll get when you confront a cheater. On the one hand are the stone cold freaks with no adaptive anxiety. They lean into their lies and never break a sweat. Even in the face of hard evidence. Alternatively, are the cheaters who completely lose their composure. To the guy who had a meltdown and hopped away in a sleeping bag, to others who feign psychiatric crises. In this episode we hear about your cheaters' craziest reactions to being busted.
Besides the cheating, what else didn't you know about? Listeners tell us the details of their cheaters double lives beyond the sex. The missing monies. The hooker habit. An entire other family. Where there's one secret, you may find others.
In this episode Tracy gives her take on the news that Dave Grohl and his wife Jordyn Blum have decided to reconcile. While Grohl simultaneously has committed himself to being a "hands on" father with his daughter by his affair partner. Could we please change the discourse that single parents aren't family enough? And stop the assumption that everyone needs the FW in their lives? Just cash the check and live your own life.
Tracy and Sarah respond to a listener's dilemma about her husband. He's cheating with men, but swears he's not gay. She's trying to get him into sex addiction therapy. Also, a Fuckwit of the Week submission -- exotic vacations discoveries to which you weren't invited.
In this episode, we react to an atrocious column in the New York Times by therapist Lori Gottlieb, where a woman asks if she should be honest with her children about their father's cheating and the resulting divorce. Gottlieb shames the woman for even considering speaking of her betrayal and defers to the man's narrative instead. (You drove him to it.) Sarah and Tracy weigh in.
Did you thwart a cheater's happiness? Are you the obstacle to their greatness? In this episode Tracy and Sarah explore stupid cheater life plans. The grass is always greener on the other side of whatever they committed to. Including you. Listeners share the impulsive schemes and dreams, the alpaca farm, the missionary job that wasn't, and the lost opportunity to be a kiteboarder.
If you just discovered your partner cheating, chances are you got some common reconciliaton advice like "Wait 6 months before you make a decision." Or "Don't tell anyone." Or moronic warnings about "affair fog." (They know not what they do! Maybe if you wait patiently they'll return to you and it will Make Your Marriage Stronger!) In this episode, listeners tell us the worst, victim-blaming, nonsensical advice they got after D-Day.
In this re-edited interview, we talk with trauma specialist Diane Strickland and creator of the site yourstoryissafehere.com about sex addiction and partners being labeled "codependent." Why women are shamed for their anger. And much more.
In this re-edited version of an earlier recording, Sarah and Tracy spoke with Dr. Omar Minwalla, a therapist who is known for his work "The Secret Sexual Basement." He sees infidelity as abusive and a sexual deception problem, which makes him something of an outlier in the therapy community. We talk about his model, infidelity as abuse, and how to change the narrative with mental health professionals.
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