Thanks, it's my lola's!

When foiled hopes & dreams equal wasted youth, Cara, Bon & Miles typify the failure. Cara wanted to become a ninja/assassin who drives a porsche but pays her taxes, Miles an airline pilot, and Bon, well, a dolphin. Cara can still be an assassin with further training and weight loss, Miles can still be a pilot if he has his eyes lasiked, but Bon can never become a dolphin. Something about evolution. Our friends theorize that Hong Kong used to be part of Bangaea and make dolphin-monkey sounds, but the coffee shop security guard chases them away. Because in Manila security guards carry pre-WW2 rifles, they run for their lives. "Drifting" is a song from Miles' first record "Eclectic Sanchez" released last year. Maybe the record bars still have it, maybe they don't. We can't put it up for download on Myspace though, because of label contracts and selfish things like those.

Miles talks on Podcasting as a Teaching (in TIML's case, a Garbage-making) Tool in Dr. Lazaro's Radio Techniques Class at the College of Arts and Letters in The University of The Philippines. This episode is intentionally made of shout-outs because Miles talks way too much about way too many touchy issues and utilizes way too many copyrighted materials that editing this podcast would yield you the same exact podcast. Hopefully, more curiosity and creativity are sparked in this medium of alternative communication, so that more people will podcast, making more virtual garbage. We don't know what to write in this line so, um, free the internet?

And by doing that, he just came out. At Chili's. Along Morato. In Quezon City. No red carpet and parade music? Cara, Miles and Bon eat Chili's Crispy Calamari Putanesca Pasta and New Zealand Mussels. Miles complains about the bill and that his mussels are "freshish" at best, but is distracted by Bon's challenge to name pastries. Contenders are "Rainbow Pie", "Chocolate Tea Somethings", "Crinkles Crinkles Shining", "Sunshine Smile Cake", and "Happy Happy Shiny Faces". Cara makes fun of Philippine education, while Bon believes English literacy in the country is 99%. Wow. That's just crazy! Which part of the Philippines did he study in? London? No featured music this time because this is the longest podcast we've ever come up with. We cut and edited this episode like John Wayne Gacy, but Bon and his headache went overtime. We love him when he has a headache because he is five notches funnier than his already funny self, and he tends to come out.

Miles prepares Mexican food for everybody while Josie Flawless a.k.a. Krixie Ledesma graces this episode. Because wine abounds, somebody inevitably spills it all over everybody's taco plates. But the conversation becomes more and more interesting as Krixie gives us a blow by blow (!) account of his/her online encounters--from the first step of chatting with a straight guy, to the "attaching" of his/her hand onto this guy's body parts. Josie, in itself, is not his/her real name. Because Josie actually has a real job, we thought of resizing his/her pictures so that you won't be able to recognize his/her face. And, we also masked a couple of names in the podcast because we don't want to get sued by famous people. Or be challenged to a basketball match. Yes, Krixie's been around, including, quite possibly, you or someone you know. Bon, Margaret, Miles, and Cara dissect Josie's secrets in the hopes that they'd be able to bed more guys in the future. Tara provides ambient noise. We feature another Miles original, "I Want", which will never see the light of day. If you listen to it and you still don't know why, you're probably better off as a cardboard box. August 5 is our first monthsary. We have a surprise for y'all! Just keep on emailing us at thanksitsmylolas@gmail.com

Usapang Lasing = Drunken Conversations Who says straight and gay guys can't drink together without getting someone offended, harassed, or beaten up? Bon, Miles, and Cara join friends at Cafe Baresto along Kamuning Avenue, to celebrate the departure of Typhoon Glenda and Bon's mid-year birthday (whatever that means). With respected stage, film and TV actors Mario Magallona & Neil Sese, Production Designer Edwin Serrano, Lighting Designer Luther Gumia, and sidekick/UPTC president Miss Hazel, they gather round a table the old school way--by the street with countless bottles of beer. With enough alcohol in their bloodstream, our friendly neighborhood losers find a hard time maintaining the conversation in English, flip-flopping between Tagalog and English much like the direction of a typical tropical thunderstorm (and a very famous Democrat let-down). Edwin comes out by confessing he moonlights as an English teacher from The Ateneo, De La Salle, and the British Council. Because Edwin apparently has the best command in the language, the gang naturally jumps him and devours his style. But who triumphs in the end? For more silliness, laughter, and isolated--very isolated--spurts of wit, listen on and find out. Please keep on emailing us at thanksitsmylolas@gmail.com and let us know what you think, who you want to listen to, and what you want us to do to make your commute more pleasurable. Don't ask us to interview Mr. Spock from Star Trek because we don't have the geographical means to do that. To the good emailers, thanks so much, we promise to keep it real and to never go hoity-toity. To the bad emailers, we promise to not give a flying F*^$%k! To the non-Tagalog speakers (who comprise 80% of our listeners), we promise to keep speaking the best English our post-post-colonial education can muster as long as you keep your minds equally open. Yay!

Because we spend approximately a fourth of our lifetime eating, Miles and Cara consume baklava and a veggie curry sampler with names ridiculously impossible to pronounce at Ziggurat on the corner of Tigris and Euphrates streets in Makati. We are so not kidding! We don't know if they named the restaurant Ziggurat because of it's location, or if they renamed the streets so that the restaurant would be "cradled", or if they built the streets around the restaurant. This is the Philippines after all. Your money (especially OPEC currencies like Dinars) will do miracles of religious proportions. While a Malaysian TV crew films a travel special at Ziggurat , Miles and Cara contribute to the challenges of the TV sound guy by talking and laughing really loud, and interviewing one of the Malaysian guys approximately two feet away from the camera crew. Ozzry (above), is from Malaysia who goes to uni in Sydney. He's on holiday and seems to be enjoying the touristy fare of Embassy and Prince of Jaipur. Nothing much is known about Ozzry except that this is not the real spelling of his name, he's painfully cute, and that he likes to photograph things. We assume he doesn't have much friends because he's not used to shout outs. Or, he's so highly educated and wealthy that he has his scribe write his greetings on parchment and has these sent via homing pigeons. We're kidding and you're a good sport, Oz. Miles uses big words he could barely handle like prevalent and partake, and fails miserably in using the word aerodynamic. Cara is so enthused by the Med dessert called Baklava. You know why. "The Nana Song" is another original by Miles, and can be downloaded at www.myspace.com/milessanchez

Margaret Guzman is eating clam chowder at Cibo in Greenhills while she talks with her mouth full about her new film, "Mudraks." In between burps and slurps, Margszie explains why it's so hard not to fall in love with her leading lady, Rio Locsin. In a non-sexual way. Right. Bon asks very relevant questions like film color, mood, and why isn't Margaret kinder to the disabled, while Miles speaks too fast (again) because he feels he needs to get it all out between coughing sprees, and Cara interjects painful questions like, "Are you good?" Mudraks opens this week at the Cultural Center of The Philippines and will transfer to the UP Film Center in August. It stars Rio Locsin, Ricky Davao, Mario Magallona, Roxanne Barcelo and Tess Antonio. Mudraks is written and co-directed by Arah Badayos, and Miles Sanchez writes and performs the theme song in Cebuinglish. You can download the music at www.myspace.com/milessanchez

We find our obscure anti-heroes in one of the gazillion cafes of Starbucks in Manila as they whisper their disdain about commercialism and institution. Especially if the coffee costs an arm, a leg, and a left eye. Miles blabbers on about his dislike for impersonal chain stores, but keeps on coming back for more mocha frappuccino. Venti, please, because he is delusional and thinks it does not show around his waist (he insists on wearing a size 28 pair of jeans. Man, it's not pretty!) Cara thinks her excuse for not liking Starbucks is genuine. Their coffee makes her puke. We are then led to theorize that when they were building and wiring up Cara in the early eighties, they accidentally attached her caffeine gene to her gag reflex gene. But why is Starbucks so gay? Because it's green and all over town! We feature Miles' song, Trainwreck, which can be downloaded at www.myspace.com/milessanchez

Miles and Cara hang out at the Tambayan (Hang-out place-thing) in their old University, interviewing the UP Theater Council on their 13th anniversary, talk about trivial things like Cara's inability to just poop anywhere, sex (or absence thereof) among TC members, and picking up guys by shouting random names. If you're commuting to work, or waiting out heavy rain because you don't own a car and you would not be caught dead under a tasteless umbrella, you should be listening to this!

This is a teaser! You'll hear from us again next week, and we promise to get a real condenser mic.