The guys discuss how military grade clean sidewalks could be banned in this country at any time, how it only took 7” for an Indian man to capture a world record, and why towing cars and preventing stab wounds to the groin are most important when choosing the proper pants.
The guys discuss how office buildings in Norway have posted speed limits in the hallways, when spending $1,000,000 on a property still won’t get you a basement, and why a $400 loophole is guaranteed to destroy your German “warehouse”.
The guys discuss why a third comma is necessary to summon a genie, when a total disregard for your chestnuts can lead to championships, and how a magical pill can make chili night more romantic.
The guys discuss why an uncut whopper with mayo can get you arrested, when a $12 an hour career change means you’ll never be far from the beach, and how it’s entirely possible to fight an entire war on your lunch break.
The guys discuss why an unverified “Code 3” will get a hero banned from retail establishments, what the two most essential items to keep fresh in Tupperware are to properly welcome home a soldier from war, and when sleeping with the warden’s sister while coaching kids soccer can’t prevent a collect call from “My Bad”.
The guys discuss how and uncomfortable doctor undoubtedly ruined medicine for generations to come, when being sarcastically honest on a job application can super-size your career, and why an aggressive goldfish named Larry might never be found.
The guys discuss when extensive eye contact can destroy an entire restaurant, why it is imperative to list your address and full daily itinerary when attempting to find your lost house keys, and how 260 miles of tandem nudity is worth approximately $6,000.00 worth of self confidence.
The guys discuss why it’s so important to order your wedding album in paperback, how it’s not insulting to guess a woman’s age if you use a 20 year window, and when it’s necessary to specify what is NOT to be your eternal nickname before you die in a hole.
The guys discuss how autocorrect can totally impede an entire canine search party, why a bedazzled butter dish will totally clash with your leftover soufflé, and when a four egg omelette can cost a whopping $10,000.
The guys discuss how to Target the right sultry stuffed snowman for good time, why having one kidney and limited vacation days always results in a career change, and when ONE strike, ZERO balls, and well manicured neck beard makes you royalty.
The guys discuss why it's so important to hide your laughter when strange toddlers get injured, how landscapers cannot be held accountable to mow while they’re mourning, and when you cannot find an old person in a room full of 48 year old people.
The guys discuss when a notary is necessary to buy booze, why it’s plausible to get robbed by 3 out of every 4 people while on a spiritual retreat, and how Damon believes he could be the “king of the jungle” if given a fair fight.
The guys discuss exactly what is the best invention to keep your apples and frying pans from falling under your couch, how French business students can quench your thirst and yet still leave you sticky, and why a 2014 Hyundai Genesis guarantees you both a good time and a settlement.
The guys discuss how most panda cubs can be both discarded and delicious, when the child delivering a brand new moonstone rock to your door is not covered by the $4.00 purchase protection, and why it’s imperative that you take your bike with you to the top of Mt. Everest so you don’t have to walk back home to Sweden.
The guys discuss how to measure the bookcase-to-beer ratio properly while bartering, when porch pirating a big screen tv results in extreme frustration and disappointment unless you’re into cardio, and how the magic of four wheel drive has enabled the disabled to enjoy majestic views.
The guys discuss what cologne is the most dangerous to wear within 2,640 feet of big cats, how a SWAT Team souvenir is merely a down payment on a new front door, and why it’s necessary to cancel your flight when the pilot pulls up in Ford Focus.
The guys discuss when infidelity can turn deadly if you refuse to look up, how a slow friend is not to be used as a speed bump when running from a bear, and why an overworked robot who’s never invited to happy hour should be denied access to stairwells.
The guys discuss how according to Instagram it’s “nearly” impossible to fit two dozen contact lenses in your eyes, why a 30 minute bathroom break on your first day will result in a coworker kicking the door in, and when 17 cans of stolen Pringles and a getaway bike will get you a six month jail sentence.
The guys discuss why the proper sneaker/ski mask selection is so important while “working” naked, when “taking a bite out of crime” still doesn’t constitute owning a grenade launcher, and how “hump enhancement” all but guarantees your camel will be disqualified from competition.
The guys discuss when an expensive car accident necessitates canceling the family barbecue, why holding a horse above your head while looking a mile in both directions makes you irresistible to the ladies, and how mislabeled exercise equipment immediately becomes delicious to a koala bear.