That Checks Out
Enthusiastic Elbow Washing and A Two Dish Minimum
The guys discuss why you should always secure all penguins pre-flight, when changing altitudes all but guarantees a victory in bear racing, and how keeping your eggs and car keys in the same pocket of your wetsuit is a huge mistake.
Emotional Support Tigers and A Steaming Pile of Lotto Winnings
The guys discuss how staying in one room can greatly improve your memory, when a request for unwashed flatulence will result in fornication, and why most Egyptian tombs smell like Chicago style hotdogs.
“I love her so much, I’m gonna smack the dong right off of your torso…”
The guys discuss why alliteration was absolutely imperative during 18th century sexting, when an ear-piercing Hawk on a minibike is your best chance at exoneration, and how 4 1/2lbs of corned beef and several potatoes instantly becomes a single serving if not labeled properly.
Dong Village, High Calorie Humans, and A Lady Pocket
The guys discuss why insufficient adult relations can make for very stale sandwiches, when nailing down a toilet can save you approximately $6,000,000, and how orally inspecting orangutans can eliminate the need to change the locks.
Loose Scoops, Pomes, and The Golden Lego
The guys discuss how surviving a barrel plunge does not make you impervious to the power of citrus, when a stereotypical look guarantees you a full climax at the end of the rainbow, and why it is always better to encounter a single shark than a pod of dolphins.
Pizza Acreage, Third Degree Beans, and A Cockwomble
The guys discuss why having multiple snacks straddle your lap is no longer an issue, how Damon will definitely injure his hands attending German operas, and what are the only two acceptable instances to acknowledge a “final notice” warning.
Chimp Lunchroom Escapades and Magical Peanut Butter
The guys discuss what might possibly be the most disturbing way to “capture” a new roommate, when a perfectly arranged bedroom can guarantee foreign relations every night, and how the ending to every high speed chase in Germany may or may not result in a pant-less driver.
Anvil Wang and The “Stupid Deck” Parrots
The guys discuss why wearing two flashlights when jogging makes you more likely to be hit by a car, when an extra “I” can save you $13,000,000, and how a bronze penguin pecker doesn’t necessarily fit the decor of every room.
Ghetto Juice, Pit Diapers, and “The Fish is Back!!!”
The guys discuss why Italian vampires constantly over season their marinara, when five cents worth of banana will literally double your dessert profits, and how Persian Pizza is the only acceptable pre-war meal for the warrior not counting calories.
3-D(ong) Artwork and Steven Seagull
The guys discuss why you should NEVER share a communion wafer with Damon, when achieving proper feng shui requires placing the TC directly in the crevice, and how easily badgers can fill up when devouring an impressive hog.
Teat Speed and The Thinkin’ Bone
The guys discuss how a renaissance man could knock a soldier off a horse at 100 yards without using an arrow, why a ménage a trios with a Sasquatch will cost you your alimony, and when a 6 year old “farmer” cancelled Valentine’s Day for the entire school.
“Its like a potato gun only they’re nuggets and it’s my butthole!”
The guys discuss why you have to set your manager down to make eggs above Niagara Falls, when a sarcastically smiling moon only adds humor to an otherwise indescribable morning, and how there’s no copay for at home dentistry.
Cocaine Pigeons and South Mouths
The guys discuss how Polish anti-tank mines no longer come with directions, why even with Damon’s relentless questioning of the male anatomy he still cannot comprehend Bandaid wrappers, and when tranquilizing is NOT the worst thing you can do to an alligator.
A Sexy Sugar Cube and The Sad “Tug” Boat
The guys discuss how it’s just proper etiquette (and an excellent fighting strategy) to apologize prior to punching your wife in the knees and taking her sack of rocks, when being a whore can save you a trip to the grocery store, and why choosing the correct bathing suit is imperative when pulling 9Gs to keep all your teeth.
Life-Saving Windows and “Dragging the Knuck”
The guys discuss how garlic butter without mushrooms is not enough to justify homicide, why it’s necessary for goat costumes to be made of Kevlar during outdoor sexy time, and when Damon’s face nestled securely in your bosom is the key to safe travel.
VERY Adult Dodgeball and The Divorce Hotel
The guys discuss how whale milk can lead to a beautiful smile, when impersonating a ghost only delays the rescue mission, and why Damon believes voluntarily remaining poor the rest of his life is in his breast interest.
Hood Murals, Octopus Punches, and Battle Drugs
This is an episode of enlightenment for the guys as Ted discovers he’s going to be a father again, Damon discovers previously unexplored visual equipment, and Mac discovers Chuck AND Zack are indeed the very same person.
“If you’re gonna measure the bulge you gotta pull from the core!”
The discuss how long is “too long” to leave your baby unattended in a gas station freezer, when your van’s paint job is totally irrelevant once the mattress is both greasy AND wet, and why a Chinese person apparently wouldn’t name their fish Todd.
A $2.00 Prison Sentence and “GO GET ICE CREAM!!!”
The guys discuss why it’s always best to survey the husband after vacations to avoid negative feedback, how giving your heart is no longer the absolute best way to show your commitment to a relationship, and where you can take Damon for an entire weekend to roam amongst the people completely unfiltered.
Amber Nugget, Kidney Repo, and Customers First
The guys discuss what is quite possibly the best way to compliment strangers at the beach, how Belgian sand is apparently so much easier on flip flops, and why Damon believes the internet consists only of emails from his wife.
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