That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Getting on top of hoarding disorder isn’t about powering through in one big go. It’s all about slowing down, pacing ourselves, and making sure our approach is actually sustainable, both for our bodies and our minds. In this episode, I talk honestly about the risks of burnout and emotional overload when we try to rush the process, and why giving ourselves permission to work in small, manageable steps is key. I’ll share practical ways to set our own pace, spot the warning signs of pushing too hard, and celebrate the progress we make - even when it’s slower than we’d like. The Nature of Recovery from Hoarding Disorder Recovery isn’t a race or a sprint Pressure to fix things quickly—internal and external Debunking the ‘quick fix’ myth Importance of sustainability in recovery Physical Aspects of Dehoarding Physical tasks: sorting, organising, donating, recycling The relentless and exhausting nature of physical dehoarding Risks of pushing too hard: Physical exhaustion and injury Impact of chronic pain, health problems, disability Decision-making fatigue from exhaustion The danger of creating a more overwhelming mess Risks of Burnout Burnout as a consequence of overexertion Emotional impact: quitting, avoidance, dread Dehoarding becomes associated with pain and suffering Emotional Aspects of Pacing Unique emotional relationships with possessions Associations, memories, grief, nostalgia, identity Anxiety and emotional flooding in decision-making The consequences of pushing past emotional limits: Panic, anxiety, rumination Avoidance and procrastination Loss of confidence in decisions Swinging between extremes: keeping everything vs. discarding everything The Impact of Emotional Flooding Damaging relationship with recovery Recovery viewed as painful or traumatic Unrealistic expectations for overnight emotional change Persistence of difficult emotional patterns despite progress Non-Linear Nature of Progress Understanding setbacks and relapses as part of the process Importance of patience and realistic expectations The need to build new emotional and cognitive pathways over time Positive Signs of Emotional Progress Ability to sit with discomfort and uncertainty Recognising and managing patterns and triggers Gradual increase in resilience and emotional tolerance Recognising Gradual Physical and Emotional Recovery Improved recovery time after difficult sessions Growing confidence in handling challenges Learning that healing and progress are not linear Practical Approaches to Pacing Time-based strategies: Working in manageable time chunks Scheduling regular breaks and days off Focusing on sustainable, consistent sessions over marathons Decision-based strategies: Limiting the number of decisions per session Identifying easier vs. harder tasks or categories Quick wins to boost motivation Checking in with oneself physically and emotionally during work Building in soothing or rewarding activities post-session Signs of Sustainable Pacing Completing sessions feeling tired but not destroyed Feeling able to return for future sessions without dread Making decisions that feel good in retrospect Enjoyment and pride in gradually improving one’s space Adapting Pace to Life Circumstances Pace varies with health, mood, season, responsibilities Finding what works for the individual and the current season of life Compassionate Recovery The importance of self-compassion in setting and respecting limits Celebrating progress and honouring our human experience Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  On this episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our possessions connect with our sense of identity and self-concept, and why letting go can feel so threatening for those of us who hoard. We talk through how objects hold meaning, memories, and dreams for the future, and what it looks like to build a stronger sense of self without clinging to things. If you’ve ever felt like discarding something meant losing a part of yourself, you definitely want to listen to this one. We break down exactly why that fear happens and where to start. A plant pot associated with negative experiences. Discussion of emotional and aesthetic reasons for keeping vs. discarding. Objects “glowering" at us. Identity and Self-Concept in Hoarding Definition of identity and self-concept. Possessions and Sense of Identity The psychological process of possessions intertwining with identity. How this differs from typical sentimental attachment. Retention itself (rather than use or display) as a meaning-making act in hoarding. The difference between identity (roles, characteristics, life story) and self-concept (beliefs about self, worth, and abilities). Typical patterns seen in people with hoarding disorder: fragmented identity, externalised identity via objects. Psychological Fusion Between Identity and Possessions The concept of "identity objects" — how discarding items feels like losing part of oneself. Objects as external proof and storage for identity, memory, and meaning. Safety of objects over human relationships. The cycle of validation and shame in hoarding. Pathways to Possession-Identity Fusion Childhood experiences and boundary violations leading to control needs. Identity confusion and external markers for self-definition. Psychological ownership: objects as self-extension. Functions of retained objects—proof of past, present, and future self. Anthropomorphism and obligations to objects. Executive function challenges: objects as external memory aids. Perfectionism and fantasy identity protection. Influence of cultural materialism and marketing. The Fear of Losing Identity When Discarding Objects "Throwing away part of myself." Three psychological routes for ownership: control, intimate knowledge, and personal investment. The role of control and avoidance of uncertainty. The painful admission of poor judgment (e.g., unworn clothing) when discarding. Possessions as Identity Markers Retaining items from past roles (retired teachers, old job materials). Holding onto objects representing hopes for future identity. Objects as evidence for important life chapters, relationships, or personal history. Psychological needs these objects serve and when that becomes problematic. Books as Proof of Intellectual Identity Discussion of books held as evidence of being intellectual, regardless of actual reading. Exploration of how objects can become substitutes for action and risk. Therapeutic approach to shifting identity building from possession to action. Community and Connection in the Hoarding Journey The loneliness and isolation frequently felt by people who hoard. The importance of community, connection, and peer support, including podcast listeners and accountability sessions. Effects of increased openness and connection on identity. Identity Shifts During Dehoarding and Recovery Changes in identity during the process of recovery and letting go. Building new narratives — sometimes research or recovery itself becomes an identity. Increased connection and belonging through shared experience and vulnerability. Maintaining Identity Without Excessive Possession Strategies for building identity through actions, creativity, and lived experience. Selecting representative or truly meaningful items rather than keeping everything. Observing how "non-hoarding" individuals make decisions about sentimental items. Discomfort and growth opportunities in sharing one's journey while still in progress. The value of authenticity and vulnerability. First Steps for Listeners Fearing Loss of Self Through Discarding Acknowledging that fear is rational and understandable. Suggesting mindful observation of attachment thoughts. Testing beliefs by gentle action, e.g., creative tasks with what is already available. Finding supportive people for accountability and encouragement. Reflective work on personal values — building identity from the inside. Reassurance that identity predates possessions and is not dependent on them. Objects as scaffolding rather than the core of one’s identity. Encouragement to trust oneself and to start building stability from within. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  If you’re facing the frustration of knowing where your things belong but just can’t access your shelves or cupboards because there’s too much in the way, this episode is for you. I break down why piling things up with good intentions doesn’t actually solve anything, why decluttering comes before organising, and share honest strategies for making actual progress when your home feels overwhelming. Barriers to Organising Due to Inaccessible Shelves E.g. wanting to keep clothes but can’t access the wardrobe Emotional impact: frustration and the cycle of blocked organisation Layers and spread of clutter that block storage areas The Vicious Cycle of Clutter and Organisation How inaccessible shelves lead to piles that further compound the problem The emotional fallout: self-blame and shame Reframing the struggle as a symptom of hoarding disorder’s progression, not personal failure Coping Strategies & Common Pitfalls Temporary solutions (bags/boxes for items meant for inaccessible areas) and associated risks (forgetting what’s inside) The “out of sight, out of mind” issue Overestimating the capacity of designated spaces for stored items Imperfect Progress and Starting Where You Are Importance of starting without perfect access or planning Emotional and practical aspects of starting with what’s immediately available The danger of over-planning and the value of taking imperfect action Building Momentum: Small Steps and Accessibility Clearing even small spaces leads to broader clearing efforts How minor improvements enable further progress Core Issue: Volume Over Organisation Identifying excessive possessions as the root problem, not lack of organisation Emphasis that organising without decluttering only rearranges clutter Professional advice: dehoarding and decluttering must come before organising The Trap of Reorganisation Without Decluttering The concept of “churn”—moving items around versus actual removal How adding more storage increases clutter, not solves it Real progress comes from discarding items and opening spaces Regaining Access and Realistic Organisation Regaining access to storage areas requires reducing overall volume Setting realistic expectations for what storage spaces can hold Organising solutions are secondary to decluttering Practical Strategies for Decluttering Picking a strategic spot or simply starting wherever you are Focusing efforts (entrances, exits, specific goals, categories) Opening neglected bags/boxes and revealing new priorities Breaking down overwhelming tasks and celebrating small wins Safety Considerations Avoiding dangerous physical manoeuvres to reach blocked areas Importance of asking for help and maintaining physical safety Mindset and Momentum Recognising and celebrating progress, no matter the size Positive reinforcement to build motivation for ongoing decluttering The Hard Truth: Volume Reduction is Essential Acknowledging that reaching shelves requires lowering the overall volume Practical details (where to put items temporarily) less important than reducing quantity Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  In this episode, I talk about the idea of "acting as if" - taking action before you fully believe you can, and using that to chip away at compulsive hoarding behaviours. I share stories from my own life, including how channelling others’ confidence helped me move through paralysing shyness, and how small steps can help shift thinking around possessions and habits. It’s all about behaving your way to progress, even when your feelings haven’t caught up yet. Listen in to find out more, including how to go about it without burning out or being retraumatised. Introduction to "Acting As If" Explanation of the “acting as if” concept: taking action before you truly believe in it Shyness in childhood, learning to appreciate autumn) Psychological Basis for "Acting As If" Theory that action creates motivation Contrast with waiting for motivation or readiness Clarification: distinction from toxic positivity Application to Hoarding Disorder Connection between repeated cycles and hoarding behaviour How new actions create evidence and lead to belief changes Importance of breaking cycles of hoarding through behaviour change Practical Strategies for Acting As If Imagining how another person (someone without hoarding disorder) would act Acting as if items are already gone to help with psychological closure Acting as if you trust the process or expert advice Acting as if you deserve a nicer home and greater self-worth Acting as if letting go of items won’t be as painful as feared Acting as if you can tolerate discomfort Common Obstacles and Challenges Feeling like a fraud or being inauthentic New actions feeling unnatural Comparison to physiotherapy exercises: discomfort as a sign of change Intensification of difficult feelings and memories Panic, grief, anger, fear Navigating emotional responses and learning from them Separating intense emotions from actual danger Distinguishing between productive discomfort and harmful pushing Productive discomfort vs. burnout or retraumatisation Importance of support and learning moderation Slipping up after success with “acting as if” Giving yourself permission to start again Using setbacks as data, not failure Benefits of Acting As If Reduction of analysis paralysis and cognitive overload Achieving small wins and momentum Disproving fears through new evidence Gradual adaptation of beliefs and feelings to new behaviours Brain’s capacity to notice new patterns and adapt Tips and Encouragement for Trying “Acting As If” Suggests listeners identify one area to test acting as if Reassurance that belief is not required to begin Details about the Chirp Your Home decluttering course Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  I am full of germs and even huskier than usual, so this week, enjoy this fascinating conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall, where we talk about hoarding disorder vs Diogenes syndrome vs squalor vs disposophobia vs syllogomania vs Plyushkin Syndrome vs Havisham Syndrome! Phew! You can get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-116-hoarding-vs-squalor-vs-diogenes-syndrome-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/ 

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Many of us hoard because we believe we’re making ourselves ready for anything life throws at us, but the reality is that no amount of “just in case” clutter can truly prepare us for every scenario. In this episode, I break down the myth of preparedness, explore how hoarding can actually make us less equipped for real emergencies, and talk about why resourcefulness matters much more than having piles of stuff. The Myth of Being Prepared for Every Eventuality Exploration of the comforting idea behind keeping possessions to be “ready” for anything. Recognition that life is unpredictable and impossible to fully prepare for. Infinite Possibilities vs. Realities Discussion of how each item is kept for imagined infinite scenarios. The logical impossibility of keeping items for every scenario (need for infinite space and money). Emotional and anxiety-driven decision-making despite logical understanding. Specificity of Items and Mismatched Preparation Example of items with specific uses that don’t match actual needs when situations arise. The paradox of saving more items not solving the mismatch issue. Emphasis that saving more increases clutter but doesn’t increase preparedness. Sensible Preparation vs. Over-Preparation Differentiation between healthy, reasonable preparation (e.g., first aid kit) and hoarding excess. The importance of context when deciding what to keep. The Role of Resourcefulness Real-life anecdotes (tampon as nosebleed fix, ballpoint pen tracheotomy) illustrating resourcefulness over mere possession. Recognition of creativity and adaptability as coping strategies. Importance of improvisation and problem-solving in handling emergencies. Asking for Help and Community Support Discussion of the difficulty and value in seeking help from others. Mention of the podcast’s accountability sessions as a supportive community resource. Irony of Over-Preparedness: How Hoarding Reduces Actual Preparedness Analysis of how clutter inhibits effective response to emergencies (e.g., inability to locate items, blocked exits). Emotional and mental burden caused by excessive possessions. Emotional Drivers of Hoarding and Over-Preparedness Exploration of the underlying anxieties and emotional needs that drive hoarding. Misconception that acquiring more will eventually soothe anxiety. Discussion about the lack of true satisfaction or security from excessive possessions. The Illusion of Vindication Occasional moments when a hoarded item becomes useful, creating a sense of justification. Cost-benefit analysis: space, annoyance, energy, and opportunity cost versus occasional convenience. Distinguishing Between Convenience and Necessity Recognition that the vast majority of saved items are never useful. Importance of resourcefulness and adaptability over keeping every possible item. Everyday Adaptation and Coping Examples of daily improvisation and making do (e.g., using coins as screwdrivers, managing without umbrellas). Emphasis on resilience and ability to cope with small inconveniences. The Trap of Occasional Justification Analogy to gambling: occasional “wins” reinforce maladaptive habits. Warning against letting rare vindications justify continued hoarding. Embracing “Good Enough” and Trusting Future Capabilities Acceptance that total preparedness is impossible. Focus on nourishment, present needs, and trusting future resilience and creativity. The freeing power of letting go of the need for complete preparedness. True security and preparedness come from adaptability and trust, not material accumulation. Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  This week, let's revisit a brilliant conversation I had with money coach Paige Pritchard all about overspending, compulsive shopping, and resisting the urge to binge buy.  Get the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-127-overcoming-overspending-with-paige-pritchard-money-coach/ 

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Reflecting on the journey from my terrified first recording to episode 200, I am talking today how speaking out brought connection, understanding, and a community I never thought possible. This episode is a letter to my past self, and it’s also to you. It’s honest about what’s changed, what’s still hard, and the unexpected power of not being alone. If you’re struggling too, know you’re part of something bigger here. Letter to Episode One Self Emotional state during the podcast's inception (fear, isolation, shame) Misconceptions about being alone with hoarding disorder The unexpected journey and growth started by publishing the first episode Early Understanding of Hoarding Disorder Lack of knowledge about hoarding at the start Pain of isolation and confusion Limited exposure to terminology, research, and causes Learning and Personal Growth Through the Podcast Gained understanding about the science and psychology of hoarding Insight into links with trauma, grief, ADHD, autism, and anxiety Struggles and gradual improvements in managing inner critic Realities of Recovery No “quick fix” for hoarding disorder; non-linear progress Importance of learning Learning to discuss hard issues before they are resolved Building a Community Realisation of not being alone — over 400,000 plays Listeners’ responses and the impact of shared stories The growth of a supportive community, accountability calls, and new friendships Challenging Shame and Secrecy Confronting and gradually reducing shame through connection The belief that shame was deserved begins to change Disclosure of hoarding disorder to three real-life people and their supportive reactions Helping Others Through Honest Sharing Helps others feel less alone Listeners gain courage, understanding, and the will to seek help Gained Wisdom & Tools Increased confidence, self-trust, and knowledge Action, however small, is key to progress Understanding that worth is not tied to cleanliness or orderliness Recognition that recovery is more than just decluttering Accepting Ongoing Struggles Open acknowledgment that challenges persist Emphasis on wisdom and resilience, not just results Evolution as a Podcaster Recognition of the podcast’s impact on the host and the community Gratitude for guests and listeners Encouragement to continue the journey, highlighting non-linearity and hope Thanking podcast guests Appreciation for both long-time and new listeners Links Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here  

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Hoarding is far more complicated than just clutter - there are layers upon layers, from the visible stacks of possessions to the hidden emotional weight, old identities, and tangled feelings of shame and secrecy. In this episode, I talk through what these layers actually look like, why they make healing and recovery so tough, and how recognising them can help us start to move forward. It’s about giving an honest look at how hoarding really is, and offering a bit of encouragement and understanding for anyone living with it. Layers in Hoarding Disorder Explanation of the concept of "layers" Recognition of complexity in hoarding and recovery Importance of understanding layers for self-awareness and change Physical Layers of Stuff Sorting belongings as an “archaeological dig” Stories and histories attached to different layers of possessions Practical observations about layers: Top layer: Most recent or most-used items Middle layers: Mixture of older and neglected items, representing different life periods Bottom layers: Emotionally complex, broken, or “buried” items How physical layers inform decluttering decisions Emotional Layers in Hoarding Surface emotions: annoyance, sadness, irritability Deeper emotions: anxiety, fear of making wrong choices Core emotions: grief, trauma, feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy Guilt, anger, disappointment, and how these mix together The idea of layering additional distress (as per Carolyn Spring) Differentiating unavoidable pain from added self-blame Focusing on agency in managing additional emotional layers Cascading Layers: When Problems Create More Problems Examples of problems compounding: Physical issues (like leaks) made worse due to hoarding Social isolation leading to more depression and worsened hoarding Administrative issues (unpaid bills leading to fines) Cycle of increasing overwhelm and powerlessness Compassion for oneself in recognising these cycles Layers of Identity Complexity of personal identity in relation to hoarding Public vs. private identities Former, current, and future self-identities The impact of possessions on perceived identity (e.g., holding onto teaching materials) The difference between authentic identity and identity tied to objects Layers of Time Holding onto items as connections to the past Present consequences of hoarding: overwhelm, panic, paralysis Future-oriented worries: fear of needing items later Spaces/items “frozen in time,” keeping people anchored to the past Reflection on who we want to be now and in the future Layers of Shame and Secrecy Shame and secrecy as invisible yet heavy “layers” How secrecy takes energy and perpetuates shame Impact of secrecy on relationships and daily interactions Barriers to seeking help caused by shame and secrecy The process of being more open about hoarding Navigating and Addressing the Layers Emphasis on not needing to resolve all layers at once The process of recognising and being patient with layers Importance of support systems and therapy Identifying helpful (protective or wise) layers versus harmful ones Themes of self-compassion and validation for the complexity of the experience Rejecting simplistic advice to “just get rid of stuff” The process is about understanding and self-acceptance Encouragement to approach oneself with patience and compassion Closing remarks and reminders about podcast resources and support options Links Carolyn Spring Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m talking about how being intentional - basically doing things on purpose rather than on autopilot - can genuinely reshape how we deal with hoarding and our stuff. I’ll share how intentionality helps us pause, make better decisions, and treat ourselves with more compassion, rather than reacting on impulse or out of habit. Plus, I’ll look at how setting small boundaries and choosing to rest on purpose can all be important aspects of real, lasting change. The transformative power of intentionality. Setting the stage: How being intentional relates to what we keep, acquire, or discard. What is Intentionality and Why Does it Matter? Definition: Acting with purpose, consciousness, and awareness. Impact on self-perception: How intentional actions can improve self-esteem and self-compassion. Increasing the distance between stimulus and response. Agency and empowerment: Transition from reactive to deliberate decision-making. Examples (nature walks, acquiring possessions): Using intentionality to shape experiences and choices. Intentionality vs. Reactivity in Hoarding-Related Decisions Reactive behaviours: Impulse acquisitions and the resulting feelings of regret. Intentional decision-making process: Steps and self-questioning (e.g., Do I need this? Does this fit my values?). Intentionality in Dehoarding Emotional barriers: Overwhelm, panic, and high-stakes feelings in hoarding/dehoarding. The value of starting small: Engaging in micro-decisions with thoughtfulness. Shifting mindset: Moving from resentment (“I have to") to choice ("I choose to”). Language and self-talk: The impact of words on perception and action. Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining intentional rules for oneself (e.g., only buying clothing in your current size). Intentional Habits, Rituals, and Boundaries Creating structure: Using rituals (tea, meditation, rewards) to make dehoarding sessions purposeful. Habitual vs. intentional choices: Challenging default behaviors (e.g., always keeping old birthday cards). Self-reflection: Using intentionality to question long-standing personal rules. Intentional Inaction: Choosing Not to Act Recognising when rest is necessary: The difference between intentional rest and giving up. Personal example: Planning for difficult days by intentionally not scheduling activities. Self-compassion: Allowing yourself to rest without self-judgment. Rest, Self-Care, and Challenging Productivity Myths Importance of rest in the decluttering process. Distinguishing between caring rest and avoidance. Encouraging self-compassion and recognising limits. Navigating Grey Areas in Intentionality The challenge of self-deception: When “intentionality” masks hoarding justifications. Tools for discernment: Grounded vs. anxiety-driven decisions. Value alignment: Considering whether choices support personal values and goals. Managing Setbacks and Self-Compassion Responding to slip-ups: Viewing mistakes as data, not failure. Problem-solving: Analysing triggers and adjusting future behaviour. Avoiding all-or-nothing thinking: Reframing setbacks and maintaining momentum. Building an Intentionality Practice The ongoing nature of intentionality: It’s a skill developed over time. Practical applications: Small daily decisions (e.g., washing dishes immediately). Mindfulness: Checking in with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations. Encouragement: Be patient with yourself - progress, not perfection. The cumulative power of intentional decisions. Links Episode about letting yourself half-arse it (#192) Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today I’m talking about what it really takes to stick to our dehoarding decisions - how to resist urges, tolerate discomfort, and actually follow through, even when it’s tough. I’ll share why holding our nerve matters, what gets in the way, and some strategies to help avoid falling back into old patterns. Plus, there’s a practical top tip at the end to help boost your self-care this month. Holding Our Nerve Explanation of the gap between deciding to act and actually taking action when dehoarding Definition in Hoarding Context Persistence in sticking to healthy, productive decisions Managing urges to revert to hoarding behaviours Commitment to goals for sustainable progress Reference to Amelia Earhart’s quote about decision-making and tenacity “Paper tigers” explanation – things we fear that seem big but aren’t as powerful as they appear Application to Hoarding Behaviour Resisting Acquiring Items Examples: bargain shopping, free items, online shopping temptations Enduring Discomfort in Dehoarding Tolerating emotional and physical discomfort during the dehoarding process Maintaining Long-term Commitment Remembering reasons for setting goals in the first place Avoiding short-term gratification and honouring original decisions Hoarding as a Coping Mechanism Exploration of how and why hoarding behaviours develop and persist Acknowledging that they once served a purpose and understanding possible current motivations Strategies for Holding Our Nerve Breaking the Cycle Recognising urges and patterns Learning from successes and setbacks Decision-Making vs. Tenacity Differentiating between difficulty in deciding versus following through The importance of honouring previous decisions Reminders and Motivation Recalling the “why” behind goals (better living conditions, consequences, self-improvement) Using motivational tools (e.g., visual reminders, Pinterest boards) Compassion and Flexibility Allowing for Mistakes Emphasis on not seeking perfection, just consistent progress Adjusting Expectations Recognising that personal best varies from day to day Trusting the process, even during discomfort Building the “Dehoarding Muscle” Each successful decision builds strength and determination for future efforts Identifying and Addressing Triggers Internal Triggers Decision fatigue, emotional attachment, mental and physical exhaustion, anxiety or depression Self-doubt and “what if I need it?” thoughts External Triggers Specific shops, websites, sales, or social pressure from others Discouragement, overwhelm, enticing offers, or resistance from people uncomfortable with change Planning Around Triggers Identifying personal stumbling blocks and creating plans to avoid or counteract them Coping Tactics for Urges Acknowledgment & Self-Reflection Naming feelings and urges to reduce their power Recognising patterns and underlying needs (e.g., hunger, mood) Nervous System Regulation Using grounding techniques, calming objects, self-talk, and other anxiety-management tools Allowing oneself to feel discomfort without acting on it Dealing with “What If I Need It?” Thoughts Trusting future self to be resourceful Breaking down hypothetical worries and seeking alternatives Importance of Support Systems Building and Using Support Networks Therapists, friends, accountability groups (Zoom sessions), online communities Support as both emotional (crying, laughing) and practical (advice, checks on decisions) Loneliness and Variations in Support Recognition that not everyone has support, with encouragement to proactively seek help Mention of a related episode on loneliness Self-Compassion and Learning from Setbacks Self-forgiveness and Reflection Importance of forgiving oneself instead of engaging in self-punishment Analysing situations where nerve was lost to prevent future recurrences Practical Planning Strategies for managing triggers, such as only shopping with someone else or removing items quickly Links Podcast ep 196: Trusting our future selves to be resourceful with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast episode 174: How to feel grounded when we’re overwhelmed or dysregulated using ventral vagal spaces and touchstones, with Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 130: Loneliness and hoarding with Vassia Sarantopoulou: build human connections and combat hoarding-related shame Action for Happiness calendar Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  This episode, I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to talk about why so many of us who hoard struggle to trust our future selves to cope without keeping everything “just in case.” We get into how doubts about our own resourcefulness and fears about scarcity keep us stuck, and share practical ways to build confidence in our ability to handle whatever comes next. If you’ve ever worried you won’t manage without every single spare part or backup item, this conversation’s for you. Trusting Our Future Selves to Be Resourceful The psychological struggle of believing in one’s ability to cope without keeping everything Personal anecdotes from the host about surprise resourcefulness Exploration of cognitive distortions surrounding trust in future adaptability Resourcefulness in Hoarding Behaviour Contradiction: Resourceful justifications for keeping items vs. fear of not being resourceful if they’re discarded The role of loss aversion and catastrophic scarcity thinking Imagining multiple uses for broken items versus inability to visualise coping without them The ‘Just in Case’ Myth Reading and analysis of Ru Kotryna’s Instagram post on ‘just in case’ keeping Discussion of how this reflects distrust in future self Emotional impacts: fear of change, sufficiency, and facing the future without backup How Distrust in Future Selves Manifests in Hoarding ‘Insurance hoarding’ and duplicate/back-up keeping Information hoarding for fear of forgetting needed details Emotional insecurity and sense of powerlessness Host’s personal examples (nature as a self-soothing tool and fear of its impermanence) Navigating Ephemerality and Change Conversation about the fleeting nature of things and the difficulty in accepting impermanence Reflection on attempts to freeze time by hoarding Behaviours and Thoughts Stemming from Lack of Self-Trust Executive function issues (planning, organisation, working memory) Trauma and past experiences of genuine scarcity Shame and immediate anxiety-reduction through keeping Avoidance and ‘comfort objects’ as safety strategies Psychological Mechanisms Behind ‘I Don’t Trust Future Me’ Discontinuity between current and future self Impact of ADHD and perimenopause on executive functioning and time perception Cognitive gaps between imagining needs and recalling/locating stored things Irony of ‘preparedness’ leading to greater unpreparedness Building Trust in Future Resourcefulness The value of journalling resourceful moments Small experiments: let go of duplicates and record how needs are met afterward Reviewing past examples of having coped or improvised successfully Consumerism and the Illusion of Solutions Attraction to gadgets and solutions for perceived problems The sunk cost fallacy and struggles to let go Owning up to aspirational or impulse purchases and being flexible in letting go if they don't work Scarcity Thinking and Its Long-Term Effects Personal stories of genuine scarcity and the enduring fear it creates How fear of not having enough directs attention to objects as solutions, rather than inner resourcefulness Difficulty breaking the object-focused habit even after circumstances change Breaking the Pattern: Psychological Approaches in Therapy Building evidence of existing skills and resourcefulness Addressing deeper self-worth issues and messages from childhood The importance of social connections, seeking help, and curiosity The Power and Pitfall of Backup Systems Possessions as emotional and practical backup Drawback: Items often become inaccessible or forgotten The paradox of keeping as “preparation” that often fails in practice due to volume and executive dysfunction Strengthening Connection with Future Self Using ACT techniques and self-compassion Treating your future self like a friend and planning for their needs Internal monologues about preparing spaces and making life easier for future-you Alternative Pathways to Security and Preparedness Community and social resource sharing (borrowing, lending among friends/family) Developing adaptability, self-confidence, and skills rather than accumulating more items Experimenting with minimalism and embracing uncertainty Actionable Steps for Building Trust in Resourcefulness Saying “I’ll figure it out when I need to” Experimenting with running out of non-critical supplies Documenting and reflecting on resourceful problem-solving Letting go of low-risk items and noticing outcomes The reminder that listeners have survived all past problems resourcefully Encouragement to recognise and trust personal growth and capabilities Emphasis on learning, adaptability, and present-focused living Links The Ru Kotryna Instagram post that inspired this episode Podcast ep 183: ADHD, executive dysfunction and creating hacks and systems to reduce clutter chaos, with Carrie Lagerstedt Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

I really hope to be back with new episodes for you next week but, in the meantime, enjoy this incredible conversation with Dr Jan Eppingstall all about executive function, executive dysfunction, and hoarding.  Find the show notes and episode transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-112-executive-function-executive-dysfunction-and-hoarding-with-dr-jan-eppingstall/ Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

Today, as we go into the weekend (and it's a long weekend here in the UK), get some ideas for weekend-shaped dehoarding tasks you can really get your teeth into. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-90-23-dehoarding-tasks-you-can-achieve-in-a-weekend/  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ 

"Really early on, I was like, this isn't about the stuff. This just isn't about the stuff." - Tracy McCubbin. Today, we’re revisiting this episode with podcast favourite Tracy McCubbin, about being the child of a hoarder and becoming a professional organiser. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-78-from-child-of-a-hoarder-to-professional-organiser-an-interview-with-tracy-mccubbin/  Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/   

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, we’re revisiting this episode with the inimitable Dr Jan Eppingstall about how grief, bereavement and loss are often knitted into hoarding disorder. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-63-grief-and-loss-and-hoarding-with-dr-jan-eppingstall-of-stuffology/ 

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, we're revisiting this episode with the wonderful Jo Cooke from Hoarding Disorders UK about chronic disorganisation, what it has in common with hoarding, and how it differs. Find the full show notes and transcript here: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podcast-ep-139-chronic-disorganisation-with-jo-cooke-of-hoarding-disorders-uk/     

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Why is it so hard to deal with uncertainty, and what does that have to do with hoarding? This week I’m joined by Dr Jan Eppingstall to unpack how our brains handle ambiguity, why fear of making mistakes can keep us stuck, and how intolerance of uncertainty feeds into hoarding behaviours. We break down practical ways to build up your tolerance for not knowing and share some strategies that might actually make a difference. Uncertainty and Its Challenges Definition and context of uncertainty Evolutionary reasons for discomfort with uncertainty (Selfish Brain Theory) Contrast between historical resource scarcity and modern abundance Our minds’ outdated ways of managing uncertainty Cognitive Closure What is cognitive closure? Difference between cognitive closure (psychological need for definite answers) and “closure” in pop culture (emotional resolution) How it relates to need for certainty in present/future, not just past events The creation of cognitive closure measurement scales by researchers Factors influencing need for cognitive closure: Personality traits: Conscientiousness, neuroticism (now called emotionality), openness to experience, extroversion Trauma history and its effects on the nervous system Neurodivergence (with emphasis on autism and “sticky thinking”) Combination of personality, trauma, and neurodivergence Intolerance of Uncertainty Psychological definition of intolerance of uncertainty Negative cognitive bias: How it affects perception and response Manifestations in people experiencing uncertainty as distress Its direct relevance to hoarding behaviours The Link Between Hoarding Disorder and Intolerance of Uncertainty Research findings: intolerance of uncertainty as a predictor of hoarding symptom severity Usefulness in early intervention strategies intolerance of uncertainty as a transdiagnostic factor (across anxiety, some depression, and other mental health conditions) How heightened anxiety sensitivity in hoarding perpetuates avoidance Experiential avoidance in hoarding (saving and acquiring behaviours) Connection between maladaptive behaviours and intolerance of uncertainty Fear of Making Mistakes and Perfectionism Common fears of mistakes in hoarding (disposing, acquiring, putting things away) Perfectionism’s role (fear of failure, not wasting) All-or-nothing thinking and rigid decision-making rules Paralysing effect of avoidance due to fear of mistakes Not making a decision as a potential mistake itself Interaction and reinforcement between perfectionism and intolerance of uncertainty Comorbidity and Severity Research on multiple diagnoses: More than half of psychiatric patients have more than one diagnosis Diagnostic challenges and overlapping criteria How comorbidity compounds issues: More symptoms and more complexity Higher intolerance of uncertainty linked with more severe hoarding, especially when other conditions are present Impact on treatment difficulty intolerance of uncertainty’s Impact on Acquiring and Discarding Behaviours How acquiring reduces fear of missing out and future needs Difficulty discarding as protection against future regret Shame around mistake-making Common inner questions: Future use, responsibility, relationships More complexity leading to more avoidance Nuances in intolerance of uncertainty and Hoarding Study on sub-factors of uncertainty: Factor 1: Negative self-referential implications (linked to hoarding severity) Factor 2: Perception of uncertainty as unfair (not linked) Internal vs. external perspectives on uncertainty Relevance of anxiety-driven self-criticism Changing Relationship to Uncertainty: Curiosity and Reframing Rilke’s quote on “loving the questions” Transforming approach from fear to curiosity Curiosity as a therapeutic tool Creativity in imagining alternatives and solutions Relevance of loss aversion and cognitive biases Modern Life and Uncertainty Intolerance Research linking increased use of technology (instant answers) to rising intolerance of uncertainty Smartphone/information overload and decreased tolerance “muscle” Relevance to hoarding (desire for backups, information saving) Example: IMDb, screenshots, saving digital info Treatment Strategies Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) effects on intolerance of uncertainty in anxiety Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and exposure-based methods: Pros and cons Importance of a therapist experienced in error-related distress and uncertainty Key skills: Observing distress, sitting with uncomfortable feelings, gradual exposure Self-help approaches: Reframing mistakes as learning Practicing self-compassion Values-based decision-making Systematic exposure to small errors Gradually breaking rigid rules (e.g., waste, tidiness) Recognising individual differences and seeking appropriate support Embracing Mistakes and Humanity Learning from therapist/client anecdotes Cultural expectations around perfectionism vs. real human messiness How mistakes can be positive or even entertaining Letting go of the need for perfection The Four Cs for Managing Uncertainty From Elizabeth Weingarten: Curiosity, Conversation, Community, Commitment How to foster each: Curiosity: Approach with questions and exploration Conversation: Discuss uncertainties with trusted people Community: Build social support Commitment: Dedication to exploring questions and knowing when to let go Links Hillman, S. R. HOARDING DISORDER AND Intolerance of Uncertainty, Anxiety Sensitivity and Distress Tolerance in Hoarding Disorder Compared to OCD and Healthy Controls - Shemariah R. Hillman; Claire L. Lomax; Nadeen Khaleel; Theresa R. Smith; James D. Gregory Baldwin, P. A Multimethod Examination of Vulnerability in Hoarding, UNSW Sydney, 2016. https://doi.org/10.26190/UNSWORKS/19156 Castriotta, N.; Dozier, M. E.; Taylor, C. T.; Mayes, T.; Ayers, C. R. Intolerance of Uncertainty in Hoarding Disorder. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders 2019, 21, 97–101. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jocrd.2018.11.005 Exploring Humanity’s Relationship to Uncertainty with Elizabeth Weingarten  Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 182: What are “towards and away moves” and what on earth do they have to do with hoarding recovery? With Dr Jan Eppingstall Podcast ep 127: Overcoming overspending with Paige Pritchard, Money Coach Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Dr Jan Eppingstall at Stuffology https://www.facebook.com/stuffologyconsulting/ https://twitter.com/stuff_ology https://www.instagram.com/stuff_ology/ Dr Jan Eppingstall on Pinterest Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Today, let's revisit this episode with 31 things you can dehoard today if you're stuck and don't know where to start. You can find the full episode transcript and show notes here.  

Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom Session: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/ticket Subscribe to the podcast: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/subscribe Podcast show notes, links and transcript: http://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/  Transformation and comfort rarely go hand in hand, especially when it comes to overcoming compulsive hoarding. In this episode, I talk honestly about why making real change means facing discomfort, based on a quote from Healing Justice London that “transformation and comfort do not live in the same house”. I challenge us to identify the difference between familiarity and comfort, and share practical ways to push through those tough moments - because growth comes from getting a bit uncomfortable. If you’re tired of mistaking chaos for comfort, this one’s for you. “Transformation and comfort do not live in the same house” (Healing Justice London) The universal truth behind the idea The necessity of discomfort for real transformation Discomfort Versus Comfort in the Hoarding Context Familiarity as a source of “comfort” for those who hoard Risks of equating familiarity with true comfort The need for change and its inherent discomfort Examples of positive outcomes after embracing discomfort The Reality of Discomfort in Dehoarding Emotional and physical challenges of dehoarding Potential for overwhelming feelings and anxiety Catastrophising and perfectionism surrounding decision-making Emotional toll of letting go and possible identity implications Acknowledgement that discomfort does not mean failure Familiarity Versus Authentic Comfort Distinction between feeling comfortable and something being familiar The false sense of control and security provided by clutter The actual consequences of living in a hoarded home: Physical hazards (tripping, blocked access, risk in emergencies) Social isolation and shame Lack of practical comfort (e.g., not sleeping in one’s own bed) The hidden, ongoing “slow burn” of stress and discomfort Motivation and Community Importance of recognising the true discomfort of living with hoarding Community connections via the podcast and accountability Zoom sessions Methods to share resources and reduce isolation Reframing Discomfort as Growth Viewing discomfort as a sign of progress rather than a warning The parallel discomforts of both dehoarding and continuing to hoard Making conscious choices between competing difficulties Strategies for Managing Discomfort Taking small, manageable steps to build resilience Being gentle and compassionate with oneself during the process Reaching out for support (friends, family, therapist, peer groups) The use and benefit of accountability sessions The Broader Benefits of Transformation Improved physical space and wellbeing Increased self-confidence and pride Better relationships and decreased shame Regaining practical functionality and freedom at home Enhanced overall quality of life Practical Suggestions and Further Resources Trying a small, uncomfortable but positive task today References to previous episodes for deeper exploration: Sitting with discomfort and distress tolerance (Episode 49) Building resilience (Episode 70 with Dr. Jan Eppingstall) Links Podcast ep 190: What if we forgive ourselves, but now we know better, we do better? Choosing compassion over shame in hoarding disorder Podcast ep 49: Sitting with discomfort: distress tolerance and hoarding – How unconscious distress avoidance might be worsening your problems Podcast ep 70: Resilience and hoarding with Dr Jan Eppingstall of Stuffology Enough, the Podcast Come to a Dehoarding Accountability Zoom session: Accountability Booking Form Website: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding Become a Dehoarding Darling Submit a topic for the podcast to cover Questions to ask when dehoarding: https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/podquestions Instagram: @thathoarderpodcast Twitter: @ThatHoarder Mastodon: @ThatHoarder@mastodon.online TikTok: @thathoarderpodcast Facebook: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Pinterest: That Hoarder YouTube: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder Reddit: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder subreddit Help out: Support this project Sponsor the podcast Subscribe to the podcast Subscribe to the podcast here Buy your copy of Everything You Need to Know About Hoarding by Dr Lynne Drummond at cambridge.org/EverythingHoarding, and get 20% off with the discount code HOARDING20. #ad