The "Cake Doesn't Count" Podcast

Oftentimes on the intuitive eating path, we can get stuck in the old "but I need to lose weight NOW" mindset. When things don't happen fast enough or progress is slow, it can be hard to not get tempted to diet. How do you balance the desire for weight loss with intuitive eating? 5 tips to help! 

I often talk about the diet pendulum around dieting and bingeing. But it can be a powerful metaphor to help you navigate life! 

I used to ache for what food did for me--take away my pain, soothe my heartbreak and comfort my inner emptiness. How do we move forward on this path and deal with the "hard" stuff when we miss what food does for us? Tune in today to find out! 

If you get flustered when something unexpected steamrolls through your day, listen in for 4 tips to help! 

If you feel like you "fail" daily at eating healthy, check out the podcast for tips to help! 

In the world of dieting and what we "should" eat, it gets confusing to know when (or if!) you can trust your body. Explore 3 tips to help you know how to REALLY trust what your body says!

Here are my favorite tips from 9+ years working with women to end bingeing!

I got a really good question via email last week that I wanted to answer on the podcast! Here is what she wrote:   I found your podcast a few months ago and love it. I'm writing for two reasons. The first, lately I have been struggling with how I used to look and how I look now. I'm in a bigger body than I had been three years ago and am in the biggest body to date.   I struggle to accept this new body while I move around in the world. There seems to be a direct link hardwired in my brain. Bigger body-> not good enough-> you won't find a partner -> I won't get to have the family I've always wanted -> so sad -> seek comfort in food -> repeat.   This is something I work through with many of my coaching clients and something I deeply struggled with.   You'll find four tips/tools on today's podcast!  

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC   Is Holistic Weight Loss for You? One of the reasons we end up getting stuck in the dieting cycle is because we want to lose weight. We don't like our body size, we desperately want to control our food, or we have to lose weight for health reasons and we do what we've always done– try to achieve the goal through a diet. But the paradox is that the more we try to lose weight and control our food, the more it eludes us. Enter holistic weight loss!   Table of Contents What Is Holistic Weight Loss? A New Way to View Weight How Does It Work? The Four-Pronged Approach to Holistic Weight Loss How Long Does It Take? Is There a Holistic Weight Loss Diet Plan? What Is It Like to Work with a Holistic Weight Loss Coach? What's It Like in Real Life? Next Steps Prefer to listen to the podcast? Check it out here: What Is Holistic Weight Loss? There is a delicate balance between weight loss and food freedom. Many of us come to think of these two things as either/or. We either go on a diet and lose the weight OR we stay stuck at our current weight but have freedom. What if there is a way to have both? I believe our bodies want to be at a weight that is comfortable for our frame. That may be different than what we THINK our size should be.       What If There Was a New Way to View Weight?  A way that was holistic and nourishing rather than depriving and punishing.  The old way of weight loss is one of deprivation, cutting out and willpower. The new way of weight loss is a holistic mind-body-soul approach that's nourishing and compassionate. Holistic weight loss is a four-pronged approach and a completely new way of looking at weight. It's physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Because we need to take into account ALL of ourselves if we want to be in alignment to restore our body's natural state. It's a restoration, a re-balancing, a releasing of what no longer serves you. THAT'S the way to lasting, sustainable weight loss. The best part? You can have both: freedom AND weight re-balancing!   🍓 Related Post: Why Your Natural Weight Isn't What You Think It Is ->   How Does Holistic Weight Loss Work?  Not everyone is ready to approach weight from this space. Sometimes we need to first focus on getting out of the extremes of dieting and bingeing, rather than bringing weight into the conversation. And that's okay. I believe in honoring where we are in the journey. After 9 years of experience in this industry, I've worked with all different kinds of women. In some coaching sessions, we don't talk much about food (we talk about emotions, boundaries, habits, stuck points, perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-care and 100 other things!) In other sessions, we talk a lot about food. It depends on where each person is, so holistic weight loss is not for everyone. It works only when we're ready for it. When we're open to having deeper conversations around the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of weight, we are open to looking at weight in a whole new way.     The Four-Pronged Approach to Holistic Weight Loss:   1. PHYSICAL: Blood Sugar Comes First Holistic weight loss is a re-balancing of our bodies. We work to find a healthy relationship to carbs and sugar–how much of each do we want/need? When does it feel energizing to have these foods? What would work for us in relation to our desire for freedom vs structure? A part of the physical aspect of weight is the exploration of what/how we are eating, how our choices impact our bodies, and what rhythm of eating energizes the body. It's important to work on figuring out how much food is "enough." How do you tap into hunger, fullness, and use the mind and body together to decide what way of eating works best? Experimentation is key. You start eating regularly and often, picking amounts you think are "enough," and you continually get feedback from your body to refine and change/shift as you move forward. At a retreat I did a few years ago, one of the women asked me, "How do you decide what constitutes a serving?" I explained that at first, I guessed. I would pick something I thought would be "enough." I took half of the piece of chicken, 5 potato wedges and a heaping of salad on my plate. In the beginning, I still ate very much from an "eat less" perspective and learned over time to relax that diet mindset. Then, I'd reassess throughout the meal and after I was done. I asked myself: How did I feel? Was I wanting more? Did it feel like enough?         Then I'd rinse and repeat that cycle every time I ate! If you want more foods you deem unhealthy, there can be fear around "what if I eat this way forever?" It's a valid fear, as we can be afraid if we allow foods that aren't "healthy," we'll never lose weight. But it's a process of using the mind AND the body to make food choices–you're never static, and you can always change course as you learn more about what works and doesn't. As our blood sugar rebalances and our energy evens out, we normalize the rhythms of our bodies. Over time, you learn to refine your food choices with awareness, experimentation and feedback!         2. MENTAL: Why Mindset Is Important A lot of what goes on between our ears doesn't serve  us. We have a lot of rules about "good and bad" foods. From the diet world, we pick up what we "should" eat, what success looks like, and a very critical view of ourselves if we "fail". It's important to pay attention to what we're saying to ourselves. What rules are you following around food? How are they serving you? Are there any rules that would feel supportive if you let them go? How would redefining 'good' and 'bad' labels around food feel? What else would success look like around eating if you're not following a diet? These questions can help you explore and work through the mental tapes you have to let go of in order to find a balanced relationship with food.     It can also help to reframe weight loss to weight restoration or weight rebalancing. Even still, for me, the term "weight loss" conjures up willpower, deprivation, cutting things out and a lot of effort. But if we ask questions like these instead… What would best support my body in moving back into a place of balance? How would it feel to allow my weight to normalize? What does it look like to nourish my body toward a natural weight? …we can shift it from deprivation to one of support and nourishment as we help our body move back into its optimal size. Our mindset is important in the rebalancing process, as being aware of our critical thoughts and rules can help bring awareness to them so they can change.       3. EMOTIONS: A Big Piece of the Weight Puzzle Lies with Our Feelings Emotions are tied very closely to our relationship with food. Studies show that over 75% of overeating is caused by our emotions. For those of us who've battled food, we learn to use food as a coping mechanism. We learn to eat when we're happy, sad, lonely, stressed, anxious, afraid and everything in between. We eat to soothe pain, to escape the realities of life, to ease the heavy load that as humans, we sometimes carry. A big piece of the puzzle is looking at where you use food emotionally and what you really need instead. Balancing emotional healing with wanting to lose weight is a dance–we learn to hold the two desires of freedom and weight restoration simultaneously. Exploring the world of emotions via journaling, tapping, breathwork, expression and letting go is a huge piece of the weight restoration equation. I often reflected in my journal on questions like these: What person or feeling sent me to the food? What do I not want to feel? Am I afraid of this emotion? How can I move through that fear? What am I hoping this food will do for me? What is it that I really want instead? These types of questions can prompt you to look at addressing the emotion rather than eating over it. As you continue to learn to feel and express and let go of the food as an emotional support, it releases your body (and yourself!) to cope with life rather than turning to food. This is huge in weight rebalancing because, typically, on diets, we never address WHY we are eating.     4. SPIRIT: The Spiritual Perspective Is a Unique One It's rare that spirituality is talked about in the world of weight loss. To me, it's the piece of the puzzle that's often missing, as so much is tied into the spiritual aspect. Our identities can get wrapped up in our "food/weight struggle" as a part of who we are. Who would we be without this issue?  What would we do with our time if we weren't spending energy on this?  What would I talk about with people?  This was a big one for me. I identified so strongly with my food issues that I was afraid of not having them. Even though they didn't serve me, they felt familiar and safe. Subconsciously we might hold on to our excess weight because it's "safe." No one notices us, and we can hide more easily. We may be afraid of sexual attention. There are all kinds of fears are wrapped up in holding on to our weight. Weight can be a protector and a safety barrier. It can also be a pointer to the spiritual aspect! How do we fill the emptiness inside rather than try to use food? I had a deep emptiness inside of me that I filled with food. Once I was aware of this, I worked to learn how to fill that void: how to find peace and contentment and how to feel fulfilled from within. This part of the puzzle is usually the most transformational, as it's where lasting healing happens on a deep level.         How Long Does Holistic Weight Loss Take?  My favorite question that I used to ask the woman I worked with whenever she suggested anything: "Well, how long will it take?" I wanted to know EXACTLY how long it would take to lose weight, to stop bingeing, not to eat emotionally, to like my body. But there isn't a simple answer to this question. For some people, they see change

I received a fantastic question from a blog reader and podcast listener last week: I feel like I am having a hard time stopping when I'm full when I really like the taste of something, and I feel really disappointed when I realize I AM full. How do I stop eating when something is tasty?  This is such a great question so I thought I'd answer it on today's podcast! Do you have a question you'd like answered on the podcast or the blog? Submit it here :)  

This is a short and sweet episode to give a quick bit of inspiration!

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC If you search, "how to stop the binge and restrict cycle", google gives you over 4.4 million entries in just under 4 seconds. That means there is A LOT of information to sort through to understand what would actually help. I've compiled the most useful information, that has helped both me and my clients, in one place for you to help you move forward and know where to focus :)   The 3 Main Causes of the Binge and Restrict Cycle     1. Dieting (Not Eating Enough)   When we diet, we are restricting calories and typically depriving ourselves of calories, fuel and/or the foods we deem "bad". Our bodies need a certain level of fuel. Even if we are sitting on the couch all day, our body is burning calories to circulate blood, beat our heart, and run all the systems of our bodies. So if we are caught up in the sneaky diet mindset or trying to adhere to a specific plan (or calorie count), it ends up backfiring. Not eating enough typically ends up causing us to overeat. This can happen at night after a day of low-calorie eating or after a few days of "good" eating. Over time, it can lead to spikes of hunger and a ravenous appetite (since our bodies need fuel and we don't give it enough!), and may end up in a binge. The body eventually rebels and wants MORE fuel. When we're not eating enough, it can feel almost impossible to use willpower or discipline, since we are essentially trying to override our body's natural signal for fuel. Dieting in any form is usually one of the main causes of a binge.   2. Psychological Reasons   Stress, boredom, anxiety, depression, and hard emotions can all be a trigger to binge. Eating can be a way for us to numb out, distract ourselves and deal with the challenges that life throws at us. Typically, those of us who've struggled with food grew up learning that food was a way to deal with life. We don't learn how to move through difficult feelings, express our wants/needs, and deal with the hardship that life can throw our way. So as adults, this pattern has become ingrained in us. And as we grow, life gets harder. We have more obligations, responsibilities, financial worries. We need to navigate the challenges of relationships, parenting, a career and the ups and downs of life. Food becomes our way out and can create a pattern of bingeing.   3. A Desire for Pleasure   Sometimes when we are in the hum drum of life, we lack pleasure. Life becomes one endless to-do list after another, with obligations, responsibilities and chores to finish. Food becomes a way to add pleasure and enjoyment to our lives. This doesn't always end up in a binge, but many people turn to food to add excitement and it can spiral into overeating. Desserts, carbs and sweets add "delight" to the routine elements of raising kids, working a 9-5, taking care of a house/apartment, paying bills and managing all of life's tasks. Often times a deep desire for more pleasure, fun, adventure and enjoyment in life can be manifested in a binge. If you'd rather listen to the podcast, you can find it here: Here's How I Overcame It   One of the hardest parts of this path is the "how LONG will it take?!" question. I asked this 1800+ times over the course of my healing. The diet world trains us to expect instant results so we come in to this path with a sense of impatience. We want "results" fast and we want them now. The problem is, if we've spent years, decades or a lifetime in the diet/overeat cycle, it takes time to heal and normalize the body. You can find the full ins and outs (with dates and how long each stage took) here.   Here's what was key in my own healing of the binge and restrict cycle:    1. I Got Help   Early on, I convinced myself that I "shouldn't" need help in dealing with food issues. After all, children were starving in Africa, people dealt with serious tragedies, and the world had bigger problems. How could I wrestle with something as simple (or "dumb") as food? Honestly, I felt ashamed. I was embarrassed that I had no "real" problems...I had a good family, great friends, and life was good. Except I deeply struggled with food and my weight. And I couldn't get a handle on it on my own. Admitting this was huge. Getting help changed my life. It allowed me to shift perspective, gain clarity and make faster progress. There are free and low cost options like support groups, 12 step groups, sliding scale therapists, counselors that insurance covers. There are paid options like coaching, books, retreats, programs, and in person or digital group therapies. Truly there is no right or wrong! I did Overeaters Anonymous for many years (which was free). I didn't resonate with all of their principles (they promoted abstaining from sugar and flour, but I wanted to have a relationship to them, not a termination of them), but I got a sponsor and worked the steps for a bit to help me in the emotional part of it. For a few years I did therapy which catapulted my healing into a new level. Both were instrumental in helping me overcome the binge and restrict cycle. Admitting that I needed help was a huge burden lifted from my soul. Support (in whatever form that resonates with you) is the fastest way forward!   2. I Began with the Physical Part of Rebalancing my Body   The very first step of my healing was pairing a protein and a carb every 3-4 hours. I focused on this for the first few months as it was crucial to getting out of the diet cycle. The most helpful part of this was that it gave my brain something to focus on. I knew I wanted to learn to listen to my body eventually, but it was so far from where I was (I was either following a diet or overeating). I worked to eat in this way and challenge my brain when it freaked out that I would gain weight. Like most people who get trapped in the diet world, we think that we should be dieting in order to find the control we seek. So my brain was not too happy that I was eating "so much". (or so it told me). While I was working to stabilize my blood sugar and get out of the extremes of the pendulum, I also worked to retrain my thoughts so I didn't freak out :) But the protein + carb pairing every 3-4 hours was my main focus at first; this helped to normalize my body's rhythms so I COULD focus on some of the mental and emotional pieces. 3. I Worked Hard to Not "Start Over"   One of the challenging parts after a binge is the immediate desire to "start over" the next day. We feel terrible, hate ourselves for what we "did", and are comforted by the fact that we can start over to get back on track. A diet or eating plan feels like it's an easy answer to our problem (we feel disgusting and a diet gives us the illusion of control). I knew that "starting over" would keep me trapped in the cycle, so I worked diligently to learn from my binges and nourish myself after so that I could resist the temptation to keep starting something new. I wasn't always successful, but every time I binged, I'd get out my journal, and examine what was going on that led me to the food. My journal helped me explore what I needed to feel balanced again (I reframed "starting over" to "feeling more balanced"). I experimented with support, hydration, moving my body, meal planning, mindset & emotional work, and other things to bring me back into balance. Working to reframe the need to start over helped me slowly but surely, come back to the middle of the pendulum.   4. I Constantly Reminded Myself of Small Wins   With dieting, we expect big results. We deprive and punish ourselves with the promise of the great reward at the end: weight loss. On this path, though, we need to take a different view of success. (If we aren't measuring pounds lost, how do we view success?) Looking at our small victories helps us see progress as it's happening. Often times, we overlook the small wins because the big thing we want isn't happening fast enough. But truly, this path IS the result of 1,000 little wins that add up to the "big" thing that we want. It's easy to gloss over expressing an emotion instead of eating, going one day without bingeing, or going out to a restaurant and being able to eat without anxiety. We don't think these are "big enough" things to be proud of. But all of those wins are the start of progress over time. I worked hard to remember the small wins (especially when I wanted to give up or thought it wasn't happening fast enough). This kept me grounded during the ups and downs of this path.   5. I Didn't Give Up   Although there were many many nights that I DID want to give up, there was always a small glimmer of hope that if I just kept going, I WOULD find freedom and become a normal eater. The more I grew on this path, the more I knew I couldn't go back to the world of dieting. Over time, it didn't ring true for me anymore (and my body rebelled--I literally couldn't last a day or two on a diet). Deep down, I knew there was another way to eat (and live), so I stayed the course. This sounds simple, but not easy. I got tempted to diet (and did) many times over the years. Even though I knew diets didn't work, I still secretly tried them "one last time" to lose the weight and THEN deal with my eating issues. Through tears and frustration, despair and thinking "I had it" (but didn't), I kept going. I am so glad I did, as my eating wouldn't be where it was today if I had given up.   Applying It to Your Life: How You Can Stop the Binge and Restrict Cycle One of my favorite mantras is "take what resonates and leave the rest". With everything that I write about or discuss on the podcast, if it doesn't resonate, leave it. If it does, take it in and make it your own. My main intention is to help you learn how to hear YOUR own guidance from within to find out what works for you :) Some things may resonate, others may not. There is no right or wrong, it is all about what works for YOU! Here are some things to try:   1. Eat every 3-4 hours   Instead

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC When I was in the throes of dieting and bingeing, I remember sobbing in endless frustration and despair over not being able to stop eating. As I began to heal my food issues over the years, I stopped binge eating and want to share with you the way I got there. I was 26 and had just broken up with my boyfriend of almost four years. Although I knew it was for the best, I was still heartbroken. I'd been through years of healing on this journey but still couldn't resist the pull towards cookies and Reese's to soothe my aching heart. If you had told me then I'd one day be "done" bingeing, I wouldn't have believed you. But fast forward to today and here I am. If you're feeling stuck, frustrated, angry at yourself for not being able to "just stop eating", I get it. This path is mind numbingly frustrating at times, as it feels like it should be easy to do what we know we should: just stop eating. But if you're reading this, then there is a part of you that still believes, you CAN stop bingeing. Hold on to that quiet whisper inside--that is what kept me going when I had my darkest moments of wanting to give up.   I stopped binge eating. Here's how I did it.  If you prefer to listen at the podcast, do so here: 1. I Ate According to the Clock To Help Me Stabilize my Blood Sugar.   This might sound counterintuitive, as we're "supposed" to be in touch with hunger and fullness and eat according to that. The problem is that when we first start, we are so far from hearing our body's signals that don't know how. So I used the clock to guide me. (BTW--there is more on this in the first two chapters of my book: How to Be a Normal Eater) I began eating every 3 hours, like clockwork. It was terrifying. But it also felt good to have something to guide me--I wasn't left to my own whims of hunger/fullness. Every 3 hours, I would eat. My meals were small, as I was still in the diet mindset, but I worked to let my body normalize her rhythms. This is a crucial step, as it worked to stabilize my blood sugar after years of all over the place eating. I was fueling my body in a way that was steady and even throughout the day--I didn't go long hours without eating and I wasn't ravenous at the end of the day because I hadn't eaten much. Explore what works for you--is it every 3 hours? Are you more in touch with hunger to use that to guide you? Do you do well with 3 meals a day? Look at how to begin stabilizing your blood sugar by eating regularly and often (this gives you more balance mentally and emotionally, as well, so you can dive into the deeper reasons behind bingeing) 2. I Began Chipping Away at the Old Diet Tapes.   The amount of rules ingrained in my mind around food was astonishing. Carbs are bad I can't eat after 7 pm Sweets are off limits during the workweek I can only have oatmeal or yogurt for breakfast Cheese is fattening so don't eat it I have to eat a salad for lunch That was only the start of my list! I knew these were hindering my progress, because it only set me up for rebellion. The more rules I had, the more I ended up rebelling in a binge. So slowly, but surely, I chipped away at the rules. I began with easier ones and worked to expand them. For example: I had a "I shouldn't eat bread" hard rule. Carbs were easier for me than desserts (I binged more on dessert than carbs), so I began with that. I intentionally had a piece of bread with my salad 3x a week for lunch. That felt doable for me--scary ("uh oh, if I eat bread will I gain weight?!) but not so far outside my comfort zone, that it felt terrifying. I used self-talk and mindfulness to help me "allow" myself to eat the bread. And I was pleasantly surprised! I didn't spiral out of control and it didn't end up in a binge. I actually felt MORE satisfied with my salad when I ate a piece of whole wheat bread with it.   That satisfaction helped me not overeat later as I started relaxing my rules.    It takes diligence (and of course, it won't be perfect!) but it can be so helpful to chip away at the old tapes--we often binge in a response to the diet tapes going on in our minds. What are your diet and food rules? Begin with a few of the less scary ones to see where you can experiment with relaxing and challenging them :)   3. I Worked to Not Eat Over Every Emotion.   Once I started relaxing my diet tapes and eating more regularly, I realized emotional eating was a big issue for me. I ate when I was happy, sad, anxious, disappointed, lonely, bored and (insert every other feeling here). A big part of my healing came from exploring my emotions and how they triggered my eating. Every night, I sat with my journal on my couch, writing and exploring what I was stuffing down, hiding from, and avoiding that sent me into the food. I explored questions like: What do I not want to look at?  What is really bothering me?  Why am I unhappy?  What do I really really really want?  What am I afraid of?  And other bigger life questions. I wrote and cried and wrote again. I started meditating and experimented with sitting in the discomfort of silence. And I tried my damnedest to work through emotions that I was terrified to feel. It was not easy. But the payoff was huge. I realized that as I explored emotions more, I ate over them less. I wasn't an "expert" at feeling my feelings instead of eating, but I did notice that as I shed more tears (that was my only emotional release at first--I didn't know how else to express anything!), my binges were fewer and farther between. Take a look at where your emotions send you into the food. Explore journaling, breathwork, yoga, EFT, and other tools to help you process it rather than eat over it.   4. I Identified My Triggers & Made a Plan for Them.   One of my biggest triggers was my family. My sister sold Herbalife at the time and it was immensely triggering for me. She would lose and gain weight and her cycles triggered me. When she did lose weight, I envied her and got tempted to drink shakes instead of eat meals (even though I never would have lasted more than a day!) I had friends who were triggering (they were super thin naturally, had no eating issues and didn't seem to think about food). Being out of my routine was also a big trigger. I felt out of control when I went on vacation, had a social event or was out of town for the weekend.   Because these triggers were right now a part of my life (family, friends, etc), I knew I needed to work through them.   I wanted to be able to see my sister and not binge or go away for a weekend and come back feeling "normal". So I identified all the people, places and things that sent me to the food. And I made a plan for each of them (I did the big triggers, ones I knew were a big deal for me). Before I saw my sister, I would make a plan of what I would do when she made a comment or her weight made me jealous. Plan: Grab my journal and vent my frustrations if I could Go for a walk if I wasn't able to escape to process it Vent to my other sister (about how I was feeling...not about blaming my little sister, as I knew triggers were about ME) Make sure I got 5-10 minutes by myself every day to feel centered while with family Other plans were made for a vacation or a weekend away with a boyfriend. I wrote out responses on index cards to express to my friends how I was feeling if I needed to say why I was triggered/what was wrong. This was SO helpful for me, as I experimented with what would help me take care of myself as I moved through the triggers. (I like to think of triggers as a pointer into where we need to 'work' on ourselves...it's always about OUR own insecurities and fears, reflected back by what someone else is doing or saying). By coming in with some sort of plan, I felt more prepared to know how to handle my emotions so I didn't turn to food. What are your big triggers? Identify them and come up with a 2-4 step plan of what support you'll need in the moment!   5. I Chipped Away at the All-or-Nothing Mindset.   This was a huge one for me (and one I work on with almost every woman who I coach!) We think in black and white: we're either good, we're adhering to something and doing it perfectly. Or we've failed and there's no point in trying. This either/or mindset is a big stumbling block on the path to healing. Why? Because inevitably, we are not perfect and life happens. We planned to eat a salad but go to lunch with a coworker instead. Or we swear we'll cook dinner every night this week but end up being so tired we order out twice. Our promises to ourselves don't always happen (especially when a binge is seemingly out of control--we eat over an emotion, we're rebelling against something, or there is a deeper reason why we turn to food).   Softening the all or nothing mindset into the "gray" area is key on this path.    I did A LOT of self-talk and worked on softening my critical tapes in my mind.  (And boy did I have a lot--I had the most negative thoughts about my body, my self-esteem, my worth, my imperfections, everything). I started by just catching myself when I was thinking this way (things like "oh you blew it, you might as well just finish the whole tray of brownies" or "you ate a handful of chips with your lunch, so you ruined the day already") I also challenged and talked about to them (yes, it sounded like a lot of different voices in my own mind :) ) It required awareness and persistence, but knowing that those thoughts didn't serve me was a huge inspiration to keep moving forward. I WANTED to feel like I could have a positive, balanced view of how I ate. I hated feeling trapped in the black or white mindset. Slowly but surely, I would challenge those thoughts and they shifted over time. (My favorite mantra was "pretty good is perfect"!) Where does this mindset trip you up? Bring awareness to those thoughts and begin to challenge them!   These five steps were immensely helpful in my own "

Written by Jenn Hand, Holistic Nutritionist, Board Certified Health Coach, NBC-HWC Ever wonder about those people who just go through their lives, not worrying about what they're eating? They're the "normal" eaters; the ones who just eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. If you struggle with obsessing over eating, here's how to stop thinking of food and what to do instead!  When I was in high school, I had a close friend who was naturally thin and didn't have any eating "issues" like I had. Debbie was tall, slender and ate like...well, a normal person! I was desperately struggling with weeks of bingeing, followed by weeks of restriction, so I looked to Debbie for inspiration. How did she eat? What were her behaviors around food? I studied her closely. When our group of friends hung out, she would indulge in whatever we all had: chicken fingers and pizza, cookies and chips. (<--how high schoolers eat ;) ) The difference was that she didn't eat a lot of anything. If we had a pasta party for track (the night before the event, the team gets together to "carb load", a sports tradition), she wouldn't only eat garlic bread, spaghetti and cookies. She had some salad, some veggies, and a variety of the food that was offered. And because she was a close friend, I knew she didn't THINK about food all day the way I did. She ate at the pasta party and didn't give it another thought after the evening ended. Me on the other hand? I agonized over how to "save up my calories" leading up to the pasta party, fretted over what to eat when I got there, and hated myself for eating too much post-party. Whereas she didn't think about food at all, I spent all of my waking hours worrying and obsessing over what to eat or not eat. Over the years, I studied "normal" eaters. I learned how they approached food and how they developed a very non-chalant attitude towards what they ate or didn't. From my own experience healing my food issues and working with thousands of other women for the last 9 years, here's how to stop thinking of food and what to do instead:  If you prefer to listen to the podcast, do so here: 1. Make Sure You're Actually Eating Enough   One of the reasons we think about food is when our bodies actually NEED to eat! When we're trying to control our food (or looking to lose weight), we often don't eat enough. Those sneaky diet tapes in our mind think it's better to eat as little as we can and go as long as we can without eating. We may try to be "really good" and not have an afternoon snack, but then arrive famished to dinner (and end up overeating). I did a post on what I eat in a day and many people emailed me to say they were surprised and how MUCH I ate. And my old diet brain says that too :) But that's where my hunger was and I was honoring my body. Our minds very easily can tell us "no, you shouldn't be hungry" or "no, you don't need that snack", when in reality our bodies actually need fuel! Pay attention to how much you're eating and make sure the sneaky diet mindset isn't dictating what you eat :)   2. Add Protein Every Time You Eat   One helpful tip to ensure your body is balanced is to add protein to every meal and snack. Adding in protein (any kind: lean meat and poultry, dairy, vegetarian protein, beans and legumes, protein powders, etc) helps you digest your food more slowly and reduces cravings. Protein is what enables your body to regulate your blood sugar (it prevents a quick spike and crash when you just eat a simple carb) and then helps you feel more even-keeled. You can experiment with different proteins and see how they impact your hunger/satiation levels. I still notice that when I eat more protein (i.e. eggs and toast for breakfast vs a bagel with butter), I'm way less cranky, can last longer without another meal, and feel much more balanced.   3. Aim for Satisfaction   This is the cardinal sin when you're in the diet world. Being satisfied with what you eat is non-existent (you follow a plan or regime no matter what it tells you to eat) and is almost blasphemy. I did a talk a few years ago at a gym and I remember many of the people in the audience were so perplexed at this concept. They didn't understand why it was so important. When you're satisfied with what you're eating, you can leave the table and not think about food again until you eat next. But when we eat according to rules and strict do's/don'ts, we are eating from our minds, not our bodies. (And usually we aren't very satisfied). When you eat things you like, it's a game changer. I did a retreat a few years ago and one of the women said to me, " I have no idea what I like to eat. I've spent my whole life following rules, I literally don't know what I want". This is normal when we've spent a long time NOT knowing what we find satisfying. Explore this concept to see what you find satisfying. Some questions to help: What do you like eating? What feels energizing to your body? If you didn't have a rule about what to eat for this meal, what would you pick? What do I find satisfying? (And if that word doesn't resonate--explore nourishing, nutritious, enjoyable, energizing, etc!)   4. Explore the Secret Diet Mentality   Often times we think we're being "really healthy", when in fact, we're restricting or eating too much from a rule based mentality.  The mind is a sneaky little devil :) When we restrict in any way, our bodies always end up overcompensating (we overeat, binge or end up eating more, later). I still find this naturally in my life: when I'm sick and don't eat much, my appetite comes back like a lion when I'm better. When I've been busy with a day or outside on a weekend and don't eat as much, I find I'm extra hungry later in the day. It's just our bodies balancing themselves out. So if we restrict on purpose (or because we have that sneaky diet mindset embedded in our brains), it can make us think about food MORE than we normally would. Explore what rules you're following or where your mind is telling you to eat less. This helps bring awareness so we can soften and release those rules :)   5. Bring Yourself More Towards the Middle of the Pendulum   One of my favorite analogies on this path is the concept of a pendulum. When you're dieting (using willpower, restricting, being super disciplined) you're on one side. It's too much effort to keep it there, so it swings to the other side (overeating or bingeing). Once we are there, we want to reign it back in by swinging it again to the dieting side. But this is where the breakthrough can happen! If we work to move towards that middle instead of going back on a diet (where we're working on finding our "normal"), it leads to less and less obsessing over food. The middle can be scary, as it's unfamiliar and new. But this is where the magic happens--by continuing to work to find the "middle" (where you're not swinging in between the extremes), food starts to become a lesser part of your day (instead of the entire focus).   Always Thinking about Food Can Lead to Emotional Eating and Bingeing   One last note to explore... Can you think about food, but in a different way? When we're always obsessing and worrying, that can lead to emotional eating and bingeing. But when we think about food in a way that is a gentle exploration, it can be very helpful. For example, you can "think" about how much you need to plan your meals for the week. That helps you plan trips to the grocery store so you don't end up with nothing to eat after work. You can think about how to approach food when you go away for the weekend. This helps you prepare snacks or look ahead at restaurant options. You can "think" about food in a way that helps you take care of yourself and your body in a loving, kind way.   About the Author:    Jenn Hand has been helping women like you become normal eaters since 2015. She's worked with thousands of women, helping them to balance their bodies, end bingeing, stop obsessing over food, and start feeling amazing again!  As an accredited health coach with a background in nutrition, she knows how to support you into making real positive change that lasts. If you're ready to finally see a lasting change and experience true freedom, click here to schedule a free 20-minute introductory call to see how she can help you become a normal eater!

When we swear off signing up for any program that promises weight loss (aka not dieting and eating normally), we try to banish the weight loss topic from our minds. But if you're not dieting, how do you lose weight? That question often looms in the back of our minds, like a secret desire refusing to be extinguished. We don't want to obsess over weight loss (because we know our old way of dieting/cutting out/following a specific plan doesn't work long term)...   ...but we also have a secret (or not so secret) desire to be a comfortable weight.    So what gives? Is it possible to have the weight loss conversation alongside the "trying to not diet" one? Yes, indeed, it is. Weight comes up in almost every 1:1 conversation I have with clients. Why? Because we typically diet in order to control our weight. Whether it's for health reasons, for comfort reasons, or for body image reasons, size is never far from our minds when we're dieting. At some point on the journey, though, we realize dieting isn't sustainable so we work to "listen to our bodies". And then the desire for weight loss gets squashed, because we don't know how to hold it in tandem with the "trying to eat normally". Well if you struggle with this one, you're in luck!   Today's episode explores the "if you're not dieting, how do you lose weight" conundrum:    PS--the Audiobook is now available! Grab it on over on Audible or Amazon. 

This is the million dollar question in our day to day lives: should you eat what you want or follow a rule? You may think I'm a big advocate of "eat what you want, screw the rules!" but it's not quiiiiiite as simple as that :) Because food is complex and how minds are even more complicated! You know how the food battle goes. Mind #1: "Just allow yourself to have the cookies. You know you want them!" Mind #2: "But you know cookies aren't healthy! Don't do it! You'll get mad at yourself after!" (***I swear there are 27 different minds all within my main mind and it gets damn confusing in there sometimes 🤣) So which mind do you listen to?! Enter today's podcast. It'll give you the "how to" of figuring out whether to eat you want or follow a rule. So let's dive in to the podcast and get you on your way to figuring out which one to choose next time you eat! PS--I have a very in depth "How to Make 'Healthy' Food Decisions" series if you want to explore more!  

I turn 40 today and for some birthday reflection this is part two of the "Decade of Reflection: 40 lessons learned at 40" blog post series. 😉 Part one is here. Part two is below. (If you prefer the "extended" version that's more in depth, check out the podcast below)     So let's dive in for part two: A Decade of Reflection-- 40 Life Lessons at 40 Years Old   21. You can never get it "wrong" because you can never get it done. You'll always be eating, growing, learning, and evolving, so there is no wrong way to do it—only lessons to be learned. ♥️   22. You are enough. Always.   23. You are enough even if you've gained weight, can't lose the baby weight, eat emotionally or ____________ (fill in the blank with whatever you think you need to change to be enough. And see #2 ♥️ )   24. Release the "should's". They get in the way of those whispers deep within.   25. Feeling in "control" around food isn't learned through more rules, willpower or discipline. It's learned in baby steps, as we learn to trust ourselves our food. When you trust fully, you feel in control. (I know, the paradox!)   26. You are allowed to say no (*still working on this one!!)   27. This journey requires immense courage, as it is the path less traveled. Dieting is the "easy" solution to a very complex issue. But the payoff to this lesser traveled path? Deep, lasting change (and a never having to rely on a diet program again!)   28. The biggest paradox on this path is that we don't change and THEN accept. We accept and then we change.   29. Life keeps giving us the same lessons until we learn what we need to learn from them.   30. The only way out of it is through it (an emotion, a challenging time, a hard conversation, etc)   31. Expressing emotions can feel vulnerable, terrifying, liberating and chaotic all at once. But learning to express them is a huge part of learning to let go of coping with feelings by using food.   Need help learning to express and deal with emotions?  Want my 3 best resources to end emotional eating? Click here for all the goodies     32. Our fixation on weight/food/body is always a mask for something deeper. Our food "issue" is black and white--we know how to fix our problem (diet, lose weight, etc). But the bigger issues (eating when we're stressed because we're so busy, feeling overwhelmed with what's on our plate, relationship not working out, a terrible career, etc) are harder, so we distract ourselves with a fixation on controlling food, losing weight, etc.   33. There is no one right way to eat (or to live). The "right" way is what works for YOU.   34. We don't have a happy ending to an unhappy journey. We don't hate our bodies every step of the way, get to the "end" and magically love ourselves (even though this is what we learn in the diet world!)   35. We listen too much to our minds and not enough to our hearts: if that incessant critical voice of "should" in your head quieted down...what would you eat? How would you live?   36. We're taught to run from pain and seek pleasure at all costs. But some of the greatest shifts happen when we stop, pause, and face the thing we've been desperately running from.   37. Doubt means don't. If you feel doubt, pause, breathe and see where you're being guided instead.   38. Our busy-ness can be a distraction from....ourselves. We can be terrified to be alone with our thoughts and feelings so we distract (food, phone, etc). But the courage to be alone in silence is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give to yourself.   39. We are all secretly afraid we are not enough; this is the human condition. We're all feel imposter syndrome, we all worry what people think about us (or our weight, our parenting, our clothes, etc) (But see #2 and 3!)   40. Happiness isn't something we "reach" or "get". It's something that happens in the little moments, day in and day out   What are your favorites? Share below; I'd love to hear 🙂 

I turn 40 in two weeks and with that comes much reflection :) For whatever reason, this birthday is making me think and reflect on my life more than ever before. It may be because my life looks different than I thought (more on that in perhaps a different post!), but I'm not sure.   Regardless, I wanted to share some short and sweet lessons I've learned thus far (many of them related to this food/body/weight journey).   (If you prefer the "extended" version that's more in depth, check out the podcast below)     So let's dive in: A Decade of Reflection: 40 Life Lessons at 40 Years Old   You will never not be afraid when you reach the edge of your comfort zone (and if you're living as a human on earth, you will be led to the edge again and again...)   That voice that whispers inside your soul that won't go away? Listen—it's your intuition speaking.   When you're spiraling around in your mind with indecision (around what to eat, what job to take, where to move, etc), pick ANYTHING. Deciding and doing will always give you feedback for next time.   Listening to your heart rarely makes sense to your mind. Follow it anyway… it always knows.   If you wait to reach your goal weight before you're happy with yourself, the goal inevitably changes.   People will judge you. It's ALWAYS about them, not you.   The battle with food is the doorway into some of life's greatest discoveries about yourself. (I know, so annoying when you're struggling. And so deeply true)   There will never be a time when you "fix" your body on the outside so that you like what you see in the mirror. It always comes from within first.   Dieting will never bring us what it is we desperately seek: a deep level of trust with ourselves around food.   Always question the status quo and how "things have always been done".   Your one job on earth is to keep becoming more of who you really are.   True joy comes from creating YOUR own life path; not following someone's expectations of you.   Bingeing is always a pointer into "what is it that I'm hoping this food will do for me"?   We always want to just "get there" already. Except there isn't any there to get to.   Don't ask for permission, just go for it. So often when we wait, we overanalyze, we wait for permission and then… that choice may pass. But what if you didn't ask for permission and just jumped in instead? Go on that trip, book the class, sign up for the thing that scares you. I've never regretted something I did—only what I didn't do.   So much of anxiety comes from an internal misalignment—a not being true to YOU. It's a sign, a guidepost for you to see where you aren't being authentically yourself.   Emotions are not good or bad, they just are. What if you looked at sadness, happiness, fear, loneliness, passion, and anger all as just the emotional experiences of being a human being?   Foods are not good or bad, it's just what works for YOUR body. The less we judge and label our foods, the less we judge and label ourselves.   Asking the question "what do I really, really, really want" can (and will) change the trajectory of your life.   Criticism and self-loathing never changes our habits. We are convinced we have to have more discipline, more willpower and more rigidity to change, when in reality it's kindness, curiosity and compassion that shifts us towards what we deeply desire.   Part two coming next week!   What is one (or more) life lesson you've learned on this path so far? I'd love to hear :)   

If you struggle with overeating in social situations, you are not alone. I was recording my book for Audible and so many of my stories involved food anxiety and fear around upcoming events, dinners out, happy hours and other social situations where there's food (although, that's almost every social gathering!)   How do you feel in control when you're out socially and not overeat?    Today's podcast will teach you how! If you say no to social invitations in fear that you'll overeat, this is a good one to keep on hand to help you have some tools in your back pocket.   If you struggle with overeating in social situations, tune in to today's podcast for some tips to help!

I was reading my book aloud for its Audible recording this weekend, and I got super in my head about it. (Mainly, it brought up some shame around food habits and what I used to do with food). Writing my story in a book was one thing; reading it out loud when a sound engineer was sitting right there was another thing :) Often times, what we do with food can bring up a lot of shame and embarrassment. We want to hide--eat in secret, pretend we eat a certain way in front of others, or plan to eat something without others knowing. Or maybe we've engaged in some habits that we don't want anyone to know about (picking something out of the trash, finishing the cake that was supposed to be for someone else, sneaking the rest of a coworker's candy, etc) and we get embarrassed.   If you ever wrestle with this, here are a few things to keep in mind on how to release shame around food habits:   1. Bring It to Light   I used to hide everything I did—eating in secret, bingeing after everyone went to bed, dressing so I covered my body. All of the "hiding" made me even more ashamed. The more I kept it secret, the more embarrassed I was about what I did. It's the darkness in which we put our shame that keeps it within us. How can we bring a little bit of it to light? Maybe you share something vulnerable with your spouse, best friend or sister. Or you tell someone about the journey you're on and your struggles. Or maybe your "sharing" is your journal because you're not ready to say it out loud yet. Whatever it is, bring a little bit of light to the hiding, the secrets. The light always dispels the darkness that surrounds our shame. (Prefer to listen to the expanded version? Check out the podcast below)   2. Know We All Have Our Own Secrets   When I first started my blog, I wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out again. I did NOT want anyone to read it. I wanted to share my story and help other women, but I didn't want anyone to know what I did with food. Once my blog started to gain traction, I had people come out of the woodwork to tell me they struggled with food, body image issues, and disordered eating. Some people were still struggling, others had healed from it. I was amazing at how many people I know in the world (acquaintances, people I worked out with, Facebook friends from high school, etc) who reached out to me to share their "secrets". We all have things we are ashamed of. Except we think no one else does because no one talks about it out loud! But they do. We all do. Rest assured that you are not the only one.   3. Be Extra Kind   A part of making embarrassment worse is thinking we "shouldn't" feel what we feel. We feel shame over what we did with food or around something we ate, and then we berate ourselves for feeling embarrassment. (Or just think "get over it, it's fine" or something along those lines). Where can be create some extra compassion for yourself? Can you create a post it note affirmation? A note on your mirror? A nourishing song to listen to? Reach into the depths of your "kindness" reservoir and dig deep to bring some extra love to yourself. I like to think that kindness, light and sharing are the antidotes to shame :)    4. Let Go of What People Think   When I was reading the chapter in my book where I talk about stuffing my face with peanut butter, inhaling Reese's cups (describing a binge I had)…I felt myself get all hot, bothered and embarrassed. The sound engineer who was working his magic on my recording was right in front of me listening. "Does he think I'm super weird?!" I thought. "What if he doesn't know what bingeing is and thinks I'm gross for doing those things with food?!" I kept thinking about what HE was thinking… (And honestly, he probably wasn't even thinking anything because he was immersed in making sure the sound levels were right :) ) A big part that contributes to shame is what OTHERS will think of us. We fear what they think, so we hide it. How can we make what others think less important? (I know, easier said than done!) But it's worth paying attention to and being aware of how much we're letting our fear of judgement take over our minds.   5. Use Your Breath to Release the "Shame" Energy   When I could feel the embarrassment creep into my body yesterday, I started really breathing into it. I took a quick break and went outside to take some deep breaths and feel the feeling of shame/hotness/wanting to hide. It felt sort of tingly in my chest and made my body feel hot/fiery. It helped to dissipate the emotion to release it. Your breath is like magic when it comes to releasing an emotion. I try to picture inhaling and expanding my whole self, then as I exhale, I envision a release of where the emotion feels like its stuck in my body. This may be helpful when you feel that shame energy arise. Which one to help release shame around food habits most resonates with you? Feel free to let me know :)