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The "F" It Diet Radio

Author: Caroline Dooner

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This podcast is for chronic dieters who want support navigating diet culture, and learning to eat normally. This is the way to heal "food addiction". Episodes have a mixture of advice, support, storytelling, listener Q and As, interviews, and some fun miscellaneous stuff. The F It Diet is more radical than intuitive eating. This is NOT YOUR MOM'S INTUITIVE EATING.
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Here is another podcast episode with life updated and answering your questions!!!!I'm going to take a 3 month podcast hiatus to focus on The F*ck It Diet Book Club, see you at the end of the summer!
My Book is Out! (+ Q&As)

My Book is Out! (+ Q&As)

2019-04-1200:39:04

IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ME YELLING ABOUT IT ALL OVER MY CORNERS OF THE INTERNET, MY BOOK IS OUT! You find lots of purchase links here (or read the beginning for free).Today... there's no new post. Just a new podcast episode where I ramble, tell you to buy my book, and answer some listener questions! ENJOY.
Lots of people have been asking me: "Is TFID the same as Intuitive Eating?"It is and it isn't. They have the same goal: body trust, appetite trust, and food trust, with different ways of teaching and explaining how to get there.A lot of my writing over the years has talked about how I turned (what I thought was) "intuitive eating" and "listening to my body" into a diet. I turned it into a weird stressful attempt to eat the smallest amount possible. I interpreted good advice through a fat-phobic, food fearing, diet culture belief system.Lots of people do the same thing I did: they take good advice and twist it into a diet that they convince themselves is not a diet, because they let themselves eat a few squares of dark chocolate 3 times a week! Moderation is intuition! Right?! (UGH!)But... the more I've been asked to answer if TFID is the same as intuitive eating, the more I realize it's important to reflect on how I've referred to IE over the past seven years of writing this site, as well as in my book that's coming out in less than a month.First of all, Intuitive Eating is a book written by two registered dietitian nutritionists, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, that came out in 1995. The book is revolutionary in its genre and field, completely evidence based, and I recommend you read it.However, my experience with official Intuitive Eating and the official Intuitive Eating book is actually pretty limited, which means the way that I've referred to it (or not referred to it) should probably be examined. In fact, the book Intuitive Eating and Geneen Roth's books are mixed up in my mind at this very moment as I write this. Maybe that's because there is a hunger scale in both of them? (And I DEF turned that hunger scale into a diet.)I only read Intuitive Eating book once, when I was 18. And I'm not positive if I even finished it because I became a raw vegan 2 weeks later.I obsessively dieted as a teenager. I went on every fad diet that existed at the time. It was disordered, it was extreme, and I felt more and more and more out of control with food the more I dieted. When I read the book Intuitive Eating, it was the first time I realized that my dieting was dysfunctional. Before then, I thought that this was just the way it had to be. I remember the book really spoke to me.But I still didn't fully understand how deep it all went for me: culturally and metabolically and emotionally and on and on. And I didn't see how messed up my relationship was with weight, and how that was actually the core of the whole thing.I needed very, very explicit instructions to F*** IT: f*** all diet and weight loss noise, and be willing to gain weight and take up space and be angry and prioritize my mental health over my desire to be a pretty little thing. But I was also young, and clearly needed to suffer a little more before I really understood that dieting was always going to backfire.(***I bleep curse words for iTunes)Weeks after reading the book, and just a few weeks before I went off to college, my mom told me she had cancer, and we both became raw vegan to try and heal all of our earthly ills (it didn't work) (my mom is fine, but not because of raw veganism, she ditched it soon after starting chemo) (also, I have complex feelings about pharmaceutical companies too, but raw veganism was still not the answer).(Yes I was a raw vegan in freshman year of college.)I was raw vegan for almost a year - and then after I realized it wasn't "working" (read: I was less healthy, starving all the time, horrible skin, horrible digestion, and crazier than ever around food), I started trying to "eat intuitively" again... for 6 years. My general idea was that if I could listen to my body, and "not eat too much," that that was intuitive. But I didn't revisit the book, instead, for six years I did some version of "listening to my body sooooo closely and constantly trying to eat the smallest amount possible".
I started writing about how to heal from disordered eating and body hatred seven years ago, back when I was f---king* sick of being afraid of rice, and being full, and gaining weight. My life was hijacked by the obsession with beauty and thinness and health and purity. And I was f---ing over it.I didn't start this website to become instagram famous or become a "thought leader" or "influencer" in this space. (Ew?) I didn't set out to work with people or run groups. And I definitely didn't think I was going to have a book coming out on not-dieting. I was just a writer --and I was anonymous for the first three years.I was just f---ing exhausted of diet culture and my own f---ing brain and I felt very strongly that I needed to write about it, for my own sake, on a little blog that no one read.I was writing about what I was applying to myself as I clawed my way out of the miserable hole I was in. We all just needed to f---ing eat and rebel against absurd body standards.I kept writing, and learning, and eating, and writing. Eventually I put together workshops and courses, teaching some of the ways I helped myself process fear and resistance and diet culture. I've always had a special interest in the way we avoid our bodies, and our emotions, and our humanity, plus all of the subconscious cultural beliefs we are operating under that need to GTFO.My "expertise" is on how we are afraid of our hunger - and how that will always mess up our eating. And a huge part of that, if not the core underlying factor, is our fear of our bodies, and our cultural fear of, and misconceptions about, fatness. That's always been clear to me: Fat-phobia is the reason we are messed up around food, and the reason we fear gaining weight above anything else.But still, no matter how much I care, or how important it is to me: I will always inherently have blind-spots in writing about the full scope of these issues, because of my many privileges. It's just a fact.I am not an ultimate authority on body image, body acceptance, body positivity, or fat liberation, even though I know how important those things are.My thin privilege inherently becomes one of my shortcomings on this subject. In the BIG PICTURE, me learning to accept my body isn't really that radical, because I have always naturally been on the thinner side. And even when I've yo-yo'd A LOT, I've always had thin privilege.A thin girl saying: "stop dieting! we should be allowed to get full and gain weight" feels safer to people. (But still ...not that safe. People still tell me I am giving dangerous irresponsible advice). But if I were fatter saying the exact same thing, so many more people would say: "Woa woa woa, stop trying to make excuses for your lack of willpower and laziness. Stop 'glorifying obesity'. Stop leading people into disease." And then they'd probably tell me to die of heart disease along with other explicit and aggressive threats.I have always been able to say things that people in larger bodies also say, and people listen to me, because they assume TFID is "working" for me, because I am thin. And this is based on major misinformation about how much control we have over our weight, and what weight means about us and about our health and our habits... and all the other s#@t our culture teaches about fatness.So that is one of the first problematic things - I have been given a voice and a platform because of the systemic prejudice I am trying to talk about - the assumptions we make about people based on their size. The assumption that I'm doing something right, and that fatter people are doing something wrong.Also, TFID is meant to be for every body and every size: the instructions are the same. But one piece of those instructions is to rebel against societal beauty standards, and a fat person learning to rebel against society will experience a lot more pain and pushback than me being like, "oh,
Isn’t This Irresponsible?

Isn’t This Irresponsible?

2019-01-0200:31:20

Some people assume that The F*ck It Diet is unnecessarily extreme.They assume it's a steady diet of donuts, McDonald's, and fried ice cream for the rest of our short little lives. That we're a group of lazy anarchists who are reveling in our newfound food-related health problems, and not taking any personal responsibility for our health, and who refuse to make any attempts at self-improvement.Or they think: Why can't we just be balanced? Why can't we just enjoy cake every so often but mostly try to eat a healthy, moderate diet?The answer is because: we've tried that.Also, chronic dieting is somewhere on the eating disorder spectrum, so for people who've become obsessed with dieting, trying "to be balanced" doesn't work. It doesn't heal us. And ironically, it perpetuates feeling totally out of control with food.There is nothing wrong with true balance, but for many people, "just trying to be balanced" becomes the new diet. Not to mention that after years of restriction and dieting, balance is eating a hell of a lot, for a good chunk of time.The beautiful thing I found, once I truly allowed myself to eat with total abandon, is that my body actually spoke up. After years of bingeing and restricting and bingeing again, once I stopped judging myself for eating and stopped trying to micromanage my weight, my body actually finally felt fed, and my lifelong food obsession melted away.Note: I never thought that could happen. I thought I was born a food addict, and would die a food addict.The F*ck It Diet is the (seemingly) counter-intuitive way to stop feeling insane around food. Allowance paves way for easier, nourishing health choices, and getting in tune with what your body wants and needs. It's a way to get to a place where you can easily feed yourself a varied diet, without too much overthinking, and get on with your life.However, I know it feels more complicated for some people. I understand why people still fear certain foods, especially if they don't feel well, or if certain foods make them feel sick. And some foods really do make people feel sick. I understand this first hand: wanting to heal your obsession with food and dieting, but wondering if you're actually causing your own pain and misery, and fearing that you need to be avoiding certain foods.And so here are a couple things I want to remind you about food, weight, dieting, and health that may calm you down.The biggest issue with dieting is assuming that weight is the cause of our health problems. That's like blaming coughing for causing your cold. Weight can be symptom of underlying health problems, (and it can also just be... your body). But either way, focusing on weight loss is not your best bet to improve health, not matter what.Stress from weight stigma has also been shown to cause the health problems that are blamed on the weight itself - including increased mortality.The other issue with dieting is assuming that you can't trust your hunger and your appetite, and that the less you eat the better. No. That makes no sense. That is not good for you. That is not supportive of health or a good relationship with food. It's not supportive of a strong metabolism, or good digestion, or good sleep, or anything really.The Fuck It Diet is calorie positive. Calories aren't a problem or the problem. Same with carbs, sugar, fat, and protein. Food is good for us.So... once you can step out of both of those ways of thinking (demonizing weight and demonizing hunger/food) you can eat however makes you feel good. For people who have food sensitivities or who feel better eating a certain way, you can do whatever feels good and right, as long as you have healed your relationship to food and weight. Does that make sense?And once you have healed your relationship to food, if a certain food makes you feel terrible, you can re-evaluate your relationship to it. Do you want to eat it if it makes you feel bad?
I am in the last stages of finalizing my book, and I just found a glaring error about weight and starvation which shows my bias and assumptions about weight.In the book I wrote that if a famine never ended, you would eventually become emaciated and die.BUT THAT ISN'T TRUE.If a famine never ended, you could still die in 8-12 weeks, even if you're fat, because your body would break down your muscles to convert to ketones to keep your brain and body running, and in the absence of food, would weaken your heart so much that you'd die. If you still had some access to food, and were eating only a little, the same thing could happen, just slower.You can also die just from not having the electrolytes to keep your heart working.You will die from malnutrition whether you are skinny or fat.And if you don't need to be skinny to die of starvation, guess what the fuck that means about dieting? Still think weight and weight loss are fully within our control?!?!Also, the fact that I had it wrong in my book (a book that talks a lot about how weight stigma affects our relationship with food) is scaryyyyyy to meeee. It also just goes to show how deep weight stigma and weight assumptions run.(And yes, I just emailed my editor in a panic that this HAD TO BE CHANGED, even though it is VERY last minute.)So while we are at it, let's talk about some more weight facts:You can have anorexia in a fat body.Anorexia does not make everyone skinny.You can still be fat even if you barely eat anything.You will still experience the same effects of starvation and malnutrition, no matter what your external weight set point is.A person's weight does not give you any information about how they eat or their health.Our weight is not really as easily manipulated and controlled as we think - we have weight set ranges that are set by genetics. The body does not want to be above or below our particular range.Most (if not all) weight loss studies have only looked at the short term results. And the ones that have looked at long term results have seen weight regain and poorer health because of the diet and weight cycling and stress/stigma.Every health problem under the sun seems to be blamed on a high weight, but weight is just a scapegoat. Sometimes weight gain is a symptom of other health issues, but blaming the issues on weight is not only missing the mark, but also may be causing the very health problems it claims to be fixing.Yes, weight stigma is terrible for us, and the health problems blamed on weight (including increased mortality!) are more likely caused by the weight stigma itself.Weight stigma is the real national health crisis, not "obesity". "Obesity" being called a health crisis alone is weight stigma - see how cyclical this gets???In addition, weight cycling and dieting are detrimental to our health. Especially yo-yo dieting or restrictive fad diets that are focused on weight loss.People can and do improve their health without losing weight.People also hurt their health by focusing on weight loss.And I haven't even touched on the MENTAL HEALTH ASPECT of weight focus, dieting, weight stigma, and body fixation.I can't believe that I got that tidbit about starvation so so so wrong, even with all of the other things that I know about weight, health, and weight stigma. So here is to doing better, here is to learning, and here is to listening.The truth about weight stigma and fat phobia, is that it permeates the very air we breathe. None of us can avoid it. We all have it and can perpetuate it, even with good intentions, and we need to just be super aware of our assumptions.I've probably missed some other essential facts too, so, message me on instagram and let me know what I'm forgetting about the BASIC PHYSICAL FACTS ABOUT WEIGHT AND WEIGHT STIGMA.Oh and pre-order my book! I promise I'm fixing that mistake! The book tackles weight stigma and diet culture...
Some of the angriest comments I get on instagram are from people who swear that the keto diet is helping them and that I'm soooo incredibly ignorant and/or deceitful for saying that the body prefers carbs.However, for every comment where someone is swearing by keto, there are twenty more comments with people saying that they too tried keto, with hope bursting in their hearts, only to find that after a few months it had fucked up their metabolism, hormones, energy levels, sanity, and has been really hard to recover from, mentally and physically.I've spent a long time trying to decide how to be diplomatic and to not claim to know what's best for everyone's body. Because-- everyone is different. Some people are allergic to fucking tomatoes. We are all different.I'm also not a doctor or nutritionist or dietitian so I have no authority or desire to weigh in on diets that people claim are medically necessary and helpful to them. TFID is concerned with the mental and spiritual ramifications of chronic dieting, it just so happens that there are very physical consequences to dieting, too.So in my attempts to be diplomatic, I say things like: I'm so glad you feel good on keto, but this is an account for people trying to heal from chronic dieting or disordered eating, and your comments about keto do not belong here. And many many people have had opposite experiences on keto.I've also compared keto to wheelchairs or mobility devices. Meaning, just because a select number of people are benefitted (read: children with seizures, maybe), that doesn't mean that it cures any underlying condition, and also doesn't mean that people who don't need keto/mobility devices should be using them, in fact if they do, it will probably make things worse in the long run. (I also asked Anna Sweeney, MS, RD, LDN, CEDRD-S, who uses a wheelchair, if this was a cool comparison and she gave me the green light.)But the most honest thing I can say about the keto diet is: what the fuck do you think I'm going to say? Keto is a very, very restrictive diet, and therefore it has no place in or on or around The Fuck It Diet. It has no place in the lives of people recovering from disordered eating or eating disorders.And if you are someone who is on the keto diet and you feel great, then you don't need the Fuck It Diet either. Why are we fighting? If your diet is truly supporting your mental and physical health: that's great. Round of applause. Most people don't have that experience, and I'd love for you to check in with me in two or three years and tell me how you're doing, too.More frankly: I don't care how you eat, Pamela. Eat a no-carb-diet to your heart's content. I have no desire to evangelize you. If it is 'working' for you - I'm not going to try and tell you it's not working.If you want to know what I think, the short term "benefits" of the keto diet, and any diet for that matter, are just that: short term. The long term effects can be physically and mentally devastating, and have yet to be truly studied.So, where does this leave us?Do you need to do keto?If you want to recover from chronic dieting: NO. HELL NO.But could keto cure your chronic health problems? Probably not. It was shown to help children with epilepsy in the 1920s, but it still comes with side effects (kidney strain, hypoglycemia, dehydration, GI issues, etc). Are those side effects worth it for kids with epilepsy? Yes! Potentially! Is it the cure-all that people claim it is? I don't think so.Will keto help you lose weight?Temporarily, yes. Like all diets. But now we are getting into our usual TFID rigemroll. Diets backfire longterm. It's how we are wired. And, diets and weight loss can actually negatively impact health, against all our cultural common knowledge. We are all confused about weight loss and health. We are assuming weight loss is always good for us - often it's not .But more importantly,
Lots of people ask me, “ok -- I can get behind the “no dieting” thing, but aren’t there foods that are inherently … shitty? Shouldn’t I still avoid shitty food, even while I’m “not dieting”?Here's the thing -  and it's important: If I told you stop dieting but to try and avoid or even limit “shitty food,” that would first of all, be a rule, which is a diet, which would turn into restriction in many people’s heads and fuck up their eating anyway.But people would also think, oh jeez… So there IS food that I should be eating and food I shouldn’t be eating? But which food is shitty food? I thought we were neutralizing food? What will happen to me if I do eat it? If it's a sometimes thing, how often is it okay to eat shitty food? Should I really just avoid shitty food always?  And that way of thinking is not the Fuck It Diet, and it will not help you.Look, let me play devil's advocate with myself. If we zoom way out: We have polluted our planet and our food and our water and our air and our soil and our homes. We have. It’s a fact. It goes way, way deeper than food or packaged food or "shitty food". There are way worse things in the air than whatever food additive you're afraid of or whatever fried food you're avoiding. Pollution is everywhere. I could make you afraid of drinking water and taking a breath and taking a shower. But that would not help you. You could easily spend every moment of your day thinking about it and worrying about it and trying to avoid all pollution - but you cannot avoid it. You can’t. It’s a dark reality.I actually care deeply about environmental sustainability, and cleaning up our planet, but I also care deeply about helping people heal disordered eating and restore their mental health and quality of life, and focus on resilience instead of fear.In a way, pollution and disordered eating are both issues of quality of life, and they aren’t mutually exclusive. You can feed yourself organic foods when you want or when it is possible, you can vote with your dollar, (if you have the luxury and privilege of being able to afford it), you can volunteer for environmental sustainability groups and charities, and eat packaged snacks when that’s what you crave, or when that’s all that’s available.We can and should be able to do both.Food perfectionism has gotten you nowhere. Stress over the food you eat is arguably worse for you than the food itself. Stress has been shown to change gut microbiota, can shut down or slow digestion, and raise inflammation. The lining of the gut is literally a part of our nervous system, and every process in our body is interconnected. Stress physically affects your body, your nervous system, and your bodily functions and processes.On the other hand, under calmer circumstances, our bodies are wired and equipped to take the good from food and process out the bad. These are all reasons to just surrender during this process and let yourself eat whatever food you want, “whole” or “shitty” or somewhere in between.Fuck it, listen to your body, and eat the funfetti.
Maintaining a low weight is one of my core values. How am I supposed to be happy if I sacrifice one of my core values?I have heard something like this again and again, and I think... maintaining a low weight is one of your core values? Like treating others the way you’d want to be treated and being honest?Maintaining a low weight is not a core value. It’s a fear-based ingrained societal standard, created to make money off of your insecurities. Keeping your weight below where it wants to be relies on fear and fixation. The only thing we like about it is the high of fitting in, getting praise, feeling safe, and the temporary relief that comes when we reach a goal weight. Whew, now everyone will leave me alone and approve of me. Now I’llllll leave me alone.That's until it isn’t good enough anymore, or we gain it back and feel horrible about ourselves, and the cycle continues.Better focuses like health, self-care, movement, eating what feels good, and dressing yourself in clothes you like aren’t even core values. They are, however, awesome ways to take care of yourself. Feeling healthy and strong and embodied is a perfectly legitimate desire or goal, but living in a constant food and weight obsession is not.“Staying healthy and thin/fit” as a core value also relies on the belief that health and weight are fully within your control, and that controlling your food and weight will actually lead to better health - all things that that have been proven untrue. Goals and core values that are more self-loving and self-forgiving will almost certainly end up being better for your overall health anyway.A core value that’ll serve you better is “prioritizing your needs” or “taking care of yourself,” and if you have a weight obsession or eating disorder, prioritizing your needs is gonna look a lot like The Fuck It Diet and eating what you want.You have every right to remain someone who judges your daily worth based on your weight, but it’s not gonna be fun for very long.
How expensive is this whole thing? I am just supposed to let myself eat anything, anytime, anywhere? How can I afford this? Will I spend all my money out at restaurants? Or will I have to make everything at home?! How do I grocery shop now that nothing is off limits? How will I know what I’m going to crave in a few days?Woa! Calm down! First of all, there is nothing more expensive than being on a diet. Diet food and low-calorie food is often marked up to be way more expensive than normal food (when most normal food is more filling because it usually has more calories).But yes, staying alive on enough food costs money. And you’ll need to prioritize that if you want to heal. Frugality is sometimes a necessity but beware of the irrational fear of spending money on food. I’ve known people who had that as part of their disordered eating. Someone I knew in college refused to eat any food unless it was free and they didn’t have to pay for it. It was an eating disorder, but they were able to formally call it a financial decision.Everyone on TFID will be in totally different financial situations, so, like all things, it will need to be tailored to what you can access and afford.And when I say eat whatever you want, in any quantities, I don’t mean that if you crave a lobster feast and strawberry shortcake at 11 am in the middle of winter, that you need to go get that for yourself. I mean… you can, but you also can and should satiate your hunger and cravings with what’s around, and what you can afford. Maybe you can compromise with some lemony, buttery seafood for dinner, with some sort of cake or cookie and fruit.If you have never grocery shopped for what you want, as opposed to what is on your diet, there is going to be a learning curve. You are going to have to try things out. Get things you think you’ll like. And next week, edit your choices depending on what you learned, what you liked, didn’t like, what you wanna try and have around this week. Or try going food shopping more often. If you’re looking for cheap ways to make sure you get in lots of calories, look to build meals around rice and potatoes, bread and peanut butter and cheese. See? Can’t do that on your diet.It’s that simple. But I get it, I am a terrible grocery shopper, and also a really basic cook. But my first two years of The Fuck It Diet included a lot of sourdough bread and cheese, avocado toast, and granola and ice cream. So much ice cream that my original secret Fuck It Diet pen name was Caroline Haagen (as in Haagen Dasz ice cream brand). Now I sometimes make elaborate vegetable stews from scratch.If you are like most people and can’t afford to eat your favorite foods out at restaurants all the time, welcome to the world. You need to learn to cook the things you like and save eating out for special occasions. Or just eat sourdough sharp cheddar grilled cheeses for a year like me. If you’re cooking for a family, navigating your cravings with your kids and partner will probably always be hard, but maybe now that you can eat Macaroni and Cheese, some nights will get easier.And you may not always have what you crave in your pantry, so you’ll either go out and get it, or make do with what you do have. If you can make grilled cheese, you can do this. I believe in you.
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Comments (2)

C D

Too much rambling....

May 31st
Reply

Cherry Keel

God bless! You have an amazing voice!

Feb 22nd
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