Adoption Wise

Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son's mental illness affected her health, and how she's overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Amber on Instagram Join Reclaim Compassion

Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn: highlights for Family Systems theory a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United Methodist minister, holds a secular PhD in Family Science, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher in the Western Buddhist tradition. He currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For over two decades, Andy advocated for justice, fairness, equity, and inclusiveness in the Dallas area in the areas of public education, fair employment, healthcare access, and housing justice. In his free time, he co-hosts a parenting podcast with a psychologist and pediatrician called “Parenting for the Present." Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Andy on Instagram Parenting for the Present podcast Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue* by Edwin H. Friedman Bowen Theory's Secrets* by Michael Kerr The Bowen Center on Youtube A Family Genogram Workbook* by by Israel Galindo, Elaine Boomer, and Don Reagan *this is an affiliate link

Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum #33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption #121: An Introduction to Trauma & Tension Release Exercise (TRE) with Christa Bevan FREE Facebook Group   * this is an affiliate link

Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah's Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing. Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and foster care. They are also loving their newest roles as grandparents to two little ones! Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Jonah's Journey

One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their "relationship bucket" in order to maintain compassionate parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join Reclaim Compassion Join our free Facebook group House of Eve* by Sadeqa Johnson * this is an affiliate link

This week we answer listener questions such as: What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder? What if things don't get better? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links PDA Masterclass Melissa's Ted Talk on Redefining Success The Gap and the Gain Podcast

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate New York where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Justice for Orphans Sandra's Blog Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach *this is an affiliate link

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate NY where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Justice for Orphans Sandra's Blog Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach *this is an affiliate link

Last year's reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we're back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions: Describe a moment of clarity in 2023 Name something that became newly important to you in 2023 What is one new thing you want to explore in 2024 What do I have right now that, five years ago, I only dreamed about having? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Centering Prayer MP3 Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.

Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process. Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Blocked Care 101 Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith*  by Qualls and Corkum Join Reclaim Compassion Free Blocked Care Assessment *this is an affiliate link

In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for nervous system care to maintain resilience. Through her personal experiences and growth, Angela offers hope to listeners, emphasizing that while it might get worse before it gets better, it's entirely possible to navigate the challenges of parenting children with complex needs while taking care of yourself and learning to understand blocked care.​ Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links For the Sake of One Website FREE Blocked Care Assessment Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum *this is an affiliate link

Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about the importance of neurodevelopmental movements and how they can help with anxiety disorders; sensory issues; overwhelm; and fight, flight and freeze states. Sonia Story developed the Brain and Sensory Foundations curriculum to provide comprehensive training in the use of neurodevelopmental movements for addressing sensory, learning, physical, behavioral, emotional, social, and speech challenges. Since 2006, she has been working with children, parents, and professionals in hands-on sessions and training courses. Sonia’s courses are approved for professional continuing education for occupational and physical therapists, mental health counselors, myofunctional therapists, and massage therapists. Her work has been featured in the books, Almost Autism: Recovering Children from Sensory Processing Disorder; Special Ed Mom Survival Guide; Family Health Revolution; and Same Journey, Different Paths, Stories of Auditory Processing Disorder. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Sonia's website Connect with Sonia on Instagram Slides from Sonia's presentation FREE Resources page for Mental Health Professionals and Parents Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion. You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is never too late to reclaim compassion for yourself and your kids! Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Our new Adoption Wise website Free Blocked Care assessment Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Join our Reclaim Compassion coaching group * this is an affiliate link Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.

Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life. As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30 years. She's the author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. When she is not on the road teaching and lecturing, Suzanne is at home in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry and the Micah Center. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Life in the Trinity Ministry The Enneagram Journey Podcast Ambiguous Loss* by Pauline Boss Healing Through the Dark Emotions* by Miriam Greenspan The Girls Who Went Away* by Anne Fessler *this is an affiliate link

Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn: the neurobiology of shutdown how la-la land is protective how to offer safety and connection Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents.  Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections. What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change.  You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at www.RobynGobbel.com, including her podcast The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn’s first book, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work, will hit bookshelves everywhere September 21, 2023. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Robyn's website Connect with Robyn on Instagram Connect with Robyn on Facebook How to Change People Pleasing Behavior Free Webinar from Robyn The Connected Therapist* by Marti Smith Click here to download the handout for this workshop *This is an affiliate link

This week we answer listener questions such as: How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives? Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers? How do I help my spouse with blocked care? How do I provide choices to a child who doesn't learn from poor ones? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links # 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to know #42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to do

Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance. Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom. Amy has a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership.  She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma.  She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan. ​ Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links The Other Side of Special* by Amy J. Brown, Sara Clime, Carrie M. Holt Connect on Instagram Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group *this is an affiliate link

It's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life. In this workshop, you will learn: importance of Nurture Groups six aspects of a Nurture Group how to implement the components into your family Tristen McGhee is a certified Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Practitioner, adoptive mom, foster/adoptive parent trainer, as well as a trauma-wise parent coach. She has extensive experience working with vulnerable families to find a path of hope and healing. Her passion for helping families and advocating for children with early childhood trauma backgrounds has led to her current enrollment in a graduate program to receive her Master of Education in Trauma and Neuroscience. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Safe Precious Heard Website Connect with Tristen on Instagram Download workshop handout The Connected Parent* by Purvis and Qualls Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops *This is an affiliate link

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. We couldn’t be happier to share this conversation with Melissa Corkum & Lisa Qualls of The Adoption Connection. We have long respected the work these two remarkable women are doing in the world. They are some of our favorite voices, offering hope and encouragement, to adoptive parents and caregivers. They’ve written numerous books, have a fantastic podcast, offer coaching and speaking, and host a beautiful Facebook community of support. They are doing such good and meaningful work in this space bringing decades of personal and professional experience to the equation. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared on the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast. Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group Join our free Facebook group *this is an affiliate link

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. The authors of Reclaim Compassion and hosts of The Adoption Connection podcast, Melissa Corkum (Enneagram 7) and Lisa C. Qualls (Enneagram 3) join Suzanne Stabile and Joel on the Journey. Parenting is HARD Working together as a 3 and a 7 and how they related differently to feelings Blocked care What is hand lettering? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared on The Enneagram Journey Podcast. Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Free blocked care assessment *this is an affiliate link