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The Art of Charm

Author: AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak

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The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

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Some of the most important decisions in your life involve negotiating with someone more experienced than you, so what can you do today to make sure you are well prepared for every negotiation to come? What to Listen ForWhat can you do to make sure you’re not shooting yourself in the foot when negotiating?What is the difference between negotiating from a place of cooperation versus position?How are you killing opportunities by negotiating with a competitive mindset and what mindset should you be negotiating with if you want to get the most out of every negotiation?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and what can you take from it to improve your negotiation skills today?How does pressure work against you in negotiations and what can we do to handle it so it doesn’t have detrimental consequences in the long term?What 3 things are you doing to kill your chances of negotiating a raise?What 3 traits are critical to entering a negotiation that allows for a win-win for all parties involved?What is BATNA and why is your understanding of it crucial if you want to negotiate successfully?How do you develop a bulletproof approach to any negotiation?How do you gain agreement from the other party in a negotiation to decrease the chance of it falling through?When negotiating a raise, what should your first point of agreement be between you and your employer?Negotiating can be both fun and exciting for all parties involved, but it can also be uncomfortable and downright painful. Ideally, we want to avoid the latter, but many of us enter into negotiations from a position that pushes the other party away because we try to come from a place of power and strength. No one wants to be taken advantage of so that is understandable. However, the person we are negotiating with doesn’t want to feel pushed around either, and so a different kind of strength must be used when entering into a negotiation, and that strength comes from a knowledge of what you want as well as what the other person wants. When you do your research and have options, you allow the other party to negotiate with you on what they can offer you versus what you are looking for, rather than saying, “This is what I want and you must give it to me or I’m leaving.” That never ends well for anyone.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order!Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 777: Negotiating: 4 Things You Must KnowHarvard Negotiation ProjectEpisode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision MakingCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
The thought of negotiating can instill feelings of discomfort in many of us because we associate negotiating with trying to create a win for us and a loss for the person we are negotiating with, but how would that change if you had the knowledge and confidence to come up with a win-win for just about every negotiation you entered into?What to Listen ForWhere do the misconceptions surrounding negotiating come from and how can a few simple changes in perception improve your ability to negotiate?What is Prospect Theory and how does it cause you to miss out on great opportunities?What is Positional Bargaining?How are Positional Bargaining and Anchoring connected and how can the connection lead youWhy will we work harder NOT to lose $100 than we will to earn an extra $100?How can you start improving your negotiating ability today?What is the Harvard Negotiation Project and how can you use your understanding of it to create more win-win negotiations?What are the 4 elements of a negotiation we should look at in order to create a win-win outcome for both parties?What are the boundary conditions of a negotation and how can being aware of them prevent you from losing out on great long term negotiation wins?How does focusing on interests rather than bargaining positions lead to a win-win in negotiations?We often feel uncomfortable with negotiating a better deal for ourselves because we believe a better deal for us means a worse deal for the other person. That belief, however, comes from focusing on each person’s bargaining positions rather than our interests. You can do this by focusing on the other person’s interests and what you can offer them that is of little value to you but could be of great value to them. This way you are able to negotiate a win for yourself now while making the immediate loss for the other person worthwhile because of what you can offer that person in another capacity. For example, if you negotiate a discount on a computer repair by offering to write the business owner a great review and tell your friends about them, you are making that discount a win for you and the business owner.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Need a stylish, lightweight, and durable suitcase with a 100-day money-back guarantee? Away creates thoughtful products designed to change how you see the world. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com and use discount promo code CHARM20 during checkout!MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 774: The 3 Most Common Hurdles in Decision Making, And How to Avoid ThemEpisode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and RegretEpisode 694: Becoming High Value Check in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
Finding your voice as an individual is vital to realizing your potential and building a life that allows you to be the best version of yourself, but what does it mean to find your voice, what steps can you take today to discover it, and why will most people die before ever finding their voice?What to Listen ForHow do you define a successful networking event and what can you do to make your next networking event a success?Why is it important to discover your voice and use it to express your thoughts on a regular basis?What can you do to find your voice in a world where most people die without ever finding theirs?How do you deal with the blowback that comes from voicing your opinions and beliefs that some people inevitably won’t agree with?What hurdles do women face in social situations inside and outside of work and what can you do as a woman to overcome those hurdles so you don’t miss out on countless opportunities?How do you handle the gender dynamic as a woman in a leadership/management position when you want to command respect and authority?The more comfortable you become with who you really are and what you believe, the more likely you are to ruffle feathers and offend people. As your work on realizing your potential, your focus should not be on making sure as many people as possible like you or even agree with your ideas. Your focus should be on nourishing the relationships with those around you who value you as an individual for being who you are and standing firm in your beliefs and values.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!MyBookie is THE place to bet on football every weekend - they have live, in-game betting on every NFL game. They’ve got the most rewarding player perks in the business and for you fantasy guys out there, you can even bet the over/under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game. Go to MyBookie.ag and double your first deposit using promo code CHARM to activate the offer.Resources from this Episode773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of CharmCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
The narratives we create for ourselves influence everything from life-changing decisions down to what we eat and how we spend our free time, but what exactly is a narrative and how do you go about creating a positive one that pulls you in the direction you want to go in life?What to Listen ForHow do you justify a career change if you already have the “perfect” job?What is the one thing you take with you every time you leave a job for a new one, and how can you use that to minimize the regret you might feel for leaving a great job?What is a narrative and why are they so influential when it comes to how we think and make decisions?If you feel you are overanalytical, how do you use it as a strength while making sure it doesn’t cripple you in social situations?What can you do to make networking an enjoyable process rather than something you feel like you have to do in order to grow professionally?How do you become more likable as a coworker?Why is likability more important than hard skills when it comes to being promoted in the workplace?What can you do to increase your value if you feel hindered in the dating pool by a disability?What does it mean to hang on to gifts and memorabilia from past relationships and what does it mean to get rid of them?Can you ever truly stop comparing yourself to others or is it human nature?You are what you eat - everything you put in your body either makes you healthier or sicker. The same can be said for your narrative - everything you do either strengthens your narrative or weakens it.For example, if you believe you are not worthy of a promotion at work, you will make decisions every day which strengthen that narrative. However, if you wake up one day and make the choice to believe you are worthy of a promotion, then you can take conscious action to reinforce that narrative by developing positive relationships with your coworkers and supervisors as well as making sure your supervisors know you’re getting the results which make you worthy of the promotion. Over time your belief in yourself will override the narrative that was holding you back and the new positive, healthier narrative will take its place.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Feals is Premium CBD delivered directly to your doorstep. Feals naturally helps reduce stress, anxiety, pain, and sleeplessness. New to CBD? Feals offers a free CBD hotline and text message support to help guide your personal experience. Become a member today by going to Feals.com/CHARM and you'll get 50% off your first order with free shipping.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and RegretEpisode 766: Michael Herold on Facing the Impossible and Beating itCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
We make decisions throughout every single day of our lives, but only a certain type of decision can lead to regret later on, so how can you identify those decisions before you make them, what can you do to minimize or eliminate any regret they may cause, and what can you do to become a better decision-maker?What to Listen ForWhy are some decisions harder than others and how do those decisions make for good self-development?Why do we feel regret and how can we turn it around to use it as a motivator for action?What is opportunity cost, how does it affect our decision-making ability, and how can we eliminate it?What can you do when you find yourself being indecisive without anyone to turn to for help?If you’re an indecisive person, what one thing can you look at in order to better understand the decisions you should make in the future?What is decision fatigue and what can you do to avoid it so it doesn’t lead you to make the wrong decision with long-lasting consequences?What kinds of decisions lead to regret and what kinds do not, and why?Why is attaching a deadline to a decision so helpful in developing good decision-making habits?Why are we wired for indecision and what simple technique can we do to overcome that biological programming?What is the psychological immune system and how does it work in your favor when it comes to how you regret certain types of decisions?Why does a focus on the outcome (of a decision) versus the process (of making that decision) lead to more regret in life?What are the three hidden pitfalls of striving for ideal outcomes?Life is full of decisions, big and small and everything in between, and the ability to make those decisions is a skill just like any other, which means it can be learned, practiced, and improved upon, but it also means it can atrophy if you are indecisive too often and for too long. Indecisiveness is not a desirable trait - it shows people you are not confident in the path you’re walking through in life and you don’t value your time, because for every decision you don’t make, you are wasting time, the most precious resource any of us has because it’s the only one you can’t get more of.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Did you know your teeth move as you get older? Candid - the clear alternative to braces - costs 65% less than braces! Candid has an orthodontist licensed in your state create a treatment plan for you (and Candid only uses experienced orthodontists). You can save thousands of dollars and have straighter, brighter teeth in an average of just six months! Learn more at CandidCo.com/CHARM and use discount code CHARM to get $75 off!Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order!Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and RegretEpisode 773: Eric Weinstein Meets The Art Of Charm. Part 1 (Why we need The Portal)Episode 704: The Bad House Guest: Cognitive DistortionsEpisode 700: The Myth of PerfectionismEpisode 754: Steven Hayes on Why Craving Pain is HumanCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
Technology has an increasing influence on our lives, but did you know even small concentrated doses, such as working all day on a computer (aka a “tech coma”), can have a significant impact on your ability to interact with other people in healthy?What to Listen ForWhat is Eric Weinstein trying to do with his new podcast and why should you listen to it?What does the world of professional wrestling know about psychology that most psychology professors and researchers don’t?What is the Intellectual Dark Web (IDW) and what can you learn from about how to have a constructive conversation with people you disagree with?How do you break through disinformation when you’re constantly surrounded by “fake news”?How do you draw a boundary with your personal life if you have a life in the public eye?How is immigration being used to transfer wealth from one group to another and why should we restrict it?How do you take a platform’s algorithm into account when deciding where to get your news and information?How can you become a critical consumer of information in an era driven by narratives and algorithms?Are you defenseless in today’s day and age of corporations tasking incredibly smart individuals to do just about anything to get your attention, even if it means complete fabrication of events?How do you approach conversations when you know you’re going to disagree with the other person?What is bad diversity and how does it distract us from having otherwise constructive conversations?What is a tech coma, how do you know if you are in one, and how does it cause atrophy of your social muscles?How can perfectionism hurt the pursuit of your goals and what can you do if you feel you are a perfectionist?As technology continues to permeate our everyday existence, it can be easy to let slip the skills that really matter when it comes to living healthy and happy lives. Humans are social creatures, and we rely on social interaction to bring us some of the most meaningful experiences and emotions while we’re alive. Unfortunately, with the way we have developed various technological systems, we are building walls between each of us while claiming the screens on those walls make us more connected than ever. A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.Clearbanc is changing the way entrepreneurs raise money with equity-free capital. They charge a small flat fee for the capital, and you pay them back using a win-win rev share. If you are doing over ten thousand a month in revenue, find out how you can receive Clearbanc capital by getting your 20-minute term sheet at clearbanc.com/CHARM.Resources from this EpisodeThe Portal - a podcast by Eric WeinsteinEric Weinstein on TwitterEric Weinstein on YouTubeNews Diffs - Tracking Online News Over TimeEpisode 772: Dan Ariely: How to Defeat Indecision and RegretSave the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever NeedCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
The harder a decision seems to be for people, the less likely it is that we will spend enough time researching it in order to determine what to do - but why is that, how should we handle the component of time when it comes to waiting to make decisions, and what can you do to eliminate the fear of regret in your life?What to Listen ForWhy do we spend a lot of time researching insignificant decisions and little time researching significant decisions?How can you approach life-changing decisions from a neutral point of view so you can make the decision for the right reasons?How do does action versus inaction affect our likelihood to regret a certain event and how can you change your perspective in order to eliminate regret?How do we take time into account when deciding how much time to spend researching minor and major decisions?What are the three types of decisions and how can your awareness of each one help you to avoid wasting valuable timeWhat is anchoring and how does it affect our decision making as we make decisions that build on one another and how can your awareness of it prevent you from falling into an unhealthy trap?What are market norms and social norms and how do they affect your willingness to oblige someone’s request for help?How do market norms reduce the trust between people and turn relationships into economic transactions?We make decisions that affect our lives every single day. Some decisions are small, some are big, and some are repeated on a regular basis. Unfortunately, we only have so much time to think about these decisions so it can save us a lot of time if we at least understand how to approach each one. Small decisions, like what movie theater to go to or what appetizer to get, should take the least amount of our time since they impact our lives the least, and our time is better spent being present or contemplating more important decisions. Big decisions, like where to live or who to marry, should necessitate more time as they will have lasting effects on our lives. And lastly, decisions that are made regularly, like your morning routine or what to eat each day, should be automated as much as possible to reduce the drain on your willpower so that it can be used for resource-intensive tasks like work, or studying, or solving complex problems in your life. We only have so much time to live - don’t waste it on unimportant issues in your life.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Lumen5 is empowering everyone with the ability to create short-form videos in a matter of minutes. You can transform an article, blog post, or text message into a video. Enter your text and the Lumen5 A.I. will help you summarize your content, and automatically match it with videos and photos. Right now Lumen Five has a special offer just for you! Go to lumen5.com/charm and you’ll get 50 percent off your first month.Resources from this EpisodeDan ArielyDan Ariely on FacebookDan Ariely on TwitterDan’s podcast Arming the DonkeysPredictably Irrational by Dan ArielyThe Upside of Irrationality by Dan ArielyThe (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty by Dan ArielyAmazing Decisions by Dan ArielyThe Art of Charm Bootcamp in ViennaCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
Most of us will never undergo professional training in the world of improve and yet we engage in improv almost every day because life is improv - so why should you consider taking an improv class, how does improv relate to self-development, and how can an improv mindset help you to relax in social situations?What to Listen ForHow do you compete in a place like Hollywood with people who claim to be or do things that they don’t even do?How should you approach a conversation with someone you look up to when meeting for the first time and why is it such a bad idea to be a fanboy/girl in such a situation?What should your mindset be when first meeting someone and what mindset will likely lead to an undesirable outcome?What is the value in learning improv and how does it relate to your path of self-development?Why is it counterproductive to try to be funny in improv?What signs of codependency can you look for early on in a relationship and what can you do to course correct at that point?How can a relationship become codependent and what can you do to prevent it?How do you make people want to be around you or simply notice you?What can you do to make a great first impression?How can you fix a bad first impression?What can you do to be confident without coming across as arrogant?How do you attract people who want the same things you want out of a fling or relationship?Improvisational comedy (aka “improv”) is all about going with the flow, and when it comes to life, it is much easier to use the flow of a river to your advantage rather than trying to swim upstream or control the path of the river itself. And this idea applies directly to the conversations we have with people, especially when first meeting someone. Many of you will want to control the direction of a conversation and make sure you are able to highlight the good things about you and what you’ve done, rather than listen to what the other person says and allow the conversation to flow naturally by asking sincere questions and relating to what they’re saying without domineering the discussion itself.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 770: Leon Logothetis: Traveling the world relying on kindnessEpisode 767: How to Master Communication in a RelationshipEpisode 744: Dating Done Right with Evan Marc KatzEpisode 705: Don’t Try to Be Funny - The Art of ImprovErin MuroskiErin Muroski on FacebookErin Muroski on TwitterErin Muroski on InstagramFinal Rose Material - Erin’s podcastCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
Kindness costs you nothing but can change someone’s life forever, even your own - but how do we even define kindness, what does it mean to be genuinely kind, and how can a simple act of kindness have such lasting effects on the people around us?What to Listen ForHow do you deal with possible regrets when you make major life-changing decisions?What is the Kindness Diaries and what inspired Leon Logothetis to start his quest for kindness?How do you deal with the pushback that comes from close friends and family when you decide to leave a stable job to pursue your dreams?What was it like for Leon Logothetis to approach a stranger for the first time and how has his approach evolved over time?How can you use body language to allow strangers to feel comfortable talking to you when approaching them in the middle of the day?How does Leon Logothetis choose who he’s going to approach and who he wants to avoid?Are kindness and generosity universal or does it vary by culture?What was Leon Logothetis’s favorite life-changing moment from the show and what did it teach him?How does Leon Logothetis define kindness and what advice does he have for those of us struggling to be kinder in our day to day lives?How can you work on being kind if you’ve been taken advantage of in the past?How can you be kind and strong at the same time so you don’t get taken advantage of?As Leon Logothetis put it, “Kindness is helping someone else feel less alone.” Loneliness is a feeling we can all relate to, as we have all felt it at one time or another, and many of us feel it regularly in a world where people are feeling increasingly isolated and disconnected from one another and their communities. Kindness can help to rectify that, even if it means one small act of kindness each day. A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!Before you go dropping hundreds of dollars on a pair, you need to check out the wireless earbuds from Raycon! Unlike some of your other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are both stylish and discreet, with no dangling wires or stems. And of course, they don’t just look great. They sound great, too. Go to BuyRaycon.com/CHARM to get 15% off your order!Did you know your teeth move as you get older? Candid - the clear alternative to braces - costs 65% less than braces! Candid has an orthodontist licensed in your state create a treatment plan for you (and Candid only uses experienced orthodontists). You can save thousands of dollars and have straighter, brighter teeth in an average of just six months! Learn more at CandidCo.com/CHARM and use discount code CHARM to get $75 off!Sun Basket works with the best farms and suppliers to bring you fresh, organic produce and responsibly-sourced meats and seafood. Go to sunbasket.com/artofcharm to get up to $80 off.Resources from this EpisodeEpisode 769: Laura Heck: avoid these 4 behaviors in any relationshipThe Kindness Diaries on NetflixGo Be Kind by Leon LogothetisCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
The majority of issues we face in relationships can be boiled down to 4 types of behaviors we exhibit. So what are they? How do you identify which ones you exhibit, and what can you do to deal with them in yourself, your partner, friends, family members, and coworkers before they fall apart?What to Listen ForHow did the Gottman Institute get started?How much overlap is there between the issues married couples face versus friends, coworkers, and family members and what can we learn from the overlap?What are the biggest issues typically seen in newlyweds and couples first moving in together?What is implied when you stand up at the altar to say, “I do” and what should a conversation about those implications revolve around?What 3 questions should you ask yourself before entering into a couples therapy situation and how do you use these questions to make sure both of you are on the same page when it comes to expectations?What are the 4 problem behaviors that come up in relationships and why is it important to identify YOUR problem behavior before calling out your partner’s?Why is it a bad idea to see a therapist without your partner if you’re having relationship issues?How do relationship problems express themselves through our emotional, mental, and physical well being?How do you deal with criticism whether it’s coming from yourself or your partner?What is the difference between complaining and blaming, and why is one ok and the other is not?How do you deal with defensiveness in a relationship?How can you develop patience when it comes to your partner’s development since we all grow at different speeds?What questions can you ask your partner to show your support for their development and assist in it (if they want you to)?Relationships are a two-way street, so the issues we face while in relationships are a result of one person’s actions and the other’s reactions. This is not to say that one person is always acting and the other is reacting, but when attempting to tackle issues you have in your relationships, you must acknowledge your role in that issue. The responsibility does not fall 100% on you or the other person, but is shared between the two of you. This applies to romantic relationships, platonic relationships, professional relationships, and familial relationships.A Word From Our SponsorsShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!SAXX Underwear’s patented BallPark Pouch is a game-changer! They have internal mesh panels that keep everything in place, and they're made with super-soft, moisture-wicking fabrics, allowing our boys to breathe and even repel B.O.! Go to SAXX Underwear at SAXXunderwear.com and use the discount code CHARM at checkout to get $5 off – PLUS free shipping on your first purchase!Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today.Hiring used to be hard. Multiple job sites, stacks of resumes, a confusing review process. But today, hiring can be easy and you only have to go to one place to get it done: ziprecruiter.com/charm. ZipRecruiter is so effective that 4 out of 5 of employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the first day.Resources from this EpisodeYouTube: Making Relationships Work | Dr. GottmanThe Gottman InstituteMarriage Therapy Radio PodcastCheck in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on InstagramJohnny on InstagramThe Art of Charm on InstagramThe Art of Charm on YouTube
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Comments (62)

Michael Bryant

is it just me or does anyone else think Eric Weinstein has terrible social skills? it seems to me like he is interrupting, not listening properly, patronising and condescending the guys. It's funny to see the contrast between AJ and Johnny and him.

Aug 15th
Reply

Jordan Harbinger

Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings Agree. This is more poor interviewing skills than a guest problem.

Sep 5th
Reply

Facts Don't Care About Your Feelings

Michael Bryant Eric is a math nerd, and does ramble on sometimes but he is generally very tactful. Listen to any of his interviews with other members of the IDW (Intellectual Dark Web) and you'll see he is fine.

Aug 24th
Reply

Orkaganon of Torkaganon

after this interview, I'm not a fan of Bill Nye. narcissist & obsessed with Fame & himself

Jul 31st
Reply

Christopher

Orkaganon of Torkaganon :(

Aug 1st
Reply

Wisly Michel

:-$(^^)

Jul 15th
Reply

Patrick Blake

Im

Jun 9th
Reply

anil dhage

amazing!. .. these are the things that needs to be talked about.

Jun 9th
Reply

Mark

sounds like Jonny is getting sick of AJ's digs

May 9th
Reply

Jordan Harbinger

Mark Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? That’s where the original host of this show went after leaving The Art of Charm.

Jul 6th
Reply

Daniel

yeah, this is a very good episode. It made me understand how my own habits work. The reward system is great for a motivator to build a habit

May 1st
Reply

Jordan Harbinger

Daniel This was an interview that I did. I’m now at The Jordan Harbinger Show. You can find more like this one on that other show.

Jul 6th
Reply

podperson

one of these dudes sounds like he drinks gravel. He might be saying the wisest shit in the world but i cant lisen to him until he gets that cheese grater out of his throat. try drinking some warm water mixed with some lemon and honey before going on the air, jesus christ man.

Apr 24th
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Jordan Harbinger

podperson Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? That’s where the original host of this podcast went after leaving The Art of Charm

Jul 6th
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En Red

brilliant.

Apr 15th
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Nuage Laboratoire

text

Mar 13th
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Lauren Henry

Hell. Yes. More of this myth dispelling! I generally get more happy by sharing some time with a friend who's feeling sad or "negative", because I can help them and feel purposeful with a deeper connection with them.

Jan 21st
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Jordan Harbinger

Lauren Henry Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? It has the original host of this show and the content is more in-depth

Apr 1st
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Xavier Thompson

I've only, at this point, listened to about 30%of this cast and am already feeling the results of the shaking after identifying my contracted feelings and attacking them with the shaking.

Jan 15th
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Jordan Harbinger

Xavier Thompson Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? It has the original host of this podcast and the interviews are more in-depth

Apr 1st
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Daniel

Xavier Thompson Yeah, sounds like T.R.E which is nice

Mar 14th
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Leonardo Saggiomo

Thank you guys! I really enjoyed this podcast :) thanks for the insights!

Jan 11th
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Jordan Harbinger

Leonardo Saggiomo Right on Leo- Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? If you like The Art of Charm you’ll love this new show from the original host.

Jan 13th
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Shishir Arse

amazing episode.

Jan 10th
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Jordan Harbinger

Shishir Arse Do you also listen to The Jordan Harbinger Show? If you like The Art of Charm you’ll love this new show from the original host.

Jan 13th
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Glenda Dixon

this is a great one to share

Dec 17th
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Jordan Harbinger

Glenda Dixon Try The Jordan Harbinger Show as well. That show has the original host who did all the interviews for this one.

Dec 19th
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WFD

Wow these guys teaching confidence! Take your own course... Brutal stubbling on words not good

Dec 12th
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Jordan Harbinger

WFD Try The Jordan Harbinger Show. Includes the original host who did all the interviews for this one that didn’t include unclear articulation ;)

Dec 19th
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Jaya Vohra

Dr

Dec 11th
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Andrew Lombardo

Absolute garbage. "In our role, as men, as leaders, and in women's roll to follow leaders..."- Episode 236

Dec 8th
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Jordan Harbinger

Andrew Lombardo I agree with you there. I might even have said more than one inaccurate thing in the past 12 years of broadcasting, but hopefully the good outweighs the bad. You might try listening to something more recent than a decade old. That should help with the white-knighting issue / outrage addiction. You’re welcome! Glad you’re enjoying the show!

Jan 6th
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Andrew Lombardo

Jordan Harbinger You were on the show when the above quote was said. It was wrong then and it is wrong now.

Jan 3rd
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Alexandre Yasuda

Jordan Harbinger Show is much better than AOC.

Nov 15th
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J WIGHTMAN

Alexandre Yasuda agreed

Dec 9th
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Emerson Jongeling

where is the Jason capital episode

Nov 7th
Reply

Jennifer Liao

Emerson Jongeling JASON CAPITAL is on The Jordan Harbinger Show. Full video up on YouTube at THEJORDANHARBINGERSHOW

Nov 15th
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