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The Art of Manliness

Author: The Art of Manliness

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Podcast by The Art of Manliness
559 Episodes
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#561: Get With the Program

#561: Get With the Program

2019-11-1800:59:005

All of us are a part of teams at work and in our community. Even our families are teams. And most of us serve as both members and leaders of these teams. How then can we be our best in both roles?My guest today has spent his career gaining on-the-ground answers to this question through his experiences as a Marine and special operator in the military and a leadership trainer of corporate and athletic teams as a civilian. His name is Eric Kapitulik, and he's the founder of the team and leadership development company The Program and the co-author of a book with the same name.Today on the show Eric and I take a deep yet punchy dive into the keys of team and leadership development, and how these principles can be applied whether you're leading a family, a sports team, or a business. We begin our conversation discussing the biggest problems Eric sees in the teams he works with, why resolving most of these issues begins with the definition of core values, and how someone can figure out what their core values are. Eric then explains the difference between goals and standards and why teams should focus more on instilling standards and holding team members accountable to them. We then discuss the difference between being kind and being nice, why leading by example is insufficient, how Eric defines hard work, and the two excuses you need to eliminate from your life.Get the show notes at aom.is/theprogram.
#560: The Magic of Walking

#560: The Magic of Walking

2019-11-1300:47:109

Walking. It can seem, well, rather pedestrian. But my guest today makes the case that walking can act as a gateway to explore memory, meaning, and what it means to be human. His name is Erling Kagge, he’s an adventurer and philosopher, and we had him on the show last year to discuss his book Silence (that's episode 433). Erling’s latest book is called Walking, and we begin our conversation discussing the connection between bipedal locomotion and silence and how walking instead of driving can help slow down time and deepen our memories. Erling makes the case that embracing voluntary hardship can enrich your life and how walking can be a step towards that. He then shares why going for a walk can help you solve problems, why most great philosophers were also committed walkers, what the Adam and Eve story can teach us about the need for exploration, and how walking can be one of the most radical things you can do in the modern age.You'll want to take a walk after listening to this show, or maybe you'll walk while you're listening.Get the show notes at aom.is/walking.
Asking for a raise. Disagreeing with your boss. Telling your neighbor that their dog's barking is bothering you. Talking about money with your spouse. Debating politics with a friend. These are all difficult conversations fraught with anxiety, anger, and awkwardness. Many people just avoid them, but my guest says that with the right framework, you can handle even the most pitfall-laden exchanges. Her name is Sheila Heen, she's spent twenty years developing negotiation theory and practice as part of the Harvard Negotiation Project, and she's one of the co-authors of the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. Sheila starts things off by sharing the most common difficult conversations people encounter professionally and personally and the most common unhelpful ways people deal with them. She then explains how every difficult conversation actually has three hidden conversations going on, how people confuse the impact of what others say and do with their intentions, how you can acknowledge your contribution to a problem without assuming the blame, how to share your emotions without being emotional, and how to generally move a conversation from being about combative confrontation, to being about exploring each other's stories. Get the show notes at aom.is/difficultconversations.
In the first year of his presidency, the press used Theodore Roosvelt's name in connection with the word "strenuous" over 10,000 times. He was known as "the strenuous president," and with good reason: from his youth, TR had lived and preached a life of vigorous engagement and plenty of physical activity. Today on the show Ryan Swanson, professor of sports history and author of The Strenuous Life: Theodore Roosevelt and the Making of the American Athlete, discusses not only how TR was shaped by what was called "the strenuous age," but how he shaped it in turn by promoting sports, and participating in athletics himself. We begin our discussion with what was going on during the late 19th century that got people interested in what was then called "physical culture." We then turn to the beginning of Roosevelt's introduction to vigorous exercise as a boy, and how he famously decided to make his body. We discuss TR's fitness routine when he went to Harvard, and how his becoming a fan of football there led to him supporting the preservation of the game as president. We then discuss how TR lived the strenuous life while in the White House, and thereby inspired the American public to live vigorously too. We take a fun look at what TR thought of the game of baseball, how he went to a health farm at age 58 to get back in fighting shape, and what kind of exercise and athletics TR would be into if he were alive today.Get the show notes at aom.is/strenuouspresident.
Many of us want to learn a new skill or master a new area of expertise, either to further or change our career or simply for the sake of personal fulfillment. But going deep in a subject seems like it would take a long time, and even require going back to school, something most of us don't have the time, money, and desire to do.My guest today says there's another way. His name is Scott Young and he's the author of Ultralearning: Master Hard Skills, Outsmart the Competition, and Accelerate Your Career. We begin our conversation with Scott's successful experiment of doing all the course work for a computer science degree from MIT in less than a year and for free and how this opened Scott up to the idea of "ultralearning." We then discuss the economic benefits of learning how to learn, as well as the personal benefits that come from mastering new skills as adults. In the second half of our conversation, we get into the practical techniques of the ultralearning method, including creating a plan for your learning project, choosing active over passive learning, and drilling effectively. Scott and I end our discussion with how to figure out what feedback to listen to and what to ignore as you're learning a new project. Get the show notes at aom.is/ultralearning.
Nearly everyone has experienced the sense of being nudged and prompted to take certain actions. These intuitive hints can spur us to do big things like change jobs, or smaller things like text a friend. My guest today says that these are callings, and that if we don't answer them, they'll continue to rememerge and can haunt us til the day we die. His name is Gregg Levoy and he's the author of Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life. We begin our conversation discussing what exactly a calling is and why it's not necessarily the same thing as a vocation. Gregg then shares how callings come to people, why they're sometimes unpleasant and challenging, and what you can do to attune yourself to their signals. Gregg then shares different ways people go about figuring out their calling, including rites of passage, traveling, art, and community. We get into how you figure out if something you think is a calling is actually a calling or not, and the idea that while every calling demands a response, that response can be negotiated. We end our conversation discussing what happens when your calling ends in what looks like failure. Get the show notes at aom.is/callings.
You've probably observed families in which one of the kids is super resilient and easy-going while the other is super sensitive and anxious. Same family, same parents, but two extremely different children. What gives? My guest today says that some kids are like robust dandelions, while others are like fragile orchids. And while the fragility of orchid children might seem like a liability, in the right circumstances, these kids can actually thrive to an even greater extent than their dandelion peers. His name is W. Thomas Boyce, and he's a developmental pediatrician and professor of pediatrics, as well as the author of the book The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive. We begin our conversation discussing the respective attributes of dandelion and orchid children and how the increased reactivity of the latter influences their health, emotional well-being, and development. Tom then explains how orchid children can be both the healthiest and sickest of children, depending on the environment in which they're raised. We then discuss the theories as to what causes orchid children to be orchid children, including genetics and environmental factors. We end our conversation with tips for parents of sensitive children on how to help them thrive and succeed.Get the show notes at aom.is/orchid.
The Sultan of Swat. The Colossus of Clout. The King of Crash. The Great Bambino. Babe Ruth died over 70 years ago, but his legend still lives on in big league stadiums and little league fields across America. While we know a lot about Ruth's baseball career, little was known about his early life and how it shaped him to become America's first superstar athlete and celebrity. My guest today sought to remedy that in her recently published biography: The Big Fella: Babe Ruth and the World He Created. Her name is Jane Leavy, and she's a former sports journalist and the author of two other biographies of baseball greats. We begin our conversation discussing Ruth's sad and difficult childhood in a Baltimore boarding school and how he learned to play baseball from the Xaverian brothers who ran it. We then shift to how Ruth's hunger for affirmation helped him become the country's first real celebrity, and how his baseball career coincided with the burgeoning fields of public relations and technology, ushering in a new era in sports writing, endorsements, and entertainment. We end our conversation discussing Ruth's legacy in the world, and business, of professional sports. Get the show notes at aom.is/ruth.
If you struggle with feeling distracted, you likely think that modern technology is to blame, and that if your phone wasn't so infuriatingly desirable to check, you'd be a lot more focused and productive.But my guest today argues that the problem of distraction doesn't lie with technology, but with you. His name is Nir Eyal, and he's a behavioral design expert and the author of Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Today on the show we first discuss Nir's work in helping companies create apps that hook people into using them, and why he thinks these methods of attraction can be positive as long as you put tech in its place. We then dig into how to do that, beginning with the idea that you can't complain about being distracted, if you don't know what you're distracted from, how the first step in getting control of your attention is understanding what you'd like to be doing with it by planning out your time, and why the opposite of distraction isn't focus. We discuss why time management is pain management, and why we need to get comfortable with the uncomfortable internal triggers that prompt us to use our devices for emotional pacification. Nir then walks us through how to deal with the external triggers of distraction, including managing your email inbox, making pre-commitments, and turning indistractability into part of your identity.Get the show notes at aom.is/indistractable.
If you struggle to lose weight, you may blame an inherently slow metabolism. But is your metabolism really to blame, and can you increase it in order to burn more fat?Today we tackle these questions and more with Dr. John Berardi, who earned a PhD in exercise physiology and nutrient biochemistry, and is a writer, athlete, coach, and professor, as well as the co-founder of Precision Nutrition and the founder of the Change Maker Academy. John and I begin our discussion with what metabolism is, the components that make it up, how much each element contributes to your body's energy expenditures, and which can be controlled. We then get into whether or not it's true that some people have an inherently slow or fast metabolism, and how diet and exercise influences your metabolism, including whether or not dieting itself can slow your metabolism down, and why you might want to consider wearing a weight vest around once you lose body fat. We then discuss how intermittent fasting can increase your metabolic flexibility, whether there are certain foods that boost your metabolic rate, and the best exercise routine for optimizing your metabolism. We also also talk about how stress and sleep effect your metabolic health. We end our conversation with John's best tips for maintaining optimal metabolic health and losing weight in general.Get the show notes at aom.is/metabolism.
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Comments (134)

bob caygeon

Berardis take on metabolism, diet and weighted vests is fascinating and well presented.

Nov 15th
Reply

Sage Birchwood

Did Boxing + Judo, but wouldn't do MMA? That's some wonky logic right there Mr. Swanson.

Nov 14th
Reply (1)

Darryl Mac

Darn right.. big Sox fan.. Love this about the Babe.. #kudos

Nov 6th
Reply

Jacob Markose

good

Oct 31st
Reply

Mikkel Thøgersen

kind of girly.

Oct 23rd
Reply

trev_williams

This episode is too good and was def needed.

Oct 21st
Reply (1)

JASON HUNTER

Man, I'm taking a master's program that's been kicking my ass and I've been looking for tips on how to study and learn better.

Oct 16th
Reply (1)

Sage Birchwood

This is the most tolerable interview with JPB I have come across. Actual examples compared to the usual intangible or completely made up biblical conclusions. Kudos to actually keeping him on topic.

Oct 10th
Reply

sixtynine tbird

Don G fell flat in this interview. there was nothing beyond painfully-obvious in this content.

Oct 4th
Reply

Tebogo

Great advice and insights. Can't wait to put that into actions. Great stuff...

Oct 2nd
Reply

Sage Birchwood

JBP lobsters will love this

Oct 1st
Reply

Aaron Howard

bd8o i-+ff, 4,, f xx I do g night new l I'm off j

Sep 25th
Reply

Cameron White

one of the best yet

Sep 25th
Reply

Alexis Soto

what a valuable episode, very precise and informative, I keep learning so much on such a practical philosophy as Stoicism.

Sep 5th
Reply

Kyle Decker

ya, f***ing obviously.

Sep 1st
Reply (1)

Cam Neale

Fantastic episode!

Aug 27th
Reply

Fadi

tried several exercises. Great episode!

Aug 26th
Reply

Nathan Sellstrom

I'm sorry. my least favorite episode yet. I'm shocked that I listened all the way through, but I love the thinkers he references. I think Svend has a convoluted understanding of self-help. his circular arguments disparage self-help and then rebuild themselves on self-help principles. eg: in human terms, forgiveness IS of primary benefit to the person forgiving. on the flip side, those being forgiven rarely know they've been forgiven. self-help, in my experience, is built on taking responsibility for my actions, endowing others with dignity, making and keeping promises, and forgiveness. none of this is possible without forgiving our qualifiers and even ourselves for the sole purpose of opening the door to these "building blocks" of self-help. I'd characterize his philosophical/psychological assessment as an undignified effort to convolute self-help and detract from the true value it has in helping people work through the destruction of addiction. I've NEVER heard the (wrong) idea that avoiding guilt and shame is a healthy approach to self-help/recovery. life perpetually deals us guilt and shame. self-help brings freedom through honesty, bringing unhealthy emotions into healthy community for the purpose of progressing toward consistency. I find his conclusions to lack clarity and connection to real (right) self-help. Jordan B Peterson takes a much more precise and productive approach to this topic. as JBP says, seeking meaning, not happiness, is a much more valuable and lasting pursuit. Svend loses sight of this concept, focusing more on the pursuit of happiness.

Aug 21st
Reply (4)

Nathan Sellstrom

I'm sorry. my least favorite episode yet. I'm shocked that I listened all the way through, but I love the thinkers he references. I think Svend has a convoluted understanding of self-help. his circular arguments disparage self-help and then rebuild themselves on self-help principles. eg: in human terms, forgiveness IS of primary benefit to the person forgiving. on the flip side, those being forgiven rarely know they've been forgiven. self-help, in my experience, is built on taking responsibility for my actions, endowing others with dignity, making and keeping promises, and forgiveness. none of this is possible without forgiving our qualifiers and even ourselves for the sole purpose of opening the door to these "building blocks" of self-help. I'd characterize his philosophical/psychological assessment as an undignified effort to convolute self-help and detract from the true value it has in helping people work through the destruction of addiction. I've NEVER heard the (wrong) idea that avoiding guilt and shame is a healthy approach to self-help/recovery. life perpetually deals us guilt and shame. self-help brings freedom through honesty, bringing unhealthy emotions into healthy community for the purpose of progressing toward consistency. I find his conclusions to lack clarity and connection to real (right) self-help. Jordan B Peterson takes a much more precise and productive approach to this topic. as JBP says, seeking meaning, not happiness, is a much more valuable and lasting pursuit. Svend loses sight of this concept, focusing more on the pursuit of happiness.

Aug 21st
Reply

Brian Arisius

Love your podcast! Very insightful, useful and even life-changing. Thank you and I hope you keep up the good work!

Aug 12th
Reply (1)
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