The Art of We

In this powerful and deeply intimate episode of The Art of We, Krista sits down with visionary movement educator Melissa Michaels to explore the intersection of sexuality, embodiment, and healing—through the lens of Melissa’s late-stage ovarian cancer journey. What unfolds is a story of profound transformation, where trauma, loss, and surgery become portals into deeper intimacy, love, physical pleasure and devotion to life force.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and guest Melissa Michaels00:00 — Intro00:55 — Melissa’s cancer diagnosis story and background06:15 — The ritual of preparing for surgery & calling in community09:46 — The post-surgery declaration12:19 — Intimacy, partnership, and scarred bodies15:34 — How Melissa worked with pain and chemo23:12 — Building intimacy with others & the sacredness of presence25:36 — Chemotherapy: grief, gratitude, and identity shifts28:21 — Reclaiming sexuality and orgasm after cancer33:04 — The long road back to intimacy and physical connection 36:36 — Balancing solitude and partnership with devotion to aliveness40:58 — Melissa’s guidance for returning home to your body46:19 — What this journey taught her about love, humanity, and the path forward50:22 — Where to learn more about Melissa's work & the short film Twisted GiftReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from you!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Golden BridgeGolden Girls GlobalGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

If you’re a woman who feels like you’re performing, over-managing others’ comfort, or doubting your leadership instincts—this episode is for you. Krista and her colleague Barbs Edwards, introduce The Circle: a transformational women’s group experience based on T-Group methodology. Together they explore how this real-time relational practice helps women track their inner experience, speak with clarity and care, and break free from old patterns like people-pleasing, over-controlling, or self-doubt. You’ll hear personal stories, practical insights, and why collaborative, emotionally intelligent leadership is more needed now than ever.(00:00) – Why women don’t have impostor syndrome—they have undervalued leadership styles(02:13) – Guest Barbs Edwards (05:21) – What is T-Group(06:59) – Speaking only what’s true(08:54) – Tracking yourself vs. managing others(10:24) – Why this work helps women stop performing(12:22) – Barbs’ personal story: finally shifting lifelong patterns(17:05) – Krista’s journey through corporate gender bias and self-doubt(21:37) – Real-time feedback: How others actually experience you(34:07) – How The Circle accelerates growth(36:17) – How to join a free Taster Circle (virtual or in-person)Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from you!Resources Mentioned: The Circle For WomenOur Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry InstituteRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform. 

In this honest and heartfelt episode of The Art of We, Krista and Will unpack the mindset shift that’s helping them meet uncertainty and stress with strength. Instead of reacting from “life is in the way,” they explore how choosing a “this is on the way” perspective changes everything, especially in partnership. From grief to bypassing to finding meaning, they share real tools and reflections for returning to a higher set point, together.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Intro and relational check-in: chaos, uncertainty, & weird coping rituals(03:35) Life update for our listeners(05:55) How to stay aligned during life intensity(06:42) From “in the way” to “on the way”(08:04) Suffering & the narratives we choose(09:15) Complaining & bypassing(11:28)  Emotional honesty & recommitting (13:37) Respecting real grief & hardship(14:45) Viktor Frankl, responsibility, & reclaiming narrative power(16:07) What matters most in partnershipReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from you!Resources Mentioned: ●    Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements ●    Viktor Frankl BookGet in Touch: ●    The Art Of We Website●    TheArt of We Instagram ●   Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this episode of The Art of We, Krista is joined by longtime friend and renowned relationship coach Shana James for a candid, heartfelt conversation about cultivating deeper intimacy in partnership. From redefining what sex actually means to designing date nights that create more presence, pleasure, and connection — we talk about insights and tools that might just shift how you think about  intimacy, sex, and what’s possible in your relationship. This episode is full of heart-opening perspectives on what it really means to be intimate with another human being.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(02:13) Welcome Shana James(04:13) Impact of growing up without emotional intimacy(06:42) The question that changed Shana’s client’s relationship(07:02) What is intimacy, really?(09:57) Shana’s 7-date night ritual(12:15) Creating turn-on by removing pressure(14:07) Practicing presence and attunement in intimacy(17:46) Prioritizing intention for opening more possibility(20:00) Perimenopause, stress, and shifting desire(26:53) Breaking inherited relational patterns (32:36) When your partner shuts down or isn’t growth-minded(35:36) Calling your partner into their greatness(43:33) Redefining sexReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from you!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Shana James’ Honest Sex BookShana James QuizGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

When conflict arises in a relationship, do you retreat, explode, or sweep it under the rug? We unpack one of our foundational relationship agreements: to Repair Abundantly. We explore how the ability to fully and lovingly repair after conflict is the difference between surviving and thriving—and how the right kind of repair doesn’t just restore connection, it deepens it. We share personal stories, listener questions, and the real-life impact of doing this work together, especially when triggers come up again (and again). “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Why this is one of our most essential agreements(01:40) What repair means to us (and how it’s different than just “making up”)(03:30) Attachment theory and the 3 phases(05:28) How repair can leave you more connected than before the conflict(07:22) What happens when repair isn’t mutual or complete(10:38) “What if I’m always the one to initiate repair?”(13:02) Attachment dynamics in conflict(15:10) Why shared purpose in your relationship is essential(17:26) “What if the same trigger keeps coming up?”(19:44) When to seek deeper therapy or examine incomplete repairs(21:10) A call to mutual growth, grace, and staying in the conversationReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Getting To Zero by Jayson GaddisGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

What if one agreement could shift how you move through perceived limitations, everyday stuckness, and painful patterns in your relationship? Krista and Will dive into their relationship agreement, “To Always Find Possibility.” Whether it's health issues, career crossroads, or relational tension, this simple yet powerful commitment has helped them stay connected, creative, and forward-moving—even when things seem hopeless. Tune in for real-life examples, practical insights, and an invitation to transform how you face challenges with your partner.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) The origin of the agreement(02:30) What “always find possibility” means (05:45) Why this agreement applies to every area of life(08:50) Real-life example: Krista’s health scare (12:20) Bypassing or real possibility?(14:45) When one partner can't see the way through(17:40) How this agreement affects parenting, career, and decisions(20:55) Why this isn’t just toxic positivity(23:45) What to do if your partner doesn’t think this way(27:00) How agreements like this turn into anchoring tools during crisis (30:00) Addressing polarization(32:15) The power of staying in the conversation(34:00) An invitation for listenersReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

About the Episode:Addressing passive-aggressive comments like a ninja is highly satisfying. It can stop the aggressor in their shoes and wake them up to the impact they’re having. Most passive-aggressive comments are simply unskilled communications of negative feelings. By directly and neutrally addressing passive aggressiveness, we can support each other to grow as human beings. In episode 121 of the Art of We podcast, we get into the nuanced terrain of passive aggressiveness in both personal and professional relationships. Dr. Will and Krista Van Derveer discuss its subtle nature and how it can operate under a veneer of politeness, making it challenging to detect and address. They dive into the psychological underpinnings of why individuals resort to such behavior, highlighting the cultural lack of effective tools for expressing negative feelings directly.The hosts share practical strategies, share personal anecdotes, and role-play scenarios to illustrate how to respond to passive aggression in a way that fosters understanding and growth rather than perpetuating a cycle of negativity. They advocate for an approach that involves acknowledging the impact of such comments, expressing one's feelings without aggression, and seeking to understand the underlying needs of the other person.A must listen for:Individuals in leadership positions who deal with other humans :)Partners who have a hard time communicating their needs and wants skillfully People who have a family or community that has a habit of passive-aggressive behaviorAnyone who loves to grow!Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or on your favorite podcast platform. Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Psychology TodayGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Mental Wellness & Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate it with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly.

What if the parts of us we feel most ashamed of—our tender, young, vulnerable selves—were actually the doorway to greater sovereignty and connection in our partnerships? In this deeply personal episode, we share a very real moment from our recent IFS (Internal Family Systems) retreat with Richard Schwartz, where an old, exiled part of me got triggered in a big way. But instead of spiraling into conflict or disconnection, we used our agreements and IFS tools to move through it—together. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling unseen, insignificant, or overly sensitive in your relationship, this episode is for you.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Fairness in holding space(01:14) Setting the stage: Krista’s trigger(03:41) A pattern re-emerges: Feeling invisible(07:47) A call for support(11:04) Stepping into an IFS process together(12:27) Krista’s breakthrough: Meeting a 3-year-old exiled part(15:40) From shame to shared understanding(17:34) Witnessing the root together(20:08) Why this moment changed the trigger(20:45) Turning triggers into healing: The power of a supportive partnerReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Internal Family Systems with Richard SchwartzGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

Ever feel like your emotions take over during conflict? What if there was an easier way to navigate tough conversations? In this episode, we dive into Internal Family Systems (IFS)—a powerful approach to understanding the different "parts" of ourselves and how they show up in relationships. We share how this model has transformed our ability to work through triggers, deepen our connection, and show up for each other's growth in a way that fosters security and desire. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) – The power of how we phrase emotions(00:38) – Exploring Internal Family Systems (IFS)(01:20) – How we use IFS in our partnership and why(03:38) – What are “parts” in IFS? (06:27) – Uncovering the hidden parts of ourselves(07:10) – The hero, the critic, and the scared child(08:14) – How trauma shapes our inner system and leads to self-sabotage(10:20) – Why IFS is a game-changer for couples(12:06) – How IFS prevents CO-dependency and strengthens the “we”(14:45) – The importance of shared language in partnerships(15:50) – Conflict repair: Naming our parts de-personalizes triggers(17:07) – How IFS turned a potential rupture into connection(19:04) – Holding each other's parts together vs. rejecting themReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Internal Family Systems with Richard SchwartzNo Bad Parts BookInside Out MovieGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

Does absence REALLY make the heart grow fonder? In this episode, we explore the role of separateness in fueling desire in long-term relationships and uncover the deeper factors that truly spark passion in a thriving partnership. Plus, we share a personal story about how the movie The Substance nearly led to a major rupture between us—but ultimately revealed profound insights about what really creates and sustains desire in our relationship.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Welcome!(00:35) Listener question: Does separateness fuel desire in long-term relationships?(01:40) What actually happens in our experience of being apart?(02:53) The science of why we automate our partners(03:57) How our brains conserve energy and why it affects attraction(05:40) Time apart doesn’t always create desire(06:44) The hidden gifts of separateness(07:42) The danger of relying on separateness for passion(08:25) A surprising relationship challenge(09:59) Power dynamics, objectification, and emotional triggers in media(11:22) What actually fuels our desires(14:30) Why deep emotional work can create attraction & intimacy(15:52) The key question: What actually fuels your desire in partnership?(16:30) Turning real connection into lasting attractionReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this episode, we dive into over-merging in relationships, exploring the difference between healthy interdependence and codependency. Hear how attachment styles shape connection, balancing differing needs for contact, and prioritizing different needs for contact. We share our personal experiences of the power of co-regulation and how couples can create agreements that support both individuals and the we of their partnership. This episode offers valuable insights and practical tools to help you and your partner thrive.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Over-or-under merging is a path of development(01:20) What is "the We"?(02:44) The effects of over-merging (03:45) Influence of Attachment styles (06:37) Healthy individuation as a key relationship goal(08:47) When a need for contact is covering up a deeper wound(11:00) Taking responsibility for our own wounds (11:34) How supporting each other’s healing strengthens the partnership(13:53) Does the We always default to the highest need for contact?(16:43) The power of co-regulation in a relationship(18:24) Developing auto-regulation and self-soothing practices(19:50) Defining your shared purpose as a couple(21:51) The importance of self-awareness (23:06) Final thoughts and listener appreciationReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In part 2, Bari Tessler shares her framework for Couples Money Dates, how to navigate power imbalances when one partner earns more, financial polarization & hidden money dynamics, the mental & emotional loads of money in partnerships, how to teach kids about money (without passing down shame), somatic tools to shift your relationship with money. If you want more financial intimacy, clarity, and teamwork in your partnership, this one’s for you!“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Power, control, and financial conditions in childhood(02:09) Money and power dynamics in relationships(04:28) The first step to financial healing(10:51) Navigating financial inequality in partnerships & gender role expectations(12:01) Mental load, household labor & financial responsibility(15:45) Financial shifts in long-term relationships & life transitions(19:36) Couples Money Dates: The 4 phases for financial intimacy & teamwork(29:23) Releasing shame & continually evolving(30:28) Teaching kids about money(34:33) How to talk to kids about financial privilege(37:24) Turning toward money conversations rather than avoiding themReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Bari Tessler: The Art Of MoneySoul Of Money - L. TwistPrince Charming Isn’t Coming - B. StannyFair Play - E. RodskyThe Opposite Of Spoiled - R. Liebera...

In this episode, financial therapy pioneer Bari Tessler joins us to explore the deep connections between money, shame, and relationships. Hear how money stories and family lineage shape financial behaviors, why couples often polarize around money, and how the Enneagram can offer insight into financial dynamics. Bari emphasizes the power of financial therapy and somatic practices in healing and empowerment around money. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Money stories and lineage influences(00:23) Intro to Bari Tessler(04:27) Life phases & money decisions(06:07) Navigating income fluctuations(07:36) The power of open financial conversations in couples(08:38) Understanding money shame & its impact(10:52) Why somatic therapy & financial therapy(13:05) Healing shame about money(14:50) Somatic awareness & money conversations(20:52) Money struggles in helping professions(25:48) Family & culture influences on money(27:13) Enneagram types & money(30:39) How money work reveals new insights in partnerships(31:58) Why couples polarize around money(36:05) Identifying financial polarizations in couples(36:38) Introduction to Couples Money Dates for financial alignmentReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Bari Tessler: The Art Of MoneyCouples Therapy on ShowTimeGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform. 

Relationship therapist and couples coach Ellen Boeder joins us to explore the intersection of attachment, power dynamics, and secure functioning in partnerships. We discuss how power imbalances can emerge in relationships, the difference between secure and insecure functioning, and how couples can cultivate true mutuality. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Why secure functioning matters in relationships(03:26) What defines secure vs. insecure relationships? (06:22) How power struggles emerge in insecure relationships(09:37) Three key factors that shape relationship dynamics(13:20) The role of trust, safety, and confidence in a secure partnership(16:29) Why repair is the key to lasting security in relationships(19:12) How resentment builds over time(22:03) How unresolved relationship struggles affect personal growth(26:41) Unspoken power dynamics: How to recognize and address them(30:55) The difference between equity and equality in partnerships(33:11) Why agreements are essential for long-term success(36:04) Building a secure relationship with yourself as a foundation for partnership(38:23) Final thoughts: The power of conscious relationship modelingReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Therapist & Coach Ellen BoederEllen Boeder on SubstackGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this episode, we explore how small yet intentional agreements can help heal deep relational wounds and foster secure, connected partnerships. We share our personal experiences with one of our core relationship agreements and how it has transformed our injuries from the past. Through this lens, we invite listeners to reflect on your own insecurities and explore how agreements can be a powerful tool for healing, trust, and deeper intimacy.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Introduction: How small agreements can heal deep relational wounds(02:23) The power of secure functioning: Why this agreement matters(03:39) Will’s experience: Healing past wounds through loving “hellos”(06:23) The importance of eye contact and intentional connection when reuniting(06:53) Krista’s experience: The impact of past loss and saying “goodbye with care”(08:29) How practicing intentional goodbyes builds trust and security(09:36) Where do insecurities show up in your relationship? A reflection for listeners(10:42) Identifying personal wounds and creating agreements to heal them(12:58) Balancing personal preferences and mutual care in a partnership(14:51) Final reflections: The impact of small actions on long-term intimacy(15:21) Closing thoughts: Inviting listeners to explore new agreementsReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this episode, Krista and Will Van Derveer dive into the power of relational agreements and how they help couples navigate cultural conditioning, power dynamics, and historical wounds. They share their personal journey of creating a partnership built on mutuality and responsibility—key ingredients for a thriving, purpose-driven relationship. Tune in for insights on how agreements can foster growth, repair, and deeper connection in your own relationship.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Introduction: Why mutuality and cultural conditioning matter in relationships(02:15) The origin of their relational agreements and how they became wedding vows(06:45) Why agreements are essential for navigating challenges and preventing resentment(09:30) Overcoming gendered conditioning: Housework, emotional labor, and sharing responsibility(14:20) Personal reflections: How past wounds shape relational dynamics(18:45) The power of speaking up: Creating a safe space for emotional expression(22:15) How agreements help rewrite the stories we carry from past relationships(26:40) Practical steps: How to start creating mutual agreements with your partner(30:20) Conversation prompts: How to surface unspoken dynamics and unmet needs(35:00) Final thoughts: The importance of evolving agreements as relationships growReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this heartfelt episode, we explore the delicate dynamics of sexual approaches in relationships, diving into how cultural conditioning, gender roles, and personal trauma can create friction. We share our own challenges, uncovering misunderstandings and the steps we’re taking to heal and grow. If you’ve faced similar struggles or want to deepen your intimacy, this episode offers relatable insights and practical tools to foster safety, connection, and collaboration.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Setting the stage for an intimate and important conversation(01:58) Exploring gender dynamics & cultural conditioning in sexual approaches(03:53) Discrepancy in sexual agency: Social & cultural patterns that prioritize male desire(07:18) Past trauma and its influence on intimacy(11:48) Animalistic side of male sexuality and its cultural roots(16:07) How trauma triggers show up in sexual approaches(23:54) Tools for creating safety: Collaborating to build trust and openness in intimacy(24:56) Scheduled intimacy vs. spontaneity(28:32) Reflective questions for listeners to explore in their own relationship(29:30) The importance of slowing down and co-creating safety in relationshipsReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Episode 94: How To Prioritize Your Sex LifeGet in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this episode, Krista and Dr. Will Van Derveer announce a new series focusing on creating equitable partnerships. They discuss taking a brief break until mid-January 2025 and announce updated "Top 10 Agreements" available on their website. The episode emphasizes their commitment to exploring power dynamics, fairness, and mutual success in relationships, particularly from their perspective as a heterosexual couple. They share questions for the listeners to reflect on regarding equity in their own relationships during the holiday break.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(0:00) - The importance of conscious conversations about equity in partnerships(3:11) - Will discusses the historical context of power dynamics in relationships and their commitment to fairness(4:19) - Why chose to pursue an equitable partnership despite social norms(5:24) - Podcast break explanation and plans to return mid-January 2025(7:21) - Reflection questions for listeners about equity in their relationships(8:43) - The importance of honest self-reflection in partnerships(10:05) - Discussion of year-end review and goal assessment(10:47) - Closing remarks and holiday wishesReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

In this unique and candid episode, Will is interviewed by Krista about the inner workings of relationship and his personal journey toward creating a thriving partnership. Through spontaneous questions and random sentence stems, Will shares vulnerably about navigating challenges – from bathroom counter disputes to deeper questions of maintaining connection – and offers practical wisdom for anyone seeking to build a more conscious and fulfilling relationship. “The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer(0:00) Opening reflection on how people make meaningful changes in relationships (3:22) Will shares his journey from feeling alone in previous partnerships to discovering the possibility of healthy interdependence (6:24) Discussion of how to handle daily conflicts while maintaining connection (12:06) Practical advice for developing better listening skills and emotional range in relationships (15:10) Will reveals what initially attracted him to Krista beyond physical attraction - depth and generous connection (20:02) Vulnerable exploration of relationship challenges, including managing contact and connection (23:01) Closing thoughts on empathy and understanding others' perspectives as key to better relationshipsReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.

Are you an ambitious, growth-oriented person who finds yourself stuck in frustrating relationship patterns? In this episode of The Art of We podcast, we explore how positive thinking—usually an asset for high achievers—can actually become a relationship blind spot. Learn how to distinguish between healthy optimism and "false positivity" that keeps you invested in misaligned partnerships or painful relationship patterns, and discover practical ways to create the deeply fulfilling relationship you truly desire.“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer & Dr. Will Van Derveer(00:00) Warning signs of false positivity: Recognizing cycles of hope & hopelessness in relationships(01:25) The achievement trap: “Fixing" relationship problems solo instead of addressing them with partners(03:58) The hidden costs of conflict avoidance: Self-development as an excuse to avoid necessary relationship conversations(11:18) Actions vs. words: Pay attention to your partner's behavior, not their promises(14:22) The maturity factor: Moving from hope/despair cycles to grounded conversations about relationship goals(17:14) Essential self-reflection questions: Are you using positivity to mask relationship misalignment?(20:06) The power of outside perspective: Trusted friends are crucial for seeing relationship patterns clearlyReach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from you!Resources Mentioned: Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements Get in Touch: The Art Of We WebsiteThe Art of We Instagram Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy TrainingRate, Review & Follow on Apple Podcasts: If you want to show your support for this show, please consider rating and reviewing The Art of We on Apple Podcasts. To do that, open the Apple Podcasts app and search for The Art of We. Scroll to the bottom of the package and rate with 5 stars. Let us know your favorite part of the show by clicking “Write a Review.” While you’re at it, follow the show so you can get the latest episode delivered to your phone weekly. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or on your favorite podcast platform.