The Battler

This week, Tim is in Coffs and Pat is in Melbourne; so unclear as to who has the bum end of the stick. They talk through the stakes of recognising Palestine; Trump’s love of Andrew Lloyd Weber; the Kirk Memorial; Hamburgler Melania; ballroom pizzagate; Tim fielding accusations of Italian human trafficking; the Ausstralian Far Right’s love of Amerikkka; Pine gap; the disappearance of the liberal and the consequences of privatisation.We want your merch ideas! Send us designs for Battler tees and other paraphernalia.Song is No Strain by Southend Rainbows; thanks as always to “Dictator” Dan Dare for production. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

On this episode the boys mourn their wonderful friend Charlie Kirk, murdered by the coward Tyler Robinson. They remember his calm, measured presence in debate; his commitment to democracy and his belief in a free, egalitarian, multi-ethnic America. They also talk about Trump’s ballroom (of course), Albo’s pitch into authoritarianism and the evil of creative writing programs.Song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows. Subscribe to Straying for the Morsel and The Yeah Nah Review This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week on the pod The Battlers talk to the suddenly former deputy editor of Meanjin, Eli McLean, about the untimely killing of the 85yo literary journal. Jump to 37.55 for the interview.Before that, Pat and Tim discuss Australia under Iranian rule, Bondi ZioNazis, and Glorious Leader Xi Danping.As always, subscribe to Straying for the Morsel and Patrick Marlborough This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week, Pat and Tim talk about the March for Australia that cooked on the streets of Sydney, Melbourne, and the other cities last weekend. Tim was there and gives an eyewitness account. The lads talk about why all nazis are pedos, and the poor honest racists who were blindsided by the presence of fash at the rally (sorry to Tim’s uncle). They also talk Trump, the New American Novel and Tim’s “Class and Art” survey results. Thanks as always to Dictator Dan Dare for production. Song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows. Photo credit Michael Bianchino. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week it’s just Pat and Tim, the way God intended. Unencumbered by guests, they rage about the resposne of the government to the protest on Sydney Hamas Bridge; the rising tide of Naarm Nazism; the cowardice of Bendigo Writers’ Festival adopting a stifling definition of antisemitism in their code of conduct; and Christos Tsiolkas’ delightful article on the benefits of fencesitting.It’s a quick one; when Pat gets back to Boorloo we’ll be back in the Castro saddle and giving five-hour diatribes. Thanks as always to Dan Dare: producer, friend and defamation prophylactic. Song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows. Onya,Battlers. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

On July 18th, The Battler host Patrick Marlborough joined with the podcast’s most ‘faptastic’ fan, Giacomo Bianchino, to launch Patrick’s debut novel, NOCK LOOSE, in a city that counts (Sydney), at the big smoke’s best bookstore, Better Read Than Dead.A feral chat about OzLit and the creative process and long term unemployment, enjoy Giacomo’s attempts to get Patrick to admit he is horny for cartoons, amongst other things.Forgive us for the patchy audio quality: the crowd’s laughter was so uproarious it literally broke the mics. Thanks to Dan, as always, for the audio edits. Follow Straying for the Morsel and Patrick Marlborough and buy and read NOCK LOOSE!The Battler will return to its regular programming next week! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week Pat n Tim talk shop with author and artiste Madison Griffiths, who has just released Sweet Nothings, her second monograph after 2022’s Tissue. We talk about the book, which is a study of four relationships between students and university teachers. We walk through power dynamics; horny academia; and the interminable thirst of European writers for stories of scholarly seduction.Production as always from “Dictator” Dan Dare. Song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows.Also, if you live in Shit City, don’t forget to come down to Readings at 630pm this Wednesday, 6th August to hear Pat launch Nock Loose with friend of the show Evelyn Araluen! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week, Pat and Tim talk with Max Easton, paesano and the author of novels liek The Magpie Wing and Paradise Estate and the reams of top-notch music crit over at Barely Human. We talk about “Western Sydney Literature,” the DIY ethos and class autonomy, the importance of self-publishing, and the singularity of Rugby League. It’s a big yarn, and a very invested take on writing in Aus in 2025.Shout out as always to Dictator Dan Dare. Title song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

20th EPISODE SPECTACULAR!The Battler Boys meet in person for the FIRST TIME and immediately attempt to kill each other as they reckon with show mascot, Mark Latham, being accused of doing Mark Latham things (allegedly). Also touched on (allegedly) is the pedogeddon of the Epstein files, Albo’s woeful drip on his China trip, the soothing sounds of Israeli psytrance, Ancient Greek pottery, and whether or not Tim and Pat are ‘hoteps’.as always, subscribe to Straying for the Morsel and The Yeah Nah Review, share The Battler far and wide, and buy Nock Loose! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week, Pat M talks to Pat L: Journalist, Writer and substacker at the Nonsense Newsletter We cover Lenton’s new book, In Spite of You; queer lit; youth media and vulture capitalism. Unfortunately, Tim had “technical difficulties” (nothing to do with queerphobia) on his extended Eurotrip at “Marxist summer school,” and couldn’t make it to the interview (mistimed his alarm and nursed a raki hangover). He’s back now, and will be there to watch Pat and friend of the program Giacomo Bianchino launch Nock Loose, at Better Read Than Dead in Newtown, this Friday at 6pm! Come down and say hi/punch them in the back of the skull.As always, thanks to Dictator Dan Dare. Song is “No Strain” by Southend Rainbows. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week, Pat and Tim talk about the Sabsabi decision, the solidification of anti-protest reactionism across the world, and the transformation of the ALP into a Party of Order and domination. We talk about the brutalisation of Hannah Thomas and Tony Burke’s response; the practice of “slave day” in East Coast schools; and the changing structure of Labor’s branches.We are still on opposite sides of the planet still, and Tim is at his little Marxist summer camp; so the audio is a little cooked. But Dictator Dan Dare is in again to save the day. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week, Pat and Tim are guestless and ill, but stoked nonetheless as a self-proclaimed socialist takes the dem nomination in the New York mayoral elections. We talk about what the DSA is in 2025, how it has outgrown its own grad-student-podcast nexus, and what we can learn from the movement in Australia. We also talk about the importance of white genocide, Trump’s dropping of F and other bombs, Israel doing aid truck flour massacres in their spare time, and Aunty trying to bribe her staff not do industrial action. Thanks as always to the saint Dan Dare in his intercession with the tech gods. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

Battlers! First off, sorry for the delay! With Pat sick, and Tim in Italy, and a few tech issues, producer Dan (that Saint, that Angel!) has had to work overtime to stitch this episode together. But thank CHRIST for him, because it is a BEAUTY!This week, we talk to award wining poet (author of Drop Bear) and editor of Overland Literary Journal and overall genius, Evelyn Araluen, about what it means to hold your ground agains Zionist censorship, and what work goes into maintaining your craft and honing your art while besieged on all sides by fascists. Evelyn got us all fired up, it truly is a yap for the ages. Tim & Pat’s initial pre-interview chat for this episode is now in the ether, and we’ve instead attached last week’s chat to the interview — the news is moving like an e-bike twink on too much Vyvanse, and we didn’t think there was much point in you listening to our riffs (though they were very good) from two weeks ago. We get into Iran, Cuck Country Blues, and the rest of it…Apologies again for the delay, we will be back to our regular scheduling as soon as Tim is back and Pat is cured of his many ailments. GET IT IN YA! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week Pat and Tim talk to writer and painter Joseph Earp about writing and painting. There’s also a little bit about the importance of failure and unfinished works; about influence and about the insecurities of Australian writers.Before that, the Battler regular corps chat Gillard’s feminism, Western Liberal Leaders in their Noble Stand Against Israel and the Woodside North West Shelf Gas extension project.Song as always is No Strain by Southend Rainbows. Produced by the wonderful Dan Dare.Jo’s novel, Painting Portraits of Everyone I’ve Ever Dated, is available in bookstores everywhere, or right here at this link. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week Pat and Tim talk to dan hogan, author of A Secret Third Thing, award-winning poet and co-founder of Subbed-In small press. We chat about the terrors of the lit “scene” in Sydney and Melbourne (and beautiful Boorloo); the agnosticism of Australian publishing on matters of class; and the squeamishness of the industry towards any sort of novelty. Beforehand, Pat and Tim talk Zionist zombie propaganda; the implications of having our first Nigerian head of an Australian political party; and Ben Roberts-Smith’s tragic loss of his court appeal. We also talk about the NatLib split (the splat). We recorded it on Wednesday, and now their back together. It seems like our prognosis– that they were trying to build leverage and push the libs to the right, but that they ultimately would repair the rift– was vindicated again, but in accelerated time.Caveat: Tim, the professional, called Paul Bongiorno Frank Bongiorno at one point. These bloody wog writers dio mio– I guess it’s buonanotte for Tim! Song is No Strain by The Southend Rainbows. Produced as always by Dictator Dan Dare. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week we chat with Crystal Andrews, journalist and founder of Zee Feed. We cover the “Stephen Graham effect” in talking about the politics of zoomer boys; the tension between legacy and new media; and the role of cringe in Ozpol.Pat and Tim also talk about Sussan Ley’s new role in a Guy Ritchie film; Ted O’Brien losing his milk arrowroot; and how all small business owners are fascists.Production once again by “Dictator” Dan Dare, and intro song is by The Southend Rainbows. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

This week we celebrate the death of the parliamentary Liberal party and herald the millennium of Albanese’s Red Sea. We also speak with Pundit, Plaudit and Puerile Pedant Osman Faruqi, co-host of Lamestream with Scott Mitchell. We talk about the ghoulish indifference of Australian media and politics to Gaza; the devastating electoral result for the Greens in the lower house; and the superiority of NRL to AFL.It’s a wonderful conversation, adulterated only by the near-hour of bilious whingeing that we do before Oz gets on the pod. Pat and Tim talk about being right all the time; about the leaderhip aspirations of Sussan “SS” Ley; and about the possible trajectories of our major parties in the wake of the Albogensian Crusade. You might notice that this week’s ep sounds better. That’s because “Dictator” Dan Dare has come onboard as a producer for the show. We doff our trilbies to his efforts at getting us to sound less like your cousin’s basement manifesto project and more like the evil podcasters against which we are competing. While we figure out our new processes, it might also mean a slight delay in the pod. Stick with us.Finally, we’ve got a new logo from Andy Pratt. It’s a pearler, signifying our desire to become the “Latham Handshake” that cripples the Australian media. Title song is No Strain by the Southend Rainbows. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

Two days out from the election, things look set for a Big Fat Labor Drubbing. In this episode, Pat and Tim talk about what a routing would mean for the Tories; the possibility of a revanchist rapprochement between the minor and major Rightwing parties; Kyle Sandilands’ prospects as ambassador to Trump; Jackie O’s Archibald portrait; and the seeping evil of the Craft Beer era.Caveat: we spent several minutes talking about what Bill Shorten is up to, mistakenly claimed he was still minister for the NDIS. Later on, we actually had a conversation about him being Vice Chancellor of Canberra University. It’s this kind of rigour that you can expect from us. Subscribe to Straying for the Morsel and The Yeah Nah Review, follow Timwintoncellectuals and Cormac McCafe on insta; don’t vote for the Tories (or Labor); don’t be a dork.The Yemeni banger in this week’s episode: This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

In this ep, Pat and Tim talk to writer, musician and editor Cher Tan, whose Peripathetic was one of the better books to come out of Australia last year. We chat about the repression of pro-Palestine speech; the role of independent outlets and substack in Australian writing; the development of the internet-friendly “house style” among writers and the need to protect our nepo babies and venture capitalists.Beforehand, the Battler boys talk about the dead Prelate (RIP to a real one); the absolute carnage of the Liberal election campaign and the peak Craft Beer aesthetics of Betoota Advocate running a Labor social media campaign. We also talk in general about Australian comedy writing, from Rodney “The Duke” Rude to Friendly “Sleep in a Suit” Jordies.Like and subscribe, and follow Straying for the Morsel and Patrick Marlborough on substack.Onya. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com

An easter treat with two eps in a single week. Tim’s off to do the Yuppie Ghan (driving from Garramilla to Uluru) so we’re in early. Alithya anesti.Joined this week by Charlie Lewis from Crikey and RRR, chatting about the rizz problem in the Liberal party and Dutton’s calamitous campaign; the absence of intrigue in this year’s election and Crikey’s own bit of brattery in running a fake candidate for the senate. Then, Pat and Tim talk about the WA Greens doing the settler thing and throwing an ANZAC doof. We also listen to the AI “diss track” that the Libs unveiled to collective horror on the weekend; speculate on what goes in on George Brandis’ opera box; and pine for Pyne and his gawky brand of cuntservery. Bit of an easter egg at the end, with the glorious Southend Rainbows paean to Christopher: Place Beyond the Pynes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thebattler.substack.com