Claim OwnershipThe Ben & Jamesa Podcast: Lead with Humanity!
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🎙️ Welcome to The Ben & Jamesa Podcast. Join us for thoughtful conversations, personal stories, and a splash of humor as we explore what it truly means to lead with humanity—at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Each episode digs into workplace transformation, intersectional insights, and personal growth, giving you ideas, inspiration, and practical tools to build real, authentic community. Subscribe, hit the bell, and come along for the journey—let’s lead with humanity, together.
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Fear isn’t always what it seems. In this episode, we explore real vs. imagined fear, how it shows up in our nervous system, and how identity shapes the fears we live with. Stories from our life in Portugal, recent headlines, and listener letters help guide a conversation on moving from fear to freedom and living more openheartedly. ✨ Practical takeaways for noticing and working with fear in your own life. Support the show
Love isn’t just desire, provision, or possession—yet too often that’s what men are taught to believe. In this episode, we dive into 5 Things Men Don’t Understand About Love, drawing from the wisdom of bell hooks, James Baldwin, and John Makransky. We explore why love requires vulnerability, accountability, and daily practice—and why true love is always liberation, not control. This isn’t about shaming men, but about breaking free from harmful myths and discovering what real, connected love ca...
Control culture is everywhere—at work, in our relationships, even in how we treat ourselves. But what exactly is it, and how does it quietly shape the way we live, lead, and connect with others? In today’s episode, we unpack the hidden ways control culture shows up in our lives and explore what it looks like to move toward connection instead. This is the first step in learning how to build workplaces and communities that thrive on trust, accountability, and real humanity. 🎙️ The Ben and James...
We’re continuing our series on community with a focus on our very first one—family. We’ll dig into the growing trend of adult estrangement, explore 4 common causes that fracture connection within families, and share 6 practical steps to begin rebuilding trust and closeness—no matter how old your children are. 🎙️ The Ben and Jamesa Podcast is where we explore the deep work of healing, leadership, and building connection in a world built for disconnection. → Join our Patreon for insight-driven...
What if our workplaces actually felt like community? In Part 3 of our series on community, we explore how the harmful patterns of whiteness and control show up in our work lives—and what it would take to build something more human. We talk about: 🌱 The 4 pillars of building real community at work 🏢 Examples of companies that run without bosses or hierarchy (yes, really) 🌲 Tree communities that pass down trauma wisdom across generations 🇵🇹 Honest reflections on parenting, Portuga...
In Part Two of Community as an Antidote to Whiteness, we name five common ways people unintentionally sabotage the very thing they say they want: community. From profit-chasing to power-seeking, avoidance of vulnerability to lack of accountability—and one surprise obstacle—we unpack how these patterns show up, why they’re rooted in whiteness and control culture, and what it takes to do something different. We also share a mushroom fact about root entanglement, reflect on our first year living...
What even is community—and how have whiteness and capitalism distorted our understanding of it? In this first episode of our new series, we explore how community has been replaced by performance, productivity, and transactions—and what it means to reclaim it as our birthright. From Trevor Noah’s critique of “buying” connection to our own stories of belonging and rupture, we’re asking the big question: You can’t build what you haven’t defined. So how do we begin? Support the show
This week on The Ben and Jamesa Podcast, we’re talking about what happens when some of America’s brightest minds decide they’ve had enough—and leave. We’re exploring the growing wave of academics and thinkers moving abroad, why it’s happening, and what it says about connection, control, and culture. We also share a few updates from our lives in Portugal, a new mushroom fact, and our recent brushes with stardom—from thoughtful conversations to unexpected spotlights. Let’s get into it. Support ...
This Fourth of July, we’re unpacking the irony of a holiday built on freedom—while whiteness continues to rely on control. We explore how white people can move from control to connection using our CACTI model: Compassion, Accountability, Curiosity, Transparency, and Insight. Real freedom doesn’t come from dominance—it comes from unlearning. We’re also talking about tree shyness—yes, it’s a real thing—and the wild experience of watching airplanes land at Madeira’s famously intense airport. Com...
This week, we explore how violence—whether in relationships, policing, or foreign policy—is normalized and often celebrated in white American culture. Drawing from our experience in domestic violence work, we unpack how control, blame, and force show up not just interpersonally but systemically. We also respond to a listener’s discomfort with the idea of Black joy, revealing how even joy can be seen as a threat within a culture built on control. Plus: a São João festival story and a sleepy fu...
In this episode, we dig into the discomfort, resentment, and backlash that often show up when Black joy takes center stage—especially around holidays like Juneteenth. We explore why white supremacy depends on Black suffering, how joy becomes an act of resistance, and what it reveals about white identity when that joy is met with hostility. Jamesa shares personal stories, we unpack current headlines, and yes—there’s even a mushroom fact. Support the show
This week, we’re joined by the brilliant Eckoes, creator behind one of our favorite social media accounts, Shit I Have a Problem With. We get into what it actually means to have a problem with something — and how to do it in a way that doesn’t just center your ego or shut the whole thing down. We talk about why discomfort isn’t the enemy, how calling something out can still leave room for connection, and why the goal isn’t to always be agreeable — it’s to be real. We also reflect on Portugal’...
In this episode, we dive into the four F’s—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—and how these survival responses can derail us from doing the right thing, especially in moments that call for courage, clarity, or connection. We unpack how these patterns show up in leadership, relationships, and everyday life—and share practical ways to navigate them more effectively. And of course, we sprinkle in real stories from our life here in Portugal—because healing and humor go hand in hand. Support the show
What do phrases like “pro-life,” “law and order,” and “family values” have in common? They sound virtuous—but they’re often just control, dressed up as morality. In this episode, Ben and Jamesa—coming to you from our life here in Portugal—unpack how language that sounds good on the surface can actually be a tool for domination, silence, and harm. We explore how these phrases shape everything from public policy to workplace culture, and how control often hides behind ideas that seem unassailab...
We hear it all the time: “Of course I hate racism.” But when we start looking a little deeper — into silence, avoidance, who we protect, and what we’re willing to give up — the picture gets murkier. In this episode, we’re talking honestly about the gap between intention and impact when it comes to anti-racism. We get into: Why it’s easier to say the right thing than to live differentlyHow control, comfort, and avoidance keep racism aliveWhat the recent Google discrimination lawsuit tells us ...
If you’ve ever wondered where to begin with this podcast, this is the one. In our season 9 opener, we bring you into the heart of our work: building a community rooted in letting go of control and choosing connection. We explore the recent Portuguese elections—how voting works here, what’s at stake, and how it all contrasts with the U.S. political system. Then we dig into something heavier: Black Fatigue. A term originally created to describe the long-term physical and emotional toll of racis...
In this episode, we dive into the viral video of a white woman calling a Black child the N-word—and the jaw-dropping fact that she made over $600K in donations afterward. We unpack what this says about whiteness, dehumanization, and the selective empathy that shields white perpetrators while abandoning Black children. We also talk about the staggering global indifference to the suffering of children in Gaza and the disturbing patterns in white responses to harm—especially when the victims a...
In today’s episode, Ben and Jamesa reflect on the recent blackout in Portugal and what it revealed about control, flexibility, and unexpected stillness. They also dive into insights sparked by the film A Real Pain, exploring themes of grief, family dynamics, mental health, and the lifelong practice of learning to get along. It’s a conversation about disruption, connection, and what we carry with us—whether the lights are on or not. Support the show
In this episode of Ben and Jamesa, we dive into the intersection of neurodivergence and social justice, exploring what it means to live as a neurospicy family in a world built for neurotypical norms. We unpack RFK Jr.’s recent comments about autism and why pathologizing neurodivergence is both harmful and outdated. From emotional sensitivity to sensory needs, we share how our neurospicyness shapes the way we move through parenting, relationships, and justice work. We also explore how ne...
In this episode, we explore what it really means to step outside your comfort zone—whether that’s moving across the world, engaging with unfamiliar identities, or sitting with uncomfortable truths about privilege and power. We kick things off with Jamesa’s personal journey into expat life and her new focus on coaching individuals and families through the emotional and identity-shifting realities of living abroad. From there, we dive into the deeper discomfort many people—especially those with...
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