The Best of You

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or stuck in patterns of self-criticism, this episode offers a practical path forward rooted in both psychology and spiritual wisdom. In this powerful re-air of a foundational episode, Dr. Alison Cook introduces the transformative approach behind Boundaries for Your Soul. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Christian faith, Alison shares how to lead your inner life with clarity, kindness, and strength. Instead of pushing away difficult emotions, you’ll learn how to create space for them—with healthy boundaries that bring healing and peace. This episode explores: A step-by-step framework to navigate emotional overwhelm The 3 internal roles we all carry—and how to listen to each one with care Why spiritual growth requires emotional awareness How Jesus modeled soul-level boundaries An effective way to approach anxiety, anger, or fear without shame Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or deep in the work of personal transformation, this episode will give you tools to understand yourself better and lead from a place of wholeness. 📥 Get your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here:  📚 Explore Alison’s books:  Boundaries for Your Soul: https://a.co/d/fwOjZde The Best of You: https://a.co/d/fjkMhoc I Shouldn’t Feel This Way: https://a.co/d/5x1cgie 📥 Get the Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools mentioned in last week’s episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on internal boundaries, check out: Episode 40: 5 Steps to Healing Painful Emotions Episode 41:  Boundaries With Fear And Anxiety Episode 42: How to Honor Sadness & Set Boundaries with Loneliness Episode 43: How to Tame Your Inner Critic Episode 44: Why Anger is a Surprising Friend 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Give online therapy a try and see how it can help you become more present, more aware, and more connected to the life you want to live. Visit  BetterHelp.com/BESTOFYOU. Visit FayNutrition.com/BESTOFYOU to see if you qualify to work with a dietitian for as little as $0. Check out cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU to get 45% off. Sleep cooler, lounge lighter, and embrace your cozy days with Cozy Earth. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is summer leaving you more frazzled than refreshed? Between travel, family gatherings, long days, and shifting routines, summer can test your limits in unexpected ways. If you’re feeling stretched thin, resentful, or just plain exhausted—this episode will be your step by step practical guide to resetting your boundaries. Backed by recent research and years of experience, Dr. Alison walks you through why boundaries are essential for your brain, relationships, and emotional health—and how to set them with clarity and kindness. In this episode, you’ll learn: How healthy boundaries light up your brain The difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior Three levels of boundaries—from simple resets to firm protection Five boundary shortcuts you can start using today (with practical scripts!) Why the hardest boundaries are often the ones we set with ourselves If you’re longing for a summer with more peace, more joy, and less emotional exhaustion, this episode will leave you feeling empowered and equipped. 📥 Get Alison's free printable with the 5 boundary tools mentioned in this episode when you sign up for her weekly email. For more on boundaries, check out: Episodes 24 — Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 25 — Types of “No” Part 1 — How to say “No” in Healthy Relationships Episode 26 — Types of “No” Part 2 — How to say “No” to Toxicity, The Real Meaning of Turn The Other Cheek & How to Form A Boundaries Committee 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your story—even the complicated parts—could become a doorway to deeper faith? In this inspiring conversation, Dr. Alison Cook is joined by author and professor Dr. Esau McCaulley, whose journey is a powerful example of how owning your story—even the hard parts—can lead to growth, healing, and deeper purpose. Together they explore how to reflect on your past with clarity, how to honor your roots while still moving forward, and how to build a faith and life that reflects who you truly are becoming. We talk about: How to grow stronger by facing your story with honesty Why your past doesn’t define your future—but it does matter How to forgive and still honor your boundaries The role of family, race, and faith in shaping identity How to live with more purpose by integrating your whole self A hopeful perspective on becoming grounded, resilient, and open to change If you’re on a journey of becoming more emotionally and spiritually whole, this episode will leave you feeling inspired, grounded, and more connected to your own growth. 📚 Learn more about Esau’s work at esaumccaulley.com 📖 Read his new memoir: How Far to the Promised Land  If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: Episode 156⁠ — Why Fear Shows Up When You’re About to Grow & How to Break Free from Self-Sabotage with Mary Marantz Episode 163⁠ — Healing Spiritual Wounds: Understanding Abuse in Faith Spaces with Rachel Clinton Chen 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when the very place that was supposed to nourish your soul becomes a source of deep harm? In this deeply moving and necessary conversation, therapist, pastor, and trauma specialist Rachael Clinton Chen joins Dr. Alison Cook to talk about the pain of spiritual abuse—and what it looks like to begin healing from it. Whether you’ve experienced overt harm in a religious setting or carry subtle wounds from spiritual messaging that shaped your identity in unhealthy ways, this episode offers a gentle, powerful invitation toward healing, dignity, and reclaiming your voice. Rachael shares: Her own story of healing from spiritual abuseWhy spiritual pain is often so hard to name How systems of control in churches and families silence women and survivors The importance of embodiment and “coming home to yourself” in healing A theological lens for honoring your anger, grief, and truth If you've ever questioned your worth because of how faith was used against you—or wondered how to hold onto your spirituality while confronting the harm—you’re not alone. This episode is full of insight, validation, and hope for your journey. 📋Spiritual abuse can be hard to recognize, because it’s often the water we’re swimming in. That’s why The Allender Center put together a self-guided checklist designed to help identify signs of spiritual abuse in your own life or the lives of others. You can download it here. 🖥Take a healing step and start The Spiritual Abuse & Healing Online Course and use code COOK20 for 20% at checkout. If this episode speaks to you, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 67⁠ — The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing—Gen Z & A Hidden Search for Meaning with Cindy Gao Episode 153 — Embodied Healing, Spiritual Trauma, and the Journey Home to Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride ⁠Episode 17⁠ — What Is Church Hurt and How Do I Heal? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Better sleep starts today! Get a birch mattress and test it out for 100 nights risk-free PLUS a discount for being a listener by visiting birchliving.com/BESTOFYOU. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when repair in your family isn’t possible—at least not yet? In this powerful follow-up to last week’s conversation on family pain, psychologist and author Dr. Joshua Coleman sits with me as we explore the heartbreak and complexity of family estrangement—from both sides of the story. With deep compassion and personal insight, Dr. Coleman shares what he’s learned through decades of research—and from his own journey as a parent who experienced estrangement from his adult daughter. Whether you're the one who stepped away from a parent or you're a parent who’s been cut off by a child, this conversation offers a rare, balanced look at a path to healing. Dr. Coleman shares: Why estrangement is rising—and what’s really behind it When a temporary break might be helpful What to do if your parent won’t take responsibility—or if your child won’t re-engage How humility (not humiliation) opens the door to healing Practical guidance for both adult children and estranged parents If you’ve ever wrestled with how to honor a parent who hurt you—or how to rebuild with a child who’s walked away—this episode is full of wisdom, hope, and next steps. 🖥 Learn more about Dr. Coleman’s work here. 📚 Grab a copy of his book Rules of Estrangement here. If you liked this episode, you’ll also love: ⁠Episode 161⁠ — Finding Yourself without Losing Your Family: Healing From Dysfunctional Family Patterns with Jerry Wise Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds: The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to cozyearth.com and use code BESTOFYOU for 40% off best-selling temperature-regulating sheets, apparel, and more. Trust me—you’ll feel the difference the very first night. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Start seeing a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Connect further with Dr. Alison Cook: IG: https://www.instagram.com/dralisoncook/ www.dralisoncook.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do when your family is the source of your deepest wounds? How do you hold onto your identity without cutting off the people who raised you? In this transformative conversation, therapist and relationship coach Jerry Wise discusses the concept of self-differentiation—a powerful framework for healing from family dysfunction without shame or blame. Whether you’re navigating complex family ties, considering going no contact, or simply longing to feel more like you, this episode offers a clear path forward rooted in wisdom, compassion, and courage. Jerry shares: His own journey from dysfunction to emotional clarity Why cutting ties doesn’t always lead to healing—and what might How to spot when you’re still emotionally enmeshed (even with distance) Practical steps to stop reacting and start reclaiming your sense of self If you’ve ever felt stuck in old family roles, overwhelmed by guilt, or confused about how to move forward with—or without—your family, this episode will meet you with both empathy and actionable insight. 🖥 Learn more about Jerry’s work: Jerry Wise Relationship Systems 📺 Watch his free training and explore his self-differentiation course If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 147 — The Hidden Trauma of Being the Chosen Child & a Path Toward Healing—Making Sense of Your Family Story Episode 127 — Healing Childhood Wounds—The Enmeshed Family & 5 Toxic Patterns that Affect Your Ability to Thrive in Adult Relationships ⁠Episode 85⁠ — The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take On In Dysfunction Thanks to our Sponsors! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do you do with the ache of not feeling wanted? The part of you that wonders if you’ll ever truly belong? In this powerful conversation with IFS therapist and author Tammy Sollenberger, we explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model helps you turn toward those tender places inside—rather than pushing them away. This conversation originally struck a deep chord with listeners—and it feels especially relevant right now. Whether you’re hearing it for the first time or tuning in again, it holds fresh insight for your journey. Tammy shares: Her personal story of feeling unwanted, even though her parents loved her. Why “parts work” is so transformative in healing emotional wounds How self-compassion opens the door to real connection A simple practice to begin befriending the hurting parts within If you’ve ever struggled with feeling left out, overlooked, or not enough—this episode will meet you with kindness, insight, and hope. 📘 Learn more about Tammy’s book: The One Inside 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you'll love: Episode 108 Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma Episodes 39 through 43 —Boundaries For Your Soul series on IFS in 5 parts Thanks to our sponsors: Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m joined by the brilliant and beautifully honest Dr. Heather Thompson Day for a conversation on spiritual wrestling. Heather’s latest book, What If I’m Wrong? Navigating the Waves of Fear and Failure explores what happens when the faith you once relied on starts to unravel. Heather shares openly about her father’s battle with Alzheimer’s, the spiritual crisis it triggered, and the years she spent in what she calls “spiritual drowning.” We talk about attachment, disappointment, failure, and the unexpected ways God shows up when everything else is falling apart. This conversation is a powerful example of how doubt and faith can co-exist. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re allowed to question your faith—or felt like you were losing your grip on God—this episode is for you. We explore: What happens when the God you believed in no longer matches your reality How therapy helped Heather not just psychologically but spiritually Why what feels like failure may be something deeper—and more redemptive The unexpected miracle Heather experienced at the end of her long season of doubt This isn’t a story of tidy answers. It’s a story of holding on, even when you’re not sure what you’re holding onto. 🎧 Listen now and share with someone who needs a reminder: doubt doesn’t mean you’re losing your faith—it might mean you’re learning to trust in a deeper way. 🔗 Heather’s new book: What If I’m Wrong?🔗 Connect with Heather: heatherthompsonday.com🔗 Follow Heather on Instagram: @HeatherThompsonDay 💬 Got a question or reflection? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. ‍ If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ ⁠Episode 98: I Shouldn’t Feel Alone in My Grief—Why Your Grief Matters & How to Support Those Who Are Grieving with J.S. Park Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken—Exploring a Broken Spirit & the Dark Night of the Soul with Christopher Cook ‍ Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting ⁠faithgateway.com/NIVAB⁠ and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit⁠ GoGeviti.com⁠ to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to ⁠StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! ⁠ ‍ Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍ While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your most distressing thoughts aren’t who you are—but a signal pointing to pain that needs healing? Therapist and author Monica DiCristina joins me to talk about the deeper emotional and spiritual wounds that often lie beneath distressing thoughts. Monica shares her personal journey with trauma-related intrusive thoughts and the power of finally naming what hurt. We also explore what to do when intrusive thoughts show up in our inner worlds, how to seek the right kind of support, and why healing always starts with curiosity rather than shame. Pick up your copy of Monica's new book: Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist's Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts Connect with Monica DiCristina 📞 Call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. If you liked this episode, you’ll love:‍ Episode 134: Bridging Mysticism and Science—A Personal JourneyThrough OCD with Therapist Ryan Kuja Episode 97: I Shouldn't Feel This Anxious—Insights on Trauma & Healing with Monique Koven Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're tackling a topic that continues to strike a chord with so many of you: how to make a change when you're stuck between loyalty and growth, guilt and freedom, regret and redemption. If you’ve ever struggled with a complicated relationship or wrestled with the quiet shame of feeling stuck, this episode is for you. We explore: The 3 brave paths you can take when a relationship feels hard. A powerful story of a woman confronting regret. How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt What "radical surrender" really means. Whether you're braving a big life change or feeling held back by old emotional patterns, this episode will gives you courage, clarity, and compassion. 📞 Plus, don’t forget to call 307-429-2525 to share your thoughts or a question for a future episode. ‍If you liked this, you’ll love:‍ Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free – How to Stop Blaming Yourself for Things That Aren’t Your Fault ‍Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier!‍ ‍Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound engineering by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten ‍While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if fear isn’t a warning sign—but a signal you’re stepping into something that matters? I’m joined by the brilliant and creative Mary Marantz to explore why fear often shows up right before a breakthrough—and how to stop seeing it as a reason to back down. We also get into:* How fear hides behind perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination* The surprising link between fear and creativity* Why grief is often the first step in learning to trust yourself* What it means to become the “grown-up in the room” for your own healing* How naming your inner critic can help disarm its power Check out Mary’s new book Underestimated! 📞 We want to hear from you! What’s one area of your emotional, mental, or spiritual health where you’d like to grow? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a voicemail with your name, where you’re from, and your answer. Your voice may be featured in a future episode! Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 10: What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do I Overcome Them with Mary Marantz Episode 20: Making Peace with Yourself (& Facing Your Fear of Disappointing Other People) Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/NIVAB and using promo code BESTOFYOU! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Give your loved ones a unique, heartfelt gift you’ll all cherish for years—StoryWorth! Right now, save $10 on your first purchase when you go to StoryWorth.com/bestofyou! For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Editing by Giulia HjortMusic by Andy LuitenSound design by Kelly KramarikWhile Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do I feel guilty for protecting my time or energy? Is this a boundary—or am I just avoiding someone? Boundaries stir up a lot of emotions. But what if they’re not about building walls, avoiding people, or being “selfish”? In this episode, I share a deeply personal and surprising take on what boundaries truly are—and why they matter more than you think. You'll hear: *Why healthy boundaries begin not with rejection, but with rhythm *The two most common ways we misuse boundaries *A powerful metaphor that changed how I think about relationships *How codependency, enmeshment, and burnout signal boundary issues *Real-life scripts and strategies to set boundaries with compassion and clarity Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 124: Boundaries & Numbing—How to Set Healthy Limits and Stop Avoiding Your Feelings Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil Episode 7: Why Are Boundaries So Hard to Set? Thanks to our sponsors: Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt emotionally exhausted—even while doing all the “right” things—this episode is for you. I’m sharing a personal story and unpacking something I see in so many women I work with: the quiet, often unnoticed pattern of denying your own needs in the name of being kind, helpful, or faithful. We’ll talk about how these patterns take root, how faith communities can unknowingly reinforce them, and why that emotional exhaustion you’re feeling might be trying to tell you something important. In this episode, I explore: * How codependency hides behind helping & overfunctioning * How the fawn response might be showing up in your life * The impact of church messages that tell us to "die to ourselves" without teaching us how to live * What healthy dependence looks like * Why your locus of control—internal vs. external—matters more than you think Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter? Episode 14: The Fawn Response & The Hidden Root of People Pleasing Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I’m joined by someone whose work has profoundly shaped my own healing journey—Dr. Hillary McBride. A psychologist, researcher, author, and speaker, Hillary is a leading voice in the integration of embodiment, spirituality, and trauma recovery. We discuss her personal story as well as themes from her powerful new book, Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing. Whether you’ve struggled with body image, experienced spiritual harm, or simply long to feel more whole—this conversation is for you. We explore: * Hillary’s story of healing from an eating disorder—and how it led her into her life’s work * Why body image issues are never just about the body * How trauma fragments our nervous system and disrupts our sense of safety, trust, and self * What spiritual trauma is and how it can quietly take root in early beliefs and experiences * How our attachment to God is often shaped by relational wounds—and what healing can look like Order your copy of Holy Hurt here Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 48: Loving Your Body as a Spiritual Practice, Why the Flesh Isn’t the Body, and 3 Heresies We Kind of Believe Thanks to our sponsors: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive for 40% off best-selling sheets, towels, pajamas, and more with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Get up to 50% off your custom-fit mouth guard at www.shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU today! Editing by Giulia Hjort Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you feel constantly driven to get everything right—to be the perfect partner, parent, worker, or friend? On this week's solo episode, Dr. Alison explores the hidden relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, revealing how trying to be perfect is often a disguised way of managing deeper fears. You'll discover: * Why perfectionism is rarely about actually being perfect. * The main ways anxiety cleverly disguises itself. * The surprising question you need to ask yourself when you can’t stop perfecting. * Practical steps to break free from perfectionistic behaviors. Today's episode will give you proven strategies to finally break free from perfectionism. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 29: Perfectionism and Proving Your Worth: How to Stop Chasing Approval and Start Living the Life You Actually Want Episode 112: Navigating Anxiety—Practical, Compassionate Insights to Recognize and Manage Anxiety Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Editing by Giulia Hjort Sound design by Kelly Kramarik Music by Andy Luiten While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the invisible yet relentless responsibilities that occupy your mind every single day? You’re not alone. In today’s insightful conversation, Dr. Alison welcomes psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Morgan Cutlip, author of a brand new book, A Better Share, to unpack the complexities of the mental load. Dr. Cutlip brings clarity and practical strategies to a topic that often creates tension and misunderstanding within families. Together, they explore: * The definition and dimensions of the mental load—physical, mental, and emotional. * Why women typically bear more of this invisible labor. * How to recognize signs of mental overload and prevent burnout and resentment. * Practical, real-world solutions for effectively communicating and sharing responsibilities with your partner. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 122: Navigating Anxiety, Therapy, and Spiritual Formation—Balancing Mental, Emotional, & Spiritual Health with John Mark Comer Thanks to our sponsors: For 20% off your order, head to Reliefband.com and use code BESTOFYOU. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Visit GoGeviti.com to learn more about how you can start optimizing your health without leaving home today and use code BESTOFYOU. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this thought-provoking episode, Dr. Alison talks with Sheila Wray Gregoire, groundbreaking author of The Great Sex Rescue. They confront harmful misconceptions about sexual intimacy within Christian marriages, amplifying the often-overlooked voices of women. Sheila shares powerful insights drawn from her extensive research involving over 20,000 Christian women, challenging damaging narratives and revealing startling truths about sexual satisfaction, obligation, and intimacy. You'll learn: * The 4 harmful teachings that negatively impact sexual intimacy * Why “sex as obligation” is so destructive for women * How to reframe your sex story with your spouse * Practical steps toward recovering true intimacy Sheila's compassionate yet bold approach offers hope, clarity, and practical wisdom for those longing to rewrite their sexual stories, reclaiming God's true design for intimacy. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 125: Recovering From Purity Culture: Dismantle the Myths, Reject Shame-Based Sexuality, and Move Forward in Your Faith with Dr. Camden Morgante Episode 126: Restoring Wonder & Play in Intimacy—Navigating Sexual Brokenness, Safety, and Vulnerability with Therapist Sam Jolman Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. Visit cozyearth.com and unlock an exclusive 35% off with code BESTOFYOU. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison explores the pervasive issue of narcissism—a term that's become increasingly relevant in today's culture. From toxic relationships to leadership failures, the influence of narcissism is widespread, affecting many without us even realizing it. Dr. Alison explains what it is and offers strategies to protect ourselves from its insidious effects. You'll discover: * The true meaning of narcissism beyond the buzzword. * How to recognize love bombing * The dangers of gaslighting and manipulation * The tactics of triangulation * Practical steps to guard your emotional health and develop resilience. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode1: What is Narcissism Really? Episode 13: Dr. Alison Answers Your Questions: Criticism, Narcissism, and Boundaries Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. As a listener of The Best of You Podcast, you can qualify to see a registered dietitian for as little as $0 by visiting faynutrition.com/bestofyou. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. I want all my listeners to enjoy a deep, restful night’s sleep with a new mattress from Birch. Go to birchliving.com/bestofyou for 20% off sitewide. Contact www.restoringthesoul.com and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf called "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender, a pioneer in Christian counseling and founder of The Allender Center, joins Dr. Alison to explore the raw, real work of marriage, trauma, and intimacy. Known for his groundbreaking book, The Wounded Heart, Allender has spent decades teaching how personal trauma shapes relationships. And on the very day of his 48th wedding anniversary, he openly shares how these dynamics continue to play out in his own marriage. In this episode, we dive into: * The surprising (and hilarious) fight he and his wife had the night before their anniversary * Why marriage is both heaven and hell—and why that’s actually a good thing * The childhood wounds that have impacted his own marriage * Why logic doesn’t help when we get emotionally hijacked * How to fight well and grow through conflict Check out The Deep Rooted Marriage anywhere books are sold. Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 137: The Mindful Marriage—Overcome Pain Cycles and Discover the Surprising Secret to Lasting Love with Ron and Nan Deal Thanks to our sponsors: Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Go to AquaTru.com and enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout to get 20% OFF any AquaTru purifier! Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey to the place you want to be. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, download their free pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Turn back time on the appearance of your skin with Purity Woods’s Age-Defying Dream Cream. Go to puritywoods.com/BESTOFYOU or enter code BESTOFYOU at checkout for an additional 10% off your first order. Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this powerful episode, Dr. Alison welcomes Adam Young, a psychotherapist and author of the new book, “Make Sense of Your Story”, to dive into the complexities of family dynamics, and how the stories we tell about our families shape our adult lives. Adam shares his personal experiences and professional insights on how being triangulated within his family as a child impacted his psychological development and emotional health. Here's what you'll learn: * Why it’s crucial to identify family myths * The unique trauma of being the chosen child * Idealizing families—why we do it & how it hurts us * The danger of self-betrayal in relationships * The #1 way to heal childhood attachment wounds * Traits of securely attached relationships Get Make Sense of Your Story by Adam Young Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here. Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here. If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 79: Surviving Trauma & A Path to Forgiveness—Finding God In the Hardest Parts of Your Story With Esau McCaulley Thanks to our sponsors: Go to www.organifi.com/bestofyou today and use code BESTOFYOU for 20% off your order today. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Contact Restoring the Soul today and learn how their Intensive Counseling Process can jump start your journey. As a special gift for The Best of You podcast listeners, visit www.restoringthesoul.com/bestofyou to download their pdf "5 Ways Unresolved Trauma May Be Derailing Your Relationship." Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Music by Andy Luiten Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices