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The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert
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The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

Author: Ashlynn Mitchell

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Have you been through an affair, or struggle with healing a shattered or disconnected relationship?

Each week we will share our 3 different perspectives on topics dealing with relationships, recovery, betrayal & addiction leaving you with HOPE for change no matter your circumstance.
142 Episodes
What does it look like, to be honest?  Why do some lie or share half-truths?  What does that do to relationships?  How can it be given without reservation?  Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby discuss this topic that is so small but is a key building block to safety and trust.
This is part one of a five part series and it will describe how you can know if they are in recovery.  There is a balance between "doing" and "being" recovery.  This series will help identify markers of both to determine if they really are in recovery.  
What Do They Really Mean?

What Do They Really Mean?


When the the conversation seems to take a left turn and then another and in confusion, you ask yourself what they really mean? It is hard to know what they really mean and what they are trying to get at and there are numerous ways the message is clouded.  Let's see what Brannon and Tyler Patrick, his brother that treats sex addiction and betrayal trauma, say about this challenging aspect of recovery.  
Brannon and his brother are both therapists who treat sex addiction and betrayal trauma but how did that happen?  For the first time, they are in the studio to discuss how they both ended up in the same field with the same specialty.  Listen as they discuss some of the key issues they face as therapists from the perspective of brothers.  
The podcast is really a way to Brannon, Ashlynn, and Coby to share their experience and insights from addiction, betrayal, and recovery both in life and in the clinic.  However, they are aware that the anonymity that the podcast provides also does not facilitate the ability for listeners to ask questions.  That is challenging.  However once a month they do allow people to ask questions on their Patreon site.  Today's episode is a sneak peek as to what that monthly Q&A is like.  Find out more about the access to Brannon, Ashlynn, and Coby go to and see what fits you best.  Supporting the podcast can be done with a simple $2 monthly donation.  
When there are so many unknowns in life how do we manage our thoughts to the point of not letting the worst-case scenarios play out in our heads over and over?  How do we recognize we are going down that path before things really get out of control?  How do we reality check our fears that manifest in our minds and feel so real?  Listen as Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby approach this topic.  
Why did Brannon decide to become a therapist?  What was behind his decision and how did he become so specialized?  Listen as Coby and Ashlynn ask all kinds of questions to reveal the man behind the expertise.  
Can We Handle Relapse?

Can We Handle Relapse?


Relapse is a part of recovery and a painful one at that.  What happens when relapse does take place and what is the right course of action?  Listen as Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby walk through the ins and outs of this topic.  
Passive-Aggressive relationships are challenging but most people don't know they are acting that way.  It is taught by example and very easy to pick up.  Honesty and vulnerability are the keys to getting out of this kind of relationship.  It takes mindfulness but once you really get it, you can work on it.   
Sexual feelings can be riddled with shame and guilt which can increase the feeling of being "bad" for having them.  Where do they come from?  How can one see it when it happens and make sense of it?  How can one move beyond them?  Listen as Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby move through this episode on the delicate topic.  
When the conversation of sex is avoided, minimized and ignored what do we do?  What can be done?  How can it be discussed in a way that is safe and honest?  What keeps this topic so taboo?  Listen as Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby share experiences of their own and the journey they have had.
What does it feel like to be controlled by a partner when it comes to sex?  What is the approach when one person in a relationship does not feel like like they can be themselves and authentic to who they are because they are being controlled by the other?  
As part of the Sextember series on the podcast, Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby walk through rejection and how it plays a role in a relationship.  Why does the addict reject the betrayed?  Why does the betrayed reject the addicted?  What must be considered when people deal with this?  Listen as Brannon, Coby and Ashlynn take a new spin on this sensitive topic.
Live Podcast Q&A Event

Live Podcast Q&A Event


This is a one of a kind episode where Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby host a live event and allow their audience to ask questions of any kind.  They have never produced an episode like this so listen as they field questions of all kinds.     For more info go to For online programs to go
Speaking truth for Coby as a young boy was always scary as even if he told the truth, he would get in trouble.  That carried over with him into his marraige to Ashlynn. What else was it that lead Coby from disclosing the truth?  Listen as Brannon leads Ashlynn and Coby on this episode to discovering the things that kept him from disclosing truth.  
Trust is a foundational piece to any relationship but can we feel it and trust that it is what we think it is?  Can we also feel the lack of trust when it is gone or when it starts to subside?  How can we become more sensitive to the emotions and feelings of trust?  Listen as Brannon, Ashlynn and Coby discuss this paramount feeling of trust.
Join in as we revisit our story of recovery! It's been a while since we have really revisited the beginning of our recovery journey and reflecting back there really were 6 elements that shifted our relationship. Get your own shift by visiting Find the relationship you may have thought wasn't possible. Every relationship has challenges, but those with the tools are the ones we can most enjoy. The Addicted, The Betrayed, The Expert is a podcast providing the perspective of 3 individuals, 2 who have come back from broken hearts addiction and betrayal, and an expert therapist.  Together they authentically share how to be in a relationship that lasts.  
Giving our emotions to someone else to determine how we feel, for better or worse, is codependency.  How does this take place?  Why do we betray ourselves when this happens?  This episode will identify how codependent both Coby and Ashlynn were and how they sometimes deal with it still.  
Work was an environment for Coby where he was a different person.  He did not act the same at work as he did at home.  This caused a lot of questions, anxiety, confusion, doubt and betrayal for Ashlynn.  Listen as Coby shares what he did do that was no appropriate at work and its effect on Ashlynn.  
How Will I Ever Feel Enough?

How Will I Ever Feel Enough?


How can one ever feel enough when they are betrayed?  Does the addict struggle with not feeling enough?  What do you do when this is a pervasive thought?  How does one deal with it?  This episode will walk through the journey Ashlynn and Coby on this topic.  
Comments (14)

Kristin King

Is this further down the line in recovery? For example if a wife says she doesn't feel safe and the husband blows up and asks why? According to him, he is safe so now he'll just shut down since she's "not feeling safe"?

Oct 8th

Dianna Pettrone


Sep 21st

Afton McElroy

Hi, I am curious if you have an episodes the address how if you are not dealing with the root of the sex addiction you may infact only replace it with another addiction rather than truly recover. My husband has been through treatment for pornography addiction (he does struggle with getting deep and true understanding of himself but he is not acting out anymore). I'd say his drinking has increased to unhealthy levels over the last year's and more so since treatment. When I ask him if he could set up healthy limits for himself he gets extremely angry, defensive and goes into victim mode. He thinks because he isn't actually drunk it doesn't count as an issue, even though it's 3 days a week he often drinks 8-12 drinks over the span of the day. and also drinks 2-3 most week nights. I hope that if he hears it from somewhere else he might start to understand that he is using the same behaviors as when he was deep in his sex addiction as a result of not truly working through things with the sex addiction. The concepts you teach are applicable in changing your life no matter the addiction type. He loves your podcasts so I'm thinking I could direct him towards a specific episode if one exists? thanks 😊

Aug 31st
Reply (1)

Cindy Lee

this sounds like saanon

Jul 26th

Kenice Whitaker

Where can I learn more about "daily's?"

Apr 24th

Janette Jones

I like this podcast so much except this one. The main point is great but the message is lost at times because the experts terminology (ex: play the victim card") includes shaming of the betrayed. These terms ARE minimizing and if that person has a story that they have not been able to be healed from, saying they are "playing" is tantamount to saying they are pretending, lying, exaggerating, or whining. But then maybe I am just triggered. lol

Mar 26th

Janette Jones

This is the 1st time I listened to you. I am amazed at the parallels that addiction and betrayal trauma have to personality disorder (narcissism) and how it destroys relationships.

Mar 19th


what classifies as a relapse?

Jan 12th

Dan Huff

By far the best recovery podcast. I've heard over 150 other episodes from other podcasts, but there is more useful content here than the others. especially for couples.

Jul 19th


Thank you so much for these podcasts they are saving my lif

Jul 3rd

Kara Bagley

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Mar 30th

Robert Windler

love this podcast.

Nov 9th

Josh Telecsan

where did episodes 1 & 3 go?

Oct 12th
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