The Better Part - Intentional Living for Christian Moms with a Bible-Loving Catholic Mama

Sometimes we think that our friendship with our husbands is the cherry on top of our marriage. The "would be nice" to have. But if you talk to couples who have had long (and happy) marriages, they often refer to their sense of humor and friendship being the key ingredient. Being friends and just spending time enjoying your spouse may be what you need to keep your marriage running so that it can withstand even hard times! How do we do this? Intentionally enjoy your husband! Make the choice to enjoy conversation, past times, and jokes with your husband. When you make efforts to connect even during the small moments in the day, you enjoy him more AND encourage him to make efforts to connect with you. Find common interests. Watching movies, trying new things, following a sports team, being creative, going for walks, etc. Think back in your relationship and notice what you enjoy doing together and then schedule that into your life regularly. Be a student of your husband. It is a temptation to think you know exactly what your husband is thinking or how he'll react, but your husband changes and life changes. Continue to ask questions about what he is thinking and how he feels about certain things. He may surprise you! Resources mentioned in the episode: We're Not Really Strangers: Couples Edition Card Game Conversation starter questions with your spouse--Google them and find a list to go through with your husband!

Marriages can be the greatest joys! They can also bring the greatest pains. This episode speaks to those whose marriages are in a hard state. Some resources to consider: Alpha: The Marriage Course is good for marriages who need a tune up, refresher, or preventative care Hearts Renewed is a program that helps marriages that are struggling through videos, activities, and opportunities for counseling Retrouvaille is a retreat put on to help couples rekindle love and attack difficulties in marriage No podcast will be able to speak to your specific relationship, but this episode passes on some wisdom that teaches to keep the grander vision of your marriage in mind as you tackle difficult seasons and to remember to forgive as Jesus forgives. Our goal is not the perfect marriage, but holiness and eventually Heaven! Action item for all listeners is to commit to praying for all marriages sometime this week! Even if you aren't currently struggling, someone you know is. Let's pray that God strengthens our bonds and sanctifies us through our relationships.

Communication is a HUGE topic, but let's go through a few basics: Happy, healthy marriages are marked by at least five times as many positive comments about the spouse or relationship as negative When there is a hurt or a problem, use a soft start up. Before launching into a problem, ask your husband, "Is this an OK time to talk about something important/difficult for me?" and respect him enough to wait if it isn't! Schedule another time to talk. Use "I" statements rather than "you" statements that begin with your feeling. Use the form "I feel ________ when you _______, and I'd like to ask you to ________ in the future." Avoid absolutes! "Never" and "always" are rarely true and almost never helpful. When in a disagreement, ask, "How important is this on a scale from 1 to 10?" and take that into account as the conversation continues. My husband and I have formed a few rules whenever we're in a fight that have helped us from going too far and taking a disagreement to a big, personal hurt. You may like to use these rules too, or you may find some yourself. The easiest time to identify what your specific rules are is [unfortunately] after a particularly bad fight. Looking back together, try to identify when something got too personal or mean in the fight and when it turned from productive conversation to harmful. PLEASE try to REFRAIN from blaming or accusing. The point is not to start a new fight, but to share with your spouse how something made you feel. Look at #3 above! If the pain point you identify is something that has happened before and that you know is very painful, you may want to agree that it is off-limits. Make your rule specific enough so that you would know if this rule is broken in the future. Knowing that it is a rule may help jolt you out of a bad situation in the future. When a rule is broken, agree to take a breath, apologize, and work on communicating a different way. The person who is affected should make efforts to forgive and let the offender try again. So without further explanation, here are our rules: No cursing All breaks must have a time limit (set beforehand), and you cannot drive somewhere far away. Stay in the fight until resolution. Don't go to bed angry. More wisdom to be found at the Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/about/ And check out wisdom from Doug Hinderer: https://www.happymarriageforlife.com/about https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wr2PuvQFLTA&t=2225s

Let's kick the marriage series off with a fun one! Let's talk temperaments! This is one of the oldest personality tests out there, and it is based more on NATURE than on NURTURE. In fact, often when investigating what temperament you are, you are supposed to think about how you were as a child. As we grow, we tend to develop habits, grow in virtues, and learn how to soften out some of our less desirable attributes, which can mask our natural tendencies. If you haven't ever looked into your own temperament, check out this quiz: https://www.temperamentquiz.com/ You will likely be given a primary and a secondary temperament. If your husband can also discover his temperament, it could be fun for you to compare and contrast your natural reactions to life events, and to see how you handle your life and relationship together. If you would like an overview of the temperaments, here's a good one in the context of faith: https://spiritualdirection.com/2019/03/18/the-four-temperaments-and-the-spiritual-life Lastly, if you'd like to learn more, I recommend the books by Art and Laraine Bennett. The Temperament God Gave Your Kids has helped me on MANY occasions! These go through many fun combinations of spousal temperament combinations and parent-to-kid combinations! Even if you don't feel completely understood by any singular temperament, it's food for conversation, and that can be really helpful! Here are some ideas for fun discussion with your husband. Conversation starters with your husband about temperaments: Do you know your (and your spouse's) temperament? What is your favorite thing about your spouse's temperament? Do you share a temperament? How do you think that affects the way you run your house/family (for better and for worse)? Does your shared temperament (or lack thereof) affect the overall culture of your family? How do you think that affects your kids? Make sure to start with the positives! If you have a temperament that is not represented in your relationship, are there any qualities that you are missing that need to be tended to? (i.e. a couple missing a melancholic could use a growth in commitment, structure, or aim for ideals)

Let's begin a new series on MARRIAGE! This episode sets a perspective for the rest of this series by: Giving background info on Jenna's marriage story Reminding that our marriage cannot (and is not meant to) be our total fulfillment--that's God's job! Separating major marriage issues including abuse or other patterns of major difficulties from the more common problems husbands and wives deal with. I can't wait to go through this series with you! Please join me every week so we can grow in love for our husbands and ultimately, God! Remember: This series will go through many topics that pertain to marriage and will compile "best practices" from research, experts, marriage counselors, and personal experience, BUT it cannot replace good, personal counsel. If you are having major marriage issues, please still listen! But also, seek out professional help from someone who will help you fight for your marriage. If you are not sure where to start, check out Hearts Renewed: a marriage transformation program at https://www.heartsrenewed.org/ Before next week, think about: What season you are in in your marriage right now (winter, spring, summer or fall) 10 ways your husband shows (or tries to show) his love for you

Join next Tuesday, May 28th for a new series all about... MARRIAGE! I hope you join me for all kinds of topics concerning marriage, including: communication, friendship, parenting, finances, and more! See you here next week!

For the last episode of this series, Marci Combo and I discuss what prayer looks like for each of us. We answer a couple of questions that listeners have asked about: how our relationships with each person of the Holy Trinity (God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) work in our prayer lives, and what our daily prayer routines tend to look like. We also touch on topics that haven't yet been discussed in this series including: the sacraments, praise and worship, the value of friends who are like-minded in faith, parts in our lives where prayer has been more difficult, and more! We hope you enjoy this candid conversation! After this episode, The Better Part will be taking a break! Keep subscribed to this podcast, and look forward to the next series coming up in a couple of months. Follow @thebetterpartpod on Instagram to be kept up-to-date on when and what that series will be! Can't wait to see you then! Please share your feedback for future episodes and series through this form: https://forms.gle/Wb1svgcskrxQaCoP8

Join in for a rosary that follows along with verses from God's Holy Word! The rosary is a beautiful, effective prayer that allows you to meditate on "mysteries" while repeating rote prayers. If you've never prayed the rosary, check out this thorough and helpful page from Hallow. It gives an explanation of what the rosary is, why we pray it, and how to pray it. https://hallow.com/blog/how-to-pray-the-rosary/#why For more scriptural rosaries, check out Kate and Mike, Catholic Crusade on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2kswYgBvPQMOvzn4Z3Yi5Q?si=CjBIpjhhTXmsN6o6x-adjg&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A5uz4hhJ2QYtsIJ7Xf4pb32 Lastly, if you'd like to give feedback for the next series of this podcast, please fill out this form: https://forms.gle/Wb1svgcskrxQaCoP8

Whether we show up nice and neat or as a big ol' mess, God is 100% present to us! Reflect about how He loves us despite our mess and then join in for another led meditation. This meditation comes from the book An Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. It prompts you to consider how you were created fully by God and not by your own doing. The world would have gone on without you, but God deemed to create you out of love for this time in particular. In gratitude, we offer our praise and thanks to Him and apologize for when we forget this fact! This amazing book has more wonderful meditations as well as simple, short chapters that can prompt your heart toward God. I receive absolutely nothing if you buy this book, I just truly think it is wonderful! Check it out here: https://a.co/d/fSr2kp5

Let's talk about Lent and then meditate on scripture together! This episode uses imaginative prayer, which is a beautiful way to dive deeper into a narrative passage of the Bible and pick up on details you may have missed in a simple reading. If you want to do more imaginative prayer on your own and would like a guide, check out this website: https://campusministry.nd.edu/pray/ways-to-pray/imaginative-prayer-with-scripture/ Sometimes this type of imaginative prayer is called Lectio Divina, but there is also another form of Lectio Divina where you read a part of scripture several times and allow it to affect you deeper each time. This can be used with passages that aren't necessarily narrative, like Psalms, verses from epistles of the New Testament, or other verses from the Bible. If you'd like some directions on how to do this type of meditation, check out this link: https://campusministry.nd.edu/pray/ways-to-pray/lectio-divina/ If you like led meditations on scripture, check out the Pray as You Go Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/podcast-pray-as-you-go/id1447749598

This episode goes through some of St. Ignatius' Rules for Spiritual Discernment. This is huge for understanding God's voice and voices of evil spirits in your life. Sometimes feeling God's presence and understanding his voice is easy and sometimes it is really hard! Sometimes our prayer feels fueling, refreshing, and like deep communion with God, and sometimes prayer feels dry and like we are just wandering along. In his rules for discernment of spirits, St. Ignatius helps us understand 1) how God's voice sounds depending on our spiritual state (AKA how much sin or virtue rules our lives), 2) what to do when God doesn't feel near, and 3) what to do when we are feeling particularly close to God and living on a spiritual high. Listen in to hear the basics of these rules for discernment and then check out the written rules here: https://scepterpublishers.org/blogs/scepter-blog-corner/14-rules-for-the-discernment-of-spirits-by-st-ignatius-of-loyola

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, prayer is just hard. Sometimes it is due to logistical difficulties. If that is you, go back and check out the "Prayer: Practicals" and "Prayer: Troubleshooting & Tips" episodes. But sometimes, it's just hard because of stuff we are going through in our personal lives. Major financial difficulties, depression, difficult diagnoses, and more can all affect our every day state, and this can be a huge barrier to prayer. Though we may have nothing to say to God, or seemingly nothing to offer Him, God is no further away. In fact, He has the tendency to come in closer to the broken hearted, the hungry, the lowly. Whether you are feeling His presence or not, know that you are HIS and He has not forgotten you. If you are struggling to find anything to say to God, that is OK. I encourage you to (1.) find a guided prayer to lead you through. Continue to attempt daily prayer as an anchor in your life. Putting yourself in His word daily will remind you of truth and will help you remember His presence. (2.) Try to see how He is working in your life through little blessings and miracles. And (3.) remind yourself of the truth. You are His beloved. He will never forsake you. Psalm 139 can remind you that you are always His. If you know of someone in a tough state, share this episode with them! They may need some encouragement that God is still there, even if they aren't able to be fully present with Him. Prayer: Practicals - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/SpjjOLXXLGb Prayer: Troubleshooting & Tips - https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/AcYPZewLtGb

Let's talk contemplative prayer! Many saints before us have thrived with hours of contemplative prayer every day, "sitting in the room with Jesus." If vocal prayer is us talking to Jesus and meditative prayer is us focusing on Jesus, contemplative prayer is us listening to Jesus. It is not about our actions, but about God's actions and listening to what He wants to say to us. This is easier said than done, though. Our world is LOUD, BUSY, and DISTRACTING. And our brains are trained to flit from thought to thought, struggling to quiet ourselves enough to hear the still, quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. In this episode, I share some tips about how to attempt contemplative prayer, with the knowledge that in the end, it will be God's decision to speak to us. We can trust that He knows what we need to hear and when we need to hear it. Though it is hard, contemplative prayer is so worth it because: God is real and He is good He wants good things for us It is good for us to learn to be quiet and listen When we know God's voice well, we will be able to recognize it in other parts of our lives. "My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish. No one can take them out of my hand." John 10:27-28

This episode dives into MEDITATIVE prayer, which takes a little more focus, discipline, and time than vocal prayer. Meditative prayer is beautiful for growing our virtues of patience and helping us develop more intimacy with Jesus! You can meditate on all kinds of things, including: scripture, prayers, pictures, nature, or even just a word. By training our bodies to slow down and focus, we can go much deeper into a portion of the Bible or into a truth that God wants to reveal to us. Since we are physical people, don't skimp on preparing your body to meditate. Remove all distractions, get comfortable, and take some slow breaths before trying to dive into meditation. And remember that we are seeking a deep relationship with Jesus, not just the good feelings that may come from prayer. Feelings come and feelings go, and we'll talk about that more in a couple of episodes! Some resources to look into for meditation are: The Rosary Lectio Divina Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales Ignatian Audio Meditations Try to take some time this week to meditate! I recommend taking a gospel story that you know well. Read the story a few times and try to picture the elements involved. Then, after asking the Holy Spirit to help you, try to "dive into" the story. Either picturing yourself as a character or "watching" it as a movie. Take the story SLOWLY and linger on any elements that stand out to you. Afterwards, journal about anything that stood out to you or surprised you from your meditation. Some ideas are: Luke 5:1-11 - Jesus calling Peter John 11 - Jesus raising Lazarus Luke 8:43-48 - The Hemorrhaging Woman Mark 4:35-41 - Jesus calms the storm

Once we have established a solid routine of prayer, we can work on deepening our prayer so that we can grow closer to Jesus! This episode speaks on many different types of vocal prayer (any time you are speaking to God either out loud, in your heart, or written words). I encourage you to open your heart and ask the Holy Spirit to draw out one type of prayer you can work on. OR you may just choose to just start ordering your prayer according to an acronym I share about: (A)doration (C)ontrition (T)hanksgiving (S)upplication Regardless of what our prayers look like, remember that God looks at the heart. A short, simple prayer said from the depths of your soul is more meaningful than a long, eloquent prayer said without presence of mind and heart. Let us never be like the people from Matthew 15:8, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." Let us be women who say what we mean and mean what we say, especially when it comes to speaking to Jesus! Theme music written and produced by Jeffrey Azar.

When life is inconsistent, it can be really hard to find consistency in your prayer! In this episode, we’ll do some troubleshooting. I’ll share the experiences of a few different women that can help you figure out how to make the time for prayer even when life changes. I’ll also give some overall tips that might be helpful! In the next three episodes, we will focus on deepening our prayer lives and therefore our relationships with Jesus! Theme music written and produced by Jeffrey Azar.

In this episode, Jenna defines what she means by consistent, daily prayer and goes through an acronym that lists aspects of a good prayer life. Use this acronym to look at your own prayer and see if there are any ways you can improve the environment in which you pray! Next week, she’ll discuss troubleshooting, which can help you if you struggle to find the time of your day to devote to prayer, plus give some more tips from her experience and that of others. The acronym to think about before next episode is: (A)rea (D)uration (E)xclusivity (P)lan (T)ime of Day Theme music written and produced by Jeffrey Azar.

Join me for the first episode of our "Prayer" series! This series will hit on some practicals for bringing prayer into daily life as a mom and will go through different types of prayer for each of us to grow in our walks with Jesus. A daily prayer life is essential to developing a relationship with Jesus, and a relationship with Jesus is essential to living a life of peace! He wants to provide you with all that you need! Go to him regularly, and find the love, guidance, and grace that your soul longs for. This episode sets the perspective for the series by giving you some background information on me and encouraging you to look into your personal prayer life. Think about where you have been, and where you are now! Consider these three questions before we meet again for episode 2: What was prayer like when you were growing up? Can you think of someone who modeled prayer for you? Has there been a time in your life when you felt particularly connected to the Lord? Try to remember as many details about that time as possible. Where are you at now? Do you have set aside prayer time daily? Weekly? What do you do during that time? If you had a question that you wanted to ask Jesus, how would you go about finding that answer? Theme music written and produced by Jeffrey Azar.

Y’all! I’m so excited to share my lovely friend Jenna with you! You will not want to miss this episode! Here’s the survey we talk about in today’s episode - https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe-I-UMz4hz_0P74SSVddosk1-jrt6cZr1urbGWqzR-qONyEQ/viewform - we would so appreciate it if you filled it out! Jenna’s podcast starts January 2, 2024! Get excited!!! Email me at 500secondstojoy@gmail.com if you have any questions. :) XOXO Stephanie

I am BACK and I’m excited to not only share about how life has been lately and what’s next on the podcast, but to also introduce you to my special guest today. My sweet mom, Jennifer Fisch Lemp, is on the podcast today to share about her new book! It’s called Resting on a Pillow of Prayers: Poems of Loss, Hope and Healing. I am SO excited for you to learn from her. She’s going to share about how God drew her closer to Himself through a very aggressive and rare cancer diagnosis. God only wants our good and His ways are mysterious. My mom is such an example of trust in God no matter what. I hope you leave encouraged and uplifted to pursue God and let Him pursue you always! No matter what, God is FOR you. To grab my mom’s book, click here👉 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/resting-on-a-pillow-of-prayers-poems-of-loss-hope-and-healing-jennifer-fisch-lemp/1144158866?ean=9798888516805 OR HERE👉 https://www.amazon.com/Resting-Pillow-Prayers-Poems-Healing/dp/B0CK9NHKCV/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=32N9MF8HDZ3C8&keywords=resting+on+a+pillow+of+prayers&qid=1697667514&sprefix=resting+on+a+pillow+of+prayers%2Caps%2C121&sr=8-1 ☺️ Email me with any questions! 500secondstojoy@gmail.com XOXO Stephanie