The Better Questions

"We have our most profound healing relationally and we are most profoundly triggered relationally — trauma both needs to be spoken and feels impossible to speak." Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald is a trauma researcher and author of Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong, which you can preorder now. After spending over a decade researching and lecturing on grief and resilience, MC now helps her coaching clients alchemize their trauma responses into new tools of strength.  We examine questions like: - What is the actual definition of trauma?  - Where do trauma responses show up in our daily interactions?  - How does trauma get stored and backed up in the body? What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions and @mc.phd to share your thoughts! To receive all the behind-the-scenes thoughts and questions from this episode, sign up for my newsletter at TheBetterQuestions.com. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Every book you see on the shelf is the product of a writer saying, 'That's good enough.'" Without any formal training, Marguerite Imbert became a chef, a writer for The Michelin Guide and author of the Amazon bestseller, Not A Cookbook. She teaches recurring writing workshops that focus on therapeutic writing and how to become your own project manager. Together we answer listener questions about overcoming psychological roadblocks involved in creating and sharing your work, including: - What does a creative life look like as a sober individual? - How can you overcome insecurities about not being qualified enough? - When should you keep your work private versus making it public?  - How should you interact with the criticism others have about your work and life choices? Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately. What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions or @margueritevimbert and share your thoughts! This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"What we typically think of as thoughts are actually answers to the questions we ask ourselves.”  Dr. Marilee Adams is the author of "Change Your Questions, Change Your Life" and founder of the Inquiry Institute, which teaches participants how to create the futures they want using resources like the Choice Map. What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions and share your thoughts! This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Making a decision can be way more important than the result of the decision." Benjamin Russack is a marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and host of the podcast "Look, Just Tell Me What To Do." We begin with an honest examination of what it's actually like to be a therapist, then shift into discussing listener questions, including: - How can I make decisions without regretting them later? - What does it mean to be secure person? - Is manifestation actually possible? Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately. What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions or @benjaminrussack and share your thoughts! This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Where is your life on auto-pilot? A lot of times auto-pilot is protecting us from looking at the things we need to change." Jess Janz is a writer and artist who calls herself a gatherer of words and questions. In Part Two of our conversation, we look at why naming what you want can feel uncomfortable, how to stop intellectualizing feelings, and how to overcome a resistance to change. Make sure you don't miss Part One of my conversation with Jess (How To Become A Full-Time Creative) by skipping back one episode. What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions or @jessjanz and share your thoughts! Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"The times that I feel not creative are usually because I am away from myself, or because I'm avoiding speaking or admitting the truth to myself." Jess Janz is a writer and artist who calls herself a gatherer of words and questions. In Part One of our conversation, we examine the intersection between creativity and finances, and how monetizing your art can help or hurt your creativity. We also discuss when to share what you've created publicly (versus keep it to yourself), the difference between sharing with strangers versus people you know, and how to cultivate an environment that promotes a daily creative practice.  Make sure you don't miss Part Two of my conversation with Jess (How To Stop Resisting Change) by skipping ahead one episode. What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions or @jessjanz and share your thoughts! Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Ambivalence is more dangerous and worse for your health and relationships than toxicity. The research is very clear on this — it takes so much more energy to be in ambivalent relationships." Vanessa Van Edwards is the author of the bestselling book Captivate, which has been translated into 17 languages and examines how people tick by decoding their body language and behavior patterns. Her new book Cues studies what makes a person charismatic. Vanessa is also the founder of Science of People, a human behavior research lab that studies the way people operate. The findings from her research are published on the lab’s YouTube channel, which has received over 50 million views. We discuss: The number one question you should ask to gauge the health of your relationships Vanessa's personal cure for people-pleasing How to improve your voice and delivery skills What question never to ask when sending emails What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions or @vvanedwards and share your thoughts! Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Ideas themselves are an act of artistic expression — you don't have to follow through on all of them."  Laura Maya is the author of Tell Them My Name, a travel memoir that questions the stressors of "normal" life by viewing different cultures through new eyes. A self-described "multipotentialite," Laura has rejected the idea that you need one passion or purpose to define you, and has instead built a life by combining multiple careers, countries, cultures and creative pursuits.  In today's episode, we discuss:  Why Laura has gotten married 42 times What traveling reveals about your relationship The stark realities of a nomadic lifestyle Practical tips for applying daily minimalism How to write your first book (the right way and the wrong way) Why money is connected to your past, present and future self What stood out to you in this episode? Tag @thebetterquestions and share your thoughts, or email ask@thebetterquestions.com — I'd love to hear from you! Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here for an answer you can apply immediately.  This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Look around: all of your clutter used to be money; all of your money used to be time." Money is one of those topics (like health) that affects each of us, whether or not we're interested. However, it can be a particularly loaded topic due to all the emotions attached to our financial stories, so uncovering our ingrained beliefs around money can be both enlightening and overwhelming: “I can either do what I love, or make money.” “I have to work really hard to make money.” “Money is the root of all evil.” “I have no control over whether I become wealthy.” “Money doesn't buy happiness.” Do any of these beliefs resonate?  On today's episode, we examine the most common psychological patterns around money with guest Paula Pant, creator of the podcast Afford Anything, which has received over 20 million downloads and is one of Apple’s top business podcasts. She is a sought-out expert in the financial independence space, or the FIRE community, an acronym that stands for Financial Independence Retire Early. By the age of 34, Paula reached financial independence by owning eight investment properties. Her story is incredible regardless, but even more so because of her background — Paula was raised in an immigrant family, where she was given traditional financial advice that often focused on extreme frugality. We discuss: How to determine what matters most to you How to make peace with your decisions What it means to become financially independent Why consumerism and a scarcity mindset are inextricably linked How frugality can be linked to a lack of confidence The benefits of tracking your expenses I’m particularly excited about today's conversation because for the past several years, my business has helped employees and freelancers organize their finances and reexamine their relationship with money. Book your free call here and never worry about money again. I'd absolutely love to hear what stuck out to you in this episode — share your favorite takeaways or questions by tagging @thebetterquestions and @paulapant! Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here, or on Instagram — I'll always send you a message when your question is featured. If you find these episodes valuable, leave a review on Apple or Spotify — this helps more people discover the show! Would you like all the best quotes from each episode, plus a few extra? Sign up at TheBetterQuestions.com to receive the monthly curation. You can also respond directly to these emails any time, I'd love to get to know you better!

I like to think of this podcast as a place for critical thinkers and deep feelers — Jackie Endres is the definition of both. In today's episode, Jackie joins me in the studio to examine an array of questions submitted by listeners, including: How much does your nature/nurture experience limit your capacity to change? (3:12 min) How can I stop caring about what other people think? (16:12 min) Should you stay in a relationship after infidelity has occurred? (26:03 min) How can I stop second-guessing myself? (35:18 min) What is more effective: prevention or cure? (42:24 min)   Do you have a question you'd like to hear discussed on the show? Submit yours here, or on Instagram — I'll send you a message when your question is featured.  If you’re enjoying these conversations, leave a review and share this episode with someone who you think would enjoy listening! To receive all the best quotes from each episode, sign up for a monthly email at TheBetterQuestions.com. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"It's okay to withhold trust and make it be something earned; it's also beautiful to give somebody a ton of trust from the start and let them have something that they can lose."   —   Sam Lamott is the host of the How To Human podcast (which has reached over a million listeners) where today he interviews guests like Brené Brown on how to acquire the psychological skills needed to be a functioning, thriving adult. Sam also co-wrote the New York Times bestseller, "Some Assembly Required" with his mother, author Anne Lamott.   Part Two of this conversation is all about relationships, specifically romantic. Sam outlines how to set a boundary with anyone, and how freedom and sacrifice show up in both healthy and toxic relationships. If you haven't listened to Part One yet, skip back one episode to hear the whole thing, or listen here.    Resources: Sam's Podcast | Sam's Book | Sam's Instagram | Sam's Patreon   If you’re enjoying these conversations, leave a review and share this episode with someone who you think would enjoy listening!   As always, you can submit your own questions, topic ideas, or feedback here, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions.     This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"I have this critic inside that is so abusive... but what's its motivation? It doesn't want me to get attacked from the outside so it's willing to attack me from the inside. That's when it's time to invite the critic to the table and say, 'I know you want me to make great work, but you can't speak to me that way — you're in my house.'" Sam Lamott describes himself as a “single dad, college drop-out, ex-meth head who came out of a ten-year bender at the age of 22 with severe clinical depression, a two-year-old, and zero life skills.”  So he started the How To Human podcast where today he interviews guests like Brené Brown on how to acquire the psychological skills needed to be a functioning adult. Sam is also the co-author of the New York Times bestseller, "Some Assembly Required," which he co-wrote with his mother, author Anne Lamott. Sam and I ended up talking for over an hour, so we split the conversation up into two episodes.  In this episode (Part One), Sam and I talk about how your inner critic is actually trying to protect you, how physical symptoms can indicate unresolved internal conflict, and why the "starving artist" mentality can be so detrimental when it comes to your relationship with money.  Sam's Podcast | Sam's Instagram | Sam's Book | Sam's Patreon If you’re enjoying these conversations, please leave a review and share this episode with someone who you think would enjoy listening!   To receive all the quotes and questions from each new episodes, sign up at the TheBetterQuestions.com.   This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Learn how to enjoy your own company. Then when you meet other people, you'll come from this rich, deep place of having already experienced the beauty of your own friendship because you gave it to yourself first." Kat Vellos is the author of “We Should Get Together: The Secret To Cultivating Better Friendships.” Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Forbes and TEDx. Kat's book was born from six years of in-depth research about how friendships change in adulthood and how they’ve changed over the past few decades, especially with the arrival of social media.  In this episode, we discuss what chemistry looks like between friends, why the word awkward is overused, and how to nurture a friendship with yourself. For all the latest questions and quotes, visit TheBetterQuestions.com, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions. If you enjoy this conversation, hit the 5 stars, leave a review, or send this episode to a friend! This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"Everything we do or don’t do can be explained by whether it serves our self-image. We spend most of our energy promoting the image we want to project, maintaining the image we’ve already built, or hiding the image we don’t want others to see."   Dr. Kyra Bobinet is an expert in behavior change and design thinking. After earning her Masters at Harvard and her medical degree at UCSF, Kyra kept hearing the same question from her patients: “If I know what I need to do, why am I not doing it?” She made it her life's mission to answer this question, exploring what she calls, “the unknown terrain that separates our intentions from our actions."   We talk about how our self-image shapes every part of our behavior, what it feels like to live with unconscious stress, why our institutions are setting us up to fail, and much more.    If there's a habit you're looking to stop, change or create, I highly recommend Kyra's book, Well Designed Life. Kyra is also the founder of FreshTri, a behavior change app that does not rely on goals or tracking, but instead focuses on iteration.   If you’re enjoying these conversations, tap the 5 stars, or share this episode with a friend — that’s how the show will continue to grow!   As always, you can send your own questions, topic ideas, or feedback to TheBetterQuestions.com, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions.   This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

Dr. Bina Patel is an expert in conflict resolution. She conducts leadership training for the U.S. Army, the Department of Defense, and corporations worldwide. We talk about how to spot toxic leadership in the workplace, why some people will never change their mind, and how to ask questions that connect rather than divide. If you’re enjoying these conversations, tap the 5 Stars, or share this episode with someone who you think would enjoy listening. That’s how the show will continue to grow! As always, you can submit your own questions, topic ideas or guest recommendations at TheBetterQuestions.com, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions.  This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

“So often, we design our lives unintentionally, or by default. Since our future self is still a stranger to us, still a theoretical self, the design process acts as the bridge between the action you take today and the future you want.”    Tracy DeLuca is the founder of How Might We Design, a consultancy that helps companies and individuals design their dream businesses and ideal lives. She has taught at Stanford’s Institute of Design, Pixar, FitBit and TED.   We talk about how to take back control of your days (especially in the midst of a pandemic), how curiosity can be used to observe yourself objectively, and how Netflix binging and mindless scrolling can actually be beneficial.   If you’re enjoying these conversations, tap the 5 Stars, or share this episode with someone who you think would enjoy listening. That’s how the show will continue to grow!   For all the latest questions and quotes, visit TheBetterQuestions.com, or follow on Instagram @thebetterquestions.   This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

"We become our most powerful when we combine our passions and skills, allow them to commingle and play with each other. Because I think we're so fractured... when we blend our different strengths into a life statement for ourselves, we become more whole." After earning her Ph.D in Cognitive Psychology at Princeton and being voted "Most Inspirational Professor" while teaching cognition and creativity, Dr. Michelle Chappel left it all to pursue a career in music. She was called crazy by everyone around her, but she went on to win 17 Billboard awards with her songs topping international radio charts and appeared in shows on ABC, HBO, Encore and Showtime. Today she works with clients like Google, Ebay and Yahoo to help other professionals find their unique intersections of gifts.  By the end of this episode you will know:  - What "slash careers" are and whether or not they're a good idea - How aging is involved in the creative process and how it can affect whether or not you go after what you want in life - The 3 places in life where we tend to lose track of our gifts If you're enjoying these episodes, please leave a review or hit the 5-star button. With your help, the show will continue to grow! Have a question for the show? Submit yours at TheBetterQuestions.com or on Instagram @thebetterquestions. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

“I’m not crippled by being wrong... I’m only right 4 out of 10 times, but that’s more than enough to be successful."   Gary Vaynerchuk is a 5-time New York Times bestselling author and one of the earliest investors in companies including Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Venmo and Uber.    Gary immigrated to the US in 1978 and grew up in a studio apartment in Queens with his eight family members. After graduating college, Gary took over his father’s liquor store in 1998 and grew the business from $3 million/year to $60 million/year in just 5 years. Today he inspires millions with his books, videos and podcast.   By the end of this quick episode, you will know:   - How to better discern between a distraction and an opportunity   - How to balance your input (consumption) and your output (creation)   - The true sources behind lasting motivation   - How to cultivate the life-changing skill of paying attention   Resources:   GaryVaynerchuk.com   Why a chip on your shoulder is the greatest motivation   5 Traits All Successful Entrepreneurs Have If you’d have feedback about this episode or would like to submit your own question for the show, email Ask@TheBetterQuestions.com If you’re enjoying these episodes, please leave a review, or share a link with someone who you think would enjoy listening. That’s how the show will continue to grow! As always, you are welcome to submit your own questions at TheBetterQuestions.com, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions. This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.  

“When you realize you’re no longer doing things to achieve something else later, then this question suddenly looks at you very aggressively: “This is your life, why is this your life?"   Chuck Klosterman is a best-selling author and journalist whose work focuses on popular culture in America. For years he wrote “The Ethicist” column for the New York Times Magazine and has also written for GQ, Esquire, The Guardian, The Washington Post and many more.   We talk about how to share your opinions and ideas without diluting your message (especially in our technological climate where it’s so easy to misconstrue meaning or take offense), how to tell whether or not someone is being authentic or wearing a mask when you first meet them, and if it’s better to become successful earlier or later in life. Chuck is the author of several books, including “But What If We’re Wrong? Thinking About the Present As If It Were the Past.”    Here’s an excerpt: “We must start from the premise that—in all likelihood—we are already wrong. And not “wrong” in the sense that we are examining questions and coming to incorrect conclusions, because most of our conclusions are reasoned and coherent. The problem is with the questions themselves.”   Visit Chuck’s Website, watch him on The Daily Show, or connect with him on Twitter. As always, you are welcome to submit your own questions at TheBetterQuestions.com, or on Instagram @thebetterquestions.   This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.

“We operate with a lot of irrational beliefs... Our feelings don’t come from the things that happen, they come from the beliefs about the things that happen." Dr. Sharon Eve is a psychologist who has worked with individuals and couples for the past 40 years. Her work focuses on integrating your past experience into your present life, identifying patterns in our thinking and underlying structures in our emotional responses. Dr. Eve’s acclaimed workshops have helped hundreds of participants master topics like “Developing listening skills”, “Overcoming Depression” and “Deepening Communication.”     This episode is a little different. I start with a few questions of my own, but then for the first time ever, Dr. Eve will answer questions that listeners of this show have submitted over the past couple of months. Some of these questions include:    How can I feel comfortable interacting with anyone, anywhere, anytime?   How do I know if my partner is cheating?   Is everyone second-guessing themselves as much as I am?   By the end of the episode, you will know: 1) Why depression is Dr. Eve’s favorite topic to discuss   2) How to deeply communicate with your significant other (and anyone in your life)   3) How to use “shame-attacking” exercises to overcome your fears   4) How to determine if you're a "guest" or a "host" in your own life   5) How much to reveal about yourself when you first meet someone   This podcast is sponsored by CreativeMoneyCoaching.com. Book your free call here and never worry about money again.