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The Bitch Bible

Author: Dear Media, Jackie Schimmel

Subscribed: 13,932Played: 274,892
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A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits.

Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
284 Episodes
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Jackie becomes unglued while watching red carpet coverage, teaches you how to make a roast chicken and slaps an innocent samaritan at a local strip mall.
Call Me Brenda.

Call Me Brenda.

2021-02-2347:122

Jackie has awkward run in with new neighbor who thinks her name is Brenda, tries to summon Lucifer to haunt her future home and pays homage to Heather Gay, side parts and white dudes with tequila brands.
Bitching in Hell

Bitching in Hell

2021-02-1601:00:492

Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell.
6 FUCKING YEARS.

6 FUCKING YEARS.

2021-02-0901:02:562

Jackie reminisces on her 6 year anniversary of the podcast and tells the fucked up slash dark "fairytale" of how it all began.   
Excusez Moi!

Excusez Moi!

2021-02-0250:203

Jackie talks about bringing Grandma Gloria to "Paris" and how she nearly died over steak frites, why Andrew and her almost divorced and what to do when you catch your significant other watching porn!
Jackie chats with best friend Max about the evolution of the bitch, breaks down ZERO celebrity gossip (boring) and talks about her disdain for sports.  
Edible Derangement

Edible Derangement

2021-01-1952:331

Jackie confesses to some morally and legally flexible activity, endures a pregnancy scare, gives her top AmaZon PiCks and why Alec and Hilaria need to send Armie a gift ASAP.
Tan and Grainy

Tan and Grainy

2021-01-1441:231

Jackie discusses her alter ego "Jacquie", why Armie Hammer should get a job at Benihana and how to stat the new year on a shamanic diet.
Woof Woof Bitch

Woof Woof Bitch

2021-01-0549:462

Jackie deals with Andrew's infidelity, recaps her first meltdown of 2021, preaches new communication skills and pays homage to all the hard passes and fat yups of the past year.
Holidazed and Confused

Holidazed and Confused

2020-12-2948:481

Jackie chats with best friend Max, explores new wellness trends, recaps her new popstar success and debriefs on all things Real Housewives.
Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places.
Jackie gives updates on her Coronavirus quarantine life, what to do when you make eye contact with a stranger whilst going to the bathroom, Real Housewives updates and her new hit single "BITCH" dropping 12/18/20.
Jackie goes off the rails as Covid 19 has infiltrated her home and she questions everything she thought she knew about embellished bodysuits, prosthetic arms and her bowel movements.   Produced By Dear Media
Teflon Tits

Teflon Tits

2020-12-0142:182

Jackie recaps her Thanksgiving, her impending pop star career, why she is blacklisted from her local Trader Joe's and offers some words of optimism courtesy of Helen Keller.   Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible  Discount Code: BBPOD15 for 15% off your first order
GrATeFuL

GrATeFuL

2020-11-2452:062

Jackie recaps her time at "rehab', shopping addiction, pretty girl privelege (barf), having sex with ghosts and why adult gift exchanges give her hives. Happy Thanksgiving! Checkout exclusive Bitch Bible Merch Below! URL: Shop.dearmedia.com/bitchbible  Discount Code: BBPOD15 for 15% off your first order  
Gratitude Adjustment

Gratitude Adjustment

2020-11-1748:171

Jackie grapples with the customs of Thanksgiving, shares tips and tricks for holiday time psychological warfare and why pre-sliced cheese triggers her.
Jackie talks about the election, her high school catfish experience, a brief Covid scare, why you should never call yourself a "bookworm" and how to handle a peeping Tom. Produced By Dear Media
Jackie pays homage to Sean Connery, talks home decor, braces herself for pregnancy and preaches a "pillar" lifestyle.  
RIP BITCH.

RIP BITCH.

2020-10-2758:371

Jackie discusses her funeral arrangements, the fraudulence of manifesting. Emrata and why she can't wait to go to a Benihana.    Produced By Dear Media
Bottom of the Barrel

Bottom of the Barrel

2020-10-2039:072

Jackie discusses her burgeoning music career, neighborly updates, why cranberries trigger her and why she won't be asked to wear matching outfits with Kourtney Kardashian and Addison Rae.
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Comments (22)

Kim Brennan

Jeff Lewis was talking about a friend that was pregnant, obviously not her 😆

Nov 18th
Reply

Samantha Palacios

these bitches have never done drugs 🤦‍♀️ so uneducated about pot it's just embarrassing stop while you're ahead. those bitches went crazy because of coke both of them had coke problems when they went psycho. smoking weed doesn't even compare to pain killers clearly you bitches are light weights if you freak out over a quarter of a pill? lol WOW

Oct 27th
Reply

Liliana Trevino

I can't count how many times I dream of my husband cheating..

Oct 22nd
Reply

Samantha Palacios

love the podcast just started listening recently after getting bored with music during my long af 12 hour shifts! first heard you on call her daddy with our founding single glorious father Alex Cooper and I gotta say I am obsessed with your show! you're keeping me awake at work girl and that's a tough job to do!

Sep 30th
Reply

Alisha T

Jackie. I find you to be absolutely hysterical. I love your show. You put me into the best mood and make me feel like a more badass version of my self. Thanks for being real and making my days much more entertaining.

Jun 15th
Reply

Jessica Olson

how can there be no comments on BIG DICK ENERGY??!!??!!??

Mar 1st
Reply

Liz Gallardo

Gtfoh!!! Noo! Girl! Why?!? Really? I liked your podcast cast because you were real! You pull that Christmas Music is rapey bullshit. I can’t!

Dec 6th
Reply

Melissa Galvan Chavez

just started listening to podcasts and I really love yours lol you say things I wish I could

Nov 23rd
Reply

Kari Momchilovich

come to Minnesota!

Nov 19th
Reply (1)

Shari Urbancic

Agree with Sue. I didn't get any kind of condescending attitude from Nick at all. Plus, nothing Jackie said regarding her feeling that she is "masculine" made zero sense and I'm glad Nick called her out on it.

Sep 20th
Reply

Sue w

Hi Jackie I don't know where your getting the feeling the Nick was making you feel stupid in any way.... I don't hear that at all in this podcast... Glad you went on his and that things are better

Sep 19th
Reply

Walter Carter

Eat my warm bagel.

Aug 9th
Reply

Teagan Dayton

love it!!

Mar 21st
Reply

CristiBdoin

I started through watch what crappens, then Annibelle heard you on Stassi and Annibelle a long time ago. after hearing you on their podcast I had to find and follow you..i get so excited when I see my notification for you. xoxo don't ever stop you make me feel normal. i hate people and babies ugh. and my husband does everything for me too. ivr cooked maybe 2x in 7 yrs :) you are my friend in my head. like Wendy says "How you doin"

Mar 6th
Reply

Krista Mundt Goodrich

Yes!!! Khole you are the common denominator!!

Feb 26th
Reply

Korey Smith

Two things I love in this world. Pro wrestling and The Bitch Bible

Oct 13th
Reply

Rachel Dawn David

I love your podcast! it is so funny and it helps me get through work!

Jul 18th
Reply

CristiBdoin

You and Teddi have great convo chemistry!

Jun 22nd
Reply

Sarah Jane

She literally puts me in the most motivated best mood. Love her!

Jan 4th
Reply

Jimmy Hilley

I love this woman

Dec 10th
Reply
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