The Burger King Ranch

A podcast about family, life, sports, Texas and whatever tickles our fancy on the ranch. Three dads join in friendly banter about our lives, current events and all the craziness that parenthood brings.

Episode 81: Grown Man's Sports Aggression

The boys are riverside at the ranch today! As the last days of summer sizzle, one ranch hand is eager to herd their young buck back to class. Tune in as they chat about back-to-school swag, creative ways to avoid punishment, and the resurgence of high socks. And hey, do adult athletes really ever learn to channel their aggression properly? So, grab a scrapple sandwich, turn up the volume – Episode 81 is live!

08-11
34:03

Episode 80: Tales from Mississippi

After the better part of two weeks on the road, we’re back on the ranch. The trio returns with a detailed summary of their time in Mississippi.From a group of Texas ballers fighting for championships to someone's readiness for violence, all we can say is it’s good to be back. Crank up the volume and bring in the weekend with us.

07-14
34:12

Episode 79: The Road to Mississippi

The boys are getting ready to hit the trail to Mississippi! They give you the details on their upcoming road trip, plus take jabs at states that can't handle the everyday heat of Texas. Crocs are still a thing, and there are different ways to wear them. And, Kyle is infuriated by modern marketing and contemporary buzzwords, but it's all in good fun. Press play and enjoy your daily commute, this episode is the one for it!

07-10
35:10

Episode 78: Tajin is too Spicy for Kyle

The boys are back on the ranch, and Devo is becoming a regular. The laughs were belly-aching in tonight's episode. Kyle is still on a local softball kick and trying to redeem his driving skills. Plus, the three go over bowling practices—not how to bowl, but how they're reserving lanes. And, we get everyone's take on a South Texas classic turned TikTok trend: Tajín. Cut open a watermelon and crack a cold beer, this one goes by quickly.

06-30
39:50

Episode 77: Grindin' like Tony Hawk!

We’ve got much more than a duo on the ranch today! The boys welcome two guests on the show for one of the most hilariously insightful episodes yet. We’re going to revisit Kyle’s driving skills (or lack thereof), plus the comfort of shoes for adult men, and some softball enthusiasts were a little star-struck at a recent game. So pull out your J's, however you interpret it, and pour a cold one! It’s time for episode 77.

06-16
34:57

Episode 76: UBER into the 90s

The boys are back on the ranch and it looks like a newcomer is intercepting a spare mic. We’ve got a trio of conversations in this episode, ranch hands! The crew discusses why only some people can back out of a driveway, they look within for their UBER driver persona and we also find out it’s never too late to start stomping in your Air Force Ones. Plus, the crew gets all in their feelings with 90s music playlists. Saddle up and crank the volume, we’ve got some stories to tell!

06-12
37:22

Episode 75: Crackin' Sheetrock and Crushin' Monsters

Summer vacation is here and the ranch is getting rowdy! The boys talk about how tedious end-of-year grad parties for anything other than high school/college can be, how their city has contributed to Texas being the home of the country’s worst drivers and how Kyle made it into Kyle! So go ahead and take a load off and spend some time with the boys at The Burger King Ranch!

05-26
38:24

Episode 74: Baseball over Peaches

It’s a loud night on the ranch! Apparently, speaker wars are still a thing and the boys explain why. The two also discuss why Smokey and the Bandit is better than Dukes of Hazzard (it doesn’t involve the story) and a young gun experiences his first break-up! This one will make your ribs hurt, now let’s get Kyle in Kyle… it will make sense later.

05-19
37:31

Episode 73: Tapioca and Legacy

We're back on the ranch and the boys are fearlessly diving into the world of celebrity fatherhood, questioning the decisions of our "mature" stars. The two also reminisce on malt liquors from the days of old, being sucked into nostalgia and they're taking on the concept of the "lawnmower parent" and what it truly means. So grab yourself a refreshing hard seltzer, turn up the volume and get ready for an unfiltered and captivating episode!

05-12
34:54

Episode 72: Back in the Saddle Again

Ross and Kyle are back on the ranch after a year on the trail. They'll catch you up on what's been happening, but that's not all they have in store. There's a new Latin wave, Jack Black is making a comeback on the charts and some coaches get heated! Learn how Kyle earned a nickname that'll only inflate his ego even more. The podcast is back and better than ever, listen now!

05-05
37:24

Episode 71: Those Kinds of Roads

Life can't keep us away from the ranch. Ross and Kyle post up, beers in hand, and discuss some off-the-wall things this week. Football is once again a topic, there's such a thing as South East Texas, Cajun food is NOT classy and the two recount their experiences on the lamest drives through our great state. Grab a cold one and join us under the old mesquite, the shade feels nice. Even in a beefy-tee.

04-29
31:30

Episode 70: Vanilla Juice

Spring is here and the armadillos are already kicking our ass. Ross and Kyle are back on the ranch after hitting the road and living life. From Smoky Mountain bears to burglar kits and Vanilla Juice (WTF?), find out what it all means in episode 70.

04-06
32:14

Episode 69: Back on the Ranch

Ross and Kyle are back on the ranch! After some time off, the boys discuss Texas’ second endless winter in a row, pointless show reboots and the legacy of 1986’s Three Amigos! Grab a cold one and gather ‘round the fire, we got some catching up to do with y’all.

02-25
34:08

Episode 68: 'Tis the Season for Smoked Bird

Despite the seasonal decor being up at the ranch, the only thing in full swing is baseball. Ross and Kyle aren’t quite yet to welcome winter’s cheer but they’re ready to cook some birds. The two go over their kids’ most recent baseball tournament, Kyle’s sinful experiences, and why megaphones aren’t necessary. Unplug that tree and put the Diva of Christmas back in the freezer, it’s still Thanksgiving on the ranch.

11-12
34:50

Episode 67: You’re Gonna Need a Bigger Fridge

Blood was spilled on the ranch this week! The struggles of a Texan are laid out as Ross shares his most recent hunting experience… all 975 pounds of it. We learn sexy-time is hard when your kid is a budding burglar, Kyle opens up about showering separately and Brian shares the struggles of removing drain monsters. Don’t know what that is? Neither did we. Be sure to crack open a beer before you click that play button, see you by the fire.

10-28
35:16

Episode 66: The Charro Bean Influencing Team

Sprits are high on the ranch. The boys talk about influencing tactics, Dak dominating in Dallas and Kyle accidentally reveals why he secretly loves Halloween. Keep your ears peeled for that. Enjoy Ranch Hands! #BKR

10-21
35:19

Episode 65: Chanclas and Beer

The BKR boys are back in the studio talking about Kyle's timestamped past, dad dinners made with "love", ball game chants, and flag football injuries... all while the boys contemplate taking up archery.

10-14
34:13

Episode 64: Did we just create a new word?!

The guys are back in the studio talking about weeknight dinner plans that always end at Whataburger, the Mermaid capital of Texas, and reminisce about the Little Mermaid all while Kyle selects a fancy whiskey decanter set.

10-07
33:56

Episode 63: Texas Bullseye or bust

The BKR boys are back in the studio talking about a mile-high tailgate, a haunted house adventure in Virginia, a slow start to dove season, and the importance of a sharpened shovel... all while Kyle looks up scooter coupons.

09-27
31:53

Episode 62: You're the burger?!

The BKR boys are back in the studio talking about the return of dove season, the benefits of owning a t-shirt cannon, revisit some clutch baseball plays, and make a brief mention of the Dallas Cowboys... all while Kyle contemplates rocky mountain gummies.

09-10
31:14

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