The Captain's Log

Episode 309. Is Louvre Detective going to be Teen Columbo's best friend or greatest enemy? What do you have to do to get a key to your city? Would you vote for a peanut over a human man? Could movie theaters drum up attendance by playing their movies in new weird colors? If you could schedule all of a year's sneezing into one day, would you? We also discuss night beef, big dumb action blockbusters like The Running Man and the Now You See Me franchise, the Miss Piggy movie, and Vegas, baby!!!!Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Kyle's got a Karting helmet (05:30) - The Proclamation (08:29) - Keys to the city (12:11) - SLIFF (16:47) - The Cinema Corner (28:01) - Teen Columbo is real (34:34) - Housekeeping (43:28) - Maybe Melissa will like The Game Awards (46:28) - Could we teach a class on podcasting? (49:20) - Pop culture lightning round (54:50) - The F1 corner (59:55) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 308. We didn't intend this to be an episode where we make up movie pitches, but here we are. Kyle has an idea for the romantic comedy of the year starring heartthrob Wallace Shawn. Melissa has a Hollywood meta-thriller about an actor acting as his own dad. We talk about both Ripley's Believe It Or Not and the Talented Mr. Ripley, the biggest paintings we've ever seen, the end of Bugonia, the difference between miniseries and limited series, the difference between beach goth and coastal goth aesthetics, and asking strangers for their favorite Mark Ruffalo movie when you run out of normal small talk.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - BREAKING: Kyle is a weirdo (01:48) - The biggest paintings (11:48) - The MUNY garage sale (20:12) - Where would your life have diverged? (25:47) - The Cinema Corner (01:04:49) - Housekeeping (01:09:28) - Could we teach a class on podcasting? (01:22:54) - Pop culture lightning round (01:38:58) - The F1 corner (01:49:47) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 307. Your ghost hosts A Warlock and Bob Chili from Chili's are here to turn past anecdotes into "scary" "stories." Drink your exclusive Mtn Dew: Void Suck flavor, and listen to tales of: TV characters asking for your help, genetic crossbreeding experiments to make new sports mascots, a post-apocalyptic world where the only apocalypse is that everyone who knows how to make Taco Bell went to live underground, goo city, a Kitchenaid dough hook for a hand, winning Terrible Immense Power in a raffle basket, aliens who don't understand Uranus jokes, and some real pitches for M&Ms: The Movie.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Welcome and banter (02:58) - How our Halloween tradition works (05:31) - Let the scary stories begin! (01:12:28) - A little bit of housekeeping (01:14:06) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 306. What real pieces of media are so strange and obscure that when you try to describe them, it sounds like an internet urban legend that you've just made up? We bring you endless circles, a scarecrow vigilante, little mouth guys, a robot in a mountain, and offbrand edutainment CD-Roms. We also read the notes written in Kyle's old high school copy of The Great Gatsby, learn about St. Louis wedding pastas, discover the pops, and argue about the proper division of items in fundraiser raffle baskets.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Real media that sounds like a creepypasta (00:30) - Circles (12:04) - The Scarecrow (21:38) - Mr. Boogedy and The Langoliers (26:29) - Gatsby is lonely (41:29) - The top secret CD (46:10) - Mort the Chicken (51:35) - Turn A. G Saviour. (01:01:55) - Cinema corner (01:10:41) - Dark Melissa returns (01:30:04) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 305. New discoveries: putting stickers on a horse, an abnormal spike in Mimi per capita, and the secret of Taco Bell Shelter. Halloween is here with candy apples, baking competitions, new horror movies Him and The Long Walk, and the Korean drama Light Shop starting as a horror and then completely dropping that genre as the show goes on. We also discuss Movie Fantasy League strategy, the Emmys, the Game Awards, and how F1 races are either exactly what you expect them to be or wildly surprising.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - How do you know when it's Halloween season? (01:12) - Cinema corner part 1 (10:27) - Him (16:18) - Cinema Corner part 2 (23:04) - Movie Fantasy League is back (28:05) - Grandma names (35:40) - Horse stickers (43:36) - Taco Bell Pavillion (50:31) - Housekeeping (56:55) - Melissa won (59:26) - Pop culture lightning round (01:12:15) - More pop culture (01:17:07) - Formula 1 corner (01:26:50) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 304. Friend of the show Jacquelyn returns for a fantasy draft of directors and their favorite actors to work with. A real film nerd's feast! Topics include: pairings so familiar they feel cozy like an old sweater, music videos, monster makeup, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, affable devils, chicken wing preferences, and Kyle MacLachlan making a fanvid edit of his and David Lynch's friendship.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Welcome and banter (10:31) - How does the draft work? (14:39) - Let the draft begin! (52:50) - The final teams from our Director/Actor pairs (54:16) - The ones that didn't get drafted (01:00:51) - Bonus questions (01:10:32) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 303. What did we learn this week? Kyle is too out of shape to walk 2 miles to the movie theater to see Honey Don't!, Dark Melissa comes out at fundraiser trivia nights, and there are hundreds of obscure and defunct M&Ms characters. We also discuss the animated series Pantheon, Buster Keaton gags still hitting, the possibility of Nicolas Cage as a True Detective, if you need to apologize if you call something "nightmare fuel" but then it never actually gives you a nightmare, and still feeling pain over the lack of a third season to finish off Mindhunter.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Kyle's out of shape (12:31) - Drive To Survive makes you walk faster (15:18) - Every M&M's character? (25:53) - The cinema corner (48:04) - Housekeeping (52:28) - Media that sounds like creepypasta (54:54) - Pop culture lightning round (01:09:36) - Dark Melissa strikes at local trivia night (01:22:43) - Writing good trivia questions (01:32:39) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 302. Did you know you can't have an open comic book in your car in Norman, OK? Or that you must be fully clothed to be rescued by a firefighter in St. Louis? We go through weird local laws, then dive into the animated anthologies Eyes of Wakanda and Predator: Killer of Killers, new shocking horror movies Together and Weapons, and Melissa's tour of "a man has a dumb idea" movies The Hudsucker Proxy, The Swimmer, and Synecdoche, New York. We also discuss a fanny pack full of massage oil, new Spider-Man suits, racecar driver fight clubs, and the feel-good trailer for Rental Family.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Weird laws (11:41) - Melissa got a massage (17:18) - The Cinema Corner (25:57) - Housekeeping (31:38) - The cinema corner continued (56:15) - Pop culture lightnight round (01:11:54) - The F1 corner (01:16:17) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 301. We've surpassed 1000 podcast episodes AND it's the 70th birthday of some unknown man named Luigi. Lots to celebrate! We enter our "burrito era" by bundling more of our podcast content together in a single episode, and dig into season four of The Bear and Fantastic Four: First Steps. Kyle praises the cinematography of Ripley and This Is Not a Burial, It's a Resurrection, Melissa tries to explain what genre Eddington is, and we compare what trailers we keep seeing at the movie theater. Finally, we want everyone to know the inspirational story of an F1 driver who finally won a race on his 239th try.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Happy belated 1000 episodes! (11:13) - Go check out episode 300 (14:52) - Happy 70th birthday to... Godzilla? (19:43) - Cinema corner (23:06) - The Bear s4 (Spoilers!) (41:06) - Fantastic Four: First Steps (Spoilers!) (01:04:12) - Cinema corner continued (01:25:39) - Pop culture lightnight round (01:29:45) - The F1 corner (01:37:38) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 300.  To celebrate episode 300, we present a special travelogue on Kyle's roadtrip to visit Melissa in St. Louis! We explore toasted ravioli, the Arch, Forest Park, the found art jungle gym that is City Museum, getting rained on at the Muny, seeing Superman in James Gunn's hometown movie theater, the real burgermobile from Good Burger, and Uranus Fudge Factory.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Car troubles (00:36) - Intro (00:40) - Welcome and banter (02:30) - More on the car troubles and our journey to St. Louis (05:08) - Let's talk food (13:31) - Art Museum! Roaring (17:28) - Art Museum! The actual art. (18:43) - The City Museum (24:54) - The Muny (30:04) - Superman (35:21) - The trip home and Uranus Fudge Factory (38:53) - The episode 300 curse (39:21) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 299. For our annual trivia night, Kyle brings well-researched questions from across pop culture, and Melissa offers a quiz on the Captain's Log itself. Which two Muppets appeared in every episode of The Muppet Show? How much do the burgers cost on Bob's Burgers? What actor did we once fancast as a live-action Gumby? What limited edition McNugget sauces did Kyle eat with the McDonald's BTS-themed meal? We also add visual questions this year, where Melissa has to identify comic book creators and Kyle has to identify the Spice Girls. Join us for the thrill of competition, the joy of learning!Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Welcome and banter (03:56) - Housekeeping (08:53) - Trivia starts here (10:40) - Kyle's main questions (38:19) - Comic Creator Match up! (01:09:24) - Melissa's main questions (01:32:00) - Spice up your life (01:44:20) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 298. Kyle received surprise bonus snacks with his Switch 2. Melissa fears being sent to a circle of hell for people who use too many plastic grocery bags. Our cinema corner features Friendship, Bring Her Back, The Phoenician Scheme, Materialists, and The Life of Chuck -- which, spoiler alert, is mostly about math. We also discuss new operas, a performance of Hamlet where he "does a Saltburn," Brits we expect to see knighted in the future, women in fast cars, and our deep excitement for Spaceballs 2.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Good and bad customer service experiences (14:41) - Did you know there are NEW operas? (24:38) - Cinema Corner (43:49) - Housekeeping (50:08) - Pop culture lightning round (01:09:09) - F1 Fastest Lap (01:23:39) - Our annual trivia episode is next! (01:26:28) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 297. Melissa lists things Kyle can see on his upcoming trip to St. Louis: our local walk of fame, live outdoor theater, all kinds of big weird statues, classic Italian dining, the original Build-a-Bear Workshop, and a school bus where it shouldn't be. We also discuss speed-reading a sad book, if Black Bag could've been sexier, who will "win" San Diego Comic Con this year if there isn't a Marvel panel, and the first look at Wake Up Dead Man.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - What is the fastest you have ever read a book? (03:57) - Video podcast redesign (06:21) - Kyle's never used Canva (08:48) - Planning a trip to St. Louis (01:05:14) - Housekeeping (01:09:41) - Cinema Corner (01:18:25) - Let's do another podcast swap (01:20:28) - Pop culture lightning round (01:34:33) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 296. Melissa went on vacation to House on the Rock, a sprawling junk drawer of a house in the forests of Wisconsin. We take a tour of its many baffling sights, and discuss optical illusions, centaurs with the wrong ratio of human to horse, and a statue so big that it becomes cosmic horror. We also catch up with F1 news, Met Gala looks, the filmography of Gabriel LaBelle, movies about musicians on the edge, and finally, our predictions for Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Would you build an optical illusion in your house? (08:26) - Escape at Dannemora season 2 but not really (11:10) - The Cinema Corner (27:44) - The F1 Corner (36:24) - Housekeeping (44:45) - House on the Rock (01:37:18) - Pop culture lightning round (01:46:42) - Mission Impossible 8 predictions (02:04:10) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 295. We celebrated May the 4th this year by designing our own dream Star Wars movies! Kyle makes a crime caper and Melissa makes a psychological horror, who's surprised? We talk about spending more time in this world's unique architecture, a starship so big you can't walk across it all in one day, food and beverage of the Galaxy's Edge theme park, and why Colman Domingo should be the first actor to play himself in a Star Wars project. We also discuss Beta Ray Bill, cooking classes, and real working cars made of LEGO.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - F1 lego cars and cooking classes (12:09) - Coming up: Let's make a Star Wars (13:26) - Housekeeping (17:50) - Let's make a Star Wars (19:23) - Melissa's Star Wars (37:24) - Kyle's Star Wars (01:01:11) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 294. Finally, after years of doing our Cinema Corner, we add more Corners and build a full house. This house has everything: an observatory, a racetrack, and a bathroom with fancy soaps that's just for company. We discuss Star Wars news, current F1 standings, recent bloodbaths in movies and TV like Warfare, Sinners, and Daredevil: Born Again, the trailers for The Fantastic Four: First Steps and sports horror movie Him, the video game Blue Prince, and Mr. Darcy jump scares.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - All nighters and The Blue Prince (14:38) - The Cinema Corner (45:47) - Housekeeping (54:11) - The Cicada's haunt us (55:23) - The Star Wars Corner (01:09:10) - Pop culture lightning round (01:27:38) - The F1 corner (01:50:21) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 293. Top questions this week: If "space opera" is a narrative genre, are there also "land operas?" Can you really taste subtle notes of oak in that wine, or are you just making that up? Will the four Beatles movies have four popcorn buckets that combine to make one big bucket? Why aren't there any original, non-franchise superhero stories on film? We also discuss Marvel's five-hour livestream of chairs, if the fight to save Coyote vs. Acme will give it a box office bump, trailers for One Battle After Another and Tron: Ares, the new Spider-Man trilogy, the crime thriller Prisoners, and the biggest Paul Bettany you've ever seen.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Space opera, land opera, sea opera (09:31) - Wine tasting (16:36) - Kyle's boring week (21:26) - Housekeeping (26:18) - Marvel chairs (53:39) - More pop culture (01:02:49) - One Battle After Anoter and Tron Ares (01:10:33) - The Cinema Corner (01:21:37) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 292. Formula 1 racing begins a new season this spring, and we have Brad Pitt's F1 movie this summer, so it's time for Kyle to explain what the sport actually is! With a beautifully constructed slideshow, we give a primer to newbies about how the race works, fun facts about each driver, the evolution of the teams, and answers to Melissa's questions like "do they play jock jams at the races?" and "are there mascot costumes?" We also briefly discuss new films in theaters this month and what's on YouTube's own YouTube channel.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - Welcome and banter (02:24) - Kyle has a presentation explaining Formula 1 (07:14) - How did Kyle get into Formula 1 (10:18) - The presentation begins: Formula 1 EXPLAINED!! (11:03) - What is Formula 1 and when did it start? (15:48) - Formula 1 teams for 2025 (22:29) - F1 Academy (27:58) - Formula 1 drivers for 2025 (01:05:57) - Formula 1 team principals for 2025 (01:12:03) - Housekeeping (01:17:53) - How do Formula 1 cars and tyres work? (01:26:03) - What happens during the race weekend and the race iteslf? (02:01:01) - Formula 1's greatest drivers and teams (02:08:26) - Melissa's other Formula 1 questions (02:16:40) - Where to learn more about Formula 1 (02:28:37) - End of presentation and final thoughts (02:30:16) - Melissa's quick Cinema Corner (02:33:42) - Outro Reply on Bluesky ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 291. We ask what you should do if you find the image of Jesus, a celebrity, or a Pokemon in a food. How do you preserve it? Who authenticates it? Who would pay $70,000 for something like that? Kyle catches us up on Daredevil and is two degrees of separation away from a Narcos character. Melissa brings us a real horse performance and tries to understand high society at the opera and symphony. We discuss our Oscar predictions, the future of James Bond, a new Green Lantern, and a very specific and perhaps useless piece of exclusive news about Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - What would you do if you saw Jesus' face in your food? (06:24) - Random local dude are no fun says random local woman (08:37) - The Oscars and our prediction results (18:05) - Getting Melissa to watch The Video Game Awards (24:10) - The Cinema Corner (42:38) - James Bond and the Symphony of Solice (50:36) - Housekeeping (56:36) - Pop culture lightning round (01:09:17) - Melissa joins high society (01:26:47) - Get ready for Kyle's F1 explainer (01:31:33) - Outro ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Episode 290. Kyle nominates a new Luigi. Melissa completes another Wet Awards. We both insist you watch Hundreds of Beavers! We also discuss local Oklahoma City sports, regattas, what if F1 had theme nights, a corn musical, dough hooks, blindly filling out an Oscars ballot, and taking your Gundam models to a nice dinner and seating them at the table with pretend food.Click here to watch a video of this episode. (00:00) - Intro (00:04) - When was the last time you accidentally hurt yourself? (04:10) - Cinema Corner (11:45) - Coffee and soda (13:59) - I vote for Luigi Primo (16:56) - Becoming hockey people (24:15) - Theme nights in F!? (39:47) - Housekeeping (45:05) - Gundam is personally pranking Melissa (51:16) - The Wet awards (55:17) - Kyle's blind Oscars predictions (01:21:22) - Cinema corner reprise (01:22:25) - Outro ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★